Friday, March 24, 2006

Pachycephalous ka naam Pachycephalous kyun hain ?

Yeh hai IIM C ka Dramatics Cell . I am the guy with the yellow arrow near his chin . I was the light boy ( I called myself Illumination manager ) for English play and played the role of a tomato plant in the Hindi play. Ok , majjaking , I played the role of a normal homo sapien in the hindi play . Completely unrelated bakwaas ahead.

~~~~~~~~

Since the day I got placed , I have been going around Calcutta with the desperation of a postman . That's pretty natural when I have access to time ( MBA over hai pappa !) and money ( job lag gayi na pappa !) . So I thought it would be another day involving hot pizzaz , ice tea , smiling at Pizza Hut girls , metro rides , garlic bread , a movie maybe , a lot of joking and careless talk when I met up with a friend as a part of my "Main-delhi-ja-raha-hun-mil-le" process.

"Abbe oye , let us go to Pizza Hut."

"Nah , we are going to Science City."

Science City ? I had sudden flashes of NCERT books , water cycle diagrams , beakers , a resounding zero in a particular class 7 physics test , and the reproductive system diagrams we used to look at with interest and confusion as young boys . Science City ? I confirmed , half hoping it would be 'signs' city atleast , something more removed from water cycles . Nopey dopey , Science City it was . Mild protests from my side , including a sigh longer than Shoaib Akhtar's run up and a self immolation threat were conveniently ignored and we hopped into a cab to head for Science City .

Now , just the look of the place is enough to send one into bouts of serious introspection over the utility of your being alive if you are not a scientist . A planeterium with a shape so complex an average guy would spend a major part of the year searching for its entrance . Trollies move across hanging from high cables . One of the buildings is in the shape of a Huge Dinosaur where people enter through its mouth and exit from the , well , umm , the opening meant to emit stools I guess ( not the stool you sit on ) , given my rather limited knowledge of dinosaurs and their shitting process .

One of the first things we hit was the mirror maze . It is this hall where we enter a maze made of mirror walls . If I have to compare it to a very filmy concept , its like the proverbial "Jurm ka daldal" , jahan log aate to apne marzi se hain , but wapis nahi jaa paate ( add the wicked laugh yourself ) . We spent quite some time trying to get out of there , but kept running into deadends and walking into mirrors . What with so many mirrors around me , I was surrounded by atleast four specimens of myself at any time , which is real terrible and un-photogenic company to be with . After a lot of yelling "abbe left le yahan se !" , "Uee ma , yeh to wahin aa gaye" , "Bhai sahab , bahar kaunsi sadak jayegi ?" , we managed to find our way out . I have never been so glad to not see me .

Then she took me to the Space Theatre . I took the tickets from the counter and the counter guy said "4 baje ka show hain". I half wanted to ask him "Heroine kaun hai dada ? " followed by a sly wink , but considering the name "space theatre" did not exactly smell of a traditional bollywood movie with its share of skin and blood , I dropped the idea . I don't know what happens to you , but my intestines twisted in a desperate sigh when the big screen burnt bright with a huge "Dr.James Kuch-to-tha presents - SEASONS. " For the next thirty minutes , Dr.James Jo-tha-woh-kyun-tha showered us with gyan on why seasons change and why winter comes after autumn and why polar bears have a lot of fur . Thankfully , my 'science-is-fun' friend tore open a pack of chocolate covered cashews , which was blissfully munched upon by me while extremely disturbingly close pics of grasshoppers and their mating habits were explained in detail by Dr.James Jo-bhi-tha-accha-hua-ab-nahi-hai .

