Thursday, December 08, 2005

One night @ My room

9.53 p.m.

Tommorrow , I have my "Retail Management" exam.When I opted for this course , I wanted to learn about retail chains , franchise system , merchandise management ,retail communication mix and other such terms which are complex names for things which are common sense.I took this course so that I can pick up these complex terms and throw them around when I start working. That should make me look learned even if the number of meaningful suggestions I give are comparable to the number of Gandhi Peace awards in Osama Bin Laden's collection.

So tomorrow is my exam.I plan to jot down general observations as the night progresses. My hostel stay shall end in four months from now. So I want to record random moments from my hostel life. I have downloaded the course presentations and chapter slides our professor uploaded on the Institute online board.So now I am going to minimise this notepad window and study.Wish me luck.

Between , isn't this "wish me luck" a stupid thing to ask ? I do not think you will fold your fingers into a fist , pump the air thrice , clench your teeth and mutter "Go blast the exams.Best of luck". It is strange why people say such things .Now I am going to study.

11.27 p.m.


Imagine an Ambassador car.1985 model. Red colored. Dusty. Old. Imagine a fat and dark guy with a grumpy face in the driver's seat. Imagine a fat lady with bright red lipstick on her pouty lips and her hair tied in a big bun , sitting in the seat besides him. Imagine their three kids quarelling in the back seat. Imagine yourself pushing this car for the length of a football field. Imagine how tired you will feel after doing that.Right now , I feel that tired.

Because I spent the last half trying to let out a baby bat that had found its way into my room.The dense vegetation and all the lakes in the campus makes it an attractive place for fish , ducks , snakes , bats and criminals looking to dump deadbodies. So at around 10.50 , I noticed a little baby bat flying in vicious circles just below the roof of my room. I got up and opened the door and the windows. But the little bat had learnt no other shape except the circle in his geometry class.

I folded a copy of businessworld in a makeshift baton and
waved it at him. I yelled "Hoosh Hoosh" ,"Bhaag ja" ,"get lost" , "its my exam" ,"please leave" , "wo dekh window" and "saale kutte" at it . I played 'Dholna extended -Ila Arun remixed' , a song I find disturbing enough to make a lion vacate his cage , but the little bat kept at showing me his circular flying skills. Five minutes ago , he realised that I was not going to give him any Air Force medal or even a 'nice flying' remark , so he shot out of the window. Between , studies are ok.

1.05 am


Just found the album "aadat" on the LAN. It is by the pakistani group "Jal". My tastes suck. I choose maroon trousers at a clothes store and always pick the cheapest flavor at an ice cream parlor. But trust me on this , the track "Aadat si hain" , "Dil Haray" , "Panchhi" ,"Woh Lamhey" , infact all the tracks in this album are beautiful. Their numbers evoke a sense of nostalgia and dig up all the black and white memories about that pretty girl you could never talk to without stammering , about dried rose petals placed between yellowed pages , about all that sentimental memories which earns big bucks for mushy mushy movie directors and wrecks the 'retail management' exams of business school students.

3.42 am

This is a snapshot of my desktop a couple of minutes back. You see this music video playing , I swear on Sharmila Tagore's dimples , I found it in the folder containing the chapter slides uploaded by our professor. I thought it was the "Trading area analysis" chapter , but it turned out to be this. Do not believe this . Chill, just taking a 15 minute break and watching random music videos.Can you identify the one playing ?



3.52 am

I feel very tired now.I think I will go downstairs with P and have a cup of tea.P usually makes
me pay for his tea too.But that is all right , much better than asking a baby bat to leave my room. Between , studies are on track. I learnt a few things.Picked up some retail jargon . And it makes me feel good. Imagine this :

*Six months from now*


Me in a business meeting.Polished Round table.Me and other team members sitting around it.

Lily ( my imagined boss ) - I am so confused . I am so troubled. I do not know how to boost profits for our product ! Someone help me !

John ( my imagined colleague ) - Err..ummm...

Michael (my other imagined colleague ) - Cough Cough Cough..ahem..cough cough..ahem...

Julie ( my another imagined colleague ) - Err..I think...I think...

