Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Aap Kahin Sune Sune Lagte Hai..

The other day, I was talking to this friend, who by the way, is the only girl on this planet who can mimic a dog bark to a scaring level of perfection. I am told she once bit her Office cafeteria manager because he refused to include Doggy Bones in the Office Lunch Menu, so I really don’t know to what extent she carries the canine tendencies. But that’s not the point. The point is that we veered off to discussing the Filmy Dialogues we have grown up listening to. Incidentally , me and her , both grew up during the era of movies when Kimi Kaatkar was identified as the epitome of Feminine Elegance , and seven out of ten movies involved kids who watched their ‘ImaanDaar’ parents murdered from behind Huge Flower Pots and grew up to murder the killers after several years of scouting Bus Stops and Dance Bars for them . I mean , you get the idea of the era , yeah ?

So , shuru karein bakar , lekar Kaamdev ka Naam ( Abbe ! Kaamdev is a type of Prabhu , maine internet par pada hai !)

1. “Main tumhare Bacche ki Ma Banne wali hoon”

I first heard this statement during one of the movies , when I was six . I vaguely remember some demure Gaon Ki Gori saying this to Pran , who , obviously , had this roving eye and tried to grab anything which showed any movement.

At that age , I had no idea what that meant , and I instinctively thought , “Tumhara Baccha ? But babies to God ke hotein hai na?”.

As I grew up , I think I have heard this statement being said to men such as Ranjeet , Sadashiv Amrapurkar , Amrish Puri ( On more than three occasions ) , and Shakti Kapoor . Obviously , everytime , the reply is “Gira Do” , but notwithstanding if the lady chooses to say ‘Nahi ! Main isse paaloongi , you Pig’ or a more compromising ‘Ok , that’s cool.’ , this remains one of the most overused statements.

2. “Tumhari Ma aur Behan Mere Kabze mein hai”

Now , I really think all the mothers and sisters of that era , went around tapping all the bad guys on their shoulders , smiling coyly , and whispering “Hey Handsome , wanna kidnap me , eh ?”

How else can I explain that towards the end of almost every movie , the bad guy called up the Hero on his landline ( It’s the pre 1991 era dude , don’t expect a cellphone ) , and informs him that his White Clad Mother and Young College Going Sister have been kidnapped and have been comfortably chained between thick pillars at some abandoned remains of some Haveli.

I mean , Yeh Ma aur Behan hamesha Kidnapping ke liye available kaise rehti thi ?? I mean , if I was Hero in that time of the century , and the villain called me up to inform about their kidnappings , I would have said “Abbe Shit ! Fir kidnap ho gayi !! Ab ki baar tu hee rakh le , main nahi aunga !! Tang aa gaya hoon !!.”

3. “You are under arrest”

This used to the director’s signal , ki bhaiyya , the movie is about to end , please plan to gather your water bottles , chip bags , kids , and move out the cinema hall before the exit gets too crowded . In short , Inspector saab and his gang of Brown Shorts wale Hawaldaars have barged into the final fight scene , have pointed their cheap , Holi Wali pistols at the baddies , and the Inspector Saab has quipped the line which is the dream statement of every policeman who has ever walked this planet – “You are under arrest”. The only scene which could possibly follow this statement was a shot of the Hero and Heroine kissing under an Overgrown Pink Flower with “Happily ever after….” Written at the bottom of the screen .

4. “Main Teri Asli Ma Nahi hoon , Beta”

If there was ever a phase when non-biological mothers flourished , this was it . Kids swapped at the local hospitals , kids left crying on the stairs to the century old Shiv Mandir , little babies found squealing in trash bins , you name the way to find a kid who is not yours , and it was in there .

The mother raised the kid , made her do his homework , combed his hair , taught him how to ride the tricycle , and then watch him grow into a fine young man . But then , as she gets older and older , and as she finally reaches her deathbed , she calls the young man , looks at him lovingly , and with the heart breaking mix of love and guilt , murmurs , “Main Teri Asli Ma Nahi hoon , Beta”

The hero sits stunned , not knowing what to say , except maybe “Shit ! Does that mean I don’t get all that property you have ?”

