Sunday, October 21, 2007

Life.Questions.

Steal my laptop. No seriously, I will leave the thing outside the front door tonight, power cord and bag included. Just hop in over the garden hedge and pick it up. I will sponsor your trips to the malls all my life. And for all you single engineering students out there, videos are in F: drive.

If you think I am not serious about this way to get rid of work, you need a little newsbreak on my life.

Last eleven days, I have been on six flights. I have been getting out at 8.30 in the morning and the earliest I came back one day was 8.45 pm , when my sister asked “Half Day today?” as I stepped in through the main door. Today is a sunday, and I have spent five hours since morning on an excel sheet with bright red and yellow colored rows and columns and a whole lot of numbers which was interrupted only once , when my mother asked me if I was actually nuts , or only looked like one.

And if all this is a chocolate cake, the cherry on its creamy head is that I still get calls from Head Office which start with “I am still waiting for that data” instead of a hello.

And while I was doing this stuff, nature nudged me a bit more towards the gates of “Um, do you have pond’s anti ageing miracle cream?” club. And there is something strange about turning 26. One moment, you are 25 and before you can finish a garlic bread, you are 26 and thinking “Huh, so by the next world cup, I will be almost 30.”

You know, it changes something in the way you think. You realize that marriage and kids and a life when people depend on you for their expensive earrings and indecent beauty parlor bills and maths homework may be closer than you think.

People think being a teen is confusing, but I think the questions one faces at 26 makes being a teen look as simple as peeling an orange.

For one, there is work, which isn’t getting any lighter. And being from IIM, people expect you to sell a shampoo bottle to Anupam Kher. Not that I worry about that, but the mentally convoluted types who need an excuse to run you down are like “Oh, the sales are up only 18 percent? And the money we spend on you IIM types, eh.” Since I am talking work here, tell me how it is if you have used Fiama Di Wills on your hair. It’s the shampoo I am helping launch in North India these days. If you haven’t heard of it, it says that either you live under a rock or I need to spike up my marketing noise.

Also, and this is more complicated than a psycho’s mind, is the human relations part. You realize that unless you clear up your mind and drop that “Uhm-err-I-I-don’t-know” phrase, two years down the line you may find yourself eating dinner with a girl who is thinking “Shit.Why did I marry a guy with such terrible table manners?.”

So I need to wake up to the fact that choosing a life partner is a decision as huge as Jupiter. And I need to find a girl who is happily excited to see goofy table manners.

I have had the coffee-movie-pizza thing with friends who are girls, but in some years, I will need to find a girl whom I understand and who understands me and decides much more than which pizza to order. And finding her is not easy, considering that I think girls are indirect, complicated, get angry too fast and ask questions only to hear the answers they want.


So all this, and add to that a jerky internet connection which takes slightly longer than a test match to load blogger, thick Gurgaon traffic and a cellphone which keeps ringing, and life gets a little jumpy for me at 26.

In a childish sort of manner, I want to ring up god and ask him “Hey, can we rewind my age by four years, I am not exactly ready for this!”, but I think he will just bang down the receiver.

But the good part is that this time my parents actually bought a cake for me. And even though I think they did it because they wanted to eat cake, blowing candles with three people singing the birthday song around me was something out of a childhood album.

But if I look at the overall stuff, I need to bring back some balance in my life .I need to ask myself some questions. I need to find some answers .How do I do that? I will figure it out right after I finish working on that excel file with red and yellow rows.


By the way, if you are emotionally moved by the questions I face, here is one you can help me get off my mind –

I need to get a laptop for my dad. He needs to develop no satellites communication software using that. So we can use a laptop which is good enough to handle the routine stuff . Any suggestions?

82 comments:

Unknown said...

Hello ... bohot dinon ke baad iss baar ... but the post explains why ... ! Hmph ... the corporate world and the ghazals ... "Yeh daulat bhee lelo, yeh shohrat bhee lelo ... "

Can't complain in pain ... no gain and me having so many running thoughts.

Wish you the very best.

Don Corleone said...

Hi
Probably the toughest thing to manage on a laptop is the cursor,so i suggest, whichever laptop you buy, do get him a mouse, he ll be more comfortable.
Ease of operation should be the priority.
Also, no F drive for Father

Tc

Anonymous said...

HP lele be..uspe gaane kee aawaaj sahi aatee hai..DHAPAA DHAP!!!

Caladrius said...

Hi, nice to read you, once again.

I had not heard of Fiama Di Wills.

