Sunday, May 02, 2010

Thakur, Life se Panga ho gaya.

You know, all the pangas you face in this life, from a quarrel with the subjiwala over the rates of tinda to dropping your cellphone in a drain, can be classified in three distinct categories, ascending in order of their gravity.

The smallest and most chindi sort of pangas are those where your sneaky boss sneaks up from behind, while you are chatting with pinkbunny_89 on the office system. Not very dangerous, if you remain as calm as a dead rabbit and tell the boss that the client from New Jersey likes to discuss project requirements under the guise of pinkbunny_89 due to 'security reasons'.


Then there is the little more jaanleva category of pangas, when, a month later than the aforementioned incident involving your boss and miss pinkbunny_89, your sneaky boss again sneaks up on you, and catches you chatting with pinkbunny_89 while the client from New Jersey is on the phone with the boss. Still manaeagable, I would say, if you can put on a facial expression as wooden as John Abraham’s, and say to your boss, 'Pinkbunny_89 is NOT our client from New Jersey ? …Pinkbunny_89 is not ? Well Sir….what can I say….I am disappointed by the morals these cyber criminals display…”

But then, there is the biggest sort of panga, big enough to wipe out the dinosaurs upto the last inch of their tails, a panga scarier than Archana Puran Singh’ laughter on Dolby surround , the sort of panga which happens when one warm evening after the aforementioned incidents with pinkbunny_89, the sneaky boss sneaks into his daughter's room as she works on the computer, looks over her shoulder and makes the discovery that she has a rather girly chat id called pinkbunny_89, while you are merrily sending her rather disturbing emoticons from the other side.

So ladies, gentlemen and the members of ayepaisanikaalna (yaar ye jisne decode kiya na usko main apni car ka stereo nikaal ke de doonga , comments mei likhna . Waise stereo china made hain.) , over the last 8 months, I have discovered that I have taken a panga with life, which belongs to the third variety.

If I try to discover where to start, I will be busy discovering while you grow old enough to buy yourself a 36 piece set of Adult Diapers, so if I winzip the agenda, my life over this duration is represented fairly by two glimpses of the flashback ( Yes, you are supposed to read them in Black and White font. )

Scene 1
Venue: My boss’s cabin.

Boss: "You want to think again?"
Me (thought to myself- Abhi, think again. It has been proved that A man without money is mathematically equal to man without a girl within a radius of atleast Five kilometers): "No."
Boss : "I would say, give it a thought."
Me ( thought to myself – So I need to get to a distance of more than 5 kilometers from myself to get married !) : "Nopes, I already have thought , I do not want to continue."
Boss : "Ok."

And with that sigh infested two lettered 'Ok', I quit the biggest company in the world, to join one of the smallest .I mean, picture this for a perspective – Every morning you walk to the ocean with a bucket, towel and lux ( aur kya ?) to take a bath, and then one day you decide to take a dip in the water accumulated inside a shoe. Or another surrogate view, you have been eating a cheeseburst pizza with oodles of toppings every day, and then one day you are supposed to burp after chewing on your fingernails. Just as a demonstration of how ridiculously paagal I felt about myself, I did not tell my family that I had resigned till after two months of doing it.

I do not know wether it was the quarter life crisis people talk about, or it was some part of my restless soul crying out like a himesh mp3, or just the gas experienced on a monday morning, but I just had to do it. We spend all our lives being scared of “what if”, but once you walk out a situation you do not enjoy and face the fear, you discover it was not that bad. I mean, yeah, your parents will think you have been smokin opium and all the girls who thought you were cute would delete your number from their cellphones , but you would not be scared anymore . I mean , you are facing it right there, so you are not scared of the future. I needed to do it so that I am not scared of the future. Makes sense? Not to most of the people around me, but it sure feels good. Onto to the second BIG panga.

Scene 2
Venue : Home.

Dad : " If you walk out of that door, make your own stay arrangements"
Me : ( thought to myself – He would never mean that. ) : Heh ! Ok !
Dad : "I mean that !."
Me : ( thought to myself - Shit . He means that .) : Gulp ! Ok !