Ok , you know the hero doesn’t say that yaar . Movie hai . Hero Accha Banda hai .


To be Continued …( Abbe , TV Serial mein ‘To be continued’ nahi dekhta ? Come on , you expect a guy to spend all day play solitaire at his office , and then come back home and write all that in one go ? )

Baad mein aur likhunga Bhai . And haan , you contribute whatever you can think of . I love interactive blogging ! Sabse mast dialogue report karne wale ko meri left kidney ! Muft ! Wo bhee polythene mein packed ! )

69 comments:

Vandita said...

OMG OMG Gold??? me?? wow
waise super duper LOL @ 2
and u didnt include the eternal "bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chod do!" :P

Kokonad Sinha said...

#4 is hilarious! :-)

Shazia said...

More 'gems' from that era...

1) "Apne hathyaar phenk do, police ne tumhe chaaro taraf se gher liya hai" (again one of the ways the movies used to end)

2) "Ye laddoo maine apne haathon se banaya hai" (says the heroine while trying to impress a prospective groom)

3)"Agar tum ne is ghar ke baahar qadam rakha to ye samajh lena ki is ghar ke darwaaze tumhare liye humesha ke liye band ho chuke hain" (Angry dad says to deviant son/daughter)

4)"Is hotel mein is waqt sirf ek hi kamra available hai...to humen raat is ek kamre mein hi guzarni padegi" (brilliant situation for some romance and/or song)

All of us in that particular age-bracket have grown up watching these scenes and listening to these dialogues. Good that you reminded me of some of those. I am sure there are many more. Will come back and post more if i remember. I want to win the grand prize of your 'left-kidney' LOL!!!

Himank said...

Am I dreaming or sumthing?? You write 2 posts in an interval of just 9 days :O :O
I would say the most used one must have been #2.. Almost every movie had the climax starting with villains capturing Hero's mother n sister or his gf!! and then the hero reaches the den of the villain and then dishum dishum and the end of the villain!! :D

Purva said...

Some more...

1) "Naheee, Yeh sunne se pahle mere kaan kyun nahi phat gaye.."
2) Doctor to hero " Mubarak ho, ab aapki ma khatre se bahar hai."
3) Hero to Heroine - "Nahiiii seema, tum kisi aur ki nahi ho sakti" smashing glass tables and throwing flower vaas on wall for background music.
4)"Agar kisi ne hilne ki koshish ki to bhoon ke rakh dunga"

So..Apni left kidney hamka de de Thakur...

Serendipity said...

2 posts in such a short span... luxury!

Some more famous dialogues:
1. Mujhe apni andhi maa ki aankhon ka operation karwaana hai aur apni choti behan ki shaadi karvaani hai...

2. Bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chod do....

3. Mein vachan leta hoon maa....

allthecrap said...

too good...:)

waise mera fav is
"mere pass ma hai"...
even rahman coudnt resist it...:)

Niti said...

u finish a post at 1:38 am..n u hv 7 comments by 10:15.. and 8 by 10;34..m jealous...
only u cud hv made such a cliched topic hilarious!! nice..

Anonymous said...

1. "Ruk jao xyz, tum kaanoon ko apne hath main nahi le sakte"

2. " Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hain"

3. " Apne aadmiyon se kaho ki apni bandhooken neeche fenk de "

4. " yeh sab sun-ne / dekhne se pehle main mar kyon nahi gayi "

5. Villain knocking at the door , abla sister replying " Bhayiaa ghar par nahi hain "
Villain " Badi pyaas lagi hai, thoda pani de do"

6. " Order , Order " , " Objection meeee lord "

7. " Bol, chudail kahan munh kala karwa ke aai hai "

8. "Chand sikkon ke liye main apna imaan girwi nahi rakh sakta "

9. " Yeh anyaye mat karo thakur sahab"

10. "Apne aane main thodi dher kar di "

11. " Jo hukum sarkaar"

deep said...

gud collectin of the era...i think i cud contribute one to it.
"na jane kyun aj mera dil bahut ghabra raha hai.."

nits said...