Me :

*flashes a superior smirk* *flicks back a lock of hair falling over the forehead*

Piece of
cake guys.We just need to implement dollar control which involves planning and monitoring a retailer’s financial investment in merchandise over a stated period .I could have suggested unit control , which relates to the quantities of merchandise a retailer handles during a stated period , but then according to the George Keller framework of analysis ,valuation errors are reduced when conducting a physical inventory since merchandise value is recorded at retail and costs do not have to be decoded.So it is clear , L Hospital rule is the way to boosted profits .

*again flicks back a lock of hair falling over the forehead and flashes the smirk*


John ( with his mouth open so wide so as to allow a Tata Sumo in it )- Holy cow !!!


Michael ( cowering in shame ) - Someone flush me down some toilet.I dont want to live when we have such genius people roaming the planet.


Julie - Man !! You are a genius !!! Will you marry me ?!


Lily - Guruji !!! You are promoted to the CEO position !!!


8.48 am


Shucks.I slept off.Just got up five minutes back.Exam in few hours.I must forget
all about toothbrush , newspaper , breakfast and other morning activities and just study now. Over and out. And now if I flunk , you know you have to blame a baby bat , a dream about an office meeting ,and a pakistani music band.

96 comments:

R said...

hehe...the beauty of commenting on a fresh post..is comparable only to the smell of rain falling on the heat baked earth , is comparable to the warmth of the weak winter sun, is comparable to the snug feeling of the warm 'rajai' on a bleaky cold winter morning...aah..Munnu see u made a poet out of me..
p.s. my exams begin soon and i have lost my head..kindly bear with me.

Kaala Kavva said...

mai frust hu!
i mean
mai first hu!

heehahah
mast post

sirf ek doubt...

L' hospitale's rule limits and continouity mein nahi lagta ???

saale! anpad! kuch pad le dhartee ke boj... khud ko genius chacha chaudhary samajhtha... pad saale pad!

Kaala Kavva said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kaala Kavva said...

Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

is ruchi ne mujhe beat kar diya!!!

Nahiiiiiiiiiiii.....


Why you beat me ??? Gareebo pe atyachaar!!!

R said...

@zee--- dekho vatsa...yeh mere pechale janam ke punya hi hai jiski wajah se main yeh mahan- mahan kaam karne ki shakti rakhti hoon...tu dukhi na ho , prani....aaj mera din tha..umm..i mean meri midnight thi...kal teri hogi...e pathik tu apane raste se na bhatak....tujhe manjil milegi,
avashya milegi.
asheerwaad.
p.s. i shall reiterate(i think the spellingz totally rong but then i always spell like a moron..) that my exams begin in a few days and i have lost my head..

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

And what happens as your office clerk discovers your little secret? Maybe you will find yourself pushing that Ambassador car after all :)

aMyth! said...

Fingers folded into a fist , pumping the air thrice , clenching my teeth..i mutter...
"Go blast the exams, dude.Best of luck".

Shahab said...

Lol .. Stop dreaming now .. Go back to studies .. ;) ..

Jal rocks though .. I love Aadat .. !!

Suds said...

Great post man.. I like the dream...:):) Best of luck for ur exam...

Anonymous said...

{clenching fingers into a fist , pumping the air thrice and waving a checkered flag} ... Go abhinav, go! go get da exams.. all the best!!

Kaala Kavva said...

@ruchi
hey maatey!
aapne is dusht kee aakhein khol dee!
My marg se bhatak chuka tha. Apnay mujhe subuddhi dekar mera kalyaan kiya. Mere buray karamo ke kaaran jo mai aaj bhugat raha hu ab woh mujhe sweekaar hai. Yeh ahsaas aapne prakat karaya!
Jai ho aapki. Jai ho.

The Bhandari's said...

oooooooh.... what a dream and imagination key to kya kehnay..

Maan gayey aap ko

LovingAndLosing said...

I have a marketing exam tomorrow and I'm reading your blog. So how'd you like this boat???

Anonymous said...

Hey Jughead! Good one...:)

Sayesha said...