The laptop for Dad solution is simple. Delete your F: content and give your laptop to your Dad.

Unknown said...

maa forgot ur badday again aur agle din mausi ko call akrke gande gande xcuse maar rhi thi...aur mausaji ko buy any laptop but nt a wipro shit like u carry(pata hai aapko free mein mila hai)...aur bade busy cchal rhe ho aaj kal...business tycoon ban gaya hai ladka :)

Zee said...

if u think 26 sucks wait till u turn 27....
thanks for putting the world cup thingie in perspective. misery sure loves company huh....

Anonymous said...

just find a girl who kissed at 18 :P

-- emran hashmi

Ye manzilen !! said...

So when do plan to keep ur laptop out the door? I can sell that one to ur dad for a $100 and I will knock off F drive for dad for free....
:)
Good post...

VIZAG - Youth For Equality said...

one more gud one.. n is really tht tough!!! aaargh!!! i don wanna get f IIML!!! i was still thinkin tht this is the most hectic tht it can get!!!

All the best dude.. 26, sob! sob! here i come.. 4 more yrs though!!

Huzefa Mukadam said...

I am sad that you are growing older. I miss the humour in your posts.

Jeet said...

hehe.. belated hbd and all the best.. you have a lot going in your life right now :)

Anonymous said...

btw, will u do a tag if I ask you to?

rt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rt said...

hey the shampooo ad is really sad!!
I dont know if u r targeting the complicate minded artist type of person or some one of the types who buy/make things they cant understand abt or coz it sounds very diff ..if not and if u can do anything plz do something abt that ad!!!

and yeah Belated happy birthday!

Anonymous said...

Fama wat???That definitely is not the name of a shampoo. Is it really so???

I hate worklife equally as much if not more. And I once thought my IIML days would be the last tough ones.

Looking at ur plight, I think I shud start my "right girl search" right away. (I am 23 right now).

Anonymous said...

Once again nice one .............i do understand how u cud be feeling, all at the same time.......... office pressures, turning 26, buying lptop for without f drive...................was an awsome read, although after a month.

kashika said...

Since the last couple of days, I was wondering why you weren't posting anything, your post explains why. You know, we students always think that it'll be so cool once we grow up and start earning, what we donot realize is the responsibility that comes with it. I swear, the condition of those who are working makes our life seem so much simpler. Anyway, its just a case of the grass being greener on the other side :)

PS: Wish you a very Happy Belated Birthday.

Anonymous said...

hey abhi...finally u pissed..(I mean u blogged..) :P ...jokes apart...nice post...btw wish u a very happy birthday and turn 260 years....enjoying in the beaches of chennai..and less of these works..god bless !! Enjoy !

its me said...

Many Many Happy returns of the day!!! :)
and BTW i tried the shampoo
( it has been launched in south too :P).. the sachet is eye catchy, with blue and red colours and the names sure are good...

and afterall a shampoo is a shampoo is a shampoo.. nothing that once we use the shampoo we get longggggg beautiful hair or something like that right?
so i guess the shampoo is OK :)

Anonymous said...

Totally agree my friend,

I am 26 soon to be 27. In a fix with pressure for marriage increasing from family & feeling that I am not responsible or mature enough to manage a family. No clue if everyone feels like that but 26-27 is confusing times. It seems like I was in college just yesterday. Nice thought post from a normally funny guy.

kaushiki said...

hey...finally u posted...!! nice post again..nd fun time readin it...i thought..life at 18 is a heck..!!1 readin ur post...i finally gt ..its wrst in 26..! but i cnt call god and say..to steal my laptop..er..i mean..nt to turn me26...ne ways...belated happy b day....have fun..nd happy wrting..!!

Deez said...

hey happy birthday... oops belated!
and the questions are interesting... infact i was attending the engagement of two 27yr olds when u were contemplating those questions....
my only observation... when i saw the preps, i though oh so much of a hassle, but the smiles on their faces made it all totally worth it!!!

so...ram ka naam lo aur kood jao nadiya mein!!! lol

oh and compaq has come out with good ones recently...check them out. priced fine too!!!

Anonymous said...

I think selling a comb to Rakesh Roshan & selling an electric shaver to our hon'bl Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is more complicated than selling shampoo to Anupam Kher....:P
And girls are direct, simple, don't get angry over stupid issues like boys and don't need to ask too much questions because they are understanding.
And if u feel gals are indirect its because if they say everything directly,u guys will say they are rude,they are complicated because guys are not wise enough to understand them,gals get angry beacuse guys are too irritating and they ask too many questions because they don't feel shy,like guys,to accept that they don't know about that particular thing or topic.

now I realized why u don't ever get time to reply the comments......busy with Excel sheets :P

Alice in Wonderland said...

