Saturday, June 30, 2007

Sawaal Apke , Jawaab humare

So , a blogger called Aparna tagged me . And you know me , I am the sort of 18th century quixotic chivalrous gabru jawan types guy who would challenge the entire deol family to "do-do haath" if a lady asks me to do that .And completing a tag is much simpler than protecting my physical well being against Dharam 'Garam' Paaji , Bobby 'Soldier' Paaji and Sunny 'Dhai killo ka haath' Paaji , so here I go.


1. Pick out a scar you have , and explain how you got it .

Mar jaawa mirchi kha ke , these guys are talking about painful memories right away . I have a strong belief that any decent young man without a history of police encounters or public beatings should not have any scars on his 'jism' ( Waise compared to the word 'body' , the word 'jism' sounds as cheap as the fromt row ticket of Sonia Cinema Hall na ? ) . So after a prolonged examination of the wonderland that my body is , I proclaim I have no scars on my body . I know the question demands I find a scar and even talk about how I got it as if it's the world cup trophy , but then what do I do if I have no scars ? Ab blog post ke liye I won't go around asking people "Bhai saab , please stab me thoda sa , I need to write about the scar in my blog ."

2. What does your phone look like ?

Whoever designed this tag must have been a girl . And when I say girl , I mean the 100% girly girl , who screams 'Cho chweeeeeeet' everytime looks at a baby ( Itni excite ka 'cho chweeet' bolti hai ki baby diaper mein susu kar deta hain) . I mean , no male , unless he is under the influence of alcohol , would ask a question like "What does your phone look like?". But anyway , my phone looks like..umm..surprise...a phone ! . If you are still amazed , it has a keypad and a screen too ! . And it is as black as Janet Jackson. Chalo ho gaya. Ab phone ke baare mein aur kya documentary banau ? Phone hai ustaad , global warming nahi hain.

3.What is on the walls of your bedroom ?

Yaar yeh sting operation paltan tho bedroom tak chale gaye . Arre miyan , shareefo ka mohalla hain yeh , ek jawan ladke ke bedroom ke baare mein poochna kahan ki sharafat hain ?
Aaj bata detein hai bass , dobara mat poochna ( Oye yeh tho chlormint ka ad ho gaya.) - I have on the walls of my bedroom the face of an AC sticking out , a plastic mickey mouse smiling stupidly , and framed photographs of Pooja , Naina , Tara , Tina , Julie and Rita . A sensitive lad like me would always keep the pictures of his ex-girlfriends . Yaadein . Meethi meethi yaadein.

4. What is your current desktop picture ?

Arre ab kahan wo zamaana . If you had asked me this question when I was at hostel , then you would have got a rangeen reply . You know what kinda desktop pictures we keep when at home - sunsets , palaces , gardens , monuments , waterfalls etc etc . Waise right now I see my dad smiling at me on the desktop . Hi Papa .

5. Do you believe in gay marriage ?

Huh ? Oye gay marriage hain , koi UFO thode hee hain jo pooch rahe ho "Do you believe ?". I believe a marriage is a union of two minds , who then commit to tread the path of life together , facing all adversity and celebrating all joys together , and helping each other grow in the process . Gay or otherwise , the essence of a marriage is unaffected by such trivial issues . Subhan allah , ekdum miss world waala answer diya na !

6. What do you want more than anything right now ?

Watch Die Hard 4 . Looks like all my friends are either married or committed to find time to go out with me . All boys outings ka tho zamaana hee nahi raha . I am planning to take my mom to the movie after convincing her it's a comedy movie starring Akshay Kumar and Salman Khan . ( Yeah , my mom loved 'Mujhse Shaadi karogi' ).

7 . What time were you born ?

On a mildly cool afternoon that fateful day in October , 1981 , I was delivered into this world , with no indication of the fact that I was to grow up to become the wonderful and charming young man I am today . Within seconds of my being born , a pretty nurse with big eyes wrapped me into a soft white blanket . As she was turning back to get something else , I suddenly gripped her finger with my tiny palm , pulled her towards me and squeaked in my newly discovered voice - "Aunty , time kya hua hain ?."

You actually think all this happened ? Nahi na . So how am I expected to know what time it was when I was born ?

8. Are your parents still together ?

Oye ! Abbe western culture ke poster , humare India mein parents remain together . They are very much together and have no dangerous plans . Shaadi mein fevicol khaayi thi mummy papa ne , mazboot jod hain , tootega nahi.

9. Last person who made you cry ?

Me . I believe no one else can make me cry . Tears arise out of what I do with the thoughts in my head . ( Kaafi profound hain yeh jawaab , samajh na aye tho koi nahi )

10. What is your favorite perfume / cologne ?

Yaar main koi Page 3-socialite-fashion designer types hoon jo itna perfume conscious hunga ? Apna 100 rupye mein axe deo lekar use karta aa raha hoon saalo se .Ladkiyan tho ad mein hee attract hoti hain . Real life mein tho 'Namaste Bhaiyya' hee kehti hain.