We came out and I was determined to do something more human and routine this time around . I suggested we buy ice creams and enjoy them sitting on one of the benches lining the lawn. "Arre nahi munnu , time nahi hain , 3D show shuru hone wala hain !". Before I could run away and seek solace in the ice cream wallah's arms , I found myself sitting in a dark hall with a blank screen before me . A guy who had the "kya-re-tu-bhee-ban-gaya-murga" smirk came in and handed us big plastic glasses which were supposed to create 3D images out of a flat screen . In five minutes , the hall resembled a blind school classroom , though my personal opinion remains I looked more like a 1970-ish-Rajesh Khanna and Raamdulari did not look like a 1970-ish Dimple Kapadia in those oversized plastic goggles . A lot of skulls and snakes and rats jumped out at us from the screen and the kid sitting a couple of seats to my left screamed every time that happened . Now I really like kids . So much that in spite of my latest plan to never get married , I intend to adopt a boy or maybe go in for a test tube baby where my kid will be born in a laboratory amongst a lot of beakers and apparatus with scientists shouting "eureka" instead of the boring "ladka hua hain". So as the crowd filed out , the chacha Nehru in my woke up and I patted the little kid on his head , raised my eyebrows till they touched the back of my neck and said in the most round mouthed bengali I could imagine "Majo aabo ?" ( My imagined bengali for "Had fun ?") . The kid gave me a look reserved for a guy in immediate need of a plastic surgery and a 15-day bengali speaking course and walked away . I tried to salvage some pride by smuggling out the plastic goggles but even that was thwarted by the alert bengali public.

We also had a ride in a toy train where we had to wave down the train and get on it . We went into that dinosaur shaped building through its mouth lined by yellowed sharp teeth which suggested Mommy Dinosaur did not know of Pepsodent at all . Inside the entire evolution thing was depicted by way of dinosaur models which moved , growled , burped and if that was not a speaker placed at the wrong place , farted . My friend explained why Pachycephalous was called that , which effortlessly lapped up the best 'oh-yeah-yawn-im-listening-yawn' moment of the day' award . Towards the later part of the day , we even walked around the Fish house where we saw a lot of fish. One of the fish was called Tiger Fish . My friend told me it was a cross between a tiger and a fish . The next tank contained Horse Fish and the one next to it had crocodile fish . I extended the "tiger fish=cross between tiger and fish" logic to all of these and gasped at the extent of fish community's loose character suggested by it .

But to be honest , all in all , I look back at the day with a lot of fondness and warmth. I have been to Pizza Hut , Inox , Tangerine , Teej and a lot of other bustling places over the last week , but to have a day at the science city with a close buddy had an unassuming beauty of its own . Even if such places look a little nerdy , I walked away with a feeling of comfort and warmth no multiplex or mall evokes in me . Maybe it's just because when I was a kid , Dad used to take me to the Nehru Planetorium in Delhi and we used to sit in the theatre and he used to point out milky way and the constellations to me while me and my sister fought over less celestial things such as popcorn.Even if there are no bowling alleys and no dolby sound four screen theatres around , sipping a simple ice tea while sitting on a bench on a breezy evening seems a lot more relaxing to me .Even if there were not many eyeliner-gloss-lipstick types girls around , I did learn why Pachycephalous is called that.

58 comments:

precise.movie.reviews said...

aaj ham first hoon??? ...
je baat...
bhai science museum se toh woh Delhi ka Rajeev Gandi walla yaad aa gaya...wahin jahan bachpan mein school trip se jaate the...aur bacche escalator par fudak fudak kar khush ho jaate the...

haaay..delhi meri jaan :P

LovingAndLosing said...

:) Funny and sweet.

I'm almost surprised India has something like that! Impressive. I think I need to get back soon!!!

Shekhar said...

Very sweet post. Me not very sure whether I'll be going to Science City on my trip to Cal next month, but I guess a trip to Nandan shall make up for it instead (hey, u been there?)

And btw, you could've tried "Bhaalo laaglo?" instead of the horrendous whatever u told the poor child.

Neha Sinha said...

Ahaa..Got it! idea bura nahi hai...I can visit the science city this time...orkut se better hai ;)

btw, yeh pachycephalous hai kya?:o very hansome name! :D
:))

Anonymous said...

Hi..
I really loved the way you write..These days I am quite increasing moron counts on your webpage.

Surya Ragunaathan said...

"Dr.James Jo-bhi-tha-accha-hua-ab-nahi-hai" Hilarious!! was good read, reminded me of my school picnics - yes, they actually took us to Nehru Planetorium almost atleast everywhere

Anonymous said...

you look constipated in that pic :P

Anonymous said...

heehee.. hilarious as usual dude..
the first time i went to any planetarium was in Mumbai..then Bombay..way back in 1987. Indira Gandhi Planetarium. And when the show started, they showed 2 huge creatures..supposedly the aliens.. which scared the hell out of me. but years later i realised they resembled more of "raakshasas" after watching Ramanada Sagar's Ramayana..