Hi Abhinav,
stumbled upon your blog a couple of days back.

Have heard of of teh shampoo...but not going to buy it..only because i already love the one i currently use.

And hey keep writing, you are a treat to read.

Alice in Wonderland said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

hey...started reading ur blogs couple of weeks back... and must say... u r wonderful.. and funny also.... u have a way of mixing humor with complicated and serious things...


i share ur views on being oneself.... i just wish i had read this one couple of years back.... (ref: Life is Intense.Hard.Serious....Seriously ? on June 09, 2005)


keep going man....


nits

Anonymous said...

mere countertop bhi lagwa de

satish said...

assembled le lo yaar!

Anonymous said...

A belated Happy B'day & congratulations on the 'Bingo!' success. Though i have'nt used it, Fiama Di Willis has that refreshing & appealing look from what your marketing conveys. HP should be a good choice, apart from the hardware, it's support reach i.e. service centers are quite widespread throughout India, so helps in case of replacements / repairs.

All the best for your answers ;)

N~

Anonymous said...

get your dad a mac :)

Me_wid_Myself said...

Can understand well Abhi.. GOing through the same phase of Ladka Dekho and I am afraid I'll say YES after a li'l 20 mins. talk to a guy.
Donno know.. Dimak ki dahi ho gayyi hai..
`Shalu

Ravish said...

apna hi laptop kyon nahi de dete..apki samasya bhi door ho jayegi

Cheers!!!

Dhivya said...

I do understand and sympathize with your plight, but at the same time, I couldn't help laughing...because this post is incredibly funny! :)

'Selling shampoo to Anupam Kher?' - Classic!

But seriously, you are right that 20 somethings have it lot tougher than those teenagers since we have to make some of life's biggest decisions at this time - regarding work, higher studies and marriage. Hope you get things figured out soon!

Anonymous said...

hi,
if a girls ask some question indirectly ,maybe she wants know something ,perphaps she never ask direclty to u.Second thing if a girls get angry boz she love u .aap use mannte bhi nahi goye phir bhi aap se baat karti ho gi,& u r talking about understanding.,maybe someone understand to u but u do'nt understand her,.
work is important & everthing but work is not life.Life is love. U have need to change him life. May be someone love u without any condition , ab aap ko use reconize karna hai, when you reconize that girl, u take decision & married with her.
koi bhi acha sa laptop apne father ko gifit kar do. he fell very happy, or unki kushi hi aap ke liye sab kuch hai.

Shilpa said...

Hey Abhi!
The last few days I have been pretty free at work and chanced upon your blog. I've read almost every post right from 2004 to recent times and I would like to let you know that you write great! Theres drama, emotion, action, romance...everything. Also, I observed that as you progressed from an undergrad student to a student at IIM to starting work, your writing seems to hvae changed into being more mature. Kudos to you!

Pri said...

hmmm how about askin someone to steal ur lappie and then gifting the same to ur dad ?? :p
tht would solve the "work stress" problem wouldent it? heehee...
ohh and by the way, belated birthday wishes...got ne cake??:-/

Primalsoup said...

Oh, dear. And I thought tht I had problems. Laptops must be banned. It has truly killed the joy out of sending your boss a mail when you are in office till 2:00 am. At least, that is how it was when I started working. Oh wait, you are only 26 and won't probably understand that!

kashika said...

Hey,

just commenting again to tell u that i blogrolled u. u dont mind tht, do u? :)

ketki said...

belated happy birthday!!!!!!
u r working really hard, good.
as it follows, no gains without pains.
the post was good.
but to be frank, i dont know why that 'recharging' element was somewhere missing
anyway u r as gr8 as ever
coz even your hard work is inspiring
i hope to do better in my exams with this inspiration atleast

Anonymous said...

Hey Happy Birthday!!You are one of my favorite bloggers!!:)
i am from chennai so probably still havent heard of femina de wills(and no i dont live under a rock.:P!!).But personally i think that if ur marketing skills are even half as good as ur writing skills then FDW should in no time be the most used shampoo in india!!:)just today morning i heard some really sad ad's for the same product on radio.maybe u should pep up ur marketing noise!!
and buy HP pavilion for u dad. its great!!:)

Priyanka Tadipatri said...

