Saturday, June 23, 2007

Title ka kya achaar dalega ?

Idhar ruka tha main rajasthan mein , standard note karo ladke ka.
I found this on my disk . I clicked this some seven months back in Kerala.Creativity note karo ladke ki.



Abhi bheje ke engine ko garam mat kar , iss dard bhari tasveer ka logic baad mein samajh ayega lollipop singh.





Last week when I reached office , a brown envelope was placed on my desk . Ab aajkal tho it is the zamana of e-mail , and passing around paper letters qualifies you for a place in the stone age , so I was like "Yaar yeh kya akbar ke zamane ka item rakha hain". Scared that they might have found out I have been stealing mousepads from the office and hence were firing me while asking for the mousapads back , I tore open the envelope along an edge and pulled out a neatly folded letter. It said that I had completed one year in the company and congratulated me for that.Abbe ek saal hee tho complete kiya hai , congratulate tho aise kar rahe hain jaise main kunwara baap ban gaya hoon. But anyway , the letter sure made me go like - "Uee ma , ek saal ho gaya mujhe office mein free ki coffee down karte hue?." It sure doesnt feel like one year since I walked out of the gates of IIM as a confused guy and walked into the corporate world to confuse everybody in there. But an year it has been , so all you funky people out there , raise a toast . Waise ab toast kahan se laoge , so raise a pakoda , burger , samosa , parantha , jo bhee fridge mein available ho.


And I got my dad a Nokia 6300. Now my dad is the kind of guy who would keep a cellphone till its keypad falls off , its screen disintegrates and the Archeological society of India takes it away and places it next to the pottery found in Mohanjodaro , so I just decided to get a new cellphone for him . I think the model looks pretty good , and slim bhee aisa hain jaise teen mahine se kuch na khaya ho. When I gave it to my dad , I expected him to turn to my mom and say "Dekh humara beta kitna mature ho gaya hain , ab is kee shaadi kar deni chahiye." , but he said something which was on the lines of "Humare bete ko money spend karne ki sense nahi hain , is kee shaadi abhi nahi kar sakte."


And talking of shaadi , my family recently took me to this purana filmy temple . The type of temple which is talked about by ghoonghat clad women in villages , you know the "Tumne suna nahi bahin ? Uss mandir jaakar jo maango mil jaata hain." types wala temple. So while coming out of it , they saw this Pandit Maharaj who sat outside with some books and a sign that said something like "Shri Guru Maharaj Astrology Centre." And cutting short all the gory and kaali details that followed , he announced that any attempts to marry me off within next three years would be as dangerous as Mika at his birthday party. So looks like panditjee has destroyed any immediate plans of "hum do humare do" for me , and I will continue to be the most eligble bachelor in my colony.


And recently I went to Rajasthan in 'kaam ke silsile mein' ( Kitna manager type lagta hai na sunne mein ) . I stayed in this hotel which was a palace Maharaja Ummed Singh had leased out . In fact , I was told the royal family still stayed in the part of the palace which had not been leased out . So this place had corridors adorned with black and white photos of the Raja Sahib and his gang of underweight and ever grinning chamchas . The Raja dude had snaps with a foot on the deadbody of almost every animal I have ever seen at the zoo - Lion , tiger , cheetah , wild boar , crocodile..photographer ke paas thoda aur time hota tho earthworm ke upar bhee joota rakh ke foto khinchwa letein Raja uncle.But the one thing which had the most bura asar on my masoom dimaag was the washbasin in my room . I mean , now you know what that gadget in the picture at the top of this post was .

For half a day , I did not wash my hands thinking this thing would blow up if I ventured within three feet around it . Apparently , this was some ancient style faucet which had been carried over from Raja's time to add that heritage touch to the room.But jo bhee ho Raja Sahib , aapka plumber kaafi over-excited ho gaya washbasin ke faucets design karte hue...



Chal yaar michael , it's 1.30 in the night and mommy always says 'Soja nahi tho Richard Gere aa jayega' , so I must sleep to avoid any kisses now.And haan , yeh tho sun lo , I am going to Kashmir very soon ! I hope udhar aise washbasin na ho.

56 comments:

nasia said...

I have seen this is a much privilged place.. first comment on ur blog.. and my night shift helps me grab the title.. :-)

Nidhee said...

Laugh riot. Amazing post.

satish said...

Mika!!! mera asli hero!

Abhi said...