11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex ?

Am a very adjusting and easy going person . You ask about the colors , even a lack of hair and eyes is totally cool with me ( Jyada bol gaya emotional hokar , maybe I won't be totally cool with a girl who looks like a blind Anupam Kher )

12. What are you listening to ?

'Bol na Halke Halke' from 'Jhoom Barabar Jhoom'. The first time someone told me there is a song which goes "Bol na Halke Halke" , I thought it was about a couple of engineering students whispering answers to each other during an exam.

13. Do you get scared of the dark ?

Not if there is Amrita Rao in the same room .

14. Do you like pain killers ?

Like ? What's there to like or dislike in a pain killer ? If there is pain , I take the pill . You don't expect me to 'like' pain killers and yell "Mummy ! Aaaj lunch mein aloo ke paranthe aur pain killers bana do ! Bott din ho gaye accha khaana khaye hue !."

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out ?

I am as 'besharam' as a C grade tamil movie . Aati kya Die Hard dekhne ? Ab bolna tho "aati kya khandaala' chahta tha , but abhi khandaala jaane ka mood nahi hain.

16 . If you could eat anything right now , what would it be ?

The guy who put so many questions in this tag . With some tomato ketchup.

17. Who was the last person you made mad ?

Mummy. I do that with alarming frequency.

18. Is anyone in love with you ?

Ladies , this question is for you. Aaju baaju mat dekh , baat dil ki bol daal.

Chalo abhi I need some help . If you are involved with any Pharmaceutical / Biotechnology company in or around Delhi , please let me know. Mail me at abhinavj8008@gmail.com . Thanks !

63 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ailaaaa firstttt!!!

Kasam gully k doggy ki,kabhi sapne mein bhi nahi socha tha firt comment maarungi! :D

*grabs the GOLD*

-Deepa!

Anonymous said...

first* :P Excitement factor u c!

dee said...

hey...
sach mein "huge" brain teaser tha yeh tag toh.... ;) but grt replies...
grt read as ever....

Anonymous said...

No Scarrr? :O :O :O..Bachpan mein mummy sweater k oopar shining armour pehnati hongi baahar jaane se pehle *sigh*!

Haye daiyan!Gay marriage!!Ab wo din door nai jab Nirupa roy types maa bolegi 'Beta!Ab main boodhi ho gayi hoon,jaldi se koi sundar susheel bahu ya sohna gabru jawan damaad ghar la..apne pseudo-pote ka muh dekh kar hi antim saans lu!' :P

Bol na halke halke is a really gud song..the wonly thing i likd in JBJ other than amitabh ka dance!!

Ab chain ki ninni aayegi :P!
Bbye!

-Deepa!

Nasia said...

MAN!!! So many questions,, wud hav been fun to answer.. None tagged me though!! :-(
liked the pain killer one.. LoL!

Jason said...

Abhi, this is really funny... LOL.. Make a great read...

*Secretly hoping someone tags you with a lot more questions*

sunshine said...

i am. i am. i am. this is regarding the last question. qubool hai, qubool hai, qubool hai... qubool qubool.. paise wasool....

Vijay said...

I hate Question Papers Without Choices ...

That was So Inhumane...

Acchi Englisss Boli na .....

Thankkooooo

Loser-in-Love said...

Hailaa!!

Yeh Aparna hai ya Mahabharat ka Arjun

in Sunny 'Paaji" style Question pe question, Chadha samjhao isse.

But, great answers Munnu, Tum Kishan kanahiya se kam nahin ho. I really liked the "time kya hua sister" wala answer.

Aur is kacchi umar me sirf 6 gf's.... moonh mat dikhiyo mujhe.

Caladrius said...

how did your 'to' become 'tho' with time.

e.g.Yaar yeh sting operation paltan tho bedroom tak ..

is it the kerela effect ?

Mirror99 said...

hai.......
itni comedy to aajkal hindi filmon me bhi nahi hoti....
bhai.....kahaan se late ho itn humour apne posts me.....
[:)]

Aparna Ganguly said...

1. No Scars?
Fair n Handsome ka ad kyu nahi karte :D
2. Bete Lal.. phone bole to - kis tarah ka.. Waise even I think the tag was designed by a girl :))
3.Pooja , Naina , Tara , Tina , Julie and Rita ... are you sure you didn't miss out a few names? Aisa hi haal raha to you'll have to build an extension to your room. Ek Aag bedroom ka wall chhota par jayega bhai
4. Good choice of wallpaper. Can't comment on this. Par apke hostel mein suna tha ladke aise bhi hotey the jo orkut se ladkiyo k pics download karke apni GF batate they. Don't know for sure.. just heard so..from one of the hostelers.
5. Marriage wala is an OHT. Didn't know Munnu beta is so romantic about marriage. * sniff sniff* Aankhon mein anshu aa gaye. Crown to tumhe hi milega :D
6. Have no movie date? It sucks! Ask me. But going out with parents is a better option anytime.

