Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Of Indian Government Offices and my love for them

I hate them.I know hate is a bad word.But i really hate them.More than I hated that school bully who used to eat my lunch and sing vulgar songs complete with pelvic gyrations when I was at school.

The targets of my poisonous hate are these bloody "sarkaari" indian government offices or "daftars" which have been serving the public , as they would like us to believe.

Ladies later.Men first.The men behind the rotting files on the shaky tables chew paan with open mouths, smoke cigarettes , drink tea / coffee endlessly , and some even bring in their radios and listen to altaf raja songs at the office. The men are mostly middle aged and have their hair dyed jet black with some locally made dye like " kala jadoo" or “black diamond” or something. They generally have yellow teeth because of their tobacco eating exploits .And mostly commute using shaky scooters or public buses.

They get this delightful gleeful twinkle in their eyes whenever some female walks into the office. Yeah. They are just so frustrated of their equally frustrated wives that any female would do for them . Even the sweepress is good enough for an occasional flirting session. The men of the office jostle to attend to the female while the male visitors are subjected to that “why-don’t-u-die-rite-now “ look and told to wait.

One of the major sources of "job satisfaction" for these lazybums is to harass some educated guy and thus grab the "see-my-power-u-mr.educated ?" category satisfaction.

The women gracing these government offices are more irritating than kareena kapoor in "Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham".These 40-50 year olds blotch their lips with colors as gaudy as daler mehndi's turban's. Their big drooping bellies complete with their stretch marks peep out and they generally tend to have huge waistlines due to the sedentary nature of their jobs , made all the more sedentary due to their own sedentary nature.

The handbag is the integral part of the armory of such women and they like to carry an umbrella to help them protect their imagined fair complexion from the sun. They feel that wearing sleeveless blouses makes them look as irresistible as Julia Roberts , if not more.They have this affinity to improve efficiency by multitasking office work with chores like slicing ladyfinger, potatoes, kheeras and other vegetables.The winters favorite is knitting half sleeved brown sweaters for their grumpy husbands. The “challenges” at the job include proving “my bittoo/raju/pinky/whatever is so smart ...he can dance all those hrithik’s moves ” .

Another feature which marks winter time is the wide availability of oranges and peanuts. And these eatables leave off their legacy in the form of orange skins and peanut shells which can then be found sprinkled liberally all over the office till the gang of sweepers decides to take a break from playing cards and move off their bony asses.

I have developed such a harsh and venomous opinion of these great institutions based on my experiences at my school office ,the bus pass office , the college administrative office , the driving licence office , the colony telephone exchange and the colony electricity department complaint cell to name a few ,triggered off by another of desk hopping sessions at one of these damn offices recently.

I know that some good men and women work at these temples of inefficiency too .I do feel for them .But then forgive my narrow mindedness, I just hate these places.

Friday, December 24, 2004

Whatz MY "success" ?

ive been thinking lately.thinking about the concept of success.Am I on the right track ? will I be a success ? Am I moving towards that stage when I will be called a "successful" man ?

Actually this was sparked about a little discussion that happenned with a friend of mine during the class yesterday.We were flipping through the latest businesstoday edition when we chanced upon the pictures of a classmate of us who recently won the BT acumen debate .congrats to him.

n my friend dint seem to be very impressed while I was like "hey look ! thats our classmate in the snap !" i remarked that this guy wud be a "success" one day.That this guy was better than me ,infact than most of the guys in the class.

So my friend says " how can u say that he is "better" ?n i reply "because the society thinks so-the society rewards him not me, felicitates him not me".

and my buddy retorts-"If u let society define success for u , u wont find ur own success."

wait . isnt there like a common definition of success which has been laid down by society and all of us will be termed successful when we meet the parameters laid down there ? we dont have our own concept of success at all.I want an easy life , but i will be successful if im working my ass off at some I bank in new york.wait,this doessnt make sense.I will be "successful" as per society even though im doing something i dont want to.nah,this is wierd.I wanna spend time with my family , but ill b successful when im at a job where i work day in n day out in a different country.this wont are working crazy to crack CAT bcos its been told to em that they will be successful only if they get into IIMs.a collective common defintion of success has been fed into their brains.

so whats the way out ? looks like I need my own concept of "success".which will have things which I want.not what the society deems necessary for me to have.yea,this sounds right.we all need our own definitions of success.u may need to crack CAT to be a success , n u may all depends on what "success" is for u.

n yea, a merry christmas to all ! may this season bring ...(all thats printed on those greeting cards ;))

On the Jukebox :"Jab Tum Yaad Aye "- Alka Yagnik

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


i feel like somebody just used a "time catapult" to throw me back in time. all those mock CATS.the analysis.the timing strategies.what makes me more assured about me being a nut is that i had exactly "37" minutes alloted to DI.the ranks.the time AIMCATS.i cant recall my TIME AIMCAT reg was like somethin starting with GR or sometthin which stood for gurgaon.and i liked the receptionist at the TIME centre .yeah,she was sweet.her smile was.The career launcher receptionist wasnt good, she was fat and smudged her lips with thick red lipstick and i dint like the way she looked at my legs.u took that seriously.

And it aint that im in the terminal stages of blood cancer to revel in old memories and feel "thrown back in time".what brought about this cerebral flight is the decleartion of CAT scores some 5 hours back.the same stuff happens again.heartbreaks.celebrations.whoops.sobs.grins.breakdowns.high fives.But the important thing is to decide upon the future.if u want an IIM hard enuf and missed out this time , u deserve a next chance,dont be afraid and give it ur best shot the next year.maybe its easy for me to say that.i dont know.

But if any of you deem me capable of any help regarding CAT and the GD/PI ,dont hesitate to get me on the yahoo messenger at abhi844 or mail me at
But mind you, my devastating ideas have ...well, devastated a lot.

And ive noticed there are a lot of lovely blogs around,i think a lil blogroll revision wont kill anyone.

So if u think that u will like ur blog to be added to my lil list here on the sidebar,please leave a little request comment to this post along with the blog url and send me a thousand dollar cheque and a sexy blonde girl. n I will be glad if u link to my blog from yours.

Ok,lest u start writing the cheque , make it simple,just cut out the cheque and the babe.infact,i was jolted into action to do this by Ravi Handa's blogroll revision.

I think ill watch "love actually" the movie now.3 in the morning is the perfect time to commit such an act.

On the Jukebox : BACK TO UR HEART - Backstreet Boyz

Monday, December 20, 2004

all right , back to work i go

so the "pit stop" is about to end.the fueltanks have been refilled.the tyres have been changed.ive got a new helmet.its anotherlap.another term here at IIM calcutta.the classes start tomorrow for a fresh and glistening term 3.

n the weekend that was a very pleasant one.i slept and ate and watched was the kinda weekend wen u have the liberty to lose the sense of watch back to back movies.u dont need to shave.or to take a bath.u can get up at 1 in the afternoon and the only troubling question facing u is which is the next movie u gonna watch.

So the movie which brought down the curtains on this lovely weekend was "KAL HO NA HO".i hadnt watched it earlier.its ok,be shocked.and i cried watching it.infact, i cried more than i had watching ne movie.yea, im a 23 year old guy n i cried.n i think that real men do cry.why do they need to keep their feeling bottled dont tell me guys dont feel as sad as girls.i felt sad and i believe my male hormones are working all right.atleast i hope they are.
and as is customary at the start of nething, lemme think what should be my targets this term.the CG thing goes without saying.ill study regularly.yea,u gotta watch this,ill do it,rite from the first day.and ill keep my room looks like a hurricane tore through it rite now.the only things in place are the walls.anything they hold between themselves is so disorganised,including me.yea,that reminds me,i need to organise myself.and i need to think about my future.before deciding wat kinda gal i wanna marry and the no of kids i wanna have,i need to decide upon the more immediate issue-the MBA subjects i wanna specialise in.i came here with an inclination towards marketing but god decided to grant me a summers in finance so am as confused as george bush wud be in an english grammar class.n i need to be more considerate when im talking to my parents.they call me up and im doing this assignment and i kinda rush through the conversation without much attention.i feel guilty doing such things.ill call them up more often and be more nice talking to them.
So thats about it.hope the term turns out to be fun.bcos at the end of the day,thats wat life is
supposed to be , it gotta be fun.atleast mine gotta be .

On the jukebox : EVERYBODY - Backstreet Boys

Saturday, December 18, 2004

a lovely day , and im in it

i just love it.the feeling.when the eyes dont feel heavy.the head doesnt feel heavy.when the mind feels as a spring garden .fresh n rosy.the feeling u get seeing a vast countryside field with the windmill and the cows and the cool breeze.thats what happens after 10 hours of non stop sleep.with no deadlines to assignments to alarms to shock.when u wake up at 10 in the morning, n dont think -"fuck ! i missed the class again ".instead , u smile knowingly to urself,and pull up the sheets to ur ears.ok, i know im making sleep look as precious as jennifer lopez' bottom.but 6 months at an IIM , n im ready to swap 10 hours of sleep with that.maybe.
n i did see SAW yesterday.

not the "see saw" fought over to sit on by 5 year olds during lunch breaks at the playgrounds.i mean i saw the movie "SAW" yesterday.was a bad decision.the movie wasnt bad.dont crucify me now.but u gotta have a frame of mind to watch a frame of mind was like - " 5 days of exams n 14 hours of sleep over these 5 days".so i shud have watched a movie that wudnt have demended an ounce of my battered n bruised cerebral contents.mebbe a jim carrey thhing.but i watched was a movie which was blood , blown up bodies,shreds of flesh,more blood,psycopaths,guns,and more blood.n i being a person who feels dizzy at the sight of blood in real life ( yeah , thats true, n my parents are doctors) , had to look away from the screen at i gotta watch some bubbly movie now to make up fr this blunder of mine.wait , ill send out a request over the LAN network rite now.yea.done.

n ive been reading blogs.its cool.just looking at the way different people have diferent lives n different ways of thinking.some are grumbling, some are excited,some ae sad,some are funny.iim students.bored housewives.teenage programmers.CAT freaks.IIT geeks.sometimes it feels a waste of time reading all this but it kinda puts my own life in perspective , just to realise that there are so many people and viewpoints out there, n im just one of them.helps one break free of the "im-the-centre-of-world" viewpoint.
CAT results are gonna be out soon.wish all the aspirants a lot of happiness and sure fels good when i got that sms from my dad - "C,L,I,K confirmed....CONGRATS munnu".incase u wondering why I recieved the sms directed to this "munnu" guy,thats my nick within my family circle.

guess what ! i just downloded "padosan" from the LAN .the kishore kumar,mehmood this is gonna be FUN. yea.lemme grab my bag of chips n the coke n the popcorn n turn off the lights now.
tada fr now pals...its showTime !