:)... too good...

kya baat hai... two posts in such a short span of time... record break hone wala hia...

few more...

a small kid asking for money / job... "Meri ma bimaar hai"

Dharmendra... "kutte main tera khun pee jaunga.."

Hero... "main aa raha hu maa"

Heroin to Hero... "kya kar rahe ho...Koi dekh lega"

Revathi said...

OMG!! Brilliant! Hilarious!! :D:D
Reminded me of the good ol' days!!
Some dialogues which i can recollect are

1. Agar tune apni maa ka doodh peeya hai to bahar aake mujhse ladh kutte!!

2. police ne tumhe chaaron taraf se gher liya hai. bhaagne ki koshish math karna.

3. Hey bhagwan yeh tune kya kiya
(usually used by the mothers when their daughters become unwed mothers though what role God could have played in that is beyond me!! :P)

4.Yeh sab sunne se pehle zameen kyun nahi phata aasman kyun nahi toota!!

5.Beta, tu mujhe kab bahu ka moo dikhane waala hai? Mera bhi mann karta hai ki mai pane pothe pothiyon ke saath kheloon!! :P:P

oh mann!! i can think of sooooooooooo many!! :D:D
Waiting eagerly for part 2. Dher math karna please.

Serendipity said...

another one that came to my mind...

Hero's mother is ill and taken to the operation theatre with red zero watt bulb turned on at the gate and hero asks doctor:
meri maa ko bacha lena doctor saab...
and doctor replies:
khabraayo mat, hum poori koshish kar rahe hai!

:-)

What's In A Name!? said...

Hilarious! And c'mon, I never bit the office cafeteria manager - I just barked at him.

And whatever happened to the "Maa, mein first class first aaya!" (Wats first class first, anyway?) and "aaj agar tumhare papa zinda hote.. toh kitne khush hote" :P

One of all time fav is "chhod do, chhod do mujhe" (yes, I am cheap)

and "order, order". LOL, for some reasons, I love the order, order part, followed closely by "dafaa 302 ke tehet, faansi ki saza sunai jaati hai" or "ba izzar bari kiya jaata hai", depending on the situation.

Aaj kal ki movies mein, yeh maza nahin aata.

ray said...

Hi,

I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be very good.. u write well.. Why don't you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog ‘my dayz with myself’ took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;

BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!

This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. :)

Cheers,
Ray

Anonymous said...

Ok, Concluding " main tumhare bachche ki maa banne wali hoon", Gori ke maa-baap reacts and says "Ey Bhagwaan.. ye tune kya kiya". and God upsets thinking saala kiya to Ranjit, shakti kapoor,etc etc ne.. but ye log mera naam kyon lete hai..lolzzz
- Huzefa

Sirius Black said...

"Naheeeeeeeeeee"

"Bhagwaan maine aajtak tujhse kuch nahin maanga par aaj maangta hun"

"mujhe insaaf chahie :P"

nice post man , seems ur actually trying to write again...
Since ur wrkin with ITC m not really looking forward to your kidney lungs etc :)

Geek said...

Sahi hain Abhi,

kept laughing & smiling after reading ur blog!
Awesome analysis tha... hindi dialogues ka... :)
left kidney main interested nahin hoon...isley "No Contribution from my side."

विशाल said...

My favourite happens to be
"Bol kalmuhi kamini...kahaan mooh kaala kar aayi hai!"

Some more...
Doctor before operation..
"Inhe dawaa ki nahi dua ki zarurat hai.."

Doctor after operation
"Humne poori koshish ki..lekin afsos..."
"Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"


Ramu kaka favourite...
"Ramu kaka jara memsaab ke liye paani leke aao.."
Ramu kaka "Jee chote maalik"

Maa: beta! Yeh mujhse tu kis janam ka badla le raha hai!?
Ravi: MAA, tu kyaa keh rahee hai? Maa: Beta, yeh wohi Seth Gangaram hai jisne tere pitaajee kaa khoon karvayaa thaa! (I lurv the background scores here everytime!)



