Sunday, November 13, 2005

Twenty aur Troubly

I am a very rude boy , the type who pushes old ladies off escalators , but I have to say this . I think if anyone takes out some time to leave a comment on this blog , even if the comment is about some Russian Matrimonial Website , it is my responsibility to reply to that comment .I mean , its like someone says "hi" to me , so I need to say something back to him/her.But one fine day , I come back from my class , kick off my shoes , log on and see 55 comments on a post of mine.So I forget my responsibility and choose to say a combined THANK YOU to all those who left a comment to the last post.I am grateful to all of you.It's not that I am like "Seee , I got a comment !!" . It's like when you left a comment , you spent some of your time saying something to me , even though you could have saved that time .So thanks to all those who commented on the last post and to those who mailed me --

ashu , sayesha , ruchita , meena jee , nidhi , viv , divya , mani , viveka , zarine , neetie , samir , ajay , vidya , handa , hari , karthika , fathima , senorita , aastha , phoenix , kanika , cactus , vidhi , deepako , rusted , shreyansh , vikram , tinkerbell , antonio , rana saab , entrance exams wale bhaiyya , myth , rinku , the dq , pratik , ck , ruchika ,all the anonymous angels and devils , stuti jee , sunshine and of course , yossarian .

****************************
If I say I need more time to blog , it’s like Bill Gates saying “Hey, can you lend me a dollar?”. My typical day is made up of a couple of classes, some Business school contests, some table tennis and movies. So I can fit in blogging. But blogging is like making a baby pee , you cannot force it , it just happens. I don’t want to make anyone click on this blog and find no new post and be like “Kalmoohe , khud ko kya Vikram Seth samajhtaa hain ? Naya Post karrne mein itne nakhre !” , but what do I do ? The baby decides to pee when it does. Anyways , now that baby says “Uwwaan Uwwaaan ( Remove my diaper idiot , I want to peeeee )” , I shall blog .

Now I see Miss.Zarine has tagged me. And the tag is kind of troubly. ( I know Troublesome is the right word , and ‘Troubly’ is no word ,but I used ‘Troubly’ in the topic for Filmy reasons ).

I wish Miss.Zarine had asked for one of my kidneys rather than tagging me with this. I have to write 20 random things about me. Now If Shahrukh Khan says he loves Chocolate Ice Cream , some thirty three hundred girls would sigh “Oooooooh , you heard that ! Shahrukh loves Chocolate Ice Cream , how cute !”. Or if Sushmita Sen says she likes men with impeccable english , ‘Rapidex English Speaking course’ will be a bestseller overnight . But even my mother won’t be interested in facts about me. Anyway , what me worry.

1. As a kid , I was very violent. Almost a mini Suniel Shetty or something. In class sixth , I broke a tooth of one my classmates. Maybe it was already loose , but I still am sorry for doing that. Then I changed schools. I hear that guy grew up into a big guy and is a regular at some Hercules gym now and still smiles a toothlessly wicked smile and is hunting for me . It’s rather nice he doesn’t read blogs and doesn’t surf the net too much .

2. I desire fame as much as you desire a dead dog. If you are the kind of person who dreams of getting on the cover of Business World , send me an X ray of your brain . I do not understand the way your brain works.

3. I hate arguments. People are like “Your blog puts me to sleep.” , and I am like
“See ? Who needs sleeping pills now.”. People are like “You are a pig” and I am like “Grunt Grunt Grunt” .People are like “You are a little boy who is lost and has no idea about life” and I am like “Can you take me to the “Gumshuda Talaash Kendra” and get me admitted please. ”. I don’t want to irritate people.But they wont stop judging me.And I wont burn my fuel on arguments.

4 .The day my hair straightens out , India would beat Brazil 9-0 in soccer , Osama would open up a Flower Shop in California and start handing out white daisies to little kids for free ( with a smile ) , and Brad Pitt would star in a Bhojpuri movie. In short , it keeps curling itself into locks and wont keep straight even if I use an iron comb on it.