Friday, December 17, 2004

the "normal life" weekend

the exams are behind me and two days of sleeping+movies+table tennis+music+reading blogs await me.i dont think i did too well or too bad.n neways,due to the end-of-exams euphoria ,nebody wud feel like pretty lemme feel exam talk.
a lot of guys are leaving for their homes today.n the rest are loading up their comps wid movies n games to chill out over the weekend.we got this message broadcasting tool here on our comps so neone can send out a message to the entire network im seeing a lotta messages rite now which look now - " ne jim carrey movie wid someone";"musafir CD 2 ?";"ne comedy out there ".the girls are asking for "bridget jones diary 2 ". even im downloading SAW now.ive heard its a lil too complicated.n i dint sleep at last night so dont know if its a good idea to test my comprehension skills on this movie.
u know , at times like these ,wen the exams have just got over, u see the real kid in these IIM students.its like someone has pushed up a cage's door and all birds are flying out to freedom.sometimes i feel scared n feel we guys are like machines out there to grab marks and wud kill happily for the grades.but then u see that these are normal kids all right just trying to work its nice.u feel like ur back to a normal life for this weekend , not an IIM life.
mebbe ill go out tonight.though i know i shud catch up on sleep. but the gangs are planning to move out tonight , so will havta go with the majority.therz some talk about watching "Swades".been a long time since i watched a SRK flick.
one thing i did wrong these exams was trying to study in bed.thot a comfortable body leads to a better frame of mind.but trying not to sleep and study while in bed at 3 in the morning is like turning away ashwarya rai when she wants to kiss it was a kinda sticky position to be in.i think im obsessed with ashwarya rai.but who wudnt.can neone be more delicate,more pristine,more elegant,more pure,more beautiful.shez like the definition of beauty.
im feeling sleepy now.the SAW is almost copied.let me see if i can undertand it right now.or else, ill catch up with ashwarya in my dreams.not bad.

Monday, December 13, 2004

exams ? tell me sumthing new.

here they are.all the 6 of them like dangling targets to be shot down.the end terms for term 2 roll off tommorrow.ive faced so many exams over my education,it no longer excites me.of course , CAT did.n IIT JEE did.the resta have been rather "routine".

n it is the most "global" subject to cut the ethics.its about why we shud not cheat n its the kind of subject where one can write a lot of crap.n the professor may just like that.i suspect girls will tend to get higher marks fact , girls do have an advantage here at a b not debating this.its an accepted fact.the placement figures support that.n its natural.a bank wud prefer a pretty lass over me to meet their old n frustrated clients .in fact, even a not-so-pretty lass wud do.

i just recalled a snippet from the last ethics class:

the professor had orgnised a last class fr the term at 8 in the the class had a lot of hungry and sleepy souls.the class gets over at 9:30.the professor lets out a contended sigh.he expects that it has beeen a life changing experience for us.n that the sole aim of our lives is to follow "business ethics" on this planet.
so in keeping with the above thoughts , he looks around the class and asks in a deliberate ,slow voice:
"so as students of a premium b skool,what do you plan to do now after studying all this ?"
n one guy replies-" breakfast".

neways,i dont have much to study for this tonight,ive kinda covered the stuff.mebbe ill search fr sum more stuff on the net.but im feeling a lil drowsy after the aloo parantha n veg sandwiches i had half n hour bak.nah, i am not a lazy couch potato to eat all this , i had to eat that since i skipped dinner.

wish me luck pals.

listening to - Oh CArol !

Thursday, December 09, 2004

wherez the cold ?

most prolly uve heard this song b4.neways , herz the lyrics:

pretty practical and simple things.yet so rarely followed.we guys tend to forget the things dat r the most basic."respect ur elders".heard it a zillion times.simple words.yet so seldom practiced.there r so many intricate n complex stuff in life dat these lil basics of life have been pushed to some dark corner of the brain attic.

air tickets have been booked fr the 5th of coming home again fr 5 days.that will be great.winters are good at gurgaon.sitting in the warm sunlight.munching on peanuts.sucking on orange slices.the morning cold which makes the ears go red.n the nose too.wearing woolen socks.the mufflers.the room heaters.the blinding fog.the frost on the windshields i stratch shapes in.those heavy the mood lifts wen the sun comes out.thats real winter.n thats missing the north indian winter.winter here is letdown to the concept of winters.its hardly cold.infact,its kinda warm.this is no winter.i really miss feeling cold.therez nuthin better than reading comics wrapped cozily in a quilt.

oh, i wanna be home now.hey "5th of Jan",cant u come around in december this time around ?

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

cant slow down !

man , that was the precise feeling to depict the day i had .slept at 6 in the morning as i was wurkin on that report abt the telecom sector. dragged myself out of bed at 8:30.grabbed breakfast and got to the cost accounting class at 9.45. decided to complete the report by bunking the next hour into the class , i get a call frm the guy supposed to sign for me sayin there were too few people in the class to safely do so. With my attendance already being on the brink , i am forced to play the brat who walks in the class more than an hour late ! n guess wat,the subject was "ethics".the prof turned out to be an angel and ignored this.god bless him.tried to pick up some cost accounting in that class .had a quiz at 5.30 in the evening , u see. but the angelic prof decided to bring in a lil of satan and forgot the concept of time while teaching.that left me with just half an hour for lunch.that included the trip to the hostel n back.n suddenly i remember the telecom report.worked upon it during the break n dint bother my digestive system.rushed to the next class.was relatively cool.i dozed a lil sitting at the back.zoom to the end of to my room n wrapped the report.emailed it.grabbed my calculator and rushed to the quiz hall. tried to get something over the next half n hour. trudged back to my room.took a bath,had dinner and grappling with accounting numericals since then.

i feel i need to get a grip on my life.been kinda drifting of my engineering still not clear abt the specialisation i wanna go in.u know , CAT is said to be the tuffest exam around n with so many guys working their asses off to crack it, i feel lucky to be here at IIM . n not doing my best here makes me feel kinda guilty .So thinz will be changing a lil now.i need to get a grip on my life .yea.

About the heartbreak, i feel fine now .mebbe it was just infatuation.but tnx fr the consolations.i think ill do just fine without a gal around fr sum time to come :)

Sunday, December 05, 2004

end of it

hi.i need to write this down.i need to get this outta my system .I need to move on.This is too personal a thing but then i wont get killed for letting it out here.The girl whoz been in the mention over the last coupla posts has pushed me off the cliff of my over the last 2 days caused an almost direct offer(the placement lingo wont leave me ?) from my side and she rejected me.straight.atleast thats the good dilly dallying. im not her type.shez not my type.and now i feel so stupid doing such a thing when my parents have sent me here to sorry folx.thank god it got over.ive been popular and cool with the gang of guys and now plan to have it for the resta of my time here at IIM C.people who know me would find this post wierd.tell u wat, it was wierd.but im not drinking or searching for poison or planning to lie on the rail tracks tonite ! sorry devdas , but im not a believer in ur philosophy.end of, here i come.

Friday, December 03, 2004

stats and glitches

the wonders of technology again caught up with me with the comments section of blog throwing up some tantrums.and being a computer engineer who freezes at the mention of ne word containing even sounding like coding , i dint wanna mess around with the html codes the blogspot guys wanted me to i chose the "no tension" option of pulling up an entirely different template. and thanx to rohit for pointing out the snag.

the site provides me the hit counter also provides a list of the terms which have led unsuspecting and innocent souls to stumble upon my it is:


wat else, the damn exams will be here in nother 10 days. im downloading the movie "garfield " from the LAN as i type this.i plan to study riskman tonite.mebbe will catch the movie during the short breaks i plan to have.i swear,will keep em short!;).

song-"It wasn't me -SHAGGY"

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

chill !!! no suicide for me.

heyyy ! the last post sure created sum concern around this place .guess that was a post resulting outta lack of sleep and watching too many movies.Let me say that I am pretty much Ok, i think this world is a beutiful place and i am lucky to be having a good life and I am not contempleting suicide or anything remotely connected to that.
Another of those exams are looming with them starting frm 13th Dec.Ive scored relatively better marks in the mid terms this time and can score a pretty decent grade provided I do my stuff over the end terms.No other restraints to hold me back n i hope that I do well this time.Lifez has been good over these last few days.The drams thing went off coolly , i got a good summers , n got that at delhi (mommy !im coming home),and mid term scores are not that bad.Spent a lot of time checking out blogs after getting free from the summers placement and it sure was fun checking out the different lives going around.
neways, I gotta get up now and catch sum grub at the up just half n hour b4 the class in the morning and had to miss breakfast . wait a minute , watz this growling tummy !!! mess walon , here i come !!!!

song : "sohniye" ---donno whoz sung this one !!!!

Monday, November 29, 2004

when the times are hard....

The world is a sea of pretentions.Fools pretend to be intelligent , cheats pretend to be honest , foes pretend to be friends, and all of us go through such stress trying to be what we are not.We are so mindful of what others think of us.We fear hate and rejection.

But what i have learnt so far is that trying to please others is like trying to move a mountain.there are very few people who are really happy with one's success.Whenver I have achieved something , with the exception of my family and a few close friends ,I doubt people have really felt happy for me . Hence I have acquired this care-a-damn attitude about what others think of me.I hate to pretend and always try to be my own self.Its difficult but once you acquire this ,it can be the most comforting and liberating attitude to have.I am still pretty popular because I am a kinda fun character to be with.But I doubt how many of them will be around when bad times come upon me.