And around seven seconds after that, I walked out of the door to travel 233 kilometers and ask for the hand of the girl I am going to marry soon. (Oye hoye !!! oye dhol walo dhol bajao !!! oye punjabi music play karo oye !!).

Over the last eight months, I have been exposed to a bad version of the world war 3, and I say bad version, because you can attack a German soldier if you are a US dude, but how do you attack when the people you face are your own ( ah !! is it similar to the dilemma arjun bhaiyya faced in mahabharat.avi ? ). I have been kicked out of the home for a brief period of time, have cried enough to fill a 500 ml bottle of diet coke, she has cried enough to fill out a swimming pool filled with diet coke, have slammed doors, wanted to drive into a truck only to realise "ui ma !kaafi bada truck hain ! cycle mein drive in karun ? , but most importantly, have been assured, reassured, and re-re-assured that she is totally worth it, and I shall be proven dumber than Uday Chopra if I were to do anything which resulted in her heart being broken, or even dented.
So both of us have stuck together like we eat Fevicol three times a day, and we shall be getting married in some time. I can only try to tell my parents that accepting a girl with such a beautiful heart is the biggest favor they can do on me and on themselves. I mean, bhaiyya kar kya rahe ho, dekh to lo ! ( Mujhe na feeling aa rahee hai that if my parents read this post, mere mummy papa mujhe hayden ke size ke bando se pitwayenge !)

So bhaiyya , the whole thing is, that job mein panga, and personal life mein panga. Watt itni lagee hai life mein ki kaano se smoke nikal aya, but watt lagne ke baad hee to the irons is converted into the golds !!! ( wow man, the day I am converted into gold, I would sell off an ear and buy myself a sportsbike ).

Life has been as dizzy as a polythene caught under a ceiling fan on full speed, but hopefully, I shall come through and survive like a strong polythene.

Hopefully you guys will see me fighting it out, getting stable in this job, getting married, and hence finding myself looking at a happy future of working 6 days a week and paying huge bills.

Chalo aap log bhee kuch kaam etc kar lo, hope all of you face equally big jhatkas so that I feel nicer in comparison, and remember, if your sneaky boss catches you chatting with pinkbunny_89, make sure it is not panga of the third variety.

****

Arre Arre Arre...aap to bass..you guys are sounding like maine The Great Khali ko uske ghar mein ghuske maara ( aur judge order order karta raha ! :P...damini dekhi hain chaar baar ) . I am just a guy , asking a girl to marry me and a job to pay me ! :P ( Ui ma , notting hill bhee dekhi thee ek baar ).

Chalo ab kaam kee baat , we guys want to hire some Graphic Designers and Web Designers working out of Delhi. Although full time employees are preferred, those interested in freelancing may also get in touch with me at abhinav.jain@brandsofdesire.com.

81 comments:

Ashutosh said...

As usual very funny post. But this comment is not to praise the fun part, but to praise the courage part of your life. You decided to do something and stuck to it, kudos. In the end all your loved ones would get to understand your point and also the professional life would come to a stage that you will go way better than cheesburst pizza and oceanful of bathing water. Not just my wish and hope but also belief after some experiences in life. Good luck and lage raho dost.

regards
Ashutosh

Ye manzilen !! said...

NOW, I am beginning to admire you buddy! This is how our society is gonna be better, breaking one stupid taboo at a time...

Take a Hike said...

You will get through, just hold on.

It helps not to think of what if..in the future type scenario. One day at a time baby.

But, you know better so no more advice.

Ashish Gupta said...

Been there, done that! Just make sure she is worth it and it'll all be so normal-so fast, you'll think you were dreaming.

Here's wishing that you come back to this post and be able to laugh at it within months :)

Pratik said...

The best part about all this is that you can still see the funny part of it.

Sharad said...

Dont worry bhaiya.......just dont give up now, you have come so far with it, u better stay strong till the end now !