5 . I am short . I meet people and ask “Hi. How is the weather up there ?”. Ok , maybe not so bad. I don’t need binoculars to see people’s heads , but you won’t dream of me playing basketball even if you have the IQ of a Miss.India.

6 . I like shy girls. Girls who keep looking at the floor and think forty one times before uttering a word.No I am not making fun of them.I really like shy girls , there is something so Indian and elegant and pleasant about them.

And haan jee , for the anonymous guy who left the “Seedhe Saadha bol nayi ladki chahiye life mein” comment to the last post–.

“Bhai sahib , tussi to gajab ho , bheje mein ghuskar thoughts ko newspaper ki tarah pad lete ho .Very good. Aapne jeeta hain ‘Cheap and Anonymous Limited’ ki taraf se 50 rupye ka gift hamper !!”

7 .Take away my small intestine , take away my marksheets , take away all my Aishwarya’s posters , but don’t take away my winamp and my music collection. I need oxygen and music to live.

8 . I cannot dance. I tried once. It was my cousion’s wedding and some fat aunt pulled me to the ‘dancing area’ and yelled “Naach munnu , naach !”. I started doing my moves. She looked at me in horror. Then she yelled “Someone help ! He is having a concussion !”. She killed my self confidence. I cannot dance ever again.

9 . So now we present the ‘Outsider’s View’. Last week , we had this personality exercise in one of our classes. Some of the adjectives my classmates gave me – Down to earth , humorous , never loses temper , great attitude to life , trivializes issues , natural ,undisciplined , low on sincerity , hard working , Fun loving ,unambitious , too much chilled out. Guys who stay with me said that , so I need to be a politician to deny what they said.

10 . I sleep between 3 and 4 in the morning. My biological clock has had its frame crushed , all its springs pulled out ferociously , its dial smashed and its hands twisted .

11 . I speak a lot and I speak nonsense ( Hai na jee ? ). As I explained to a dumbstruck friend “Yaar , I don’t think my tongue is gonna be placed in some museum after my death , so I better use it enough.”

12. I do not drink. I do not smoke. Mommy , I am a good boy.

13 .In my class nine , a girl from my class took hold of my collar , shook me to and fro as if I was a toothpick and growled “What is your problem ?”.Wait.I guess it was “What is your bloody problem?”.Yeah.She said bloody. I swear on Rani Mukherjee’s eyes , I look at my collar even now , and I see her hand clutching it. Psychological long term scarring is the phrase I think.

14. I faint at the sight of blood. Mommy nicked her finger in the kitchen once. I was in a coma for three days. Ok. I love exaggeration. But I did faint.

15 .I cannot get away with lying to my mommy. Have you seen a walking Lie Detector machine ? I grew up with one in my house.

16. I am beginning to hate Miss.Zarine by now. Someone get me a pistol.Ok , I haven’t got a licence.Someone get me a baseball bat .

17 . I hate lights. Most of the time , the lights are switched off in my room , with the computer screen being the only source of light.Could not Edison invent anything else ?

18. I can maintain a deadpan face and say weird things .There was this foreign national student who had just joined the class through an exchange program. And he wanted to approach a girl asking for some class notes. And I was sitting next to this guy.So he asks me –“Hey man , what is that girl’s name ? The one in the pink shirt .”.And I say – “Rani Mukherjee”.And he goes over to her and says “Hi Rani Moo-ker-jee”.As time went by , that firang guy met kajol , urmila matondkar , sushmita sen and a couple of others through me.

19 . You need to be amazingly bad to make me angry. I don’t believe in messing up my peace of mind because someone else got pissing me off on his ’50 things to do before I die’ list.

20 . I don’t believe in forcing people to do a thing. I pass on the tag to Sunshine , Mani Raj , Ruchita , Lakhotia and Ashish. Take your time to complete it.I am not forcing you.But do it , or I will kill you.

59 comments:

Darth Midnightmare said...

My my, quite a list... As for the hating the tag part...hmmm... I sympathize :-(...

Shreyansh said...

What had you said to the girl ( in the class nine, "collar struggle)..... called her Jhansi ki rani or something?? ;)

And whats the prob with curly hair. Make Chris Cairns or Mangal pandey ur idol. :)

Entertaining post btw.