Its easy to be the centre of attraction at the hostel mess table ,cracking jokes and sharp ,witty one liners .What is difficult , is to find a person to talk to when you dont have any joke to crack.Its easy to gather "friends" for the party a class topper throws , what is difficult is to find a friend who will listen and comfort you when you fail the exam.Its easy to find people for company for a stroll in the garden , what is difficult is to find a friend to accompany you during a hard trip under a burning sun.And I realise that there will be times in my life when there will be ill have to make this hard trip,when i will have no wit to entertain nebody,when i would have failed.It is in these times when a true friend is needed.And for this true friend , i would not need to pretend.The friend would not need me to be someone he /she desires,but would accept me for what I am.Who would like me not for being at an IIM , not because I have a good job,not because I am a "so called" academic achiever but would like me for what I am , and not for what I have done or not done.It is so very difficult to find such a person , but to find him / her , you dont need to pretend to be someone else,but to just be urself.

I know the above crap would not make much of sense ,and is nothing new , but just wanted to write it down , just wanted to express how phony this world can sometimes be.

song : main nashe me hoon -jagjit singh

Saturday, November 27, 2004

please be scared !

Last night , at around midnight , i bolted my room's door from the inside,drew the curtains,switched off the lights and sat down to watch "Vaastushastra".It had been a long time since I had watched a horror flick and hoped that my blood would freeze and my spine would chill and I wud almost get a heart attack.

But after watching it , I would say that If u got scared by this one, even mother teresa would have managed to scare you.Some highlights :

1.Therez this particular tree which seemingly harbours ghosts.Every time the camera focused onto it,there was this "growling " sound.It was like the sound a hungry tummy would make upon thinking of hot aloo paranthas with butter.

2.They should have distributed night vision goggles along with the CD. There were all kinds of elegant chandeliers and lamps all over the house but it looked like the electricity board forgot to lay down the cables.So the people chose to roam around in absolute darkness for half of the movie.The director must have had a tuff time directing people he cud hardly see.

3.The ghosts looked like house painters who had accidentaly splaterred cans of white paint over themselves.The only diffrence between ghosts and non ghosts was that of colour. Ram gopal verma saved some real cash here.Just a coat of white paint and lo,here is our scary scary ghost !

4.Even sushmita sen dint look hot to me this time.She anyways spent half the film roaming around asking "who is there ?".

The best part was when the credits rolled at the end.

Friday, November 26, 2004

bunking classes , brat !

see, i know that a lot of people see an IIM as the ultimate temple of learning and it is as great a sin as kicking pope in the ass to bunk a class here.But i cudnt really help it after a night out yesterday.So here I am ,carelessly tapping the keyboard , while another of those learned souls is showering the pristine gyan on sleepy students.the subject I have bunked is" Data Processing".Its a very computers related subject and being a computer engineer,i considered it my birthright to score well in it.That was till the mid sems.My scores in it suggest that my paper was written by laloo prasad yadav,instead of me.neways,I was delving on the bunking.The professor is really cool who has been kind enuf to allow students to sleep given the absecnce of snoring.And the probability of ashwarya marrying salman khan is more than his doing a headcount after attendance .So I have asked one of my pals to put in my proxy.

Now,why the night out yesterday ? naaw,not another of those back breaking workload but our play directors took the cast out to dinner ! we had a lot of fun and chatted away to 6 in the morning after dinner.pretty cool.

The summers have been great and I am awaiting for official claearance b4 I post some details.meanwhile,u can catch up on the details of IIM B summers here :

chalo yaar,I am still human enuf to attend the next class ,its marketing management and I am to read some stuff about goodyear tyres as a preparation for that.So signing off now!

song : Blue -All Rise

Thursday, November 25, 2004

chill life

just woken up.the breakfast starts in nother 30 mins so just doing some random browsing right now ranging from "" to "".slept early last night after watching "Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam".the movie was released a gud 7-8 years bak but had missed this one.was a real romantic one and surprisingly ,i actually liked it and even got emotionally moved in a couple of scenes.I think ill have to visit a company today fr a BS project.My group members are planning to visit ITC.What we will do is get to the company,try to get in and grab a couple of lazy and jobless blokes in there and ask them sum amazingly stupid questions like " Who is a leader " and submit their answers as a report.

between,read this story about this real gutsy guy:

its so hard to hear one's own inner voice in this world bustling with noise but this guy managed to hear it n follow it. kudos.

song- "jhonka hawa ka.....(HDDCS)"

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

thank you god

these are the two most relaxed days im havin in a looong time.that bcos i was placed in slot 1 at summers in "Ernst and Young" and hence no load during the slot 2 which extends fr another 2 days.but u need to see the thing to believe the huge logistics this thing demands with so many comapnies converging on the campus.its really great of the placereps to manage such a huge process.but i am satisfied even though i was kicked outta slot 0 since iu got into one of the better companies of slot 1.thanx to god for that.went out last night to celebrate that at a kinda upmarket restuarant at park street .park street is the only place here which resembles a metro thing with the reamaining city more about fish n shaky chawls.

so nuthin much to do these two days.gotta straighetn my room.the drams thing immediately followed by this summers thing really zapped a lot outta me.but im happy that all those ardous form fillings ended up with something.n therez a gud chance that ill b placed in that allows me a great opportunity to be at home during summers.the CAt this time around was a lil diffrent n i guess the guys r as tensed abt the results as ever.i think ill visit the blogs of sum of the aspirants i am following to find out more.

song-hoshwalon ko khabar kya...(jagjit singh)

Saturday, November 20, 2004

ill be back

hey folx.i know.been along time now .in fact,this is so long,i almost forgot my blogspot password and spent half an hour guessing it. but im not gonna leave this thing.just gimme a week more n ill be back .the summers start tommorrow.ive got a slot 0 interview and gotta read up so much stuff about i banking n was quite a shock that an i bank shortlisted me .cant disclose much u see,with all the b schools running their summer placements.all i can say is that i am excited,scared,hopeful etc etc all rolled into one.just hope that this turns out to be fun.

n all the best to all ye guys n gals takin CAT they say here at IIM C -"put crack !!".

Thursday, November 04, 2004

sane again

hi in the midst of the exam week.4 down,3 to Social science tommorrow.its pretty boring,so i keep gettin distracted by things like checking emails,the online notice board,changing the song.on the top of that,i slept 5 hours staright after the exam up at 8 in the night.the dinner was so crappy...all that ghobi and sad rotis.went up to the departmental store guy at the hostel to check out my account,and was shocked to find its already more than 600 bucks in a very short time.i think i shud study economics harder.since then,been trying to study this social thing.thinz aint moving too fast but then since im game for a night out,the syllabus wont be a problem hopefully.exams hav been going off pretty tolerably,considering that i was pretty scared since the drams thing had eaten up a lot of my time.chalo guys,back to the books.till i decide to change the song again.

current song- "Breaking My Heart" (MLTR)

Sunday, October 31, 2004

watz the deadline ?

My taskbar shows it to be 5:21 am.ive just spent two hours completing a summers application form .We guys r not allowed to disclose much info abt summers on public forums.if any of the placereps catches me doing such a thing,u may see me preparing for CAT next year.who knows,i may get into IIM-A but for the time being,im avoiding such misadventures.

neways,the point i am trying to make is that life is getting to be so pushing here.u may think-this nut is just trying to show off but im not.infact,i am genuinely disgusted.believe it or not,sometimes i really feel scared and sick thinking that the rest of my life may be so fast and demanding as this.maybe i am a wrong kinda guy for this kinda life.I havent slept more than 10 hours over the last 4 days as weve got our exams frm tommorrow,a hell lotta forms asking all that global shit and some crucifyingly boring PPTs lined up where some ass in a suit tells us that his company is the No.1 and the best is an unending sequence of soon as i catch up with a deadline,the next one starts threatening me.

I think the only thing which is helping me survive is HUMOR.I just cant afford to take myself too seriously or the entire situtaion will just eat me up.we IIm guys r supposed to be having the best of careers but for now,i am just plain zapped n sure understand why someguys drop outta IIMs.

im sorry if this post goes to discourage ne aspirants...i guess its just the combination of so many thing happening so fast thats caused this kinda disgust ....but im sure u guys wont find thinz so bad once u get here.maybe even i wont find them so bad once i grab 8 hours of sleep.but how the hell do i find those 8 hours !!!!!

Monday, October 25, 2004

watz this Orkut thing ?

one of my pals sent me an invitation to join orkut( heard about this being some sort of online community.accepted the invitation n so i am part of this community now.still to work around the site to develop an idea of the stuff going around,i am known as "Abhinav Jain" over there so if nebody wants to include me,im game.these guys wanted a pic of mine fr the profile,i had got none on the comp,atleast not with a "presentable" expression,so i picked out jim carrey's pic frm Dumb n dumber.i guess thats presentable enuf.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

return of the ....whatver.....

im back.recharged n rejuvenated n revitalised.err,this looks like a pharmacy clinic ad.neways,ive had the time to pause n see the direction im going in n the one i shud go in.n they r quite ive decided to do a lot of things differently frm now on.n i better do them fast fr the next month or so is gonna be a super sonic mid terms start on the 1st,the play on 14th n the summers start frm 21st.

thankfully,ive managed to straighten up my room after i landed here at about 10 in the morning.but the mess wont start b4 tomm, so im facing a lil nutritional crunch rite now.neways,the stuff i got frm home is coming in handy.wait,i just remembered that one of the things i decided to do differently is to spend lesser time on things not causing an increase in my academic performance.n i think blogging wont lead to ne kinda increase in my CG under any the shutters r gonna be pulled down on this post.but ill b back with a lot more on what i did,read,watched n most importantly "thought" during the hols. ya.u read that right.i actually THOUGHT a lot.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

going to ibiza...err...gurgaon

ever heard of a thing called LBG ? the phrase stands fr Little Green Bastard n refers to an insect a specimen of which just flew straight into my hair.dont know if this happens every year,but as soon as the sun goes down,hundreds of these damn things enter every room.they r on the PC,on the bedsheet,the books,n on me.n the name describes what they look like.the bastard part is just a result of their annoying presence,i guess.

i just came in back frm the dramatics rehearsel.we had our first full play run thru n being a firm believer in honesty,ill have to say it was
pretty shaky.we forgot dialouges,locations,girls giggled on stage when they forget dialouges.about me,the directors described my walk as a "stroll in the park" when it shud hav been nethin but that.but the play part gotta wait now,ive got to wrap up stuff b4 i fly away to gurgaon.
ive gotta return the library book,meet up the prof whoze got attendance issues with me,pay up all bills,gather up all clothes,arrange fr the taxi.must be more tasks.

n i hope to study n catch up with the stuff going on in the class during holidays,being polite n good with my family,watch TV,eat fried food every day,lie on the floor,n catch up with the engg college guys stayin around.

dont know if there will b another entry before the 24th.if there will be,ur lucky.if not, ill be back.