Anonymous said...

Happy to see ur Post.
GoodLuck wid ur Life :)

- N - said...

The way you've put it..you make it sound like its nothing but I know its everything :) Life ke do bade pange hai afterall ;)

I subscribe to your theory of 'what if' and the fears.

'aye paisa nikaal na' - :O
where did this category come from ?

kirti said...

wishing you all the best. You are doing a right thing.
your parents may take some time to realise the rightnness of your decision. give them time, don't get bitter and above all ,
I admire your courage and the intact sense of humour in the times of love and panga.

All Talk and No Action said...

Soo glad to hear/read from you.

Three cheers to your courage!

Wish you all the very best :)

Charu said...

Good to see a post ... All the best with your endeavor on brand consultancy!

The Fox said...

ayepaisanikaalna: pronounced as Ai-paisa-nikaal-na
-verb transitive
1. Archaic. Asking unabashedly for alms/hafta/chanda/bribe etc etc.
-noun insensitive
2. Slang. Recently used to describe a castrated man.

Ashish Shakya said...

I've been reading and enjoying your stuff for years, but this is the first time I'm commenting. I think that's because subject aisa thha, ki by God ki kasam, feel aa gayi :D

Best of luck with everything! Hope to read a happy sequel to this post soon. Cheers!

pinx said...

So many pangaas in my life too... I mean soooo many... i dont know how to move out, i just face and face and face them praying that it will all end soon.
I do hope it will all end soon.

My best wishes to you !! Hope it gets all calm and beautiful after the storm.

rt said...

Good Luck!!

Anu said...

Abhinav,

Most of us laugh when we look back at troubled times.. But it takes a good pinch of fortitude to laugh at difficult situations while you are facing them.... This is something I have learnt from you.. Thanks for the value addition to my life and all the very best for the best times of your life ahead !

allthecrap said...

All the best dude!! :)

mirror99 said...

wow man..

i love whatever you write.
i have been reading ur blog ever since my college days...and now am myself into corporate stuff...thinking of following ur footsteps..

have been waiting for ur post since long...
welcome back dude...
welcome back...

Sanket said...

Kudos to your guts man. Don't worry, your parents will understand one day that they were wrong to disapprove of your girl :)

Manali said...

Hey,all the very best,you've taken so many pangas that u need it badly:)

unerring said...

Best of luck buddy....wish I had your courage.....

Pooja... said...

Hey all the best to you...have been following your blog since quiet some time now...few months back I was wondering if a guy, any can actually love someone so seriously...
And now I'll wonder...if any person can keep that humor intact after taking all the pangas ;)
Hope you find all happiness..bcoz u sure do have all the courage....

Jyoti said...

Very nice post... especially since I can relate to both the pangas to the very core.... I too recently have left a big company to work with a startup.
The second panga did not turn out to be good for me... the guy was not as strong as you are.... he gave up so easily as if nothing was there between us... i really don't have words to appreciate what you are doing... All the very very best in life.

Anjolly said...

If this story was not a fiction, Hails to you ! One really needs a lot of courage to take both the Pangaas ;)

smarttiger said...

oh yaar.. If this is for true.. Now onwards you are my role model.. Good Luck and Wish me Good Luck too.

Cheers..

suvra said...

for an unknwn person,i feel proud 4 t 1st time.Go Ahead,get married.....it's all worth it..

P.S:"ayepaisenikaalna"=aye paise nikaal na=ur car's stereo system.

Random Thoughts said...

thanks so much abhi .. for making me take my decision faster... mere bhi yaar bahut pange hai yaha...is company mein .. but yes we shd just let it go ... if we dont like it .... feels nice to know u ..

Reshma said...

Oye Hoyee..Balle balle, aa gayi main teri shaadi mein naachne !! :D :D

Very very happy @ your courageous stint in Life . Really proud of you munnu :-) Wish you take many more such righteous steps in Life ahead...........and keep us inspired all the while.