Sayesha said...

Hahahaha! Laughed all thru the post! Your blog is a perfect stop for study breaks! :)

//“You are a pig” and I am like “Grunt Grunt Grunt”

That was SO Abhi! Hahahaha! :D

ps: Hey didn't know you're a short guy. You have a tall guy's face! (Ok did that statement make sense only in my head?)

Fursat said...

do it or i ll kill you...isse acha to tum unhe force hi kar lo..

Oh Mr..curly hair...

shy gals...Indian culture..yeh to muje abhi pata chala...

me too cant dance...its so tuff...

haanjee...finally you wrote what i said to you :) good...

me too hate lights..i always switch off them...

good tag...Funny :)

sunshine said...

hmmm.....humne socha apni age chupa rahe ho, 'coz u r troubly (& I thought you are calling yourself 20)! Everything was going fine till you mentioned my name. Lagta hai I'll soon write something like "24 and bubbly" in my blog.

Zarine said...

Yahoo!!U finally posted,munnu!! :D

Baseball bat nahi hai,danda chalega of the 'Gilli Danda' fame :D

!xobile said...

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

Kaise likhta hai tu yeh sab!

Mujhe comples de deta hai yaar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im jealous

!xobile said...

Oh ya!
v nice title also

Twenty aur troubly
Twen... tee aur toubly

USK said...

arrey bhai,
wish u wrote my engineering text books. Then i wud have happily got 95.47% in engineering exams....;)
(read as percentage;with CAT fast approaching theres a lot of confusion between percentage and percentile;))

jokes apart , you write really really well. I actually spent a day before my semester exam reading ur entire blog instead of my subject(wish i cud sue u,cos i screwed up my exam, and bcome a millionare)
the post was humorous
ur philosophy 2wards life is fantabulous.... keep them coming

yossarian said...

Abhi bhai...I am just hoping that Karan Johar doesn't stumble onto your post. Or he would certainly make u write the screenplay of his next movie - Abhi Khushi Abhi Gam(Pun Intended !!)

Senti post, humorous post ka accha alternate maarte ho :P

Ashish Gupta said...

Abhi bhaiyya what are you doing here on blogger? (as i was talking some other blogger last month) You shud better go write comic strips. umm... May be a Waterson in making :D

that "Cheap and Anonymous Limited" is soo hilarious =))
Seems like 'Fat Aunts Inc.' is gonna sue you for libel and you are gonna sue them for defacing :P
Same here- by biological clocks ran out of batteries as soon as I stepped inside campus :P

oh and just some observations, reading some comments here-- Someone thot I looked like karan johar on another blog. Whoaaaaaa!!
And Ms. Zarine's blog's name is "As if I care..." contextual with ur tagging :P

Thanks for the post- the news website feeling is gone ;)

Ashish Gupta said...

"Sunshine , Mani Raj , Ruchita , Lakhotia and Ashish."

Ooooo praji, je tussi ki bol riye ho yaar ???? mainu aie to dikkha hi na pehli baar mein *rolling eyes*

Raam Pyari said...

I speak nonsense

I think both o us know that both of us can speak loadz of nonsense and senseless roobish ;)

aah..i see i have been tagged.... anything for u buddy, infact i shall get tagged with a brave smile on my face...:) ( brave + heroic smile)

Princesse said...

Waahbhi wabhi!! Jee khush kardiyaaa aapne!! Kya badiya post hai, haste haste margaye... lekin abh toh kahi baar marchukke hain hum, kabhi iss dil ke haathon (mere dil ke chotte chotte haath hain, aur pyaare se peyr bhi!! :P), toh kabhi aap hee ke baathon se... :) itna hasaate jo hain...

par ek baat toh ek dum gajab hai, ke aaj kitnon ke comments ap ki post ke baare mein padkar bhi khoob hassi aayee, esp usk,yossarian and ashish!! control hee nahin hua, aankhon mein paani aagayaa, toh humaari badaulat thodi si baarish hogayi aap ki duniyaa mein ;)...

divyasurendiran said...