14th Oct.7.00 am.IA flight.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

coming home.....

i wanna go home.n so i am on thursday morning. a 2 hr flight n i'll be the same again fr another 10 just tired of all this-the grades,the presentations,the library,the summers,resume making,placereps,the competition.i just wanna go home.with no one to compare me against nebody.....

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

random thoughts

things are a lil dizzy these days.the dramatics rehearsel stretches upto 4-6 hours on an average day and on the top of that i gotta mug up all my dialogues,take care of the emotions and tones and remember when to speak them and to whom.and then i havent really started with the studies part.this drams thing is turning out to be much more tuff than i imagined but then its a moral responsibilty of mine to carry the play forward.n i might as well enjoy it while i am at it.the staging would happen in november during our annual alumni party.

and ill be leaving for home on the 14th.its really wonderful to imagine seeing my parents after all these days of hearing just their voices on the phone.between,believe it or not,i again missed my first class today due to oversleeping.the atmo gettin to hot up with the summers placement startin in november.we gotta submit all these resumes and certificates and all that crap reminding me of the IIm GDPIs.

One thing i hate about this place is the concept of relative grading.its not about me gettin lower or better marks than nebody else but the sheer feelings this devil of RG generates is sickening.though i dont quite think that many of us succumb to it,but just to think of ur pals as ur competitors who may just hurt ur job,ur grades,ur career is nauseating.seriously,RG sucks !

Monday, September 27, 2004

the race continues

im back frm the XL-IIMC sports meet.we lost miserably,but this disloyal student doesnt care.i was there to have fun, n fun i had.with my sporting skills being not exactly good,its implicit that i was there as a so called "cheerleader".but i wasnt dancing around in a miniskirt every time IIM-C scored a point.the bus trip was real fun with sum 3-4 guys includin me getting real raucous to the extent that there was a genuine threat by some distressed people to throw us out.thank god,for basic human kindness.

neways,lifez bak on the race track now n it looks like there is a lack of pit stops this term.the drams practice runs fr an average of 3 hrs daily after college hours n this can only get longer.i also got grades fr 2 subjects of term-1,theyr like A min and B.speaking in understandable terms,its like an average show but the good thing is that ive dun reasonablly well in the end terms.but the mid term sins a catch up to drive down the overall grade.gotta study hard this term round.

Monday, September 20, 2004

a brand new term

i suggest u never watch a movie from 2-4 in the morning.besides the unearthly hours associated,it makes u sleep till 12.30 in the afternoon n miss the FIRST class of a brand new term.thats wat happenned to me.the movie was great -"life is beautiful".if u havent watched that one,uve missed something.absolutely moving tale of a loving man n his family who r taken to a concentration camp during the world war.neways,the movie was superb but its after effects were me missing the first "cost accounting" class.

n thus the term 2 started.weve got 7 subjects this time.i plan to study regularly.i intended to do the same thing 8 times during my 8 sememsters of engineering.lets not talk abt the implementation part.n yea,we r goin to XLRI during this weekend for the annual IIM C-XLRI sports meet.its like an ind-pak match for us.most of the guys,including me are going there as the "cheering" contingent.u know the way 22 year old males who are drunk "cheer",rite?

another of those rankings came out.its outlook this time,we r ranked second here.although that sparked some celebration here,i am still of the same opinion that these dont matter.infact,i pointed out to some guys here,wen we were fourth in the BW poll,they trashed the ranking concept,but are endorsing it when we are placed second!!

the summers will start on 21st nov n i gotta work up some serious stuff abt them.we also got a dramatics play slated for mid november.the auditions for that happenned on saturday nite till 2.30 am.being a drams club member, i came back to my room after that n watched "chupke chupke"(the AB-Dharmendra comedy) till abt 5 in the morning.that just reminds me to warn u again,dont ever watch a flick at such wierd hours.makes u miss the first class the next day.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

waiting for tommorrow

so the last day of my first term at IIM Calcutta is about to arrive some 50 minutes from a subject called "environment and development" exam tommorrow.basically,we had to choose an elective outta 3 and i gleefully opted for this subject after assurances from the seniors about it being too comfortable and absolutely useless.i recall hearing things about stuff like sanitation in sikkim,sulabh toilets,garbage in the rivers and dung cakes in its u an idea about the "value-add" i had during this course.newways,the bubble bursts tomm at 12.30 n ill be launching on a movie spree this weekend.before the fun starts again from monday in the form of term 2.

the exams went off satisfactorily this time around and i think my hours at the library may save me the pain of avoiding people just after the results are declared.

i think i should study now.back to the dung cakes.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

enter the library

they r here again.the exams.the end terms start frm 13th n will end on 17th.after my below average performance in the midterms,i gotta save my ass now.been studying okish.

another thing im tryin out is studying at the library.the library here is the biggest in ASIA.or something like not sure,though.thats amazing to hear with so many countries n libraries that must be in asia.but it doesnt look so huge when u see it frm the outside,though the no books in there is awesome.spend some time in there n u see all kinda characters.

the classical scholars with their thick glasses who look up from the book to glare at the guy whoz been disturbingly tapping his pen on the table.they fervently underline useless things and smile knowingly on getting a funda clear.they get to the library as soon as the limited human capabilities allow them to and generally its the security guard who has to ask them to leave when the library shuts down at 1 in the night.

the guys who r there in the hope that just being at the library b4 the exams wud improve their marks.they get up frequently to drink water,look around to see if any girls r around,or just smoke a ciggy on the library's rooftop.n they leave when its snack time at the hostel mess.they can have a real good time if they manage to find another of the same category.

then the guys who r trying too hard prevent falling asleep.they want to get the darned stuff in the book but they r feelin to sleepy to make ne sense of it.but the very thought of sleeping in this temple of learning called the library leaves them agonizingly suspended in this half-awake-half-sleeping state .

n there are some who are actually sleeping open mouthed with their heads on the books.passing ppl giggle at them and the library staff wakes them up to cut short the fun.

now,its not that ive only been observing others while being there,ive also put in some studying hours.hope my visits to the library help my scores.

stoppin here,gotta make a cash flow statement.hmmm.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

hey god,i dont want too much

its been like this all the way through.

just work hard for another x no of days/months/years and then ur life will be a lot better,I AM ard during 10th boards,ull get a stream of ur choice, n life is hard during 12th boards, n ull get into a good college n ur life will be better hard fr CAt,bcos if u manage to get into an IIM ,ur life will be gloriously better than ever.

this is what i was told,or rather i imagined them to be true.

but today when i am lounging here in my hostel room at IIM Calcutta,away from my parents,my home,the place which bears memories of my childhood,i pause to wonder-
is my life better,or is it just my CAREER which is better?

i admit that i suspect my career is on the right track n ill be able to feed my children two meals a day n send them to a decent english medium school.but my life is much more.more than just career.

maybe im not ambitious.i dont know if this is a normal thing but i am happier eating dal-chawal sitting on the floor at my home rather than having lunch at the Taj with Vice president of a multinational .i feel happier sitting on the kitchen floor chatting with mum rather than brainstorming at some plush air conditioned office.i prefer watching cricket with my dad rather than watching powerpoint presentations at a corporate meeting.
i know that i need money.everybody does.but its just an instrument to get what you want,to make ur family happy being one of them.n if u sacrifice these ultimate sources of happiness for money,well,then,i dont get the idea.its like having a pen but not having the time to write a poem.i see old couples living alone,supporting each other's frail lives while their successful children are attending meetings at the silicon is said that the best ne parent can wish for is the child's success,but i dont accept that this old mother who spent her life caring for this child,and is now left to live her life hoping that the child will remember to call her from his apartment in california,doesnt feel the hurt.

so i just hope that i am not so "successful",that i dont care for the little but real joys of life.i dont want a big car or a mansion or a job which pays me like crazy but makes me crazy with all the workload.

yea,i can do without a great CAREER , but give me a great LIFE god.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

music at 3 in the morning

the seniors here have got their vacations going till the 8th of next am the only homo sapien in my gallery of the hostel.this in turn,allows me the liberty of playing music at full blast at this unearthly(for the "normal" junta) hour.

so i am playing all kinds of C grade govinda brand numbers which are generally preferred by the rickshaw pullers of UP.some interesting titles-
"kisi disco mein jaaye"
"ankhiyon se goli maare"
"suno sasurjee".
i dont really share the tastes of our rickshaw pulling folks,but just feeling too wierd too care.
between,also put in some work abt statistics,one of our courses here.been playing nonstop while solving some 30 questions .do u think its a good idea to have some music going while studying?
the clock reads 3.22 am.the birds will start chirping in some time n the delicate glow of dawn wud appear.i think i should turn down the volume now.