scorpionkingblog said...

Good start of weekend for me by reading u r blog ..
Its send me in roller coaster of laugh ..
Keep on posting ..

Scorpion King

Tee said...

nice blog..nice way with words..you could've been one of those writer's in the making..still i liked the way you write..will keep visiting back for more good work..keep it up..

Anonymous said...

Munna I see all the signs of u turning into a paleontologist.. great thing u spent a day doing something useful..The snap is so small and with the georgia tech guy in far right corner occupying half the space getting a view of u is tough.

Cheers...and have a great time

Phoenix said...

ITC mein naukri lagne se log nerdy ho jaate hain kya?

Anonymous said...

I am glad you managed to 'think beyond the IIMs'! Nice pick on little pleasures of life.

Anonymous said...

Great read...i was laughing all the way.....

Anonymous said...

Hey ...that just goes to prove how 'fun' can never be orchesterated....(sorry for the huge word :P) ..lekin sahi hai buddy ...i thought I would dread my day out in the new 'town' but it was a lot of fun too... :) (my latest post).

And as always appke nazar se toh poori duniya hi 'glass nee mirror house' dikhti hai.....;)

Why so stuck up,as always, with 'pulling down yourself' ?? Its not like your humor is best expressed in self-loathing!!!

Keep writing :)

Anu Sharma said...

wase wo dead dianasaur khush ho gaya hoga apne jaisa ek weird living insaan is dharti pe exist karta hai...jake usko assurence de de ki uskaa naam nahi doobne dega...uske caleje me thandak aa jayegee!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Bhagu ! Abhi your two bits of bengali is not even bengali .. he he he he he :))

Tum bahut funny ho re !! :))

Sadak kya 'illusion room' se nikalti hai ;) Aur spelling kahan se chapa..yaad reh gaya aisa bhayanak word?? No offence to the mild and now resting creature...yeh toh apun logon ne usse itna bekar naam de dala size dekh kar !!

Khoob mauja kor cho :)

Anonymous said...

"..... but to have a day at the science city with a close buddy had an unassuming beauty of its own .".....kya baat hai munnu beta.......chal awesome u njoyed ....my sincere sympathy with ur friend.....teri company yaar....cool post

Raza said...

Came to know of your blog a day ago and all I have been doing since then is reading posts.

Looks like I will soon be in the list of folks competing to write early comments.

You are too good . Keep it going.

Anonymous said...

u bhuddu,
ye walla intro change kar...........".Ex-Computer Engineer . Now pursuing M.B.A at IIM Calcutta ".....................duffer walle se to muumy papa kya hum log bhi agree karte hai!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You have the amazing talent to laugh about almost anything...
wish I could learn to do that!

Ashish Gupta said...

//"I played the role of a normal homo sapien in the hindi play "

I was wondering if that 'sapien' was rightly placed! {in ref. to ur previouslly posted pic!}

=)) =)) =))

trash_u said...

:-)
"Fun in Science City"..hmmm
whenever I was told the plan of going to science city as a "picnic", i was reminded of "science marks" i used to get...
NO way ..!!
Have you ever heard "F" grade winenr in history going to Museum ..

"F" grade winner in arts going to "modern art gallery" ...

SO..?? how can u expect err....
but of No avail.. i was dragged with the family . to the
" knowledge walla tour.."
but in between the tour only .. the officials had to request my father to get me out of the building . as it turned out to be "the sleeping scientist" inseide me woke up and i ended up "tweaking" with a lot of "models"..!! and saddly the tweaked-model never worked for the baanda behind me...

SIgh.. signing a contract with the science centre authority " not to enter again" .. with my photo provided to the guard at entrance door.. SWOOT at SIGHT order..

I think science centres are not made for an "ingenious" "inventive" "tweaking" fella like me..
I was happy to win "F";s for rest of my schooling..

Ankit said...

Science museum sounds more like a school trip or the irritating work visits of my institute .

I wonder how u managed to have fun there????:-?

Anonymous said...

