Sunday, May 27, 2007

Truck Truck Truck !

choI feel John Denver must be in a very brave mood when he crooned “Country Roads, take me home” . Because in around twenty days since I moved back to home after three years , I notice that adjusting to home is not exactly as easy as singing a song . Though with a voice like mine , singing a song is not easy either.

Of course, I need to be a politician to deny the good things with coming at home .Round the clock food , a car to drive, and a TV remote which can be procured after a briefly violent argument with sister are the perks which come with it. But in this entire exercise , there is one entity which considers me stupid , careless and in urgent need of a attitude restructuring – Mum.

If all the things mum tells me could be written in a book , these days she is writing a big chapter called ‘Abhi-The worst and most rash driver in the world’. Whenever I slip in the driving seat with mum buckled in the seat next to me , I know I am in for a lecture on how to drive , from a lady who incidentally , doesn’t know driving herself . I would be cruising down the road as smooth as a Katrina’s leg , when she would suddenly pip up “Munnu ! Truck Truck Truck !”. I would hit the brakes instantly , the car behind me would swerve and the driver would give me the ‘I-will-eat-your-kids-next-time-you-do-that’ as he passes me by , and then I would turn to my mom and ask “Where is the killer truck !”. “Did not you see such a monster , it just zoomed away !” , she would say pointing to the road on the other side of the divider .And so my mom would keep imagining all the truck drivers in Delhi are paid to fly over the dividers and crush us to a road painting and since I could not imagine that , I am a the agent of death when it come to driving. I mean , while we are watching the TV together , she would suddenly start shaking her head and say “I still can’t believe how you almost killed that cyclist this morning” , and I would silently wonder ‘Cyclist ? Who cyclist?”.

And she has warned me that if I eat any more maggi , she would tell Dad how I once burned his tie as a kid . Now , when a single guy stays away from home for three years , you can be sure he is deriving half of his nutrition from Maggi , the other half coming from booze and dope. And suddenly mom wants me to give maggi up and get back to the world of aloo mutter and chapattis . I can almost visualise the strands of maggi crying out "Nahi munnu ,after all that we have been through ,tum aise nahi jaa sakte!" , reaching out to me valiantly as my mum pulls me away from them mercilessly.

And of course , then there is the precious question most mothers start to consider once their sons start bringing home boxes of peanuts known as salaries – When should I get him married ? In my case , to add to the colors , I have already been through a marriage which almost happened before things got wrong , so she has some added side-questions to consider .

Anyway , I will leave my mum to the noble task of turning me into a safe driving , aloo mutter eating husband and get back to striking things off my To-Do list for today . On a personal note , life has been a collage of to-do lists , planning how to boost sales for Bingo , managing things at home in absence of Dad , and trying to watch Star Movies when Mom wants to watch Star Plus and sister wants to watch Sony .

So I am off to the market for some work now .And mom , do not worry , I am not taking out the car , I will just walk down.

45 comments:

Ravemz said...

Couldn't resist being the first one.

M G Harish said...

Nice :) as usual

Crazy Dhakkan said...

Good to see you back! :)

Aur ab agar internet connection aas paas ho toh zara regular rehna! :D

Crazy Dhakkan said...

//planning how to boost sales for Bingo

iske liye koi dhang ki ad banao yaar.. kitni sadi hui commercial aati hai! :P

Ideas chahiye toh hire me! :P

Anonymous said...

//planning how to boost sales for Bingo

just get'em to the shops
the ads are good
but Bingo! Bingo is nowhere to be found (pun intended)

sushant said...

great to see u back onboard !!

shweta said...

do i need to say smethng...???jst adding on to ur "to-do list"...!!!
shwets

Garam Bheja Fry said...

oii lagta hai bhott jaldbaazi me likhi hai ye post!!

Agli baar aaloo-matar ki photo chaap dena..
aur sun yaar mai aajkal itna gareeb hoo ki maggi ke 'sachet' khareedta hu khaane ko..isiliye kabhi call kar liyo..abhi 1 maheena hai uske baad kuch paise aayenge mere paas.. :(

arshat said...

Half nutrition from maggi and the other half from dope and booze...hahahaha...
er..you are not serious about the dope are u?

shweta said...

as an afterthot ...u nd dope ...oopssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!aint i muzzling my eyes...!!oye learn cooking...not how u cook up stories,but food nd u can stay away frm tht janjals of maggi strands ;)

Take a Hike said...

So ,

Did u get to fool god?

Anonymous said...

Bingo's marketing has been good dude. The ads were great, packing was fabulous, and the I saw bingo in front of most retail stores in Mumbai. It got the public eye and mine too. I was dying to try the new thing from the company I'm big fan of but SORRY TO SAY the product sucks. Chips are worse than the local made ones, Lays are far ahead. Guess ITC need to work on it. Rest will take care of itself.

sumit middha said...

oyyye bablu ... main to apna blogger ID passwd hi bhul gya :(

arpana said...

:)

Arpz said...

please try and improve the product before u try and sel it :(

Anilz said...

Thank god !! , u r back :). kyun bhai start honese pehle hi post ka gala ghot diya. Keep cming ...

Shalu said...

Heyy Abbhhiii... Yeaa this is howw girlz always prnounce.. rite?? hehehe.. KNww whttt ...Have been a regular of your blog since last 1 month..Read all your safar frm joining MBA to getting back home after 3 longg years..
And u wo'nt believe.. I was also in Calcutta in the same time duration and has watched RDB in same INOX on the same day Amir visited..
Umm.. I know this is all crapp to say butt just wondering how many times our paths might have been crossed !!
Knw whttt.. you speak outt my mind!!
I just wonder how smone can be so much like me.. Like my AlterEgo?!?!
Anyways there is soo much to sayy..
but wud say only that you are wonderful and I love you !!
mmmuuaaahhhhhhh...
Shalu

The Soul of Alec Smart said...