@nasia - Alle wah ! Ab aage se dinn mein poast karunga , tab first comment karogi tho manunga.:p

@Nidhee - Amazing ? are post hai bhai , krissh nahi hain , amaze mat ho.

@Satish - arre bhai sahab , aap bhee mika mein vishwaas rakhte hain ? wah ! waise mujhe "bhai tune pappi kyun lee" wala song chahiye , mail kar dijiye na.

Anonymous said...

am just curious... how you make up such weird but hillarious comparisons?

Anonymous said...

Congrats hai!For you it mite b 'kal ki hi baat' but ask ITC ppl,How hard it wudve been working with u!huh! :P
*raising hajmola candy[err..the only thing available within 20cm diameter..vaise bhi itna sab raise karoge to hogi na digestive problmz!:p]*

And nice basin :P ..i always though they had only ancient wale swimming pools[baolis i guess] in palace hotels :D..India Shining! :P

-Deepa!

mayank said...

hey abhi...nice post.

c00kie said...

Hey man abhinav...

just wanted to tell u that ur a legend...

keep the flame burning...

cheers

arpana said...

X-(

Bharat Jhurani said...

nice as usual.. n gud ya, u havin a ball m sure.

Abhi said...

@anon - yeh tho inborn defect hain yar.cant explain it.

@Deepa - Arre deepa jee aap ? sacchi bolta hoon , abhi bhi uss din fone katne ka afsos dil mein ball point pen ki tarah chubta hain.

@mayank- Ab kya bolu..dua hai aapki.

@cookie - oye cukki , main koi legend nahi hu yar.wo tho ajay devgan ne fight maari thi ek baar bhagat singh ka legend banne ki , main nahi tha re.

@arpana - oye yeh kaunsa complicated out of this world emoticon hain , saaf saaf bol , paheliyan na bujha maatimili.

@bharat - haha , yeah I have a ball , infact more than one :p

kaustav said...

cheers..am raising a toast..er..a fag..{wills navy cut,::live life kingsize??..of whatever few days remain}without apology to greenpeace or whatever the environmental geek of org.is called..,since it is the only thing available to bring to my mouth..without getting out of my chair,U see my PC table does not have a freezer cabinet attached,where I can store all the Mcburgers..I have the genetic mutation in chromosome 47 called the lazy X syndrome..,as I gaze through the smoky haze..I cant help but smirk at the craze that only a sunidhi chauhan can generate..I fear it is taking the form of mass hysteria..and hey I am from the NE part of the country..do I feel threatened by someone suffering from insomnia..no ..unless this takes the form of a national uprising..aur haan raja uncle ke poute ke behen ke saath koi photo shoto khicha ki nahin??...this with malice towards all..LOL

Anonymous said...

hey abhinav ..
only u can describe wash basins in a maharaja ka hotel with so much gusto ,.hhee..anyway wheres the recording ya ?
we are still waiting ...

apoorva

arpana said...

//maatimili
wat does this mean?
and the other smiley was actually a frownie :P

divya said...

wot abhinav..staying in palaces and all! congrats on completin one year at ITC. i wud like to take this opportunity to thank the itc guys who sent u to blore twice,in the course of a year,hehehe!! i remember ur post last year wit an RDB inspired dialogue on life outside of college, only this time i`m at the crossroad..(which means i`ve graduated!,so congratulate me.)

The Guy Next Door said...

You will have more things to worry about in Kashmir, than weirdly designed faucets - So I wudnt sweat over it.

I was raising a toast anyway - What else could one do on a rainy Sunday evening - So I wouldnt mind dedicate one to you too. U owe me one if we ever meet.

Great post, as ever.

whoelsebutme said...

kashmir? yipeeeeeeeee. and no marriage till 3 years...?poor someone :P

Anilz said...

hey i raised "milo mila hua office ka focut ka dhoodh". I have been doing this since 10 months :p. Congrats boss. I knw , it feels like the last day at college was yest. Looking for more from u ... N wht abt the recording??? ... we r waiting ...

Anonymous said...

3 years more to go for the frustated sucker :))) What a torture ..

Anonymous said...

3 saal.....main intezaar karungi...lol..:P

Anonymous said...

Amazing

Nidhi said...