One of heroes left/right hand
"XXX tumhaare behen aur Sapna(the heroine) ko uthaake ghati ke taraf gaya hai..."

After this the heroine...
"Mujhe yakeen hai Suraj aayega...jaroor aayega,aur mujhe leke jaayega..."

Meanwhile back home..the heroines mother
"He bhagwan, meri jaan le le, aur mere beti ki jaan bacha de"

After all the dishum dishum and honeymoon songs,the hero goes to his masterji to inform about good news..
Masterji:"Khade khade muh kya dekh rahe ho, jaao, ab to sab ka mooh meetha karna hai."

Heroines baap:
" Haraamzaadey! Teri itni himmat! Meri beti par dorey daalta
hai! Teri haesiyat he kya hai?"

later...
"Yeh lo pachchaas hazaar rupaih aur meri beti ko hamesha ke liye bhool jao."



Dude! you got me going like anything!

Ritu said...

that was hillarious! some others are: -

kutte! kamine! mai tera khoon pi jaoonga!

bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chod do...

ab ise dawa ki nahi dua ki zarurat hai...

agar apni ma aur behen ki salamati chahte ho to purani haweli ke peeche poore 50 hazaaar leke pahaunch jao!

yeh sunne se pehle mai mar kyon nahi gayi!!


I'll post when I remember more! :D

Anonymous said...

Ok, Concluding " main tumhare bachche ki maa banne wali hoon",

Gori ke maa-baap reacts and says "Ey Bhagwaan.. ye tune kya kiya".

And God upsets thinking saala kiya to Ranjit, shakti kapoor,etc etc ne.. but ye log mera naam kyon lete hai..lolzzz

To Teri Kurkure waali Kidney abh meri hui abhi...

- Huzefa

rohit mishra said...

"agar ladki apne paer se paer taakraaye to uska matlab haan hota hia.."
this was said by pran in one of the movies.. when he asked his daughter " beti, kya tumhe kishan se pyaaar hai..." aur beti, being clueless apne paeron pe se machhar hataane ki koshish kart hai...

Yachiru said...

Good, bt did not reach the magnificence of your other posts...

Chitwan said...

when doctor says, "Maine injection de diya hai, ab sab theek ho jayega"

"Bhagwaan ke ghar der hai andher nahi"...

Good post :)

Sid said...

well....i've been following ur blog since........(well it's been only 9 days)..but i do knw that u have a knack of being witty....this is good...keep it up (btw u're one of the main reasons i've decided to start my own blog)

Sanchit said...

why do i feel that u left that crappy job... dude.. iimc type posts are back.. weeeehooooooo

mOi said...

Lovely post !

A few more :

1. Mere paas bangla hai, gaadi hai, bank balance hai tumhare paas kya hai

2. Police ne tumhe charon taraf se gher liya hain - apne aap ko kannon ke haawale kar do

3. Hum jaha pe khade ho jaate hein, line wahi se shuru hoti hai

4. In every courtroom scene

Defence: par iska is case se kya talluk hai
Prosecutor: talluk hai your honour bahut gehra talluk hai

5. itna sannata kyon hai bhai?

6. Kya tumne kabhi use ye bataya ki tum bhi usse utana hi pyar karte ho

7. Aur haan ….police ko battane ki galti mat karna …

8. Eeh..Silent movie, thoda sound de na!
Tu sad sad kyon hai, happy-sad kyon nahi?
Hum sad kyun hote hain? Kyonki mann bhaari hai, heavy heavy!
Mann kab heavy, heavy hota hai? Jab mann ko koi hurt karta hai!
Mann ko kon itna hurt kar sakta hai? Jo mann ke very very close hota hai!
Mann ke very very close kon hota hai? Jiske sang mann very very happy feel karta hai!
Happy tha, isliye sad hai na, So be happy-sad not sad-sad!”

9. from KHOSLA KA GHOSLA…..