Monday, August 30, 2004

watz ur rank ?

businessworld has come out with their annual B-school rankings.find it here-
IIM Calcutta has been ranked 4th n guess whoz the surprise package-MDI,gurgaon ranked third.the mandevians(slang for MDI folks) must be performing "bhangra" at being frm gurgaon,had this natural inclination towards MDI since it would have allowed me to eat "ghar ka khana",atleats on weekends.its another story that i was left waiting at waitlist 7 n never made it.
between,the survey has caused a kind of furore here at IIM-C with some mudslinging happening on our intra-campus online board.i personally feel quite indifferent to all these surveys.why cant ppl tolerate being second to nebody.this may stink of a glaring lack of ambition,but i feel that shedding a bit of ego can make life a lot more relaxed.
true,when i was prepping,i got hold of all these surveys n gazed dreamily at all those top 10 names.the accompanying pics.IIM students flashing victory signs.the proud n huge buildings.the bald i wished to be a part of it all.but diff mags came out with rankings which were as unpredictable as pakistan team's never quite inferred nethin n things remained as they were.
meanwhile,the blog has been listed at to the ppl maintaining the compilation.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004


so my blog hit counter gracefully ambled into four digits today.although i think that around 200 hits would be by urs truly,i consider it a nice lil milestone.point to note is that i put in this counter on the august 1,2004-so that makes it around 44 hits per day.not bad considering my mundane posts.thank you.

but i could have had a better ending to this "momentous" day.had a meeting(do u see a future CEO?) with my class group scheduled at 11 pm regarding some presentation about a novel(english,august) we gotta make tommorrow.had to go to another hostel for that.

so some of my affable hostelmates decide to give me company lest i feel
"bored" on my way there.How,a CCD(coffee cafe day,u nut)outlet has cropped up at IIM-C sometime earlier this month.n incidentally,it happens to be sitting between my hostel n the hostel which is my destination during this lil walk of me n my hostel these guys subject me to some heart wrenching emotional blackmail(hey,we r friends na!) which forces me to idiotically agree to pay fr their ventures at CCD.

rocking choco.caribbean colada.n some similar sounding wierd names which seem like names of some ugandan tribes.n they taste like what these tribes must be gulping in those forests.neways,the positive side is that my wallet is a lil easier to carry now.

so i reach the hostel where the meeting is slated to happen.i reach the supposed room where i find another gang in the midst of their own "meeting"(yelling,grinning,etc etc).suddenly these guys feel itchy n decide to conduct a bumping session with me as the honoured guest of their hostel.

ps-refer one of my earlier posts for the intricacies of bumping process.

one of these guys lands a particularly crooked kick n the specs in my shirt pocket fly out n lands peacefully some distance away.on closer inspection,i find that one of its lenses has come these guys leave me with a bruised rear n broken glasses.

i manage to find my group n the meeting gets over peacefully.i was tryin to push back the lens in my specs frame for a major part of the meeting.

thankfully,i am back in my room now without ne further misadventures.planning to get some accounting fundas straight b4 calling it a the way, i managed to push the lens back in the frame.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

just my luck

i am browsing pagalguy rite case ur gyan windows r still shut tight,its a mecca fr the wannabe MBAs( been a member since last december n must admit its crucial role in my gettin thru CAT.
comin back to the flashback , all those threads there abt the time aimcats n analysis n cutoffs really got me thanking god fr sparing me the misery again .now,maybe there r some of those knowledge seeking souls who enjoy preparing for CAT,but i was never one of them.

it was a burden on my chest,a demon to vanquish,a target to blast apart.some of my friends got thru,some didnt n went on to join software cos n prep requires a lot of motivation n guts to keep preparing year after year under such intense pressure n i think im lucky to get thru the fire im my first attempt.just what if the nov 23 CAT hadnt been cancelled.while the channels were going zappy with the leakage news n showed yelling parents n students ,i was secretly happy for the second chance i had got.just to imagine that i would have been doing some wierd coding at QUARK(thats a software co at chndigarh i was placed in),living in some shaky room,gettin back at 9 n studying for CAT makes me shudder.
thank gawd,i know that i am not in the best of the positions,but it could have been much worse.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

my bike(2000-2004)

my dad called me up abt 2 days back to break the bike has been sold off.i had casually remarked to him that i didnt need the bike over here.never expected it would be so fast.was a black not a big guy so ne of those big machines wud have luked like an elephant under me.was the frst vehicle i ever drove.was a gleaming,purring baby when i brought it home on september 9,2000.didnt know to drive it at that time .the learning days were stressful.

release the clutch gradually ,u jerk!!!
can somebody help me pull it up on the stand??
ok,im goin at 40 kms/hr,so do i get into the second gear now??

the first ride to parents looked like they were sending me off to the indo-pak border.the time when i fought at home n rode it to college in pelting nose was frozen by the time i reached college.n when i drove it into the mound of sand by the roadside while tryin to avoid that toothy urchin .the accelerator wire n one of the indicator lights broke.but i saved the kid.

the lift seekers at the brijwasan crossing.old men with their drooping bellies sticking out their bony arms.i feel guilty abt not obliging many of them.

middle aged women with thick arms,thick red lipstick,smiling stupidly trying to woo motorists with their imagined sensuality.retired guys generally stopped for em.

doods in their tight t-shirts n gelled was fun cutting them off.see u loser,i got a bike!!!he he.

n then the college going girls.sleeveless tops.sunglasses.colourful handbags.they generally stood a lil way off in the shade.i invariably slowed down as i passed lucky a couple of times.

i hope ive been a good master to the poor thing.never drove it too fast.accidents..a couple of them,but no major ones,those that require the insurance the later stages,i cleaned it too infrequently but it looked kinda rugged with all that dirt.just hope that the next guy treats it kindly.

Monday, August 16, 2004

media player n the bed

these r the two thinz that made up my life over the last two days.the frustration of all the exams had to be vented .n was it vented!!i watched 5 movies over the weekend and slept fr a total of 22 hours besides that.wait.that amounts to a total of (22 +2.5*5)=34.5.hours out of 48 hours.n no intense,heart wrenching ,melodramatic movies for me.just lil nice light stuff which makes u feel better.wat i watched were:

1)anger management.
2)spidey 2
3)what women want.(picked up some points.gotta try them out on the girls in the class tommorrow)
4)dumb n dumber
5)jaane bhi do yaaron.

life feels so good rite now.
n yea,actually,i wanted to study too but nothin much has been done after the mid terms .so i had to curb my academic ambitions over these two days,u seeee.
n nother thing,infact a very serious one at that is that i gotta cut back on my spending now.i mean,this is it .i am not going towards the ATM fr another 15 days.the deptt store guy took away 164,xerox shop walla took away 230,the newspaper guy took away this is into serious economiziation a starter ,ive discontinued the newspaper n businessworld .figured that i can get the same stuff frm the me.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

is the image up??

just to test this image uploadin funda.between,thats my hostel.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

dont get mushy

i have to be honest.i dont have a girlfriend.maybe they didnt find me attractive enough.but what i belive is that i never tried to get one.i dont know what wud have been the consequences had i ventured towards impressing a lady but i know that whenever i think of such things,an underlying aversion for all such stupidities rears its head.i really think that all this mush talk is a serious waste of time and only serves to ruin one's world .the concept of romance only serves the empty headed bollywood directors who use it to excite all the weaklings in our society.i mean,youngsters have committed suicide over all this crap.too wierd.u gotta be strong people.atleast i have got a lot of better things to do .

found this on the net.perfect message for those who wanna be happy-

The quickest way to break your heart, make you depressed and ill,
Is to get tangled up inside; the side effects could kill.
All passion is a waste of time, a deadly game pour vous.
I am your friend, your cher ami, I wouldn't lie to you!

If you must love someone, may I suggest you love yourself!
Just think it through.
You'll never leave and you will find you'll get more rest.
You'll always feel as good as new.
Your freedom is the most important thing, my friend.
You must be strong! You mustn't bend!
Don't talk for hours, don't send flowers, don't write poems,
Don't sing songs and dance beneath the stars that shine above!
Don't fall in love!

Oh, don't do it.

As soon as your heart rules your head, your life is not your own.
It's hell when someone's always there; it's bliss to be alone!
And love of any kind is bad: a dog, a child, a cat.
They take up so much precious time! Now where's the sense in that?

Love takes the wildest heart and makes it tame.
If you're turned on, then just turn off!
Emotions are a thing all great men overcame.
Please don't make this your catastrophe!
Don't get attached to anyone or anything.
There's nothing worse than things that cling!
You'll go to pot, you'll turn to drink, you'll never rest,
You'll end up mad and looking like some poor, demented dove.
Don't fall in love!

Don't fall in love!

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

back to normality

it feels nice to sit with ur feet propped up on the chair with the rain outside n no more classes for the day n the exams just behind u.thats the priveledged state i am in right now.but i guess i deserve this.i slept for max 15 hours during the 5 days of the mid terms .n what happened during the weekend after it was somethin which is hard to explain in words .u wont get it this put it very formally,it was a kinda inter hostel competition known as WORLD WAR here. it involves a lot of adrenalin,sweat,passion,anger,teamwork.the entire campus was covered with banners n posters fr those 2 dayz .will get to the details later but all i can say is that ne IIMCian remembers the world war as fondly as nething.

n yea,suddenly im reeling under an unexpected wave of outwards cash flow( startin to get these accounting terms!!) n damaged glasses have lost their lenses,my bucket is missing,im spendin too much at the canteen,my cellphone antennae has gone missing n a haircut is long thinkin of maintaining an excel sheet,)even thought up a name for it-MONEY MATTERS) ,which shall contain the records of my daily spendings.this way i can track my spending habits.i even got a reminder software from the net(named PINK CALENDER).i feed in all the deadlines n events in it n it gives out a shrill TRRRRIINNNNGG wenever im startin to forget about im begginnin to use technology to organise me life.

on the movies front,i caught hold of "mujhse shaadi karogi".was kinda ok in the frst half but the second one was beyond my rudimentary comprehension skills.akshay was funny all right.salman tried to look funny all right.priyanka was pretty all right.the movie was just a time pass thing all right.i think ill watch nother one today,provided my memory doesnt decide to remember somthin at the wrong time.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

2 to go

3 down.2 to feels exciting to mark down the exams as I get rid of over with IPEH(indian pol eco history )in the morning.was one of the most boring subjects ive read in a long time.i mean,more boring than those "indian classical " sabhas beamed on doordarshan .got statistics tommorrow.looks reasonable considering i feel that i am comfy with probability.but with so many iitians here,i know that relaxing is just criminal.gotta start with stats now.this computer....its said this makes the world run.but for me,its ruining my is the value addition part?it has been the way during comp engg also.only some crappy turbo C/word/matlab last-minute-panicky-just working type stuff has been created on it.too bad im not the type who is delighted with the joys of making a C program.