Cheers to a meaningful Life you are headed to, and wish you get a lot of strength, peace and success in your endeavours.

Take care,
Reshma :-)

killer is i said...

Awesome .. u encouraged me to talk to the girl i like, but no guts to even say hi to her .. i don't know how i will do that, but i m thinking to finally give it a try and feel that "good/awesome feeling". Then i will feel i am perfect .. :P ..

Good Luck with future. :) ..

Galaxian said...

Too good..At least you are outta the mess & big confusions of what iffs & bigger regrets you would have made otherwise..Kudos to your courage.Good Luck :)

Sarsij said...

All the best dude. Fight it out, you will do it!

The best metaphor in this post - Eat your fingernails and burp!

Amateur said...

Hey dude. I completely understand what you are going through. But trust me it is TOTALLY worth the fight. Just hang in there and things will fall in place. Best of luck dude. :-)

Anonymous said...

bhaiyaji ... maja aa gaya post padh ke .... you haven't lost your witty touch !! Baaki ... hang on there ... hum sab bhaiya log tumra saath hain :)

Vandita said...

i dont think i'll ever read you and not smile wide...
so well there u go, that's what I'm doin right now.
All the best for everything Abhi :)

Surya Ragunaathan said...

Your number is all the time not reachable... looks like you have changed your number yet again and haven't informed me as usual!

Mental said...

Boss kya attitude hai!! :-)

"Jeet jaenge hum..tu agar sang hai"..hope you are singing it to your one and only..

(meri jung 5 baar dekhi hai! :P)

Anonymous said...

Wow man, your fiancée is really lucky, the only guys I have met till now are shit scared to even make a commitment, leave alone marrying without their parents wishes.
Kudos to you really!!

Anonymous said...

Scene I : Panga worth to take rather than unsatisfactory job, better to take risk and be your own boss, me 2 done that, Keep rocking ...

Girish said...

Awesome as usual :) All filmi reassurances u probably don't need right now! Stay awesome as ever!

PS: Prob the only guy to comment on the ads - Ozel promos rock! Congos :)

Pujya said...

i wanted to get a quote from your company for a news article on Royal enfiled and no one replied. i called and mailed.. twice.

free publicity!!

Anonymous said...

[1] Loved the way you have written this post..
[2] The way it is written I'm really not able to comprehend whether this is just a fiction or you are actually writing about yourself!!

Since this is your first post that I'm reading .. I'm commenting under the assumption that this is not fiction and you have written about yourself..
Its almost 15 days since this post and I'm sure there would be considerable developments out there in the real life..

-- by a daughter who sees their parents suffer when the brother is having a tough time with his wife wanting to stay at her parents, not ready to take her own lil family responsibility
About the [1] panga.. i'm sure you would be able to look back and say I did good
[2] panga.. I just hope and pray that she is all worth it coz I've seen how Parents suffer when 'she' turns out to be someone else and their son suffers for the rest of his life..

Anonymous said...

kutta

Vinod R Iyer said...

Jaa abhi ... jeele apni zindagi :)

Veenu Kapoor said...

Waited Waited n Waited for your second post of the year !!! :P we all face jhatkaas... u can compare n feel nice too :)

Me_wid_Myself said...

Ohh GOddd.. Abhi!!
I am Speechless..
Just hold on there.. Baba jee sab achha achha he karenge..
load naii lene kaa thakur..
Hope to hear soon..
~Shalu

smita said...

Hi abhi..
i have been reading your blog for a long time now..
however, today for the first time, i saw the pictures that you have taken.,
everyone knows that you write really well..and what a wonderful person you are..
but really i love your photographs..i am a photography student myself..
they are brilliant..and coupled with your writing skills..killer combination i say!
and as someone once said.. do not worry..
"This too shall pass"
All the best.

Anonymous said...

you might find this useful given where u work..
www.amitoje.com

Anonymous said...

Its all worth for "She", sure you are relaxed, contented n smiling at past today.

