Friday, January 16, 2009

Rashmi F 26 . Tussi Yaad aoge .

My finger slided down and rested on the name . Rashmi F 26 . Seat 44 .

It was like one of those Uday Chopra Fantasies from Dhoom . Me and Rashmi F 26 on a bike with our two golu molu kids stuffed between us Me and Rashmi F 26 running around trees and bushes and ponds . Me and Rashmi F 26 doing a lot of stuff commonly captured in the pages of cheap hindi magazines . ( Have you grabbed the Jan edition of Madhur Kathayein ? For total satisfaction :p ) .

I snapped out of the Chopraish Fantasy , thanked god for granting me the luck to have a young lady next to me on this train , and granting me the wisdom to take a bath earlier this day ( Yup , I read on the internet that hygiene ranks pretty high on the list of attributes women want in a man . I have spent 60% of my waking hours in a bathroom post that article ).

Two hours later , as I sit scruched in Seat 45 of Coach 10 , Shatabadi , I have a newsbreak for you – Rashmi F 26 has been exchanged seats with a Bald-Guy-Who-Snores-and-sleeps-with-open-mouth M 45ish . Abbe saale , yehi seat mili thee tujhe exchange scheme chalane ke liye ?? Rashmi F 26 to seat 49 par settle ho gayi…Oh shucks , he just turned his head towards me and I think the warm gusts of air I feel on the back of my neck are his breaths . Definitely no Uday Chopra fantasies right now . Jhonka Hawa Ka seems an incredibly meaningful song right now .

Talking of music , I recently chanced upon this from Billu Barber –

Love Mera Hit Hit
Tu fir kaisi Khit Pit
Tu Baby Badi Fit Fit
Fir Kyun aisi Khit Pit

Now , I would like to declare my total commitment to this song . I mean , its on my ipod and if Rashmi F 26 would have seated next to me today , I would have looked into her Cheel , err, Jheel See Aankhein and said “Tu baby badi fit fit” . But I really wonder what kinda time is consumed in writing such lyrics .

I mean , I can imagine ..

Song Writers wife : Suno Jee , kya subah se Chaarpai tod rahe ho . Chalo , utho aur naha lo . Maine geyser on kar diya hai , 15 minute mein paani garam ho jayega .

Song Writer ( Jo Chaadar lapete charpai par leta hai ) : Offo , tum bhee na bhaagwan….accha chalo ek paper aur pen de do

Song Writers wife : Arre maine kaha na , 15 minute mein paani garam ho jayega . Abhi likhne kyun baith rahe ho ?

Song Writer : Offo , behas karna to tumhari aadat hai . Paper Pen do , 15 minute mein main Billu Barber ke liye 6 gaane likh deta hoon . Wo director roz poochta hai .

But at the same time , I am genuinely floored by Dev D songs . I mean , I am sure 90% of the guys , who , by the way , have been cheated / spurned / “Used-for-shopping-Movie-Coffee Bills” by females at some point or another would feel “emotional atyachaar” is their own aatmas singing . The balance 10% of the guys are still not enlightened about the futility of paying for the movie tickets .

And main note kar raha tha , after 5 years of starting this blog , I still get an average of 80-120 comments on a post . Though not quite the one to write for comments ( Hum to wo Selfish Praani hai jo Bhikhai Baba ka Katora Cheen ke Bech de , tumhare liye kya likhenge ) , I am amazed by the fact that some of you are kind enough to actually state that you like reading what I write . Some day I would love to meet some people I know only through their comments . Probably , like they have created an image of me in their minds ,I have their images in my mind , And meeting them before it’s too late would help me leave this earth with more “Chain Se” ( This phrase has been picked up from numerous Hindi Movies where the Ladki ka Baap says “Bass Beti , ab tere haath peele ho jaye to tera yeh booda baap chain se duniya chod payega” .)

Sansani Khabar – Guy on Rashmi F 26’s seat just pushed his elbow in my back . I think I am being victimized under “Inappropriate touching by a sleeping man” act here .

Aur to bass yaar , these days I am under the ‘Main Kabhi Shaadi nahi karunga” mind blanket . Seriously man , if someday I tell you the kind of emotional ups / downs ,/ round and round I have been through starting at age 22 , you will know what I mean . Kasam Banane wale ki , you will wet my sofa with your tears and cry out “Ab bass bhee kar , aur kitna rulayega” by the time I reach what happened to me in the college canteen at Age 24 .