its raining outside.looks wonderful with the lake n the ducks n the trees and the breeze at my fourth floor balcony is amazing.i think ill move to the balcony now.with the stats book in my hand,of course.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

the week ahead

so this is frst formal exam at IIM Cal is slated at 10 tomm morning.a subject called microeconomics.

should i sleep friends have been making strange noises about the mind being freshened up by a gudnite's sleep.but what use is a fresh brain when u dont have nethin in it.lets see.i think ill catch up on some stuff to do and decide later about the sleep part.i missed my dinner .couldnt bear the sight of those crappy potatoes which have come to symbolise IIM C to me.went down to the night canteen .an aloo parantha for just 6 bucks is quite tea.n then those cheese sandwiches.a couple of freinds to joke with.not a perfect scenario b4 an exam but a very pleasant one nonetheless.o yea,also a pepsi from the kotler's shop.whoa,this looks a lot yar.

and another thing which deserves mention is the bumping i got last night.this is a very dreadful process in which a guy (never seen a girl gettin this)is hauled up by some giggling beings and his ass is subjected to some real third degree interrogation style kicks by anyone who wants .maybe some kind soul decided to use his slipper instead.its basically done with birthday boyz n their wingies but the public can make an impromtu decision to do this to this anybody was mercilessly decided to be me by the hostel ppl who had gathered at the quad yesterday to celebrate anand's bday.
neways,its already 2.20 am.i guess i should do somethin better than revelling in memories right now.back to the books and notes.
wish me luck.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

life all messed up!!!

some things just dont change.the way these exams tranform my life has always been the same ever since i appeared for my frst formal exam(must hav been my class KG somewhere in 1985-86).n to date it brings along the feelings a pretty lass experiences when faced with a lusty gulshan grover.

right now,im typing from my room at the new hostel,IIM calcutta.i got up at around ,im not a late riser but i happened to sleep at 4:30 in the morning.i havent stepped outta my room since gettin up,so obviously i havent washed my face,havent brushed my teeth ,havent read the newspaper so what have i done???

ive been reading things like--"Marx had seen rise of large monopolisteic and oligopolistic production units on the basis of what he called the processes of concentration and centralization....".this is what a subject like INDIAN ECO-POLITICAL HISTORY can do to one's not gonna do this shit nemore.the exam is on wednesday,so i can postpone the torture till tuesday.i think ill try out some more interesting subjects now....all of them luk interesting till u actually have to study them!!!
n to top it all,india takes on lanka in about 30 mins from now.i am in a real dharam sankat(thats hindi for a soul wrenching dilemma) about my watching it...

i guess ill have to stand up now,just half an hour b4 the lunch closes down n i slept thru the breakfast so missing it would be too much fr my not so little tummy.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

naatak mandali!!!

some good newz.ive been selected into the DRAMATICS club here.this is the frst time iv got  a chance to do something related to dramatics.i think im quite interested in this.the auditions were great n enjoyed by "shahrukh" voice kinda clicked over there but i didint do that i walked upto to start the enactment , i had no plans of sharuhking but dont know whwre this came from.maybe when i think of acting,this shahrukh thing sorta takes me over.neways,its nice to know that im a part of some sorta "clique" and not just another chap.ive heard that the drams take up a lotta time but im ready to adjust fr the sake of the good memeories im sure this will bring.

the studies also kinda get moving today .i covered quite a part of BS n then tried some stats questions.i think ill try the finacc stuff i got frm the courseweb now .its just past 2 so ive got nother 40 mins b4 i call it a day .3-7:30=4:30 hours of sleep.kinda OK,huh???atleats i dont feel sleepy or nething when i dont want to.and yea,tommorrow INDIA clashes with SL in a do or die match.veeru hasnt shot in teh last 8 matches so the najafgarh nawab must fire tommorrow.
atb to INDIA!!!!


Monday, July 26, 2004


ive slept for about 3 hrs over the last 40 im in a hurry to really catch up on the damn thing tonite(or is it already morning!!).now dont think that ive been studyin all this time.yestreday nite we had the auditions fr the DRAMATICS cell and they strecthed up frm about 10 to 4 in the morning.we had three rounds-enacting,mime,voice .was a quite enjoyable experince n i guess i did ok.dont know what others felt but im luking frward to the results.but im sorts alarmed at the rate mid sems r appraoching n ive still not got into the groove.all these clubs hav taken up al lotta time.but ive decided to start in the earnest now n absolutely banish all video watching.songsss...ummm...mebe they can live .gotta prsent BS case tommorrow is one subject i think interests me but still these cases are so weird in the sense that u dont know wat to do with em after the reading part.

and yea..INDIA lost to PAK today.but these thinz dont really exccite me of the down sides of maturing,eh???.
chalo.let me just wrap  up ne pending stuff n hit the sack.gudnite!!!

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

i am an engineer!!!!

yahoo!!!.now im a qualified computer engineer.i mean,gawwwd,this is so wierd.a university is saying that i am a comp engineer.comp engineer,u know what that means.a guy who can enginner a computer.n i dont know ne such shit abt computers.this is the irony of our education system.i got the degree bcos i passed the exams without ever feeling like a comp engineer but ill always be a comp enginner bcos of that degree.neways,its a very relieving feeling to know that NSIT is firmly outta my system now.ive come thru without a single suppli.thats the greattest thing ive done at an idea of the thinz i did at college!!but it has been a great college was almost the first time i allowed myself so much of space.i guess one appreciates it only when one loses it.i never felt a sense of belonging as long as i was there but now i truly miss NSIT at times.the friends-dhania,adi,bunnu,singla,hoshi,jeetu,himanshu,manik,lakho,mallu.the bike .ppl asking fr the keys to it,the photocopies i flooded my room with during exams.vijay photostat.the canteen.lawns.we sprwaled on the grass.the bread rolls.
ok,so all thats a part of my inventory of sweet memories.some of them were not so sweet-the fight i had with gulli,the famous slap i pasted on GB(im very sorry for that),the placement days,the labs.the teachers,how can i forget them-rsv(gem of a person),sushma(the cranky one),dhurri(his relations with me are well known),bhatia sir(cant get better),sattu.....
so its ended on a good note.ive got 75.26% which is quite ok frm my agg will now cross 70%.the infamous btp which caused me much hair loss turned out to be quite nice after all,with me getting 83 in it.chal bhai munnu,time to catch some sleep,lest u again oversleep n miss the class tommorrow morning.

Sunday, July 18, 2004


its 3.24 am and im still not asleep.its normal now.but im smarting under a sudden wave of nostalgia.missing it lying on the good smelling floor.the food.nsit.the places .my feeling so lonely a way,how many friends u make,a sorta hole remains without the things uve brought up with.home...........sweethome.....the sabjiwalla,the morning chai bread,the balcony,the cat preparation..ohhh..those days.time,those mocks,tanuja maam, gang.jeetu.hoshang.bunnu.dhania.adi.the hours we spent sprawled in bunnu's room n chatting/listening to songs/joking.i miss it all.
listening to:backstreet boys:as long as u love me.
nice soft music they create.

enjoying life

things are cool.though today was not a very good day fr my intended extra currics activities.we are running through our marketing cell weekend-"seige 2004".started nicely with me getting thru the frst round of clash of titans but not much thereafter.kicked out in sicilian defense and addict.lets wait fr the kotler's cheese part but im still not clear on what my team did with that so dont have much hopes.but its nice that im becoming kinda popular at the college here with my nick spreading around like wildfire.on the studies front,im kinda wanting to work harder.been playing too much of tt these days.fincc is one sub i need to work upon.hopefully,there wont be much load tomm and i can peacefully catch up on some studies.rite now,im listening to songs.the gallery is empty 2nite with all the seniors gone out somewhere.listening to koi milll gaya...................what next????????

Thursday, July 08, 2004

good morning

its 2 in the morning and another hour or so to go b4 i call it a day.i think that sleeping fr abt 4-5 hrs ie frm 3-7.30/8.00 is sufficient .its nice that i did a lil of studies 2day rather than wasting time as the last nite when i watched lakshya on the comp.ive managed to get my finacc fundas a lil clearer n some bit of economics.i think that bs and political history r too global n sleepy to be tried at such hours.i must get into this routine of studying regularly n i think that im on the rite track by not loitering arnd too much after the mostly in my room with the songs going .a lotta guys have beeen gettiin their comps over the last coupla dayz n the noise level has def gone up in the hostel ,also manged to find some pics of our famous "world war" on the lan.the part abt iim c which is truly rocking is that the activities r so involoving that one truly feels an integral part of this great institution.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

im back! back.n here to now..things have not allowed to resume blogging over the last 13 days so not my fault.but now that ive got the connection at my room ,i hope to keep this baby going.

now ,the last 13 days have been the most amazing and different days of my life.there has so much happenned duiring these days,but watever ,im enjoying it like nething.the lan is not quite accessible at this moment so still not faced with its full resources.but this thiing can keep me busy forever,considering the money i burnt on net at home.but ive got to keep my focus on the subs thing gud is that the quali maths ppr went off ok so hopefully one pole is down and outta way.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004


feeling very sad about leaving home.but im happy fr the fact that i am doing thiss fr an institute which is worth it.tommorrow is my last day at home in some time to come.ppl say that hostel life is fun.but thats it all is-fun.and this life is not just a fun trip.i want happiness,not thrill.and home is where happiness is.but since im staying at the hostel fr the next two years,im gonna try to make it as useful as possible.hopfully, the responsibilities will make me a better person and the independence will not serve to spoil me .ill be very busy and occupied there,but i really feel for ma and papa.but i am doing it for them,and this seperation will make me all the more aware of the reason fr im doing this.but im feeling sad.i just pray to god to keep me on the right track and give me the strength to do what is right.maybe my next post will br frm my room in calcutta.

leaving delhi.24th june.5 pm flight.

