Monday, February 23, 2009

Title nahi hai Baba . Aage Bado .

Today being a Sunday , I spent 76.32% of my day in bed . ( Notice we MBA types , har cheez ko 2 decimal places tak specify karte hai . Meri kaamwali ki age hai 23.48 years hai ).

So during one of the innumerable “karwats” I katofyed during the day , I suddenly stumbled upon this beautiful sight on the other half of my bed . ( Don’t ask me why I have a double bed in spite of being a bachelor . Long Term Planning has been my hallmark since childhood.)





Now , I swear Geeta par haath rakh kar ( Waise Geeta par haath rakhunga to Geeta ko koi objection nahi hoga ? ) , I did not change / arrange / manipulate anything in the visually appealing stting captured in the photograph above.

PS – That round black shiny thing in the back is my helmet , and one of the very few non edible things in the picture . I tried chewing on it once , though . Things a hungry man can do.

And for the first time in a long time , I just paused , captivated by the abstract beauty of the scene , mesmerized by the way the light bounced off the torn Kurkure Bag , and I realized , that I need to clean my room today .

So Ladies , Gentlemen and Karan Johars , I hereby wish to inform you , with great pride , and a jhadoo in my hand , that I have cleaned out my room today , and it looks sparkling now .

In fact , as my landlord spotted me sweeping the floor of my room during the said event , he actually commented something about the sun rising in the west today , or something equally impossible . Very smart . I think I need to molest his younger son to teach him a lesson now.

In other news , the probability of me getting engaged is at its raging mad peak now . Mai kisi bhee waqt paraya credit card ban sakta hoon . So I once again appeal to all the ladies who have been secretly admiring me from behind pillars , ghoonghats , bushes , trees and other places of hiding , to please step out and declare your undying love towards my bank balance , C grade and misunderstood brand of humor , and now , newly developed husband-ish skill of cleaning rooms. I personally believe that I am one of the last remaining specimen of Men who have that finely balanced personality mix of Akshay Kumar , George Clooney and Guddu Rangeela . What , Guddu Rangeela who ? Arre bhai , Guddu . Apna Guddu ! The famous Bhojpuri Actor who just demonstrated his skills in the smash hit bhojpuri flick , Daroga Babu Bade Kadak . I think I dance exactly like him.

Anyway , coming back to the appeal , you need to act now , ladies . Guys , if you are adequately rich , you can push in an application too .

On the movie consumption issue , my last view was Ghajini . I liked the movie so much , I have “Submit Shampoo Sales Report to Boss” on the left part of my chest , “Bike ka pollution Check karwana hai” on my right forearm and my gmail password in a place more inaccessible . Password hai yaar , zyada secret place par hona chahiye na.

About Delhi 6 , I really don’t think this movie will bring a Khushiyon ki Bahaar in my life , but I want to take my mother to this movie , because she spent her childhood in Delhi 6 . She goes “Arre Munnu , yeh to mera area hai” just looking at the promos , and I know she will feel nice looking at all the galis and mohallas in the movie . You know , we humans never forget where we came from . I remember the zoo.

And as I write this , the download of this mp3 ends – ‘Gives You Hell’ by American All Rejects . Listen to it yaar . Very Boyish and Girl Hating . In case you want to disguise the lack of a girl in your life with that “Oh , who needs them , bro” types cool smirk , this song makes for a perfect background song . Try it , it works for me.

And did Abhishek Bacchan had a fake accent since the universe began , or he recently started to believe that he is a new Yorker who was accidentally born to an Indian family . Because I recently watched an interview of him on the TV , and he positively sounded like he had the entire dvd collection of American Pie Series for Breakfast .

Anyway , I need to go now . Raat ke 3 baj rahe hai mere aaka . I know this is not a coherent end . But oye , I am not a writer yaar . I just tell you what’s happening with me . Koi itna honest banda hoga jo apne kamre ka kachra dikahyega tujhe ? :P

60 comments:

tanul thakur said...

By gaad ki kasam. Oscar ke din Gold puruskaar.

samidha said...

me 2nd :) hv recently started reading ur posts..nd i knw u have heard it many times bt dey r amazing..n where do u stay in chd :p

m... said...

Great sense of humour... loved reading..

SagittalSection said...

Abhi, you are so funny... :)
I am not sure whether there was something particularly wrong with me today or you actually have a great sense of humour. I laughed madly on almost every alternate line in this post. Thanks for this good piece of laughter after such a stressful day at work. My neighbours must be wondering that I have gone crazy at 4:30 in the morning.