Chalo yaaro , abhi Kat Leta Hoon . ( Is that a Delhi Thing to say “Kat Leta Hoon” ? My colleagues in Punjab just cant get this ) . Laptop Battery is near death , and more importantly , I need to get up from this before this guy on Rashmi F 26 ki seat leaves me brain damaged with his snoring . Abhi yahan Rashmi F 26 hoti to humne to apne baccho ke naam bhee rakh liye hotein . Kyun Bhagwaan , aakhir kyun ?

85 comments:

Anu said...

gold ?? i need diamonds :)

Revathi said...

Yay yay!! You updated!! Yay!! :)
Sheeesh man!! you really oughta update more often. my dayz with myself ka google reader mein update dekh ke itni khush ho gayi ki chai ki paper cup ko upset kar diya and now i have a desk full of spilt chai and a silly grin on my face after reading ur post!! :)
Write more often!! :)

LOL@ the conversation between song writer and his wife. you oughta listen to lyrics of some tamil songs!! makes me shudder!!

Take a Hike said...

bronze

Cherish said...

Bronze!!!! dude... why dont you write with the same fervor as taking shower :-)

I accept with your comment on Dev D. In case you want to know more about these guys... check out passionforcinema.com a site where Anurag kashyap and his team blog...

Anonymous said...

Ustad,

In my almost 10 odd years of long distance train travel + 3 years of international Flight travel... kabhi bhi Rashmi F26... mere pass nahin baithti :-)

So, I guess, that's another reason for me to like reading your posts :-)

Anonymous said...

LOL. Good narrative.

Shekhar said...

Dude... you just watch too many Hindi films!! :P

~sighs~ aur haan, aaj tak apne bagal mein bhi koi Rashmi F 26 nahin baithi. :(

P.S. Completely agree about the ridiculous nature of lyrics of the 'Billu Barber' song.

Anonymous said...

cool! :) I just keep coming to your blog randomly and aaj toh url type karke I thought why do I even bother?! koi naya post toh hoga nahi! but you see, one such post and now I will keep coming back until the next one.

p.s: I have been reading your blog since more than 2 yrs now. commented for the first time.

Ravish said...

apki rochak post padhkar mujhe bhi wo din yaad aa gaye jab main karnataka exp se jhansi ja raha tha..bade saubhagya ki baat hui ki mere compartment main keval do ladke(including me)aur sex rashmi f 2X(where, X= 0to 9, never mind it..;)..i intend to write the age) thi..six rashmi F main se 4 doctor thi..bas kya kahen..aur 2 nift blr ki..

aage aap samajh hi sakte ho.ki kya kya hua hoga..matlab mere man main kya kya ho raha hoga..

safar acha kata..2 din pata hi nahi chale..lag raha tha titanic ka safar kar raha hoon..

bahut hui apni ramkatha...

kafi aacha laga subah subha apki nayi post padhkar...

Cheers!!

Kunnu said...

HAHAHAHAHA.....

Shailendra Gupta said...

bapu ki jaya ....

Sarsij said...

:) yet again a laughter riot

Aditya said...

Bhai, tu mast blog likhe se ..

I bet most of the 20-something 'suljhe ' (aur thuke) hue ladke can relate to your posts very well. :-).

Keep them coming.

Deez said...

train train ki, plane plane ki yehi kahani -
taklu uncle ya moti aunty aa jate hain in between every prem-kahani!

good to see u post....

wsw said...

I think I stared at the screen for many seconds before reaction kicked in that the blog has been updated!
But somehow felt it wasnt as khushmizaaz as your posts are and was a lil bitter!Maybe I suffer from hyper imagination!

Differently Challenged said...

one more of those silent lurkers here..commenting for the first Time.
Dude you rock!
Wonderful commentary and an accurate description of the thought process of the single-male-train-passenger...

Jass said...

Been a long time! :)

Sarath said...

What a coincidence???
Even I look at the reservation sheet prior to departure searching for a F between 20 - 30.

I got an Apaorna f 24 last time.. But same problem.. Changed seats

by the way, how does rashmi f 26 look like?

Anonymous said...

hey !!!!
yeh to "one night @ call center" ki opening se milti-julti post lagti hai...... :P

Nupur said...

Haha!!! Awesome as ever!! A sincere request to you... please blog more!!

All Talk and No Action said...

Finally !!
Nov 12 k baad aaj !!

Be more frequent Mr...