Thursday, June 17, 2004


ok,this is for recording one of the most mind zapping days of my college life-the placements!!for one,i got started too early abt the entirte trng and placement process.was i stupid!!!dont know what got into me when i knoew that iim is what i want.anyways,i remember craeting a new eamil id on 25th december 2002(my comp archives show that).worked on my resume,edited it so many times as if my life was tied to it,and emailed it to a no of comps in delhi.nothin really happened but i was too strung up fr a good trng as i imagined that it would help my placements.then somehow got to know that ma's mamaji knoew a high guy at hughes.passed on my resume thru him and surprisingly got a call fr a written test with me expecting a straight in or out reply.on the day of the test,i felt like a kid on his frst day at into formals and my dad dropped me at hughes.was aawed by the snazzy interiors,the fast n swift ppl movin about,the clean n scented cafeteria.i think that most of teh guys who apperared fr the test made it,im not really a braggart but wud say that i worked close to as hard as i ever have during my summer trng.i revered chintu like god and did everything to keep the project going.although my partner was a total zombie who did zilch,i tried my best .but one thing which i learnt was that ppl work really hard at these mnc's n hence they expect everyone to do the same.neway,the talk of placements was gettin really hot with the info being pasted on our class placement forum.with the free net at hughes,i was makin full use of the online forums n collected a hughe no of placement papers.when i got the news that tcs was here on the 29th of july,was frantic abt it.still wonder why i was so despo abt a company shippin guys to abt the placement experience in a datewise manner-

29th july----

reached coll in the morn in formals(mebe fr the frst time in my life was i wearing those).but the darned comp called tcs didnt got to the college till nite.all of us had lost all the steam but finally they got here at 11:00 in the nite!!!conducted their online test at arnd 11:30 in the CAD lab.was a total apti ppr followed by a pasyco test.cleared the apti ppr .the result fr the psyco on was to be out the next day.papa along with ravinder came to escort my bike.reached home at arnd 1:00 in the morning.had my dinner n went to sleep with hope abt the next day.

30th july--

now,i was quite confident abt makin it thru the psycho.the result was soon read out in the morning.twas in the alphabetical order and my name was not there!!twas my heartbrekin moment( a lotta them awaited me).but it proved to be a way of shocking relief when my name was read out as the last one.infact,a comp glitch had caused this.was now truly pumped up .raedjusted my clothes n waited fr my turn.was called in to find a motu n one kalu guy ready fr me.was mostly technical but i think i handled it well.stretced fr some 30-35 mins whih was quite longer than others.was quite hopeful abt makin it esp after the motu asked me abt the bonds and location stuff.

the interviews sterched thruout the day but the results fr my round were declared at abt 11:00 in the night.i was seated in the far right of the second row of the audi .an oldy started reading out the names.werent in any order.the comp guys frst.the guy selected stood up after the name.clapping,whoops,hugs,.the names continued...mallu,lakho,girish,venky,basu..n then he ended.electronics guys name wasnt there.i dont know if i have ever felt so heartbroken as at that moment.celebrations all around.52 guys made it.bhatia sir was too happy.everybody was delighted.i felt like as if i had been slapped on TV.dropped himanshu to the hostel.accepted condolences frm bunnu n grewal n drove n papa met me halfway towards home.i was feeling so low but lil did i know that this just the beginning of the nightmare.

31st july-

was feeling very low and scared.the confidence level was in the basement.

HCL tech first.a hell lotta guys appearing .feeling very sleepy and disinterested.techni kinda paper.not many down frm the audi.met arora and garg.feeling a lil bit pepped up after meetin up friends.the result was expected towards the end of the day.CSC was to come later in the day.CSC test happened in the evening.the pay was good.around 3.5.all the big guns-setia,mohit,tuli etc had turned up fr this one so ddint had much hopes after the CSC ppl had said that they were lukin at arnd 5 guys max.but had to wait fr the HCL result.the CSC test was total apti n eng .enjoyed it thoroughly.while doin it,got to know that bunnu had got into tcs.was jappy fr him but felt all the more pained abt my torture.just after the test,the HCL results were out.every shitty soul had made it except me.but strangely didint feel very bad.then bhatia told us that another list cud be sent out ok guys,lets c.n then the CSC guys came out with this wasnt a very hopeful many bonds around,just get this over n let me go home.all of us settle in the room next to audi.the names started.applause after each name.himanshu was called!!happy fr him.poor guy was takin it too hard .n then it happenned.abhinav jain.huh!!!!hoshang was besides me.i looked at him and grinned.applause.rushed behing himanshu.the sleepy feeling vanished.another chance .the clothes were crumpled n hair messy but what did they expect at 11:00 in the night.the interview was pretty ok but i caught his signal to his colleague as i was leaving and i felt that i was out.but still harbored a hope.the result was expected late in the nite so left fr home.quite reasonaable day.may my ordeal end the next day!!

1st august--

took a bus today.went straight to hostel.jaggu's room.he was doin something in his almirah,turned around,made a sad face, n said " nahi hua yar..tera nahi hua".sighhhhhh....was expectin this.another cruel blow.trudged towards the college n phoned home to convey the news.low voices,sighs,quiet pauses.WIPRO n COGNIZANT today.aaj to ho jayeega yar.had enough.

WIPRO got here in the morning.the ppt said that they were too strict abt 70 % cutoff.what do i do?mine is arnd 69.3.asked bhatia,he told me to sit fr he apti paper.lot of cheating around.was in the last row.written the percentage as 69.3 so if i get a call,they know that i dont have 70 %.

at around 11:00,the list is here.ive been called.gulli n osama congratulate home.hope.adrenalin.a very long form.crappy questions.lounge in singla'a room n fill it up.PV stops by to say that singla is one of the few creamy studs left.singla hasnt been clearing many writtens.atleast,i have some guy to share my burden.the form done into formals.a lotta talcum powder.GB is coordintaing the WIPRO to the conference room with the dark glassed.lotta non coe ppl.nammo.arora.oli.the iviews r very techni. major c/ called in.these marks r below 70 abhinav!!!.explain the droppin funda.the guy walks back to the short ,dark lady .hushed talk.looking at me.ask me to wait outside.ppl looking at me with eyes as big as a golf ball.what happenned.ohh....its so close.....sigh.girish is here.comforts me.the lady walks out n asks back the form.i ask if there is any not ANGRY.shit on ur face,u whore.cognizant is about to start its exam.oli advises me to appear fr it.says i have a sure chance witha a verry cat like paper.

i run towards the audi.flying tie.panting.rawat catches me in the lounge.takes me to bhatia's room.pv has blurted in the audi abt WIPRO.cogni ppl are livid.i cant go in.i walk out in the admin mind isnt working.just get me outta here.namit is here.i let out my tale of woe.vinay tells me dat rawat is searching fr me.oli has got in.but im late now.pleasse rawat sir!he is scared of spoilin it further.i back out.the stairs below.lambu,lohan.i start file falls n all the papers fall hell with them .oh goddddd.bunnu's room.i must get back on track.he convinces me to get this 69.XX shit outta my system.we calculate n the pntage is 70+ after dropping.we decide that this is it.he says that im doing too well in my mack cats.this placement funda doesnt deserve hell with these shit destined fr better thinz.go home.another comp tomm but im not coming back b4 monday.

2nd august--

bunnu calls up in the nite.himansu has got thru ST.4.6 lakhs.lucky im alone.

4th august--

go to the hostel frm kakrola.jaggu's room.buunu is here.takes me mock cat score is quite good.we decide that im appearing fr QUARK paper.apti+techni.results are out too soon.i have the frst iview.conference room.its already dark.gora guy frst.techni iview.not too good.feel this slipping away.vasu then.this is ok.testing.sware lifecycle.puzzles.ok.outta here.ppl converge on me.uppal is just after me.hez done with later.we stroll feeling recharged after the third iview happens with vekiah naidu lool alike at arnd 10:30 in the nite.wierd iv.stupid questions about manholes,trees,bhp n my call rings giggling .nice old buddhau.ha ha ! we are asked to come back tommorow.dekhte too insensitive to hope anythin now.

5th august--

morning.the room next to audi.not many guys.some guys can leave to called fr an HR iview with prerna kalra.pretty lady.very sweet n soft spoken.i give her such globe abt life n too satisfied.this can happen now.

6:00 in the evevning.we r seated in the audi.results are abt to be declared.manika is also here.quark is bekaar,she says.ohh..just get me this bekaar company god.
the team is here.on the stage.the names start.manik is in.he doesnt hear his name.i am excited.he luks at the stage.they repeat the name.hes happy.singla .a loud roar frm his hostel pals.saurabh jain.roar.sonu arora.girls not on the edge of my seat.jaggu.congrats.another heartbreak fr me??no.
again??am i so bad.this cant be.a hii na..v a..i.n.WHAT? what dd id u say u oldy.abhinav jain.clear,crisp.have u ever released air frm a balloon by pricking happenned to me.i dont know if this is true.manik tries to hi five me.i dont remember if a respond to it.namit shakes my hand.jaggu hugs has ended.we are on stage.rawat clicks a snap .ppl r hugging me.singla.thinless.we are called in the room by the QUARK guys.they ask us to ramp up sum subjects.naidu comments abt my lookin tense.i tell him that its just the relief after not gettin thru elsewhere!!.we r back in the audi.jaggu n manik call home.i too call home.SMS frm papa or gudiya.hostel.bunnu has left fr home.i drive home.we go out to plaza.bunnu happy.bcos more than me gettin a job,the ordeal is over.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

iim : do u want it ??