And did you watch the interview of Chhota Bachchan on NDTV? Rakeysh Om Prakash Mehra and Sonam Kapoor were also there and they were sitting on some building terrace... I got exactly the same feeling when I heard that 'accent'. I think he was just playing the role of Roshan. :)

Abhi said...

@tunal - yeh gold mujhe de de , thakur ! :p

@ Samidha - Oye ! Shadi karegi ?

@ m - Soja yar . 4 baje blog pad raha hai ! :p

@ sagittalsection - There must be something wrong with you yar . Mera humor itna mast nahi hai .:)

kos said...

as usual nice post, good tp

Charu said...

I have heard this story many times ... get engaged or get married ... here s another one to the list ... all the best ... I hope you find your 'emotiosnal attyachar' soon ;)

Cuckoo said...

Ha Ha Ha... Maza aa gaya. Your sense of humour is becoming better and better. :-)

And if you show that picture, no sane lady will forward her application to you. Arrey apne dole-shole dikhane the !! :P

Yachiru said...

yaar mast likha hai..

Anonymous said...

Hey, hw shud i contribute to ur bank balance.. pls give details!! :P

WSW said...

ITC main kaam karke kurkure chabate ho...wrong message bhej rahe ho :)

And pls to write more frequently..

Sirius Black said...

lol y did this post seemed to have an influence from Dostana :)
Friendly Advice :Dont watch MILK :D

Keep writing

Anonymous said...

oye kamaal kar ditti yaar..

Shek.. said...

Tussi Great Ho!!!

Well you have a brilliant brilliant sense of humor bordering on par excellent sarcasm!! you have a long long way to go dude!! quit selling shampoo's and become a writer dude!!!

anupam said...

You are just "fantastic"(saala koi dusra word nahi kya?) Your humour is impeccable,exemplary!

And writer? koi tere aajo baajo nahi hai....you are miles ahead from many! nt comparing at all...but this is reality! and thanks for the post! keep hitting!(geetha pe haath rakh ke kasam khtaata hoon main)!!!!

Anonymous said...

Cheers to singlehood my frnd ...!!

Once again, i laughed heavily.

..ankit

Himank said...

And you finally do blog after such a long time but as always it was just 2 awesome!! :) U rock man!! :D

allthecrap said...

hey abhi..
too good men...
keep it goin...

regards
all_crap

Revathi said...

Title ki aisi ki taisi!!
Jab post itna mast ho toh title ki kisko padi hai!! :)
Write more often!! :)

Abhinav said...

haha..! U seem to enjoy a lot of late night posts!!

}:-)

best wishes for any engagement(s) coming up!

samidha said...

kar bhi sakti hu :p d irony is i was in chd for most f my life rite from school..say near abt 17-18 yrs n nw 2 yrs bak i moved to gurgaon for work n now u r dere :(..bt seriously loved ur posts..write more often

Kiran said...

lol!
That's how most of us 'MBA's and into the grind' rooms look like. Mine is yet to see the sun rising from the west Sunday :P

Liked the post!

lotus dew said...

sahi hai .. :)

lotus dew said...

photo bheju apni ??

Vandita said...

there again... the best thing to have happened in my day so far... your post!
loved it abhi :)
Saw Delhi 6 myself, i agree it aint gonna work :(

Anonymous said...

Hi Abhinav,

I do read your posts quite often.This one didnt live upto the standards you've set so far.
Anyways, kabhi kabhi aisi posts bhi chalti hain :p

Good luck with the girl finding and engagement event ;)

Cheers!
N

saanjh said...

Perhaps my first comment on ur blog though I have been following it ever since one of my "MBA types" friends recommended it with full stars on his review.

Ur blog could become a cartoon series, esp for us 'MBA types'.Its got all the essential characters the un-common man, the kaam-wali, the Maaa , the sis in the background et al.

Live life like there is no tomorrow..... said...

as ever always good to read..and so lively ki khushi chalak ke bahar aa rahi hai ....blog mein se yaar....keep writing..its a pleasure to read...

What's In A Name!? said...

heh, so if you would roll over to the other side of the bed, during one of your karwats, wouldn't you like wake up because of the kurkure bag's kurkura noise?

And your helmet must be thinking that it's in Hell, mate! :P

Ritu said...

funny as always!! Good luck with your "settling down ideas"!! with your "cleaning room" quality, the gal's gonna be lucky for sure!! ;))

Phoenix said...

Dont mind me, but ur humor is getting superficial by the day. Good luck!