Have been following ur blog since 2006 and have alw loved the way u make life sound easy :)

Neha said...

bhala main kon hoti hun tumhe ye bolne wali ki aur frequently likha kar?! par fir bhi yaar...bol hi deti hun, afterall bohot kam baar mai comment karti hun....frequency badhao!! aapke post padhke accha lagta hai..sacchi!!;-)

Abhi said...

you are too good, man! just too good!

I added you on google reader long time back, haven't been much of a commenter, but a committed reader (though this post has come after quiet a long time na?)

Abhinav said...

hehe..!
arey u still blog? Cool!

Vidya.Ganesh said...

yaaa.... nvr found a 20 smthng gud luking guy nxt to me in any journey whatsoevr! so this isn't true jst for guys......;)

p.s-- totally agree wid u on the ridiculous lyrics of BILLO BARBER

Sirius Black said...

;0 :)

strawberrymargaritas said...

plz plz plz write more often! this is just not enough! :-)

Uma said...

2 din me kamse kam 10 baar padha is post ko..Boss ne friday evening ko ek critical issue pakda dia..post padho..cook ne aane me der ki..post padho..M.TV-No signal..post padho :-)..and every time it made smile...nice and funny as alwayz.

Anonymous said...

I hope you had dried up the bathroom after taking a bath.. :D

You know, if you guess who I am, I'll be really really really flattered.. :D

btw, I like people who are hygienic too!

Sudhir said...

Sahi post hai. Lekin Rashi F 26 ne seat kyo change ki?

priyamvada said...

after a long time but again made me smile heeeeee!!! arey itna dukhi mat ho woh hindi movies main hota hai na" yeh safar k sathi toh do pal k liye hi hote hai!!!

JD said...

[This phrase has been picked up from numerous Hindi Movies where the Ladki ka Baap says “Bass Beti , ab tere haath peele ho jaye to tera yeh booda baap chain se duniya chod payega” .]


i believe the actual phrase is -
“Bass Beti , ab tere haath peele ho jaye to tera yeh booda baap chain se duniya CHHOD payega”

though i guess it depends from baap to baap

Rambler said...

Rashmi F 26 is surely not going to appreciate you mentioning her age on your post :-)...Nice post!

himani said...

hahahhahaha,,, too gud.. when I read Rashmi f 26 i thought tune itni dedication se matrimony sites dekhna shuru kar diya hai :)..gud work dude.. and this explains u back to chd...I m bak to delhi..himani..

Nidhi said...

Kismat kharaab thi Rashmi F26 ki ...jo tumse milne ka chance kho baithi :)
Loved ur post (is that too cliche to say??!!)

Rahul said...

Hey.. great post..
and yeah.. aapka bad-luck hi kharaab nikla.. :P

Ur narrative is great.. are U some kinda author.. of Manohar Khathayein kya??.. ;) he he .. don't mind!!

Loved Ur post.. will be a frequent visitor to Ur blog now..

Cheers!!! n Enjoy :)

ravis said...

... for the sake of keeping your average high :)

Deepak said...

Riot. Dude you cause some serious damage.:D.

preeti said...

rofl.. absolutely hilarious !
how do you manage this everytime, lab mein koi nahi tha isliye i am fortunate none heard me literally laughin out loud..
well, i wanted to thank you for making me laugh, infact making your readers laugh
keep posting..

KP said...

lol....better luck next time..

Anonymous said...

the way u can find humour in everything and bring smile to people's faces is amazing!!! u rock abhinav :)

The Misdirected Arrow said...

Khabardaar jo billu barber ke songs ko kuch bhi bola...
Aise to main bhi bol sakti hun ki ye blog post tumne aise kiya hai jaise ki jab tak Rashmi F 26 palat ke wapas mujhe ek glance deti hai main do char blog post hee kar deta hun... log kab se kuch likhne ko keh rahe hain!!

ketki said...

Wow!
its nice to see u back after so much time!
keep writting!
u wont believe but there r people out here who cannot survive without reading ur posts!

Dewdrop said...

HaHa... hilarious post... v well written... could almost hear the snores of ur 45M guy!!! Complete Emotional Atyachaar!!!

blankspaces said...

so the next post is in March?

Charmed. said...