"ayepaisanikaalna "- "show me the money" if its true I have seen Jerry Macquire more than a couple of times :)

Anonymous said...

Hey!All the best with ur life.Its quite realistic,makes lot of sense also :)
Admire ur courage..i mite well say the girl is equally lucky ..tek cre -Pragyan:)

PurpleLove said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

yes it really makes a nice adventure & a great example in the society to leave your parents who have done so much for you the entire life (spent all their savings to send you to the best edu institutions) & leave them in their old age for a girl & finally make it a humerous blog.

All the best. Time takes a somersault any moment. Never challenge the TIME.

Commenting first time. If you are really humerous, then dont remove this comment

Sari said...

ohhkkk writing dwn the comment which i dnt know snded like ayeudaretakepanga or waqtkadandabajega wait for it. Anyways dnt no d situation on ur side so cnt cmment on right/wrong.

Wat if u find ur job very very well going (almost on verge of becoming family member) and their is no personal issue (no emotional attachement = no boyfrndsss) and still you nt happy wid life goin dat way..
Guess v d mango ppl ain't b happy standing on either sides.

disaster said...

Panga No. 1: Best of Luck Dude.
Panga No. 2: I have a few lines from Amitav Ghosh.
"Nothing mattered but this - that she loved him and he loved her.Nothing else was of any account,not the planes ,not the bombs,nothing but this.This was what happiness was - he'd never known it before; this melting away,this exaltation, your guts spilling into your head,filling your eyes - this sensation of reality having met its end..."

------
vikas

Its u said...

kahani thodi filmi hai.. but its touching .. aankhen bhar aayi meri bhai. but ye khushi ke aansu hain. um desperately waiting for 20 june 2010. swarn aksharo mei likha jayega ye din. Keep rocking man and be loyal to her ever... Cheers !! for the next 3 days ;)

How do we know said...

u know what? i really hope u r writing for a living. bcs otherwise, readers have a lot to lose. In this supposedly sad post, i have laffed my head off (yeah it was small that way) and love your writing.

All the best for whats happening dude, and if u want to elope and get married (aka bhag kar shadi kar lenge.. ddlj dekhi hai 35 baar) , u know that every single reader of this blog will support you by offering a place in their homes.. you can live on rotation basis till you get a desirable job AND till the aforementioned parents realise that the muhurat is of shehnai and not of pitaai.

डॉ .अनुराग said...

झकास लिखा है .....एक दम झकास.....वो गाना है ना...मेरी आरज़ू कमीनी .......वैसे कार में चाइना का स्टीरियो .....बदल दो यार !!!!!

Anonymous said...

rite smething silly!!

lokesh said...

What a post! I wish I could post like you. Nice gud job! :).

Hi! frndz plzz must visit here

computer solution visit here okkay!
thnk U!

www.Lmobile10.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Bhut khush naseeb ho mere dost ke tumko itni acchi kudi mili....
Mere dil se poocho jo 2 saala se bas Daaro mein Gham udele jaa raha hai...

Bas itna kahuga...Har kisi ko nahi miltha yahaan pyaar zindigi mein...

Sambhal ke rakhan

pandora said...

bhaaag k shaadi mat karna! mum dad ka aashirwaad lekar hi! me too following ur footsteps!just chill. mera aashirwaad tum dono k sath hai! :D

Trip Advisor India said...

Your blog selected by TripAdvisor.in because your blog well reputed so please contact me (tripadvisorndia@gmail.com) for the listed your blog on TripAdvisor.in - the world’s largest and most popular travel community, used by more than 35 million travellers to plan the perfect trip. Via these pages, your blog will be exposed to millions of users visiting us from all over the world. These users will see your blog featured by us and will go to your blog directly from our website.

The Guy Next Door said...

Come back dude - We miss you.

You legend !!!!

Anonymous said...

abhi kuch to likho yaar .its been along time.Hasnt your panga settled yet

Anonymous said...

comon rockstar grab a cup of coffee and type something funny about life, or else yahaan ek bhi machad nahi bachega.