Hey! Great post. Been reading for a long long time. Can I add you to my blogroll?

Anonymous said...

Even my maatey keeps on realizing me my uselessness every second :((!I bet the day i will learn driving,she ll sit beside me with helmet on! :(

Neways,Hav a gud time ;)!

-Deepa!

Neo said...

The other day i went for a gaming contest in bangalore...it was sponsored by BINGO ! and they were giving BINGO ! for free .....bahut khaye breakfast mein - BINGO, lunch mein - BINGO ! aur toh aur jo khuch bhai ghar par the unke liye bhi bori bhar kar BINGO ! le gaye, paid the cab ka kiraya with BINGO !! " Bhaiya change nahi hain, yeh lo BINGO ! rakh lo". Quite a Bingo ! day it was .....i think woh mustard wala flavour sabse mast hain, i liked it :)

Gulabo said...

;))

its me said...

do you have TWO Teeeveeee's now :D
hehehehehe

gunj said...

bingo ads suck....before they can even say its a chips ka ad....we hav already switched channels!

Anonymous said...

I love you

Revathi said...

I can almost visualise the strands of maggi crying out "Nahi munnu ,after all that we have been through ,tum aise nahi jaa sakte!"
oh man!!that was hilarious. i just imagined that scene in my head and couldnt help falling outta the chair laughing!!good one..

Revathi said...

and ahem!!!doesnt look like u need to look far for a bride..just track down anonymous above me!!heh heh!!

Anonymous said...

its basic human decency to reply to emails. i thought u wanted to do a good deed. So much for "even attempting" to fool god!
Shweta

Binu "the mallu" Ninan said...

oy... nice post man..
and ads of bingo r too good... i wish we cud make some like them :)

Anonymous said...

NOt upto Abhinav Jain's standards this time :(

Ellie said...

Hey! please do tell me you have some hand behind those ads!! Good ones especially the gladbangles/mad angles wala..:-)

divya said...

jain! ur in delhi already and u havent sent me the new no. i`m gonna be really angry with u wen ya call next. anyways hows u?? and i still cant believe ur manager in kerala let u go so fast.

p.s: i`m a full fledged engineer now!!

Confessions of a Born Procrastinator said...

he he..

been there done that...

My mums got the habit of screaming "HORN HORN" every time she sees the hint of a curve in the distance... She is so paranoid that she makes sure she checks the news channels for wind patterns in order to accomodate for the extra swing that i willl have to put in on the next curve.

yabba... wat do you do with such mumz...:)

Zee said...
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Zee said...
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Somya said...

hilarious post...lol...I can really empathise with your mom...my mum who forget abt driving doesn't even know how to ride a cycle...when we bought our new car pointed out that the glaring engineering mistake by the maruti ppl...that the bumper is teda..wow! me n dad had hard time trying to ctrl our laughter.

Aparna Kar said...

Munnu beta, count your blessings. Your wife could be worse. Or your mother-in-laaa. And if she freaks out... Haa haa haa ( Ajgar Singh ki behen Ishtyle. Is Ramu planning to cast one? Maybe that could fix the jinx on the movie)
Ok back to the post, if she decides to send you to some correction school for juvenile derivers.. umm ho.. we won't be getting a post here. Na jee.. censor board wali biwi baithi jo hongi. Aur "not even remote access to remote control for one month for upsetting my mom"

Thank your stars bacche.

sweetsmile said...

hi.. i got introduced to ur blog by fren.. kal raat ko pehli baar padha aur bas comp band karne ka man hi nahi ho raha tha...
seriously nice stuff.. till now read all ur posts n liked each1..

nasia said...

Itna typos kyun :-( Spell check nahin kiya kya?..

Anonymous said...

u r cool dude.....describing the sad dozes of life in a hilarious sweet yet bitter wine..!!!

Risha said...

just when I started missing home, I stumbled on your blog!! good read :)

nidhee said...

thank your stars. my brother still gets a tapli or a rap at the back of his head when he drives rash ( i am the judge there).

Someone once told me that when a girl becomes a mother, logic goes for a six.... how true. I can foresee a blog around 20 years from now complaining ...only diff ... i will be the star of the post.

Anonymous said...

the bingo ads suck!!
please do something about it..they are detrimental to the health of the general public!

ankita said...

Awesome tha dude...totally...i have to declare you to be my idol for blogging and I m taking my tips for sure so b happy u r finally my official idol for blogging....yipeee

sadia said...

The movie I had been dying to watch, the three page long article I jus HAVE to read would have to come around exactly on my final exam day and I couldn’t resist till I had actually read them and then sat down for exam prep and cursed myself for wasting time doing the very irresistible.

Ever since I had started working, this was one thing that did not bug me at all. For beginners I never take work home and hence can watch read whatever I fancy. And even at workplace there wasn’t any such “irresistibility “around apart from free phone line. Since we have restricted access to internet; surfing wasn’t an option. But I fine Friday, out of curiosity and to remember my very own Old blogs I checked out blogspot and figured that we could access it. Yippee!!! But that too was a time pass till I came upon your blog by chance. Now this is something irresistible.

I have been reading and laughing out loud. Though I am not a miser when it comes praising someone but you truly deserve it.

Regards,
Sadia

sadia said...

PS: excuse my grammer and stuff....as this was written in various stages