Abhinav M 27,gosh! that was you!? tussi bhi yaad aaoge. :d ...hehe,hats off to whoever coined this term 'emotional attyachar'...couldn't agree more to it (..although not in the perspective you've mentioned here)....and now that we're at it, could someone please tell me what does 'khasmanu khaye' mean ? (...'khitpit' is a lovely word,i'm glad abt being reminded of that n that it'll be a regular part of my vocab now:))...these are still tolerable rhymes...bollywood has had much worse share of 'lyrical attyachar' earlier i guess:)(think of some govinda songs and you'll get the point, i guess:))
(wish the next post comes up sooner..)

Vandita said...

im sitting here with a biiiig smile on my face that began when i decided to catchup on my reader list and came to ur blog.
abhinav, i dunno what it is abt what/how u write but it almost never fails to make me smile... ek ajeeb si khushi hoti hai when u update, plz do it more often na!
PS: i love "emosional atyachaar" too... super song hai :D

Vinod R Iyer said...

Chote chote sheher mein badi badi batein hoti rehti hai ... It is the shaap of jai jai mahadev.. that no guy shall get even a decent girl as a co passenger... kya karen hai kuch bhi toh nahi hota hai

Anonymous said...

This was not certainly of your types...

Anonymous said...

Maaza nahi aya ...

Anonymous said...

It felt as if you are writing just to keep the blog alive..

AshenGlow said...

Hilarious as usual.. By the way Rashmi F26 sounded like some fighter plane.. like some F 16 or MIG 29 or something.. heheh..

Ashen.

'jo said...

oh finally get to hear something from you......don't loose hopes on the indian railway....bhagwan ke ghar me der hain andher nahi

TARUN GUPTA said...

song lyrics wrong ...the last line is na kar aisi kit pit ...

Ritu said...

nice one as always...do write more often though...as for Rashmi 26...at least there was some F b/w 20-30...! things could have been worse! :D take care...

Manasa said...

ROFL...

Why don't you start writing lyrics/scripts for the next Hindi movie. am sure it'll be a huge hit :D

Anonymous said...

Its a Request to the blog owner plz don't remove this comment and read it.nodahej.com site is for millions of educated,talented,beautiful and nice well cultured girls and guys who don't want to take and give dowry to get married.so we are trying to match these peoples.its a great genuine efforts for clean society.its a non profit making site.
http://nodahej.com

Anonymous said...

CHECK THIS UNIQUE SITE
www.nodahej.com Matrimonial Site is the worlds only Matrimonial Site for peoples who don't want to take and give dowries for their marriages.its total free site.Add your Free Matrimonial Profile Now.
http://nodahej.com

Anonymous said...

the anons above seem to have realised your desperation to be with a female ;-)

kidding.

The Hell Butterfly said...

was browsing through and went through this post.. Awesome :)
keep up the good work..

Kunal Lal said...

Boss..another hilariuos post. But u post too few and far in between.......

Shaheena J.Motewala said...

Yehh and here goes my comment to "non commenter" anyways good to c a new blog...cos yehh its bakwas but still it is full of weirdo ideas to have nice sneak peek often...its really good time pass in your blog....even if its not flashy as mine a bit...but what ever is written (even in bathroom...the think place) is written from dil se .

Bhagwan Bachaye f-26 ko cos ultimately this post ended with a thought of "no marriage" so 2 -3 golu molu between u and her and one bike seems superficial relation...wow HIT hai..
anyways Kudos !!

Rajesh Roshan said...

यू एंड योर पोस्‍ट्स साउंडस रियली कूल...डिड यू नो गीतकार ऑफ द सॉग हिट हिट.... वन एंड ओनली गुलजार साहब! एंड बीवी राखी गुलजार..

वेल थैंक्‍स फॉर योर दिस पोस्‍ट. इट हैस चेंजड माई मूड..बिट रिलैक्‍सड नाऊ... ;)

~ ॐ ~ said...

this is hilarious !!!

fantastic stuff !!

Pavitra said...

she getting married and you not doing anyting. are you okay no? i feel sooooooooooo saaaaaddddddd :((((((

Yachiru said...

Hilarious :)
n hey this comment comes from f 23 :D

111 said...

Cheap wow gold in our site ,you can believe us all the time!
Thank you !
http://www.itemchannel.com
http://www.itemchannel.com/?op=powerleveling
http://www.gold4power.com
http://www.gold4power.com/buy-gold/
http://www.gold4power.com/news/
http://www.bestwarhammer.com
http://www.gamelevelup.com/

111 said...