(Belated) Happy Birthday!! :)

Anonymous said...

dnt think abt life questions........... otherwise u'll again fuck up like u've done twice before... leave the decisions in ur parents hand's... u spineless creature..........coward.......

Anonymous said...

dear abhi.... I have been doing the same things as you have been doing (only I was selling paints).... last 2 weekends were at office.... and to top it all I celebrated my Bday alone... so its like SRK says... "shayad tumhe lagta hai ki tumhare paas kuchh nahin hai par kisi aur ki aankhon se dekho to tumhare paas bahut kuchh hai"...
phew... zyada ho gaya yeh last wala dialogue ....

Utsav said...

belated happy baarday man !

shine on :)

Anonymous said...

Oye anon madam/ sirjee

agar bande ko itna hi hate karte ho, to why take the trouble of reading the guy's blog and spending the effort to comment on it, kaahe doosron ke dimaag ki bhi dhai banane pe tule ho? khud ki to ban hi chuki hain :P

Anonymous said...

Oye abhi

why do you allow anonymous bitches on this blog site.

Hey u anon, keep away & stay away lest......( gal is frustrated, it seems. Ha! ha! )

Anonymous said...

hey dude. a very belated but very happy bday :D

good read. being 26 shows in ur post too ;) well..i mean that in a good way..

as for buying a lappy..if u haven't already that is.. try acer, as they come at decent price and is pretty decent for that price. macs are cool, but would be too hi-fi for general use. it's mainly for the "fanboys"

get one with a built in webcam, if he uses the net to chat with anyone far off. and also, tell the vendor u dont need any crap in the system. by that i mean, no sharewares, trial softares etc. i bought an HP entertainment system, and though i told them i dont need any of the softwares add ons, they still installed them..but all trial versions. now everytime i use the recovery dvd they gave, my system is filled with crap. and i have to manually sit and clean it up. :(

Fathima Sagar said...

Belated birthday wishes Abhinav!

Anonymous said...

(b) Happy birth day Abhi. Hasthe rehna

Take HP Laptop
If you want to put little more money Sony VAIO..

Anonymous said...

ekdum changa post hain...
aur ye emran hashmi sahab ne pahli baar life main kuch acha kiya hain (kiss karne ke alawa)... us anon auntyjee ko apni sahi jagah dikhai hain

oho auntyjee, aap jaise anon logon ke wajah se hum anon logon ki bhi watt lagti hain

Anonymous said...

you continue this..................hard times are waiting 4 you. m planning to kidnap u and then make you post at my gunpoint........................i have read several ppl asking u politely to keep posting regularly, i hardly see any affect on you.

Anonymous said...

i konw thoda jyada ho gya. But i really feel that smtimes if that happens wat else u cud do. ll have to listen to me.

Anonymous said...

hey............ u write preety good........

n man turning 26 is bttr than 27......... so jst think n be happy u r 26 n nt 27..........

and regarding work......... man i simply love woking with that much pressure on my head.... its gives u so much energy.......

and in sales life rocks dear...........

Siddhu said...

mac mac mac mac! :)

Anonymous said...

Got to know about your blog through a friend and found it truly amazing...will be regular visitor for sure...all the best :-)

Anonymous said...

all these people here siding with you and writing hate comments are fools.
wait until they get to know who you really are you cowardly bastard!
but good to know there are other people who know your reality, even if they are just one among55

Aparna Ganguly said...

:D
Am bloghopping after a long time and good to see your post around.
"You realize that marriage and kids and a life when people depend on you for their expensive earrings and indecent beauty parlor bills and maths homework may be closer than you think." Lol.. devastating realization.
Btw, a bit of free advice- don't look for a girl you can understand. Love a woman, never try to understand her. Einstein couldn't. Why bother? And don't give away your laptop yet. Try social networking online. And yeah, think of being with a girl who can bear with your insane work hours more than your goofy table manners.
For the status-changed, biting his shirt sleeve, future Abhi, hubby-to-be, all the best :D

Aparna Ganguly said...

Btw, someone seems really furious at you Aby baby. Kya baat hai. I thought you are pretty innocuous. Didn't realize you are so much wrath-inducing. Apne paapon ka prayschit kar lo Munnu. Not good to get married with furious jilted ex-es breathing curses. Hone wale bacche pe buda asar padega. And yeah. Stick to your parents decision. The safest and surest way out.