1) Bunty: (reading a writing on the brick wall) “Yahaan pishaab karna mana hai….oye kamaal hai ji. Hum yahaan pishaab karne thode hi aaye hain?”

2) Bunty: “Ab ke waale ghar se south kahaan padega?”
Cherry: “Ab ke waale se bhi wahin padega.”
Bunty: “Lo ji. Aise hi tees kilometer door jameen le li hai…”

3) Sudha: “Waise…yeh Yuvraj naam kaise rahega?”
Bunty: “Oh ji yeh cricketon waale naam safe nahin hote. Kal ko woh run banana band karega aur jootiyan isko padengi.”

4) Vijinder: “Arre auntyji…”
Bunty: “Oye aunty ko maar goli tu mere se baat kar. Us din to bade thain thain se note gin raha tha!”

10. Ranjeet: Yeh sab to theek hai, magar angrezi vangrezi aati hai ya nahi.
Amitabh: E lo kar lo baat. Are aisi angrezi ave hain ke I can leave angrez behind. I can talk english, I can walk english, I can laugh english,because english is a funny language. Bhairon becomes barren and barren becomes Bhairon because their minds are very narrow. In the year 1929 when India was playing Australia at the melbourne stadium Vijay Hazare and Vijay Merchant were at the crease. Vijay Merchant told Vijay Hazare. look Vijay Hazare, this is a very prestigious match and we must consider it very prestigiously. We must take this into consideration, the consideration that this is an important match and ultimately this consideration must end in a run.
Ranjeet: O.K., O.K.
Amitabh: In the year 1979 when Pakistan was playing against India at the Wankhade stadium Wasim Raja and Wasim Bari were at the crease and they took the same onsideration. Wasim Raja told Wasim Bari, look Wasim Bari, we must consider this consideration and considering that this is an important match we must put this consideration into action
and ultimately score a run. And both of them considered the
consideration and ran and both of them got out.
Ranjeet: O shut up.

allthecrap said...

one more..
"police ne tumhe charo taraf se ger liya hai"

lotus dew said...

tum meri ho.. sirf meri !!!

Instinctivecuriosity said...

1. Ye lo blank check, aur meri beti ki zindagi se door chale jaao.

2. (Reply)Bade Maalik,mera pyaar paiso ka mohtaaj nah hain.

:P

nidhi said...

hey you reminded me of my filmi chilhood days. when after getting scolded by mom i used to say main ghar chodd kar jaa rahi hun.
amazing!

Eternally Stupidified said...

1. Holi kab hai .... kab hai holi ??

2.Kutte ... Kamine .. mei tera khoon pi jaunga.

3.Aaj Sunday hai .... Aaj Sunday hai ... Too . Din mei Daru pine ka day hai :

4. Ek jawaan ladka aur ek jawaan ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte! :P

5. "Main kahan hun??"

6. Agar uaks baal bhi banka hua to ....

Instinctivecuriosity said...

1. Phone bajta hian, heroine ka ek chupke se conversation, aur fir ek safed saari maa puchti hian - "Kaun tha woh?"

2. Baap: "Tumhaari pagaar kitni hian?"

Itne main toh hamare ghar ke kutton ke biscuit aate hian"

3. Alternative: " Itne mein toh meri beti sirf joote khareedti hian"

4. "Mera beta aayegaaaaa!"

5. Aaj bahar mat jaiye, meri daaye aankh fadfadaa rahi hian.

:P

Sona said...

1 more ever green dialouge..!
" Tere ghar me maa behen nahin hai kya? " :P

Instinctivecuriosity said...

"Bhaiya nahi aayenge toh main shaadi nahi karungi".

Oh my god, I think I should stop now. Phoktepano ki bhi hadd hain.

ehsaas said...

from the movie maine pyaar kiya
"kapkapati raaton me dharakte dilon ki bharakti aag"

"mera pyaar koi paap nahi hain. main apne pyaar ki nishani ko nahi mitaungi"

"pushpa, main roti le aaya" abbe sabji bhi la deta to kya bigad jaata tera...cost cutting kar raha tha kya

Aditya K said...