Anonymous said...

I’m currently being held prisoner by the Russian mafia [url=http://www.buypenisenlargement.com]penis enlargement[/url] penis enlargement and being forced to post spam comments on blogs and forum! If you don’t approve this they will kill me. [url=http://www.male-sexual-styles.com]penis enlargement[/url] penis enlargement They’re coming back now. [url=http://vimax3-4.com]vimax[/url] vimax Please send help! nitip [url=http://www.male-sexual.com]penis enlargement[/url] penis enlargement

Advertising said...

hey abhi, we love what you have to say..
what we would like is, you to tell us what you think of our take...
please visit http://bit.ly/8XrYez

Anonymous said...

Well it's been too long you have prolonged in silence. Now write something, before ppl start thinking you have been wiped out from the planet called "living earth". Hope you doing, ok. :)!!

mishrarohit said...

hey bhai...

to be frank.. i was desperdately waiting for u to come up with something on ur love life... it was irony that the updates came with the updates on ur personal life as well :P

but good going bro... u will sail thru... my wishes...

all the luck to that lady who I bet is far better than u... it takes a lot of courage to stand for someone u love against someone u love... that girl has to be unique... a gem of her kind... KUDOS TO UR LIFE...!!

and if it helps, and if u dont know it yet, ur parents will be proud of u and ur girl some day... theyw ill come back bhaijaan...

till then... apan hain na dukh baatne ke liye...

Jyoti said...

Hey Abhi,
Long time no post...pl kuch jaldi se likkho yaar..Whr has yr love life reached is something we all r eagerly waiting 4..
Al d best!!
Jyoti

Akansha Agrawal said...

Umm.. I don't know if you'll have the strength to reach the 70th comment some 5 (is it? I closed the tab) months after you wrote the post, but a good friend (fan actually) pointed out your blog, and I have been reading through it, and it is addictive, and I have enjoyed it.

I have also related to it, appearing for CAT this nov :-s No, I am not the girl in the baraat who will ask you how you cracked CAT! :P

Breaking out of the mould is tough, and anyone who does it, deserves the praise... :) Wish you all the best.

Psst... some tips on how to crack Quants won't hurt. (Kidding ;) )

Blogrolling you :)

monisha mehta said...

hey , nice blog , like it ,
won't be nice if i u can clickover to my blog page too ,
& post some suggestion

manisha said...

I got to know about ur blog thru another blogger recently but as i write this comment i have actually read all ur posts.I must say u draw amazingly funny analogies.love the way u make the mundane magical.Sometimes i cant stop chuckling when i read your posts and sometimes u leave me thinking.I dont know if you will read this comment but i do hope u resume blogging soon.Wish u loads of happiness and love in life :)

Anonymous said...

wish you all the best...don't lose her...i came across your blog by chance and read this post entirely by chance :-)

Sanjay said...

Ayepaisanikalna = Hijdas.. Let me have the stereo...

Islam said...

Thank your for sharing
Allah
Islam
Muslim
civilization
Dajjal
Sura
Qur’an
Tawheed
Hadith
Messenger
Messenger of Allah

Adult Diapers said...

Interesting and important information. It is really beneficial for us. Thanks

Droopy Rose said...

Damn Hilarious! Since I've got to this post now, I believe all the pangas would have been settled down by now!

Unknown said...

This starts cycling clothing with the domestic fabrics been marked or tagged cycling gear clothing for each customer.

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.c-online-casino.co.uk/]casino online[/url] coincide the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]casino bonus[/url] free no consign bonus at the best [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]no lay down bonus
[/url].

Anonymous said...

[url=http://hairtyson.com]phentermine 37.5[/url] are tablets that forbear slacken up on league weight. One of these tabs has to be captivated with water, almost 20 minutes ahead a meal, twice a day.

Jas said...

Hi Abhi,
i have been following your posts for quite some time now. Just curious, so did u get ur girl.? also wanted to know ur location, are u in India or someplace else.?