Hey as usual, you have come up with an interesting and humorous post. You have a great sense of humor. Well done! *Clap Clap*

Leon said...

Those were 20 DAMN funny random facts.. I'm glad Zarine tagged you.. :-)

virdi said...

>> I don’t believe in forcing people to do a thing. I pass on the tag to Sunshine , Mani Raj , Ruchita , Lakhotia and Ashish. Take your time to complete it.I am not forcing you.But do it , or I will kill you.>>

u r a boss in the making... hehehehe...

Docs Dope said...

dude u write really well..i read thru ur archives - it was great fun. but ur pic kinda a mood spoiler, do remove it if u can, thanks,

doc dope

Rajesh Rana said...

nice blog....great...job

http://www.rajeshrana.blogspot.com

- said...

Blimey, don't you have an interesting view on things?! A lot in there that's quite indentical to my life. And I just realized, -not having a sense of humour is not a laughing matter..!

Pity I don't speak hindi.

Ok back to my maths paper, -saving the party subject for last;)

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Munnu, didn't you miss something?? :D

Dreamcatcher said...

Hillarious.
btw - u sleep for only an hour everyday???????
Why?? and how?

Simmi... said...

hi abhi nice posts as always -"direct dil se"(i read last 2 posts of ur's altogether...)..n just read the comment u left on my blog....u r the only "darshak" i hav on my blog...thnx..:)...yeps i do talk a lottttt...even on blogs too...howz life?...my CAT..aailaa...5 dayz to go...

Ashwani Gupta said...

Hi Abhinav

I have been visiting ur blog for a couple of months now. i specially liked all ur posts on ur feelings about 'her'. I just had a break-up with my 'her'. And i feel every line of ur posts r my story. But the sliver linig is my thoughts on luv and other important things in life have changed for better. Thanx buddy. U always manage to put a smile on my face. Thanx... I have never met u, seen u or spoken to u but still feel connected to u. How can a girl leave a guy like u? u've got great attitude towards life...
- Raj

SonnyBoy said...

Kya Diya Hai bhai....
Maza aa gaya blog parhkar!!!

Fathima said...

Wow! Thanking Miss.Zarine for making u write such a great post.
Still cudn't stop laughing for
“Naach munnu , naach !”. I started doing my moves. She looked at me in horror. Then she yelled “Someone help ! He is having a concussion !”.

Raam Pyari said...

UNTAGGED!!!

aMyth! said...

maaaannn.. u r hilarious! n i think i should make u my role model. (as a beginning, i've tagged u..don't mind. but my blog doesn't have much to read...)

lemme see. what i end up doing when am all alone and totally bugged..i switch off the lights..with just the comp running..and playing my fav songs! yup, it's O2 and music for me too. oh well..but that's where it ends. wish i could say "You need to be amazingly bad to make me angry." but nope. i lose my temper at the drop of a pin! and..blood? haha.. i could well have been a vampire in the last life.. ;)

abhinav said...

@mikey - oh my fellow victim , do you have something heavy and blunt to hit zarine with ?

@shreyansh - Yaar , that girl had faint moustache coming up and I just informed her that the gillete presto is available now at only 7 bucks !Ab ek to economy schemes ke baare mein batao , upar se collar bhee pakadwao.kalyug hai bhaiyya.

@sayesha - Tall guy's face ? yeh naya concept pehle kabhi nahi suna maine...Tall guy's legs nahi hai mere paas.tu soja bacchi , exams mein aisa hota hain.rest a little.:p

@neetie - Haan jee neetie jee.Accha aap bhee hamesha lights off kar dete ho jee.Kinne kanjooos ho , electricity bill bachane ke liye kya kya karna padta hain.:p

@sunshine - Masternee jee namaste !Aap tag banao , and hum padenge.Bott pad li aaapne baccho ki answer sheets.Bott ho gaya aapka atyachaar masoom baccho pe.and uska kya hua ? abbe uska...zor laga ke haisssha !:p

@zarine - kisi ko bye bye bolna hai to bol le michael.mujhe baseball bat milte hee u r gonna be in trouble.