why is there such a rush for doin mba these days.some 6-7 years back,not many wanted to do it but these days even iitians are desperate to get into an iim.what brought about this?is it that suddenly the world has started being managed ? wasnt it managed earlier ?i think to find the reason for this,i need to look at the people who want to do it.The biggest snag in the whole situation is that guys are deciding to try for an mba too fast.straight into your pre final year at graduation college ,and u find every second person in the class talking of TIME n CL n IMS.You hear of the iims,read about them in the papers,remember your cousion who passed out of iim lucknow some years back but is still remembered as the sole guy deserving a place in the family,find ur parents asking questions like " beta,iim ka try karega ?",see the cold and proud faces of the brilliant acheivers in the coaching instis ads on the third page and suddenly you feel -"if there is anything called success,it cant be got without an iim".and it gets an all consuming passionate chase once you fall in the cycle of the mock cats,the scores,the ranks,the comparisons,the analysis and so on.the class begins to know about ur burning chahat for an iim and some even name u "catman" or "caterer".all the while,ur experience at the campus placements is serving to give u one more reason to run away frm the coding think of iims all day,graduation looks necessary only to be eligble for an iim.come march,and the front page of your daily paper declares that the mncs just made kings out of 1000 odd iim students at the placements yesterday--you feel all the more pumped up.this single minded hot chase lands you the seat in your dream institute,you feel like you have just beaten mike tyson to pulp.the classmates who looked down at you as if you didnt know hot to sign wave down ur bike at college and admiringly congratulate see ur name on the college bulettin board and suddenly everyone at college wants ur email id.ppl call u at home n ask fr tips fr their kid whooz been hitting his head against cat for the last three years.u scan
tha papers expecting ur photo to whip out frm the next page.feels good.but like everything,the aura begins to fade over days.u kinda seek to move done,admission done,adulations done.NOW WHAT????now for the mba!!!wait a minute,what am i supposed to do here?an mba,what does he do?watz his job like?wat sorta companies hire them?will i have to go to some other city after my mba?n here lies the greatest have cracked cat not bcos u wanted to do an mba but bcos u wanted to crack wat the world sees as a really hard nut .u dont even know much abt an mba.but bcos people are so myopic ,n ur one of them,u have given it ur all without pausing and looking at the place u r heading to.

this may not turn out to be bad at all,infact,most probably it will go on to make ur life better and richer,but still,i believe a momentous decision as this deserves a lil more thought .

ps-i have nothin to do these days n hence my blog entries look like the script of a bombed art film,hopfully after my iim cal life starts,they will start to approach a masala movie.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

my life this week

so they say that blogging help u get a release still too early into it to have a say on this.between,a real snobby week awaits me with three family functions lined up.(aaaaaaarrrrrggghhh!!!)

The iim cal gang meets on the 16th at priya.i have also decided to b there.after i missed the frst meet,missing this wont be the perfect start to my tryst with iim calcutta.i still feel somewhat angry with myself for missing out iim a n b.not that its gonna make much difference to my career.meanwhile,bunnu came over and stayed with me overnight.watched a lot of television.he is a very cool guy in the sense that he quickly slips in any kind of atmo n feels very comfy with
people around.i really wanna improve on this front.i get too conscious sometimes and will make a try to kick this sorta thing outta my system.others have very lil to offer me to be cared a damn!!!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

i want it that way

went on another shopping outing today and it started with me having a
real face off with papa.thankfully,it didnt last long.this is the umpteenth time ive failed to controlled ny tongue.but today i promise to make conscious attempt to do so in the already started to feel sad about leaving home after a fortnight.but i want to be at home after my mba n i need high grades at iim to be able to deserve that.makes me all the more hellbent on blasting things at of the things which i am sure of is that i want a life havin a balance of professioanl n family life.i hope that doin an mba frm iim doesnt tilt it towards the professional part too much.maybe i am not too ambitious but thats the way i am.n i dont call that lack of ambition but a different sort of priorities and nobody can change that. i may end up doing something i dont want but that doensnt make me stop wanting it.but i hope that this mba brings a lot of positves onn the family part too.for one,having a successful career brings a lot of satisfaction for my family.then,being at a higher position affords me a better chance of staying at home as compared to a sware professional at
infy.basically,the part abt home remains the same if not better in both
enngg n engg+mba of the things is that ncr companies may find
it a bit diffcult to come to calcutta but i believe still i can get a place in ncr,with i lil bit of selection n hard work.

Monday, June 07, 2004

feelin cool dude!!!

yahoo!!got my cal had been quite sum time since it had been mailed by the admissions
office at cal n i had started getting a lil tight abt it.infact,had one of those back brekin days today
to another of those hellish shoppin sprees,but it was my stuff day today,got what:->

*a new track.1325/=
*a new no has gone up:-o

n had to lug that sick ups up n down bu gald that it finally got ok.

also got regret letter frm ahmedabad.the formal cremation of my ahmedabad dreams.

acting a lot bindaas since morning.feels very cool this says im tring to act like "lucky"
in "main hoon na"!!

Saturday, June 05, 2004

games ppl play!!

just had a itching urge to reinstall fifa actually had got nothin much to do besides watching tv,lying on the floor,looking for something to eat..played quite a lot during those days,the most remembered ones being:

*MDK.i guess this was my first hard core,intense graphics game

*half life:another game which kept me hooked.but lost intrest n never got to its end.

*brian lara cricket:got a cd fr 100 bucks during summer vacations of 2002 and even played the test matches!!

*EURO 2000:i remember playing it between exams and it was the one which sorta contributed to my knowledge of international soccer.

also,we plan to get this machine upgraded hopefully,my next blog will be shot from a faster machine.:-)

Friday, June 04, 2004

my feelings abt cat

i often wonder how i manged to attain the motivation to go after cat so desperately.i guess its this way when one gets what he wants.maybe im unable to go back and imagine the time when i was preparin fr car and the fire burning within me at that time.but one issue im still unable to get is when guys say that they wanna get into iims to earn like ,dont think that im any kind of saint or anyone even near it but just money??how can it drive one so hard?maybe i dont appreciate its importance since ive never had to earn it upto this point of my life.but still i wonder if one needs the kinda money these iims are said to offer and if it brings more ills rather than gains.

if i try to delve into the reasons why i did cat,i think of the following:

* the challenge:its been teh way with me.working towards a target,the pain,sweat,trials ,pressure..i kinda enjoy it.i did iit /dce/cat bcos i enjoyed working hard and proving to myself taht i have it in me.

* better career:or i may say that an escape from technical jobs was wahat i needed.i never got into the groove as far as comp engg was oncerned and felt sick at teh thought of coding and computers for the rest of my life.

* money :thatz a reason although not a primary one.its more of being like..yea,maybe a lot of money will make life easier for me and my loved ones.

* recognition: i love it when my parents tell others proudly abt my gettin into iim calcutta.the pride and happiness theyve got is my greatest reward rite a way ,my success is their success,my failure is theirs and i never want to fail them.and after 4 years of "masti" at college,i wanted to show the guys at my college and the rest of teh world teh stuff im made of.

i guess these factors reflect what i feel rite now.i may come across a lil smug guy after reading this but wat the heck,i dont write this for others but for myself.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

college days!!

feeling kinda bored with nothin to do after deledting fifa.but i guess im catching up on the studies part slowly and its a very good decision i took.

betwee,i went to the college yestreday .got the no dues n applied for my sem vii marksheet.good thing that these were done inspite of such slouchy characters in the academic section there.theres no one at the seats,even if they are theyll think of every rotten excuse to parry the poor students off.i guess if some of us gusy get together and rough them up..maybe thats the only rememdy these people deserve.but one exception was kiran who did my iimc form promptly,another matter that she put in the wrong date.i also understand that ive seen a lotta guys at college for the last time in a long time to come.i came across various kinds guys during these 4 years but the general view i developed was that these ppl were usually more competitive minded witha "i-wont-lose-come-wat-may" attitude than an average guy.i hope that the lot at iim-c turns out to be a lil more chilled one.but i enjoyed these years like anythin.the images that flash across are

*me stretching out on the last bench while the teacher blabbers

*we guys playing cricket in the class..the best thing i did..reqally enjoyed doin this

*playing squash (basically it involved hitting the ball against the balckboard using our hands)

*the teacher asking me to GET OUT !!!

but it feels nice that ive built a somewhat nice circle of friends who are in great IT companies around the country.hope that i keep the contacts going.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

why am the way i am??

was feeling very lazy back frm the park at around 6:30,had the breakfast and went to sleep and got up only around 10:30 am.people tell me that these will be my only easy days in a long time,i wonder if this is the case,if any environment can change an easy going guy.between,decided to complete the technical paper be frank,just picked put crap from the report and copied it.ive done enough on this project already.i have actually done quite about this project.but it s only that since im a quite easy sort of guy,others end up taking up credit for my work and i dont mind that much.but now i guess this thing doesnt pay much and ill have to try to change things at iim calcutta.i dont know if i can do this but i think that to be somewat cunning is better than being a guy who is popular but so easy that he doesnt claim what he deserves.

so many times i v decided that ill be more cunning in day to day matters but always end up being the same laid back guy who
is left with all the work and the bills.
but thsi btp thing was very eventful for me ,if not interesting and i plan to put it up sometime later.

Monday, May 31, 2004

this is the first n my last blog address

ok,so bcos of privacy reasons,i change my blog to this start with,im copying the stuff frm my last but noe defunct blog.gotta go to college to get the forms signed.

all under control now
yess.changed the time all under control now n now i can luk forward to settle down as a true blogger.meanwhile,my parents took me shopping today at benetton n reebok's.bought some 3500 worth of clothes n a travel bag.these people spend so much on me.makes me all the more scared .i just hope that i dont let them down ever.

posted by abhinav at 2:45 PM | 0 comments

time setting fix
this blog shows sum panga in the time settings.lets c if i can fix this.birth pangs i guess.

posted by abhinav at 9:43 AM | 0 comments

sunday morning
ok,another sunday morning.just logged in to c the blog.guess its the new blog magic.feeling much better after deleting fifa.gotta go shopping today at reebaok n bentton fr the clothes at iim-c.i hate shopping but will have to go thru this.

posted by abhinav at 9:31 AM | 0 comments

how did this start?
is this it?is this the start of what i imagine is going to be a momentous journey,a journey thru which i intend to put down my life in type ? my final year prsentation has got over last wednedsday(26th may)and since then ive just tried to find something to do.but ive landed up just playing fifa wc edition(got the cd written frm girish) and watching our newly got tv with cable connection.but about an hour back i decided that im not right in wasting away time when a hugely challenging time awaits me .so i deleted the fifa n guess planning to start a blog.

anyways,some things i can see ive to do are upgrading the comp,finding out something to study/read and basically doing something constructive.n yea,i also hope that my college results get out as soon as posssible and everything turns out fine.i dont know why i feel so anxious sometimes.god has given me so much upto now,but still i feel as if something will go very wrong any moment.

posted by abhinav at 9:23 AM | 0 comments

the first one
ok.this is the start of a momentous new phase in my life as a blogger.

posted by abhinav at 9:19 AM | 0 comments