Hi Abhi...
Well...I had been reading your blog for about a couple of months now....and checking all the archives too. (starting from the earliest)
Ur blogs are so normal, in-the-face and close to reality types that anybody could identify wid them
Cheers!!!
(Jus' a small request...i feel that u shd put up a visual diagram of ur humble existence (ur photo...in simple terms) on ur blog page....so that ppl who have not had the honour of knowing you in person can at least relate a face to the writer of these interesting blogs)

Ravish said...

intezaar lamba hai...
par station par baithe rahiega...
gadian aati jaati rahengi..
unhe dekhkar hi khush hote rahiyega..

Cheers,

Anonymous said...

arrre sharminda kar rahe hain aap :p!!Aapse zara si baat ho gayi im more than happy..sachhi.Afsos ke pen ko dil se nikaal kar bittoo ke geometry box mein wapas rakh do,kisi ke kaam aayega ! :D

Regards,
Deepa!

Vandita said...

hey abhinav...
gr8 post... i'm not sure if ive ever commented before...but i do read ur blog and i love the way u write :)
waise 3 saal tak no shaadi, loads of plans gone down the drain na? ;) fikar not ... woh din bhi aayega ...lol
btw congrats on completing a year at ITC...

Dreamcatcher said...

The description of the basin was hillarious :) and congrats on one year of the job.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Added a new value add to my blog this weekend - a news widget from www.widgetmate.com. I always wanted to show latest news for my keywords in my sidebar. It was very easy with this widget. Just a small copy paste and it was done. Great indeed.

Ajith said...

Dont worry about this 3 - year wait man..It givs u more time to chase girls :) ..And yeah, that wash basin was too good :)

Rahul... in City of Dreamz said...

DUDE!!! you rock yaar... too good... u should blog more often... kasam se... we all deserve it :)

Nidhi said...

Hi Abhi...
Well, u haven't replied to my comment in which I had requested you to put up a snap of urs. anyways, just wanna let you know that reading ur blog has tremendously increased my interest in blogging and sharing my thoughts on this platform. Just started a blog for myself....you can visit it on www.herecomesnidhi.blogspot.com
Would appreciate your feedback/comments :)

Me_wid_Myself said...

More Love your ways..Abhi...mmmuaahhhh.. Total fan ho gayi hoo yaar teri..
Kyaa chhote!! Tu chhota naa hota naa mujse pakka on the knees propose karti tuje..
Saallaa life mei tragedy kyoo ho jaati hai yaaarr..
Whole weekend of mine goes shorlisting suitable marriage alliances at home aurrr ek damm mere type ladka saamne hai...Anddd twishtt of life ki I can't do anything bout it..:(
Challoo Anywayzz.. Dekhte hai Deshtinyyy wichh ki heggaa..
U enjoy baby :) Luv yaa..

Raza said...

Hey Abhi..it has been a while since i wrote a comment here..but have been visting the blog regularly..

awesome post as usual..keep it going dude.

Abhi said...

Kaustav - Mar jaawa khatta kha ke , ITC wale ke liye sutte se acchi koi cheez nahi ho sakti ! forget raising the toast everyone , raise a sutta !


@apoorva - oye raja ahib ludak gaye paaji , ab unki izzat se khelne mein koi khatra nahi , so washbasin kya , unki patni ka bhee mazzak udaana safe hain.and wo RJ chachi recording degi tab na chipkaunga re.

@arpana - lo kar lo baat , ab maatimili ka matlab bhee nahi pata ? ja google kar.


@divs - wow , congrats divya ! and i lost your number , mail me plz !

@TGND - hai rabba , aisa daraya na karo chacha.kashmir mein khatra ? roja part 2 na ban jaye mere saath , meri tho wife bhee nahi jo mujhe bachane ke liye fight maaregi.

@whoelsebutme - maine internet pe read kia tha - one who knows hunger relishes every bite . teen saal yoon hee nikal jayenge haan...


@anilz - dharam paaji ! iss umar mein bhee doodh ? tussi virender sehwag ki line pe chal rahe ho.


@anon - oye frustrated kisko bola chintu ? tu jaane na humaar history..

@anon - haha ! teen saal nahi , 2 saal baad contact kar liyo plz , sagai tho pehle hee ho jayegi na dhakkan.

@anon - sacchi ?

@nidhi - arre kyun dimaag ko sadma dena chahtee hain nadaan dost.bhagwan ne meri shakal sirf baccho ko darane ke liye design kee hain.waise on a more serious note , i will consider puttin it up as a part of the next post.sacchi.mucchi.