Boss

you must watch gundaa (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0497915/) and loha..

all mithun bhagwan ki mahima gaan..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gunda_(film)

Ada said...

how about
1) Kutte, mujhe haath mat lagana ya mujhe haath lagane ki koshish mat karna ya mere paas mat aana warna main apni jaan le lungi
2)(or simply) Main apni jaan le lungi
3)bachaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooo 4) Agar saath jee na sake to saath marenge
4) Kissi ne agar aage badhne ki koshish ki to bhoon k rakh dunga

Abt the comments' part... you reinstated my belief that you type the most hilarious blogs warna mujhe laga tha depreciate ho gaya tere blogs ka humour. Awaiting the next post....

Ada said...

Did anyone (u n the ppl who commented) remember:
1) Maine shayad aapko pehle kahi dekha hai

aviralshrivastava said...

Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hai..:)

aviralshrivastava said...

ladki ka baap shadi ke mandap me ladke ke baap se- "Mai apni pagdi aapke pairo me rakhta hoo"

Lawyers used to address the other lawyer beginning with the words- "Mere faazil dost blah blah blah"

dev2die4 said...

Awesome!!!
You have really done a commendable job of aggregating these dialogues.
God work.

rt said...

Good post, I am contributing with only the condition of not receiving ur kidney come what may:

#1 Aap aa gaye?/ Achcha hua aap aa gaye! - gharelu heroine/ side role to her husband.

#2 XX darwaza kholo...main hoon tumhara/tumhari YYY

#3 aapne aane mein bahut der kar di...

#4 Main shadi karunga/gi to sirf...warna main ....

#5 doctor to unwed actress - Mubarak ho aap ma banane wali
hain..

#6 doctor to family members of teh patient: inke dimag ko gehra sadma laga hai...blah blah blah

#7 Main loot gayi, barbad ho gayi...

#8 tumne mujhe kahin ka na chhoda...ab main duniya ko kya muh dikhaungi

#9 Aaj mujhe...karne se koi nahin rok sakta...

#10 Bachao!!!!!!!!!!!


Das aur kya BAS!!

Anonymous said...

ROKO !! YE SHAADI NAHI HO SAKTI.
&
NIKAL JA MERE GHAR SE!!

PS-- Abhinav will u please tell amogs all the above (comments) dialogues which one did u like most.
as some of them are really hilarious.
Pl do if u r reading this.

-Vandy.

abhishek said...

Don't stop writing ever. You.

The Hell Butterfly said...

@ rt

the ones you quoted were unique :)

Viajero said...

ROTFLAO :D LOL

Evergreen villianification of dialogs :D

Sid said...

Hey abhi...eagerly waiting 4 the part 2 of this post....holi is coming up....so that means u get a day off.......right??wud u care 2 post the 2nd part then......consider this as a request frm an ardent reader..

Rohan Saundattikar said...

How about,

Case 1.
"Tamaam sabooto aur gavaaho ke madde nazar, ye adalat is nateeje par pahuchi hai ki mulzim dilawar singh ne hi Seth Dhanpat Raai ka Qatl kiya hai. Isiliye ye adaalat unhe dafaa 302 ke tahat, 14 saal qaide baa mushaakkat ki sazaa sunaati hai."

Case 2.
"Tamaam sabooto aur gavaaho ke madde nazar, ye adalat is nateeje par pahuchi hai ki mulzim Ravi 14 aktoobar ki toofaani raat ko is sheher mein maujood hi nahi the. Isiliye ye adaalat unhe Baaizzzzat bari karti hai."

jitendra wagh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jitendra wagh said...