Vaijayanta Chattoraj said...

coooool post :)

i think you are loosing ur touch in writing blogs. 2 years back u used to write spontaneously, now u have to think and write :)

Shaheena J.Motewala said...

well well again a touch down , very well but the only thing is why do people comment on your blog with questions like "where were u in ur childhood" obviously its clearly visible "zoo"!!

Anyways from car to helmet (cos i m a regular reader...of ur this grate blog..(admire too..but not rich) )is a grate promotion wow!!

need i say kudos again?

Tushar Mangl said...

For more annoyance on Abhishek Bachan's English accent, check out the movie.
Great post

An unknown indian said...

Abhi...u right from dil se...achaa apne aap lagne lagta hai...

keep writing and that too more often
luv you, Vijai

priyamvada said...

r u gettin married??
dats kew;.....m alredy blushin!!!grt writing..pls take ur mum to delhi 6 rather than the movie..its sch a waste

Peak Day Blues said...

Hey, after this post of yours, didn't they fire you from ITC?? Look at the Irony in the picture... there's no single ITC product (at least ek cigarette ka packet to raktha)... All that you are eating will help your competitors :-)

You eat Kurkure from Pepsico instead of ITC's Bingo... and is that Parle's Hide & Seek Biscuit packet?? Sunfeast ko bhool gaya kya?... The list is endless, Maggie's Ketchup, you drink Coca Cola, Frito's Cheetos...

btw, as usual i was ROTFL after reading ur post... keep updating more often

Ada said...

Yaar, kaise kaise log hai... ab Peeky Uncle ko dekh lo... humor pe comment kare na kare brand loyalty ki baat kar rahe hai... hadd hai.

Anyway, the humor was much better and apparent than the last tym. (Sorry yaar, but thoda to criticize karne de). 1 aur bakre k halal hone pe dukh hi jata sakti hu, wot else? All the best, hor ki?

Ada said...

All the Best for ur wedding. I'm sure you'd hav understood ussi k liye ATB keh rahi hu but ur "comment readers" might not b as intelligent as us.. so i need to specify. bye bye

Vivre said...

Aweesomeeeeee!! Loved it!

The Misdirected Arrow said...

Believe me! Some of the opportunities coming ur way for the alleged sagai that u r going to have any time will definitely turn their directions if they see this pic... So for your own good.. Never post such a pic again!

Anonymous said...

your blogs always nice read :) ... what do you think abt twitter??

Abhishek

walked away...a memoir said...

really gr8 sense of humour.. recalling the lines even after a day, cudn't stop me laughing.!

walked away...a memoir said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mads said...

oh man this is too good man...ur so incredibly funny...
blogrolling u and i will kill u if u dont make the next post this funny...
i rofled and loled so much, my roomie is giving me wtf is wrong with u looks.....
=)) ur future wife is lucky to get a guy with such awesome humour...!!! :D :D

Anu's life la lessons said...

hehehe ... was getting bored ... a friend suggested ur blog ... so read thru this post ... and i cant stop smiling :D :P

kachra toh hota hi hai rooms mai har ladke ke ... honest nahi honge to kya karenge? :P

utkarsha said...

*Attahas*

MAN IN PAINTING said...

Nice one..
wishes
take care..

Anonymous said...

Apply karne ka koi format.. ??
You know how much we are used to apply for any position only by filling some kind of forms since childhood:)


~admirer behind ghunghat ;)

smita said...

Hey Abhi!
ur blog has become an addiction!!
i just recently got to know about it from a friend and i am loving it.
have already read more than half of ur blog entries..you are just too good.
it like..want a break..read mydayzwithmyself..and the intended 15 minute break last for as long as 2hours..
love the way you write!!!:)

ketki said...

tussi gr8 ho!

daman kohli said...

note one of your best post ...but still i love the way you relate to things in your life and as far as your engagement is concerned,keep trying ...good boys find it difficult to get equally good girls :)

Nidhi said...

Amazing sense of humour you have :)

Am highly impressed :)

Shall soon check your remaining posts too :)

"the girl who ate everything and didnt even burp" said...

You get better and better with every post! You are so hilarious :))

Dev said...

bahut hi badia ... atyant sundar chhavvi kachre ki ... apki profile pe follower wali application daal do

dipti said...

I know ..you may not have been serious..
then again ..do I care..

are you still single... or are you someones Credit card already??

If you are the later... This piece was fun... If not.. I couldnt read past the broom in hands and cleaning section....
I'd love a husband who cracks jokes and cleans...

Akoijam Rina said...

I have not had such a good laugh in a long long time, as I just dod on reading your blog. Keep it up.

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