Monday, June 20, 2005

The Dove flies away

Place the nail lightly on the wood.Dont hold it too hard.It should be held lightly.Vertically.The tip just touching the wood's surface.Now.Now.Bring down the hammer in one graceful swipe , hitting the head of the nail right on.Thuck.The nail slides down the wood , passing through its interiors in one smooth motion till its head stops against the surface.
Dear "bored-with-work" / "bored-without-work" readers,that was it.That was the last nail in the coffee colored teak coffin of my little story with "her".She has found someone better than me.She is with him now,And after all the tears and hurt I gave her , even Osama Bin Laden with all his Bazookas and Rocket Launchers would seem better than me.But Seriously,"he" must be a better guy than me. Am I sad ? I do not know.There is this stupid tree with the breeze of life passing through it.A dove comes along on sits on this tree's branch.The tree wants this dove to stay forever.But it flies off ,because it has to.And the tree should be happy.The dove left its branch.But somewhere , this dove is flying , sailing in a cool breeze and happy.
And its all my doing. Trust me . All my doing.
Regrets.I do not believe in them.Memories.They stay forever.But they are just black and white Kodak moments from the past. And Life is to be lived.Lived.Love is not about finding someone to love oneself.Its about loving someone.Oh my.Love.Pretty confusing word.
Infact , love has been confused with 'possession' by these hat wearing bollywood directors who keep shouting 'cut' and 'action' and 'lights' all day.
Atal meets Sonia.Atal whispers "Kehdo na , you are my Sonia".This is the slide where all the trouble starts.We can consider killing the director right at this scene.What Atal wants is to Sonia to remain with himself.Himself.Him.Atal.The central pin.What he wants is not Sonia to be happy.Sonia can remain happy with Manmohan.But nah.Atal wants Sonia.Not Sonia's happiness.Atal doesnt love Sonia.
He loves himself.
Sonia is happy sipping a "two-straws-one-glass" lassi with Manmohan.So Atal Bhai , let her be happy , if you truly love her.
A mother wont ever do something which will make her child unhappy.Even if she has to undergo hurt.Because for her , There is no "Kehdo na , you are mine".Its just the child's happiness she wants.Just the child.The child.No herself.The mother just wishes a smile on her child's face.For her ,she herself does not exist in the picture.Thats love.
Maybe this seems a very practically difficult way to love , but then just when you get practical about love , it ceases to be love.
I feel peaceful.She has hopefully found someone who was meant for her.Who can give her more smiles than the tears I gave to her.And my clock says its past 3 in the morning.I better find my place amongst the empty coke bottles , dirty shirts , strewn newspapaers and compact disks on my bed now.Because I have to wake up to a new day tomorrow.To savour a new day of this gift , a bundle of experiences , called life.


Ms. V said...

It's bad enough I don't think much about our country's leaders and now you've put worse images in my head. Eww eww eww!

No wonder you're not a movie director. It's ALWAYS Raj, Prem and Priya. That's it. ALWAYS. It's the magic formula! Maybe a Rohit if you need a 4th dude. But that's where it ends.

As for the "finding newer pastures", you will too. And then it's not about feeling happy for the other person because you'll be too busy feeling happy for yourself. People leave only because someone else is meant to take that place. It doesn't matter whose fault it is. Some day you will look back and think "Yes. She left not because it was my fault, but because she was meant to, so that I could have so-and-so in my life." I hope it helps to hear it from someone who's 'been there, done that.' :)

PS - Let me know when that headache of yours wears out ;)

rohit kaul said...

This was well bound to happen and u always knw relax, chill and bury tht coffin so tht it can RIP.

waise yeh atal aur sonia kahan se beech mein aa gaye :D :D

and just wait there will be a dove who'll cum and permanently stay with u, making tht stupid tree an abode for life :)

PS:ms V said sumthing abt movies and characters :)..rohit chahiye ho to just buzz me :D :D :D I am a born actor and a bit of casting couch I wont mind >:) >:)

Vaibhav said...

Hehhehehe... Amorous Perros, and I say that with the greatest of affection for Lowe! :)

"been there, have had that done to me" (thats gonna be the name of Chapter 19 in my Autobiography)!!

Life's full of lovable people but you can only see it once you get over your past/fears! So forget about placing blame and Keep Walking.

Vaibhav said...

By the Way, Ms. V, did you come across this blog through my BlogRoll or did you always know our now mutual friend?


is she is a dove.. and she was with u .. thn she was there on the tree for sure.. nt ment to fly off...u urself broke up with her,... then say she :had: to fly off .. .. n now waitin for a permanenet dove.. now if she comes ull break up withher again.. n will wait for yet another dove ..and the when she'll find another guy ull feel bad.. again.. y r u still thinkin abt her.. ?? chalo .. that coffin thing reminds me.. may b its over.. par will the comming doves stay .. or will the last story repeat itself ..

newayz.. its ur personal matter

chalo bye


oops just read the comment i posted.. its really difficult to understand what i just wrote.. but its ok.. coz its worth nthin :P :D


Miss Sea said...