Ankit ji, abhinav jain is someone who will have fun even when he is at gun point......

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Hahaha...it almost makes me want to visit the Science City.
""Dr.James Jo-bhi-tha-accha-hua-ab-nahi-hai"
LOL!!! Bechara Dr. James.
Hey, you didn't tell the super interesting reason behind Pach...Pachy...Pachyceph...uhhh... nevermind. Bas reason bata do ko use yeh kyun kehte hain. :P

Anonymous said...

just keep writing...been reading ur blog regularly for the last 3 months...first time posting a comment...had a great laugh over that part about the loose character of fishes...me an mba student, so can easily relate to ur article...

Dreamcatcher said...

'Majo aabo??"
good grief you do need a crash course in Bengali.

Anonymous said...

i am surprised you forgot about the volcano show, that is, the time machine. and guess what? this is gonna be one of my fav snaps. reason? i just spotted him.....

lagta hai 1st ko aana hi padega milne. what say ya?

Niedhie said...

Hilarious :))
Well Mr. Soul, it's not "Majo aabo ?", it's rather said as "Moja aashlo?"

Good to know that it left a good taste in you. Do go and visit other equally amazing places in this break.

Tauqeer said...

yani k computer engineers ab MBA keriengye...yeh to dhooka hai engineering community k saath!!!

Vivekanand M said...

Hey
i got ur blog thro rediff....congratzz on ur placements...i was born in calcutta but then hav been travellin all over India n currently@NIT,Calicut...i luv the city tho...been years since i visited it n was glad 2 read abt it..thnx for the post :D...btw ur blog is the "BLOG OF THE WEEK" on ma blog :)

Anu Vardhan said...

Reminded me of the time we went to Birla Planetorium.. and my friends and i sat through the dinos movie ..making horrible sounds and dubbing for the Dinos with hindi movie dialogues(Mogambo Khush hua)... Never enjoyed Jurassic Park after that!
Cool Post!

Bishu said...

Hi discovered your blog in one of the nothing-to-do-in-the-office days.Since then it is one of the must reads...although still struggling to put up a serious face while reading in the office.Wish you all the best at ITC...hope that in the next few months Wills sales (or is it Annapurna atta ?) will go up.

Carry on Munnu.

Anonymous said...

"....while me and my sister fought over less celestial things such as popcorn"

Says it all about your fondness towards sceince !! reaally really good post !!

Raghu.

Shriedhar said...

[b]
Hahaha :D

so wot wud be ur testtube baby's name??(that eureka wallah :))
i hv a suggestion

if boy RKMADDYZ
if gal RKMIDDIEZ

howz daaat ?? :)

SonnyBoy said...

Oye! Whos the fair one in blue jeans??? ;-p

unnut said...

Abhinav,
Stumbled upon your blog by chance couple of weeks ago, and I am happy for that. Since then I have been reading your blog in a reverse chronological order! I have reached till June 9, 2005!
I have had quite a few smiles when I read your writings, and I thank you for that.
Anand

Suds said...

Are Abhi bhai good post. Keep it coming. Enjoy.

Anonymous said...

kyun bhai is baar bhi century ka wait kar rahe hai aap reply dene ke liye??/
going gr8 guns , huh!!!!

Confused said...

I had gone to planetarium long way back. I had slept off peacefully for the entire show. Were u awake? May be Einstin's theory of relativity is true. Nice post dude.

Anonymous said...

Have lived in Cal all my life and have never had so much fun reading about Science City - you really have a talent mate! (No I wasnt referring to ur N-figure-pay-packet, it was for the writing skills!)

Anonymous said...

Hey I get to take the score to 50 !!

Lolz !! :))

Anonymous said...

waise toh have been a regular reader since long, and have had many laughs on several past articles, this time it was really ROFL.i swear.
~the depthsofhell.

me said...

as usual, ekdum firsht killas post....sayin tht it waz very funny wud b an understatement."I patted the little kid on his head , raised my eyebrows till they touched the back of my neck" -plz dont write such serious lines, padh ke kuch zyada hi hassi aati hai n ghar waale thode tension mein aa jaate hain...hehe.
n yes wat is pachycephalous and how is it pronounced.....oh my gaud, i had to try so hard to pronounce it bt im sure i waz wrong.