... baas aaj k liye kaafi.. baaki magajmaari phir kabhi karungi.

Aur extension karwa lena.. last wala aise eligible bachelor ka open invitation hai k ladkiya to ab high jump, long jump aur sprint karte huye tumhare bedroom tak aa jayengi.
Aunty ko yeh kehna k census report lene aayi hai
TCOY

Anonymous said...

Good post as usual. As for the help, i will note it in my to-do list like many other smart managers.

Some of the answers were pretty profound... you sure u came up with those? In case you did - humne ladke ke soojh boojh bhi note kar li hai.

>>should not have any scars on his 'jism' .

Cable TV kam dekha kar :P.


BTW there is another tag waiting for you :).

IncorrigibleV said...

hey great questions and supercool answers...
was fun to read
i liked 2,7 and 8 the most (the answers to em of course :P)

Unknown said...

is die hard 4 such a good movie??i mean u havent watched i know...but by the time u reply..to the comment if u`ve been lucky enough to find someone to go with u...u can lemme know. and remember only creeps go to movies alone heheh. i`ve mailed u the no yaar, now no more bahaanas.

Anonymous said...

Hi Abhi...
Nice and hilarious post as usual....u answered all the questions with the diplomacy that is so very well imbibed in an MBA student.
But u know something....some of your answers were so diplomatic that they were not exactly genuine....like the one where u were asked to answer "who made u cry last time" and "what do you want more than anything rite now".
Not criticising u....u have every rite to prevent ur personal life to become a topic of public reading....great replies...wish you always find a reason to smile and u get whatever u want, whenever u want!!! (including a company to watch Die Hard!!!)
One last thing...u had promised me in ur previous post that u'll post your snap in the next one....ditcher!!! :)

Me_wid_Myself said...

As ususal chhooooooo chweeettttt baby!! hahahahaha :).. Oye..Mujhse Shaadi karogi toh meri bi all time favorite movie hai..Dekh chhote abb toh auntie jee aurr meri choices bi milti hai.. Khoob jamegi hmaari!! Dekh le !! Chal tk care and luv ya !! Shalu

Rahul... in City of Dreamz said...

gr8 job with the poast as always dude... :)

Fathima Sagar said...

The answers r so good that I feel like writing some 100 questions and giving u for writing answers

Gunjan Aylawadi said...

aloo k paranthe aur pain killer was damn funny :D

Shanks_P said...

13. Do you get scared of the dark ?

Not if there is Amrita Rao in the same room .

Coool answer ...... Nice time to get afraid ;)

Ravish said...

apki post ke sath sath comments bhi kafi hasyaspad hote hai..bahut-e-mazaa aati hai apke blogs padhkar..

Anonymous said...

//Ladies , this question is for you. Aaju baaju mat dekh , baat dil ki bol daal.

boldoon? yaheen pe? :P

Rambler said...

suhan allah.. tum agar ladki hote(model types) to Miss universe jarur ban jaate(Q5, 8 and 11 ke answer to superb hai;-) aur Amrita Rao kaha se aa gayee? kya Tanushree ke din beet gaye? waise Abhi bhai Tanu ke koi boyfriend nahi abhi bhi samay hai.. koshish karane me kya jata hai ;-) aur is baar firse help maang rahe ho ab to blog ka title change kar hi do Helpdesk is more suitable.
PS : munnu saare replies padhke aisa lag raha hai ki jald hi tumhe ek aur phone (ladkiyoin ke no store karane) aur extra room (photos ke liye) lena padega. gr8 post as always.

neers said...

I've been a regular reader..totally love ur blog. Ur writing stlye is fab and the way u put things in such a humourous way is amazing!

btw, i have blogrolled u (reaching ur blog thru a few other blogs time and again was a lil bugging :p )
hope u dont mind..

Confessions of a Born Procrastinator said...

he he...

the pain killer one was good

Anonymous said...

hey had fun reading..
i must say that u enjoy writing..jo bhi dimag mein aye sabse pehle...that ways..
keep going !!

ketki said...

long tag,really.
but answers were truely, "choooooooo chweeeeettt!"

Revs said...

ha ha ha ha..hilarious!!(as always) :)

pax said...

i read all ur blogs!!!yeah i got lots of time on my hand.....dont seem to do anything othr thn read online or become a chirkut on orkut.... mom says thy shud pay me..whtevr...one question fr u.....


you married yet???;)

Me_wid_Myself said...

I know this is highly stupid of me to think like that !! Parr last saturday hee I watched Indian Idol for the very first time.