Very difficult to love unselfishly, to love the person's happiness even if it means sacrifising your own. good point there.

Aparna said...

hey abhi,

i've also been thru all dis...but i firmly believe in the cliche which goes like "if u luv someone, set him/her free....bla bla bla"

i won't say forget abt it n move on cuz @least i haven't been able to forget "him"....n its been 3 yrs!!

tk care.....n wutever happens is for d best...geeta saar...btw m i getting too philosophical? i better stop here!!

- aparna

Abhi said...

@ Ms. V : Greener pastures.Somehow I have come to belive that no pasture stays green for long.Thats life.Not that thats a bad thing.whatever , I am enjoying the ride.Ouch , my head hurts real bad.

@ RK : Permenantly staying dove.I dont expect her and am not waiting for her.Letting ur emotions conrol you.Not for me maybe.

@Vaibhav : Still young and chapter 19 done with.You have plans for writing a mammoth biography.Please dont make it like my bulky finance books.Keep walking.I am.

@Nidhi : I am not waiting for any "dove" now.Those things look better in mushy movies.I am not a dead romantic.But I am not expecting anyone now.And I accept all blame buddy.I dint mean to accuse her.The blame is mine.But life is practical. A makes B feel good.B loves A.A makes B feel bad now.B hates A.Practical love.I cudnt give her true love.And I dont expect it from anyone.SO no waiting buddy.

And I still cant comment on your blog , but the last post on your blog was stunningly innocently nice.Good to know youngsters think these things in the "kaanta laga" age.

@ TT : Somebody just call the CNN guys.TT just appreciated a point put by me.Just kidding buddy.Just kidding.And now dont confirm my reactions with MK;)

@ Aparna : Very apt aparna.Thats the point.Learning from ur experiences.Maybe im no more the bubbly romantic I felt i was. but i am wiser.hopefully.

rohit kaul said...

two things i noticed dear( i m definitely not trying to seduce u here:D)
1) "Permenantly staying dove.I dont expect her and am not waiting for her"
--> kyun bhai shaadi nahi karega kyaa???
2)"Good to know youngsters think these things in the "kaanta laga" age."
--> many grey hair do u have ?? abhi to javani baki hai yaar teri :D



hey abhinav.. kata laga age :P dun u think u also belong to the same age? how old r u newayz? 23-24 :P he he .. chalo ne wayz.. u stil din leave ne msg at my blog so i could find out ur ip n find out some methot to solve the probem..


and by dinleave ne msg at my blog i mean ne msg on the shout box ...

thats accessible naa ?

divya said...

hmm to love without being selfish!! that seems so hard to me... or maybe i just havent thought of it in that perspective... now doesnt that make me sound like a very shallow human being.

Naveen said...

I havent the least idea what love is...but one thing i have noticed is that when ur with someone u tend to feel that that person is the one...and then when u break up with him/her and move onto a different person after some time...u again feel the same thing...and o'course u want him/her to be happy but the prob is that u also want to be a part of that happiness...thats what bugs me...we all want to be happy for ourselves but there are people we want to share it with..and when u know that ur not going to be a part of it nemore...its rather devastating...
chill dude...u will have better doves...maybe everything taht happens happens for the best...tho i stiull see many instances in my life when i could have sworn that the above quote isnt true...maybe i need a change of perspectives...

Miss Sea said...

mean vagabond...mean vagabond with very short memory (considering that I am an "old" reader of this blog. cough cough) :P

SonnyBoy said...

know wat u talkin about....
they will do it to u all the time, wont they... lets move on!

Abhi said...

@SonnyBoy : Oh no buddy.She wasnt one of them.Its all my fault.She not one of those , trust me.

SonnyBoy said...

Oh! Sorry! Got carried away in my own thoughts...!!
Why dont u wait for that expression on ur prospective pa-in-laws face when u tell him you are from IIM... Will be a treat to watch... Whatsay?

Boldnbeautiful said...

Very true,The Dove flies away, Whenever it find's a better tree to accomodate. Without even a second thought.
But, if a tree feels happy for losing the Dove, then even Tree might have been fed up with that Dove.

In child mother relation, what ever may happen, she is a mother, she has that bond, . But in relation,if u break up once u are Ex. & with break up, that is end of ur relation. No one care u too.

Anonymous said...

"What he wants is not Sonia to be happy.Sonia can remain happy with Manmohan.But nah.Atal wants Sonia.Not Sonia's happiness" Your post reminds me of my ex-bf who used to say same things & used to expalin me same mother and child relationship.and though everyone is different in this world but sometimes ur posts reminds me of him.If people like u really exist in this world, why do they hurt people?? anyways, thats ur personal matter.

Jam said...

You, my friend, are one amazing chap with a lovely jest for life.

Not too many people can describe a break-up the way you did, and I m quite sure all the words are from your heart.

Like you said, life has too many more things to offer than just 'her'. Maybe the memories will never be erased completely, but then you've learnt your lessons from this experience and emerged a wiser person. Not too many people can lay stake to this claim of yours.


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