Cheap wow gold in our site ,you can believe us all the time!
Thank you !
http://www.itemchannel.com
http://www.itemchannel.com/?op=powerleveling
http://www.gold4power.com
http://www.gold4power.com/buy-gold/
http://www.gold4power.com/news/
http://www.bestwarhammer.com
http://www.gamelevelup.com/

Anonymous said...

I love you. Marry me.

jeromine said...

Hi Nice Blog. Limata.com Offers online movie tickets chennai,phone booking,movie tickets,cinema ticket for Chennai,Madurai, Tirunelveli,Theni,Coimbatore,Tirupur also current shows,cinema ticket booking,advance booking,cinema theaters,movie show timings.

AGRINEER said...

as usual awesome...

Anonymous said...

so you actually read all the comments people leave for you? how sweet :o) love you

Anonymous said...

janemann..next time before you get on that train let me know..main aapki Rashmi F26 banne tayyar hun!!!
i'll come in running inside the train like kareena does in jab we met and land up right next to you!!
;)

walked away...a memoir said...

being selfish, if Rashmi F26 would have been there then, there would have been less chances of another hilarious post.

Anonymous said...

Hi ! nice post but expected a little more funny description about Rashmi F26 .. Just to let you know if inquisitive:
"Cut lete hai" phrase probably originates from the `ek cut chaai`- a common term for busy working middle-class people in Mumbai, often finding no time even for a full tea-break, maybe ..

albert said...

gr888888888!!!!!!!!!

Rushme said...

oops..!!! i juz thot u wrote abt mee.. wen i read yaw post's title..!! :p
wel i must say.. u r juz so full of life yar..!!
i juz love yaw blog..!!!!
keep up d work..!!
take cr..

Anonymous said...

I'm impressed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog that's equally educаtive аnd interesting, and lеt me tell you, you've hit the nail on the head. The issue is something which not enough folks are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy I found this in my hunt for something regarding this.

my webpage Http://www.Bucket--truck.com/
My web blog : buy bucket truck

Anonymous said...

Hi there! I just wish to offer you a huge thumbs up for your great information you have right here
on this post. I'll be returning to your website for more soon.

Stop by my blog post - viagra free trial pack
my page :: viagra generique en france

Anonymous said...

Good day! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with
SEO? I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not seeing very good
success. If you know of any please share. Cheers!

Review my website: how to get a lot of followers on instagram

Anonymous said...

Valuable information. Lucky me I fоund your ѕite unintentionally, and I am stunned why this acciԁent dіԁ not took place іn aԁvancе!
Ι boоkmаrκed it.

Mу webѕite: how to flip cars for profit at an auction

Anonymous said...

It's an amazing article for all the online visitors; they will get benefit from it I am sure.

my web blog buy twitter followers no password

Anonymous said...

Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
After all I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

Also visit my blog ... methods to buy followers on social media service twitter

Anonymous said...

electronic cigarette reviews, ecigarette, smokeless cigarettes, electronic cigarette, smokeless cigarettes, e cigarettes

Sunita Prusty said...

Latest Hindi Sex Kahani From Bhauja.com
hindi sex stories odia sex stories

JAWAAN JISM KI GARMI Hindi Sex story

Hostel Room Me Meri Seal Tooti

Nangi Karke Chachi Ko Choda

Bhai Behan ka Pyar Sagi Behan ki Chudai ki Kahani

Meri Khud ki Biwi Ki Zaberdast Chudai

Friend Ki Sister Ko Ghar Bulakar Maja Liya

Garib Ke Patni Ko Chod dala

Meri Teacher Miss Niharika Ki Mast Chudai

Swayamvar Ka Sach – Hindi Sex Story

Biwi Ho To Aisi

Us Raat Ek Ajnabi Bana Mera Pati – Hindi Sex story

Ek Khade Land Ki Kartut – Longest Expression

Bhai Ki Shali Ko Chod Kar Satisfy Kiya

Meri Phuddi Ko Rakhyas Ne Choda – Hindi Sex

Bete Ki Teacher Ne Chud Te Hui Bete Ne Dekha

Sola Saal Ki Sali – hindi Sex Story

Shadi Suda Rubby Bhabi Ko Pata Ke Choda

आंटी की भूखी चूत (Aunty Ki Bhukhi Chut)

Pyar Se Todi Meri Girlfriend Ki Seal

Modelling Ke Bad Behan Ki Pahli Birthday

Mumbai Me Ajnabi Foreigner Ko Pata Ke Choda

Gaaw Ki Bhabhi Ki Gaand Mari Raat Me