Kaps said...

hehe :)
dating shating haan? :)
ab to dinosaur ke andar jana hi padega

Debi Mishra said...

Achha laga padhke ... thoda kam hasa..phir bhi chalega...bhai dating pe ja rahe the..ye story lgta hai ek bahahn tha...

jo bhi ho keep postingg...

Thanks
debi

Anonymous said...

Hi Abhi,

Saw u r Blog when I searched for IIM yday and I got so interested that I cudnt
resist but read all your previous blogs..It was a really wonderful Xperience and
cant imagine how some one can be this Funny..Congrats for the job and wish u Gud luck..

~ Me

Anonymous said...

Hi,

Remember Nov 25, you had written

"My group members are planning to visit ITC.What we will do is get to the company,try to get in and grab a couple of lazy and jobless blokes in there and ask them sum amazingly stupid questions like " Who is a leader " and submit their answers as a report."

Look where you got your Job..ITC
Thats Life..

Exactly one year back, My supervisor asked me to go to Chennai from Bangalore for a new Project. I didnt like the idea of shifting from Bangalore and all night I was thinking how bad the place would be coz I didnt have any idea of Chennai.

One year in Chennai has changed every thing and my outlook in life..I love this City..

Its just that God has plans for every one..

I am just trying to convey the idea that even unknowingly you had mentioned lazy and jobless blokes in ITC..There are none..It only has brilliant and hard working ppl like you..

~ Me

Anonymous said...

Add me to ur fan's list..


Anil Sharma

anil_y_sharma@yahoo.com

Arun Pillai said...

cool ,enjoyed reading ur post..
keep up good work and thanks for ur time .

Dew Drops said...

Man ……… u aren’t as scary as I thought you would be. I didn’t faint seeing your pic. (Didn’t dare look at the enlarged one, though. Why take risk ??!!!) :-)

SUNMAY said...

one more !

Anonymous said...

abhi teri fan list ka koi ant hoga?
post kab karega..

Abhi said...

@nipun - haan mamu , uss mirchi jagah ka to escalator bhee dhamaka tha.bass jaa raha hu teri jaan dilli ab.

@anon - jai lakshmi mata.

@anon - fir se jai lakshmi mata.

@anon - kitni baar bolu 'jai lakshmi mata' ?

@vids - yeah man , come back and smell the sweet mitti of home.ghar aaja pardesi.

@shekhar - nopey man , havent moved around calcutta too much.bass campus se park street and park street se campus mostly.u coming over anytime ?

@lotus dew - abe teri , good likha hai ya fuljhadi jalayi hain ? khatam hee nahi ho raha tha.

@pandu - haan haan bada handsome hai , aur pada likha bhee.baat chalau mausi aapki pachecyphalous se ? banna hai mrs.pachecyphalous ?

@confused soul - thanks man.confusion kya hai waise ?

@surya - I know.When I was a kid , I though nehru was an astronomer.

@anon - Yeah , kayam churan doesnt work always.

@amyth - :) , happens bhai , an eraser looks scary to kids.you grow up , and you can survive something as scary as kareena kapoor.

@scorpion king - will try.

@tejal - really ? u think I can be a writer ? I am noting down your name in my yellow pad.will thank you at my booker acceptance speech.:)

@vinodh - dint have the heart to put up a bigger picture.would have scared the under 18 audience here.

@phoenix - kyun ? maine kaunsa satellite invent kar diya jo mujhe nerdy bolti hain ?

@shagun - haha.dont get me into that IIPM thing now.

@xpressions - aha.Am glad you had a good time.

@chimera - main kya karu yaar ? kisi aur ka mazak banata hu to wo bura maan jaata hain.ek main khud hee hun jiska safely game baja sakta hun.

@anu - haan haan.and aur thanda karne ke liye tera address bhee de aya hu use.

@chimera - are paaro , uska to fir bhee decent naam tha.baakiyon ka sunti to aansu gir jaate tere naino se.

