my feelings abt cat

i often wonder how i manged to attain the motivation to go after cat so desperately.i guess its this way when one gets what he wants.maybe im unable to go back and imagine the time when i was preparin fr car and the fire burning within me at that time.but one issue im still unable to get is when guys say that they wanna get into iims to earn like hell.now ,dont think that im any kind of saint or anyone even near it but just money??how can it drive one so hard?maybe i dont appreciate its importance since ive never had to earn it upto this point of my life.but still i wonder if one needs the kinda money these iims are said to offer and if it brings more ills rather than gains.

if i try to delve into the reasons why i did cat,i think of the following:

* the challenge:its been teh way with me.working towards a target,the pain,sweat,trials ,pressure..i kinda enjoy it.i did iit /dce/cat bcos i enjoyed working hard and proving to myself taht i have it in me.

* better career:or i may say that an escape from technical jobs was wahat i needed.i never got into the groove as far as comp engg was oncerned and felt sick at teh thought of coding and computers for the rest of my life.

* money :thatz a reason although not a primary one.its more of being like..yea,maybe a lot of money will make life easier for me and my loved ones.

* recognition: i love it when my parents tell others proudly abt my gettin into iim calcutta.the pride and happiness theyve got is my greatest reward rite now.in a way ,my success is their success,my failure is theirs and i never want to fail them.and after 4 years of "masti" at college,i wanted to show the guys at my college and the rest of teh world teh stuff im made of.

i guess these factors reflect what i feel rite now.i may come across a lil smug guy after reading this but wat the heck,i dont write this for others but for myself.