@ravish - arre sahi kaha miyaan , hum tho auro ki muskurataho ko hee apna samajh lete hain dil behlaane ke liye.

@deepa - hahaha , arre rocky , bittu ke geo box mein rakhunga tho bittu ke hee kaam ayega na.

@vandita - zale pe tata namak ki bori daal rahee hain zaalim.koi na puttar koi na , mhaara bhee bhyah hoga.

@DC - everytime I see ur name , i think of all those electrical engineering subjects my profs tried to teach me . what else can DC remind an engineer of ? :p . About the one year completion , thanks !

@widget kaka - wallah !!!! sacchi ? itte kamaal ki cheez pehle kyun nahi dikhai be ?

@ajith - chase kar kar ke thak gaya hoon yar.ab aur nahi bhaaga jaata.ab tho ladko se hee kaam chala lunga :p


@rahul - start paying me for this . and u get a blog every day ! :p..just kiddin yar , likhta rahunga jab time milega.:)

@nidhi - arre haan nidhi , I will definitely keep hitting your blog.write what you enjoy writing.apne liye likhio.:)

@me_wid_myself - ab main kya karun yar ? mummy ne bachpan mein complan time pe aur sahi dose mein pilaya hota tho aaj apne wedding cards print ho rahein hotein.koi nah , age janam mein abhishek bacchan ki legs maangunga bhagwan jee se.

@raza - hey bhai ! good to see u after a long time :)

Aditi Khanna said...

Hi Abhinav..I really enjoyed reading all your posts.They are hilarious. You have inspired me to revive my long forgotten blog aditikhanna.blogspot.com and fragrantmeadows.blogspot.com

Arpz said...

stupid logon ke likhe stupid words ko google accept nahin karta so when I put in "maatimili" in google - I got a pop saying - " this word is an arbit spew of Abhinav's dimaag - no answers here"
:P

Me_wid_Myself said...

Arreyy mitti paao abhishek de leg piece noo !! saanu koi (abhi)shek vek naii chahiye jee !! abhinav hee more then enough hai saadde laii.. Aurr sweetheart (soryy aunti jee, but bachha bott hee pyaara hai aapkaa!!) wen I said chhota I meant age factor baby !! I know tu baithee hui Rani mukkherji jitna hai aurr tere hair 700 MWaatt ki straightening Iron se bi straight naii honge (C.. how closely I followed ur blog ;)..Parr dil aayaa gadhe pe toh praa (Mrs. Pari) kyaa cheez hai.. Isliye lemme know if in case you are okie for a girl who is 1 yr.elder than you.. I'll cherish the hope in my heart.. Hahahahahahah :)) Luv Yaa..Shalu

mdev123 said...

'kaam ke silsile me' bolkar bata rahe ho ki you are mgr ;-)
btw Abhi ye shadi ka kya chakkar? har post shadi ki baat kar hi dete ho. kafi jaldi me lagate ho.

Phoenix said...

title ka achar nahi dalna tha..title dene ki ability bhi note karni thi
khair koi baat nahi, agli bar dalega to envelope mein dalke note post kar doongi, with no gadgets etc
mubarak etc bhi, for completing a yr

mithi said...

uhhhh !!!!!
another blog fm kiddie u trying to impress fellow readers ???

Aparna Kar said...

The anatomy of that thing is weird and seems to be inspired by something :D How does it work?

Aparna Kar said...

Btw, here's a tag if you don't mind filling it up. Something tells me it's going to be interesting :D

gunj said...

richard gere aa jayega....hahahahha!ye to ladkion ko bolna chahiye! or do u luk as pretty as silpa setty?? fotu votu dikhao kabhi...[:P]

Shruti said...

Hi Abhi,
Wow!!!maza aa gaya, aapka post padh kar..Bole to ikdum mast wala type..
adding you in my blog list..
Take care..

Sanyukta said...

Ueee ma, u didn't wash your hands for half-a-day?? bhagwaan uss plumber ki aatma ko shanti de! :D

anyways, happy kashmir trip, bhaijaan.

Anonymous said...

tanatan likela hai re baaap... bole to aisa laga ki dhakdhak par madhuri uchak uchak ke hila hila ke dance kar rahi hai.... bomfod maja aa gaya beedu.. likhta rah shane..

Anonymous said...

yaar plumber ne to faucet ka Anthromorphization kar diya,
nice post abhi uncle !!!

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