@mani - YAAAAAAAAR ! keyboard se likhta hoon yeh sab !shaant munna shaant.nothing beats ur chapaat.sacchi.


@usk - Man , ask me to write the sequel to mahabharat , but engg textbooks , nah baba nah , too many painful memories there.uff wo chapters , uff wo underlinings , uff wo appendix , nahi dost nahi...ALL THE BEST fr billi.:)

@yossarian - Ahaaan , so next post has to be senti ? :).all the best fr cat to you too bhai !

@ashu - To yeh the ab tak ke samachaaar.Ab hume izaazat deejiye.Namaskaar.( Le , ab to 100% news bulletin wali feeling chali jayegi ) ;)

@ashu again - abbe o rolling eyes , get rolling about your tag !

@ruchi - naaansense.Utter naan sense.Butter naan sense.Thats what we talk.for a namoona , check out my comment to ur tag.

@meena jee - meena jee sach kahein , kehte hue laaj aati hai , but iss post ko likhne ki prerna hume tabhi aayi jab aapne apne humse kuch likhne ki guzaarish karee.kasam aapki pakeezah wali acting kee , aapki 'down-with-flu-need-new-post' waali pukaar dil ke thru nikal gayee missile ki tarah.aap theek ho jao.bhagwan aapko hrithik ke saath fillum sign karwaye.

@divya - Thank you Thank you.:)I was expecting a standing ovation too ! :p

@leon - Man , I should have tagged you to spread the 'glad-ness':)

@virdi - hans matt ! salary rok lunga teri ;)

@doc - arre daactar saab , aapne 'phool aur kaante' to dekhi hee hogi.ab agar blog ka filaawer dekhna hai to hamaar thobde ka kaanta bhee dekhna padega.Aaapki shakal bhee to dekhni padtee hai jab patient aata hai aapke paas , ya muh pe mask pehn karr dekhte ho ?

@rajesh - shukriya raana saab.baaki sab theek ?

@dilakshana - uee my imported blog comment this !:) all the best fr ur exam.

@sudipta - welcome back man ! and i missed you all these months :( :p

@DC - offo my english is dead DC.i meant i go to sleep sometime between 3 and 4.mea culpa.( thats 'my mistake' , nadaaan insaan ).;)

@simmi - yeah tere blog pe exclusive readership rights rakhta hoon main.ALL THE BEST for cat simmi jee.be calm and ull do well.

@Raj - Thanx bhai.And you dnt have to thank me.I needed to talk , you listened , and both of us felt better.:).And she dint leave me , it just went too wrong.sunaunga kisi din tasalli se. :)

@sonny - hey sandy , do well in cat dude.You have the goods , just be cool .ALL THE BEST !

@fathima - hai raam , india ka to naash ho gaya.likhe hum , and thanks zarine naam ke insaan ko ? And aapko hansee aa rahee hain , yahan mera dancing career 'nip in the bud' ho gaya.

@ruchi - kya soch ke likha yeh ? ki sardaar khus hoga , sabaaasi dega ? :p

@myth - You tagged me too ! zarine zarine dekh aur mil gaya murder karrne ko ! ;)

aMyth! said...

oh no..plz...spare my troubled life. i'll remove the tags and free ur blog...plz... ;)

@nu$h@ said...

Hey,

First time here, blog hopped all the way from nowhere...
interesting to read stuff about u the very first time ....

Cheers,
@^U$#@

Jeff Pioquinto,SJ said...

nice article and nice blog too. thanks

SonnyBoy said...

@doc - arre daactar saab , aapne 'phool aur kaante' to dekhi hee hogi.ab agar blog ka filaawer dekhna hai to hamaar thobde ka kaanta bhee dekhna padega.Aaapki shakal bhee to dekhni padtee hai jab patient aata hai aapke paas , ya muh pe mask pehn karr dekhte ho ?

Hadd Hadd Hadd Reply.... ;-p

Khushi said...

u know wt,
u r damn cute :D

susubala said...

Hey...Nice post and ur school days are so interesting.