Hahahaha!! :D

Maybe yelling "Saale chamgaadad" instead of "saale kutte" would have helped! :D

Fursat said...

so abhi is having exams...Best of luck ..do well..i really want you to do well..

and itne sare folders my God..gaane sun raha tha..

i have heard only woh lamhey..so send me other songs of it :D

chal tu ab padai kar...

take care..

God bless u !

Tar said...

Juggie... You have made IIM a dream place( as though it isnt one already). i could perhaps fit in well thr, if all i had to do was dream ;) How did your exam go?? Managed the Retailers well, huh?

SonnyBoy said...

Delhi Chalo Abhiyan? Mast hai bhai! And that was an interesting statistic you gave me...

Dreamcatcher said...

your room has turned into a zoo, dont you have lizards or spiders?? and hope eggjam goes well :)

Abhi said...

@ruchi-my exams begin soon and i have lost my head.

It is the truth.Feeling of commenting on a fresh post= snug feeling of the warm 'rajai' on a bleaky cold winter morning.What comparison:).Man , a lot of blogs put together can keep the world warm then.Say No to 'Rajais'.

@mani-L' hospitale's rule limits and continouity mein nahi lagta ???.

Ulta jawab deta hai naalayak !! IIM ka yehi to fayda hain.bakwaas karro tab bhee technical lagta hain.;).tu sahi hai raja.L hospital wahi hain school wala.:)

@sudipta-Humne kacchi goliyan nahi kheli thaakur."How to cover up stupidity" ke upar book likh sakta hun aaj hee.

@amyth-haha.:).Thanks man.I feel motivated :)

@shahab- it does ! how about "dil haray" , the guitars are just so magical in that.

@suds - Thanks man:).Nice to see 'foren vijitors' to this blog.:).I mean being in amreeka , you are as good as a foreigner to me.:)

@anat - man !! you make me feel ready to take on the pakistani army now ! :)

@lotus - its not funny re.A bat in ur room is not funny !:)

@preeti and sachin - tareef karu kya apni , tareef karu main uski , jisne mujhe banaya .;)

@divya - dont faint.just dont.i was kidding.no L hospital here.so dnt panic.you will do fine.its all right.no L hospital , sacchi...

@Ms.V - I guess we have already communicated enough on that exam eve , and shamelessly at that !:)how was the exam ?

@uptown girl - Whatever re.:)your working life post scared me more than 'the omen' did.

@sayesha - hindsight mein presence of mind !:).yaar, tab to bheja fry ho raha tha , i cudnt think of the insightful "saale chamgaadad" remark.:)

@neetie -professor ki chachi , padai padai padai , ear cancer ho gaya hain yeh word sun sun kar !:)

@tar - u find this a dream place ?hello , this is no disneyland re.:).and you are rude , asking about the exam after knowing all this !

@handa-yup bhai , raajdhaani ka haal dekh karr ata hun kuch dino mein.:)

@DC - nah , right now we are just keeping two animals in this zoo maam.A bat , and me.And the eggjam did not go well !:)

Ashish Gupta said...

heyyy u make a lousy system administrator :P dekho kitna cluttered hai desktop :O

the only good thing i see around is vlc, system mech6.0 and dc++. file sharin ftp ke thru' nahi chalti kya iim mein ? here we live on ftp servers ;)

and ur login name is munnu :D

exams kaise hua ? great to know u'll be out of college again and impressing girls in technical meetings :P rotfl.

Fathima Sagar said...

Reminded me the way I had to chase away a baby bat from my hostel room. The difference was here, it wasn't going in circles, it went in different directions, and once was almost out but preferred to come back in.
And the warden told me that a bat coming in to a house is considered a good omen! Hmmm, but she said that only after it went away:((((((

Zee'Ay said...

hahaha
you sure engaged the fly with you well!

Anonymous said...

Well Said DUDE:-)

Its so true

Anonymous said...

hey...even i'm an mba student..ver frm? dont even ask..goin thru my summer internship...am supp 2 b researchin the steel industry...got bugged...googled "saale kutte" n this blog was the 1st on the list...damn gud...
nice blog..can identify totally wid it...

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot! »

Rajendranath and Me. said...

Hi Abhi,
Nice one.
I enjoyed a lot.
Howz the things going on in your office now :) ?
Did your manager proposed you?

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Этап 3
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