And I really thought that you must be a look a like of that kid Emmon. Shooo shweet he is. His smile is really good and I just believe that you also have a cute smile. All Librans have !! Hai naa.. You are libran naa ?!?!
~Shalu

Shruti said...

Hi dear,
Hmm, again maza aa gaya..your writing style really rocking man...
I am thinking, what make you think to think so much. :)

Anyways, take care

Anonymous said...

funny shit!

Anonymous said...

Great going....keep it on......it's a lot more than a blog for many of us.

n~

Anonymous said...

Aaaj tak main yeh soch tha aa raha tha ki its the girls who gets so many comments on their blogs.Whether they ask for it or not comment hazir hain but standard note karo ladke ka itne comments toh kisi site ke feedback column main bhi nahi hote :)

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

NONsense of humour - awfully awesome man !

Anonymous said...

Hey Abhi..amazing blog...par please now write another blog na....I have read this Bolg so many times ...ab kuch doosra...plssssss...:)

Anonymous said...

umm,
ur landscape is so deliriously speckled or dotted with saccharine comments...the journey n search for a sedated yet logical criticism has been so interminably painful...
too juvenile, I must say!

Ganesha said...

amasing blog!... i liked the humorous way you answered ladki ka each and every question.

Anonymous said...

kya likhta hai yaar... sach mein haste haste pet dukh gaya yaar... sara depression vagaira door ho gaya... likhta rah munnu... tujhe nahi pata ki tu manavata ki kitni badi sewa kar raha hai...

async said...

Boy!! this was hilarious. came here bloghopping. Would be a regular now

aditya said...

really cool stuff man!!!keep up the good work...

Shruti said...

Just drop in to say Hi..
Take care

Utsav said...

bhaiyaa jee...

aapke charan kahan hain ??

3 din se padh rha hoon blog aapka, 1st post se le k lasht waale tak..

--sigh--, if only i took d same DILCHAPSI in my engg. textbuks..

jhakaas posts...

ju jusht outdo jurselph ebhery damn tym..

Manish Tripathi said...

Oooo yaar, ek maheene hone ko aaye,
ab to apna Vrat tod de.
waiting for your next post.

Random musings said...

munnu bhai....kya ho gaya..itc aajkal jyaada hi ghiswa rahi hai kya? itne din se koi bhi post nahi!!!!

jj said...

You are gud man...awesome blog you keep here!! read almost all the posts in the last week or so......enjoyed each and everyone of them!

alpana said...

hi...
its d frst time i m reading nyone's blog except my brother's.sabhi kuch achaa tha,padne me enjoy kiya...bt in the last u said dat u want to help a girl child...hmm is kaam ko jaroor karna...tabhi ye likhna bhi sarthak hoga...
good luck
bye

alpana

Priyanka Tadipatri said...

LMAO!....all answers right...u passed!!...

why dont u try getting to the "laughter challenge4"...??..(though, i dont hope it ll come up)....
a complete fun-filled,hilarious post!!..it made my day!
cheers!!....

Nidhi said...

Kahan ho yaar!!! Kab se tumhaare next post ka wait kar rahi hoon.....check ur blog regularly at least once a day just to be disappointed :(

Aditi Chauhan said...

lol
;-)

Dh@v@! said...

Sahi hai yar,

U know what I am coming to your blog after a long time and dekh ke achha laga ki you are still going on the way you were going earlier…

I like your style of writing

It was a nice read… keep going.

Exploring life said...

Hey abhi,

Maan gaye guru .....
the best line was "blind anupam kher" wooo too much scary to imagine....
you really have some istyle boss...
way to go buddy

Don Corleone said...

will you write when sanjay dutt comes out?

Sach1 said...

great!

Pri said...

hilarious way of completing this tag...
had me in spilts...enjoyed the read :D

cheers!!

Ajj Kaim Singh said...

(I suddenly gripped her finger with my tiny palm , pulled her towards me and squeaked in my newly discovered voice - "Aunty , time kya hua hain ?.")

Absolutely hilarious. First rate.

Arti Honrao said...

God Bless You Abhi, you really made me laugh with this one!

Now, why is that so important [making me laugh] ...
because I had not laughed since past few days!

Thanks boss.


GBU
Arti

lavender tulips【ツ】 said...

I am as 'besharam' as a C grade tamil movie . Aati kya Die Hard dekhne ? Ab bolna tho "aati kya khandaala' chahta tha , but abhi khandaala jaane ka mood nahi hain.

Where dost thou come up with this your holiness??!! *bows down*

16 . If you could eat anything right now , what would it be ?

The guy who put so many questions in this tag . With some tomato ketchup.

Seriously, you have an art for making me choke with laughter whist reading your posts. This time it wasn't while I was using my inhaler, but rather a very dangerous wad of chewing gum.
I maintain my previous offer- MARRY ME!

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