I pity those 5 whom u've tagged. Oh...God..help them...

divya said...

u go to sleep at 3 in the morning !! i need to incorporate ur sleeping habits and soon....

rimjhim said...

kya likhte ho tussee yaar!!!
khush kitaaii

aur sale is doc kee to aisee kee taisee...

u know this guy is writing thru all sayesha..u...chapat..and manby///and writing alvesa non-sense..MURKHRAJ hai ye!!!

keep writing for it puts a smile on many faces including mine!@@

dotty_pixie said...

my god! that was an informative article!
and i loved reading through it!

Tinku said...

So when is the baby expected to pee again?

btw interesting blog! ;)

Tinku

karthika said...

Hey..Dude...
Amazing post...hilarious to the core...keep up the good work...ur posts bring a smile in this stressed out world...:)

hey dont change I like u the way you are....:)

Leon said...

(horrified).. I take my words back.. Don't tag me pleeez.. I'm still reeling from the effects of the last two tags I had to do.. :D

HoliDevil said...

Good Post Dude!

Waise whats da reason behind sleeping from 3 to 4 ?

TC

karthika said...

Arre....1 hour sleep is enuf kya...?...okay i got it...u sleep during the lectures....so it will b more than enuf.....:)

amit said...

arre whts this tagging all abt.....hv been hearing fr sometime now....koi batayega cheez kya hai yeh

Vanathi said...

Good post...

!xobile said...

bachchey..... pissssssssssssss....
sss......pisssssssssssssssss...ssssssssssss...

(this sound makes bachchaas pee quickly..i dunno why !)

anyways
pisssssssssssssssssssssssss...

abhinav said...

@amyth - arre amyth bhai , have you tagged me actually ? i went over to your blog but cudnt find the tagging part.tell me , your life depends on it.:)

@anusha - thanx , though decoding your name took my underdeveloped brain some 3 minutes.

@jeff - my pleasure buddy.I enjoyed typing it.

@sandy - all the best fr cat bhai !

@khushi - whoa !haha..umm..umm.somebody tell me , what am i supposed to say / do now...

@susubala - dnt wrry , they shall survive.god is nice.

@divya - yeah , i guess it makes me look like an owl , but then i look like an owl anyways.welcome to owl-hood.

@rinku - arre rinku jee , mujhe to khud likhne mein masti aati hai , so likhta hun.ab agar aap bhi khush hote ho , to yeh to sone pe suhaga hua.

@nivindiya - thanx.happy bday again.

@tinku - arre , piss is not some Tv serial which has some fixed time yar.piss happens.it happens anytime.watch out.

@karthika - ok i wont change ever.ill be the same stupid , lazy , moron , idiot.but then everybody tells me to change and improve and grow up ?

@leon - ahaan leon bhai , bachke rehna re baba.bada danger insaan hoon main.

@HD - man , my english is dying.i meant i GO TO SLEEP between three n four.my fault !

@karthika - upar ka reply dekh little girl.

@amit - abbe lakho u dnt know tagging.ok , its not PSPO after all.Now u gonna write 20 facts abt urself.bas jyada matt bheja ka , chup chaap likh de mere laal.

@vanathi - thanks .

@mani - uwaaaan uwaaaaaaan uwaaaaaaaaaan......pissssssss....aaaaaaah.

Blog World said...

A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist.
Stewart Alsop- Posters.

The Bhandari's said...

Funny indeed........ chalo bahut ho gaya. dose for a day... I can't read anymore or my collegues might call ambulance to carry me off....... jokes apart now I shud do some work. Am in office yaar and officially I shud work;) ........... but never mind I'll drop in again after lunch or so

romram said...

U write really good crap... its getting more and more interesting.. :D

iksentrik said...

hi ......

I was just crawling through this blogspace to which I am the "new guy".

Came across urs.. couldn't read much , though a little of what I read looked interesting.

( I was going blind by the third para I attempted. This color scheme does not seem the most appropriate to me. )

Hope to read more bits and pieces, if you change yr black background to something other.

bye

just_a_girl said...

hey!! nice post .. :)
hahaha.. and u were so overwhelmed witth getting so many comments..
LOL

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Alita Duplanty said...

amazing Make Chris Cairns or Mangal pandey ur ido