Anonymous said...

I am 23, work under similar conditions and feel the same way you do! Just quit! do something on your own! all it takes is a little guts!

Aparna Ganguly said...

@anonymous at 23
But I thought a start-up of your own takes a lot more of your personal time than working for someone else does. But yeah, you have the independence and the joy of working for something you are passionate about. Not like a non-smoker selling cigarettes or a kid hater selling nappies. If you have quit your routine work and have allowed yourself to be YOU, then congrats, and if you are intending to do so in the following few years , then all the best. Whoever you are.

g-man said...

if you do find someone, don't give it your all there and then. that could turn out to hurt you more than you can imagine.

btw, my name's ganesh. found your blog while bloghopping n i really liked it :)

Abhinav said...

I've just read a book a coupla days back - We weren't lovers like that by Sarna. The beginner quote goes: I regret picking and not picking violets. So there you go...

BTW, me just got into wipro. After reading your blog, me having serious thoughts on taking it up. I hope I don't end up like a rat with red eyes from years of chronic sleep phishing.

TC. Keep writing. Hate saying repeated things but loved ya blog.

I must get on with my bloghopping(so the blogger above me says) while I've time and the roses of my mind are still red...

Nasia said...

once in a while.. but an awesome blog..

i dono if this will make u any happier.. but i got a fiama di wills shampoo.. a week back.. cause.. it said..mild enough for daily use :).. and i guess the whole of the world knows abt it.. so.. well done!!!!

and glad to know.. even IIM guys hav a tough time.. finding girls..:)[ask questions only to hear the answers they want.]shows u hav understood women 2 well..

:)

Aditi Chauhan said...

hey nice one!!!!!!!!!

Fattebaz Admin said...

You got Flogger Award
http://floggeraward.blogspot.com/2007/11/my-dayz-with-myself.html

Abhinav said...

Congrats!! I didn't know fattebaz until now...but a prize is a prize is a prize. And they say something about not weighing your blessings to compare them...Great job buddy...

Sameera Ansari said...

Awesome post!I can so relate to this.Great writing you have here.Keep it up!

Happy Diwali :)

kashika said...

hey wish you a very happy Diwali :)

malaika said...

A really nice entry.. Simple yet from the heart...Yup there is a time when you wanna grow older, wanna have a room of ur own and wanna be the king of the world..ironically when u grow old, you dont wanna tell anyone about it

Marlee said...

Belated Happy Bday!

wat Lappy did ya get for ur Dad eventually?

I've seen n heard the brand but im happy with what im presently using!

Anonymous said...

You sound frustrated..... good

Ajj Kaim Singh said...

" I think girls are indirect, complicated, get angry too fast and ask questions only to hear the answers they want." bulls-eye on that one!

Virgo said...

hey...ur way of expressing is gud..it makes so simple to understand the situation..u can actually visualize :)..i liked the starting of ur blog...how conviniently u explained the work pressure that was torturing u... :) well i m gonna join the race very soon :( lets c how I take it!!!!!

Anonymous said...

hey..cool one..
I am thinking given My IQ..mere bacche to bechare school jane ke liye taras jayenge.. I shud marry a Rich man..
Tc
Himani

Unknown said...

Hey !!! Is this abhi from Mumbai???


Swati

Anonymous said...

i m also in favour in HP...yar HP laptop is best i recenty bought o hp laptop.................................

lavender tulips【ツ】 said...

I'm guessing you've already bought a laptop for your dad, since this is now many months later. If you haven't, then my sony vaio VGN-TZ27GN/N is pretty slick.
And as for change, its all good. Its all part of life & growing up I guess :) You're right, this stage of life is definately harder than being a teenager, but in a whole different way. Just remember, feelings change, they come & go...but your commitment to a person stays forever. You've said yourself, your parents have been married 30 odd years? Mine will hit 28 this christmas...sometimes I don't know how they do it. But atleast I've got someone to look at for inspiration!
And women aren't all that bad...give us a chance! Some of us do have half a brain, independent personalities, aren't clingy & know when to exit when you've got that all important guys night. I hope you find your perfect match!

manisha sharma said...

hey , nice blog , like it ,
won't be nice if i u can clickover to my blog page too ,
& post some suggestion

Anonymous said...

Happy b,day munnu bhaia,yar maine bhi apne product schoolpariksha.com ko all over India Launch karna hai.Pls help me
--------sayad u know me
Vijay Kumar
Aaradhana's Friend

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