@jaggu - I really dont understand whats so nice about hot girls and nightclubs bhai ? maybe i am abnormal , but I don't want to be at some nightclub with a hot girl.I will rather be at a peaceful place with a cool buddy.

@anon - nah nah chinta nah.she survived the experience.is much better now.and hates me now.

@syed - thanks syed sahib.The pleasure is mine.I enjoy doing this.

@anon - hata saawan ki ghata.ek to dhangi baat hai poore intro mein , wo bhee hata dun.duffer samajhta hai mujhe ?

@anon - you can laugh at almost anything right now man.Just stop giving a thing more importance than it deserves.

@ashu - yeh toilet humor ki aadat bhee na ! cable Tv band karao ladke ka.

@trash u - aaah.dont worry man.The genius is hard to recognise for this world.

@ankit - I know.Mysteries of this world.

@anon - abbe teri , mere baare mein itni insider info ? bata kiske liye kaam karta hain tu !

@girl-who-sold-the-world-and-dint-collect-the-money : accha jee , hum science city jaakar research karein and results aise hee bata de aapko ? khud jao , reason jaan jao !

@anon - cool bro.which college ?

@DC - not now.leaving calcutta.can survive with majo aabo now.

@sunshine - nah yaad tha.just that it was nothing compared to being inside that dinosaur.

@niedhie- Yeah I did visit some equally 'fun' places in the meantime.The high point remains bumping into pachecyphalous bhaiyya.

@tauqueer - miyan hamari engineering ki kabiliyat se mukhtasir hotein to meharbaani kehte ise engineering community par . ( yaar mukhtasir hee hota hain na wo lafz ?):)

@viive - blog of the week ? Thanks man.I feel like the number 1 song on philips top ten now.

@organisedchaos - haha ! Thats a neat idea.Creative people you have with you.

@bishu - thanks man.dont know about the division yet , so cant say kis division ka mausam badalne wala hain.

@amida - hello ? hello ? some disturbance in line.call later please.( abbe tujhe kaise pata chala yeh khufiya raaz ? )

@raghu - thanks bro.

@sridhar - am not sure.I always liked the name glycerine for my daughter and baking soda if its a boy.Thanks for the touching suggestions though.

@sonnyboy- sudhar ja !

@anand - thanks anand.Though I do this because I enjoy doing this , am glad you had a decent time reading it too.

@suds - thankuzzz.

@anon - wahi to kar raha hun - reply !

@sree - yeah , the chocolates kept me from falling over into the row ahead of me.

@lolita - nicely said.

@nikhil - Thanks nick.

@chimera - hailla ! congratulations sachin tendulkar ki female version.:)

@depthsofhell - Thanks.your id is not so sunny.wassup ?

@me - teri science teacher se baat karni hai mujhe !bacchi ke concept kahan hai dinosaurs wale ?

@kaps - not a date mate.Just a day with a friend.

@debi - abe date nahi thee yaar.I don't go on dates.Koi hai hee nahi Calendar wali dates ke alawa.

@tariq - thanks fr the wishes bhai.and I had sacchi mein forgotten about that post ! Thanks fr connecting the dots man.yeah , ways are strange.:)

@anil - come on , no fans or celebrities around here man.I am just another lad , with some free time and a keyboard.

@arun - my pleasure , arun.

@DD - dont do that.never.do that with your enemies only , but even that would be too cruel.

@sunmay - one more ? abhi to ek baccha bhee nahi hua mera ...

@anon - karta hu na mamu.life mein dass cheeze hai ash maarne ko.karta hu yar.

Anonymous said...

Hi there, I stumbled across ur blog on rediff.com and got hooked.

Good luck on the job front. Dont change too much after u enter the rat race of the corporate world !

Anonymous said...

Hi Abhi..
An usual request..
we had a batch mate back in school.. He went to ya college(IIMC).. Abhisek sharman.. We don seem to trace him NE more.. Is he passing with u guys !
my names Sthita..
P:S - i do make pretty rude comments on ya blog.. but i do appriciate at times ;-) as long as u NOt cliched' take Care Dude...

Yash said...

may be i am too late in commenting..but you may see a glimpse of entire indian film industry dialogues here :
http://www.hindimoviedialogues.blogspot.com