Boss.. Excellent..!!!
Contribution :
1. Kya hum pehle bhi kahi mil chuke hai?.. (An age old bollywood conversation starter).
2. Tumhe/Aapko dekhkar mujhe apni/apne maa/beti/behan/bhai/pitaji ki yaad aa gayi/aa jati hai..
3. Bhagwaan ke ghar der hai, andher nahi hai... beta/beti.
4. Jo kucch hua acche ke liya hi hua
or Jo kucch hota hai acche ke liye hi hota hai..
5. Mujhe/Hamein kucch der ke liye akela chhod do..
6. Chand rupiyon/sikkon ke liye apne desh ko bechne chal tha...(any abusive word)...
7. Bilkul apne baap/maa pe gaya/gayi hai...

Dewdrop said...

Ha Ha Ha!!! not laughed so much in ages after reading a blog!!! very well written... out quintessential bollywood scripwriters have made some really well-known cliches!

Anonymous said...

1.ab inhe dava nahin dua ki zaroorat hai
2. maine aisa chamatkar pehle kabhi nahin dekha :)

Anonymous said...

jerk.

Kunal Lal said...

Nice one...Haven't read contributions from others...but here's the one I remember:

1) Ab inhein dawa nahi dua ki zarurat hai
2) Nahin, yeh nahin to sakta
3) Main kahan hun?
4) Maa, mujhe naukri mil gayi
5) Bhagwan ke ghar der hai, andher nahin
6) Mere haanth bandhe hue hain
7) Kaanoon andha hota hai
8) Kanoon ko apne haathon mein mat lo
9) Kutte main tera khoon pee jaaunga (A Dharam Paaji special)
10) Mere paas zyada waqt nahi hai

Kunal Lal said...

Nice one...Haven't read contributions from others...but here's the one I remember:

1) Ab inhein dawa nahi dua ki zarurat hai
2) Nahin, yeh nahin to sakta
3) Main kahan hun?
4) Maa, mujhe naukri mil gayi
5) Bhagwan ke ghar der hai, andher nahin
6) Mere haanth bandhe hue hain
7) Kaanoon andha hota hai
8) Kanoon ko apne haathon mein mat lo
9) Kutte main tera khoon pee jaaunga (A Dharam Paaji special)
10) Mere paas zyada waqt nahi hai

peter said...

LOL :D

i will be back again ..blogrolled u :D

ketki said...

hilarious!

Pratik said...

wicked!! lol

Sri said...

one more

father about her daughter
"Bas ab tere haath peele karna hai"

no signal said...

"Main tumhare bachee ki maa bane wal hoon" my all time favourite. Pretty interesting the way you caught "Gira Do" this made me laugh like hell.. :)

next post mein ye include kar lo..
"Mubarakh ho.. Ladka hua..

Mads said...

"Hey handsome, wanna kidnap me,eh?" --->> TOO HILARIOUS =)) :D

lovely post =)) mai tumhari asli maa nahi hun beta was the funniest

The Fox said...

I always thought Hero's mom has a kind of monopoly in this domain. There are just too many from them...here is some you guys missed out on.

Killer moms--

Agar mujhe pata hota ki meri aulad aisi nikalegi toh main apne haathon se uska gala ghont deti.

Suicidal moms--

Yeh sunne se pehle main mar kyun nahi gayi

Know-it-all moms--

"Main maan hoon na" or simply "maan hoon na"

Not-so-knowledgeable moms--

Maine tujh jaisa kamina aaj tak nahi dekha!

Die-hard moms--

Main kehti thi na mera raju jinda hai.

A close second would be courtroom drama I guess, esp the lawyer trying to save the arse of the bad guy. Some of the ones that I found missing.

Is sawal ka is mukaddame se koi talluk nahi hai.

followed by...

Talluk hai your honor

And then this one-

Aap adalat ko batayenge 26 sitambar ki raat, jab Lala Ghanshyam Lal ka khoon hua tab aap kahan the?

followed by...

Wardaat ki raat main shehar se door apne farm house mein tha

dreamz2achieve said...

Wow is the word for your blog entries...simply out of the world writing style.

wildflower said...

:) m jus laughin..plain laughing..hahaha!

dipti said...

Must have taken a lot of thinking....... and endless stream of films....

Now..which one do you think Kimi Katkar would say wid conviction??

harshita singh said...

lol..awesome ..

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