Friday, October 02, 2009

Of death , movies and other regular stuff

So , the last time I wrote something here , was a time when Kapil Dev was in polka dotted diapers and dinosaurs used to prance around the earth with gay abandon . Ok , that’s a slight exaggeration about the extent of my absence , but you get the drift.

Absenteeism reasons , though I assume you care more about the dirt stuck under the nail on your left little finger than my absenteeism reasons , range from being busy with a domesticised and less grandiose version of that part of Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum where Bacchan Saab tells SRK that he must not marry Kajol ( Oh yeah , now this is the part which makes my female friends go "oh wow ! Bata na Bata na ") , to , settling in a job where the best part of my day remains hitting the coffee button on the sputtering machine or discovering the OS on my laptop has crashed.

But this being a late weekend night when I rest with a un-full tummy ( you know , with the advent of better preservation gadgets , my mom has really minimised cooking now ) and nothing much on the TV , I think I will talk about something , which is totally unaligned with the kind of person I am . I mean , considering the kind of person I am , the deepest conversation I should be having should be about some elephant with a real bad digestion , but I say with the unflinching honesty of a Vinod Kambli on Sach ka Saamna , I am not trying to seem like the next Aristotle here . All I am trying to do is talk rather pointlessly about something which has been hovering in the back alleys of my mind since this morning with the feeble yet significant buzz of a mosquito trapped in your ear canal – Death.

Death , you know . That part of life which ends it . Considering that I have not yet not died though many sensible people have tried to eradicate me , I don’t know how it must be after death , but I do imagine it to be very quiet , relaxed , solitary and chill after death . I am not sure if there is a heaven for the good guys and a hell for the bad guys , and as a result , I am not very concerned about the old woman I pushed off the stairs last week . I mean , you understand how annoying it is to be not be able to rush down the stairs because a 67 year old ahead of you moves slower than a sofa , don’t you ? But the fact remains that I am going to die someday , wether it happens when I am digging into a hotdog ( I hope I have finished the most of it by that time , mommy says food should not be wasted ) or it happens when I am wedged between the rubber tyres of a DTC bus , whether I am going to be regaled by Arabian dancers in some heaven , or be served as supper to hungry devils in a green tubelight-ed hell .

And you know , what I am thinking about is that moment , that moment which is sitting delicately at the end of the road called life as it ends , yet opens up into the unknown chasm called death . That moment , when I will be on the verge of being lifted by death , and I will know in my heart “Shit yaar , yeh end hai , ab picchar baaki nahi hai mere dost” . Now no “Dawa ya Dua” can save me ! No people , no movies , no cars , no boss , no relationships , no money , no smiles , no Himesh Reshammiya , no fights , no competitions , no career , no TV , nothing , after the event called Death .

That moment , when I will know in my heart , that irrespective of my willingness to go or not , I would be gone next moment . In that moment , I imagine myself to feel guilty about the heart I broke , happy about the smile I brought on a face , sad about the moment I should have told my mother I loved her but did not , proud of the moment I believed in someone and stood by her , happy about the times I spent laughing with my friends , grateful for the moments somebody knew me as I am and accepted me , heartbroken about being a son lesser than a son I should have been . And just experiencing a little of that moment by writing about it , I am shocked by how easily do I forget what really matters . Kitni choti choti baton par senti ho jaata hoon main ! I mean , how easily do I forget that I am going to die and a lot of stuff doesn’t really matter . How easily do I forget that however blind I may try to be to my reality , that moment will thrust the sum of deeds in my face without leaving me with an escape route . How easily do I allow myself to lose perspective and be drowned in the useless ego fights , pointlessly hurting the very people I love , choosing not to express my love just because I am too proud to do so , not taking that stupid seeming but heartfelt leap because I never have . How easily I forget the impending arrival of that last moment , and as a result , how easily I forget what really matters during the moments I have between now and that moment . How easily do I let myself be scared by the insecurities of a life unknown and continue to suffer a situation I don’t enjoy when that moment will snatch away whatever fake securities I build around myself . How easily I shut up my heart and listen to all the voices around me , when in the end , the only voice I will have to hear is the voice of my heart . How easily I forget death , and thus , how easily I forget how to live . I mean , sometimes I really need this perspective check and get out of the holed up thinking and view life in a more cool manner . Saala khul ke jeena bhool jaata hoon yaar . I mean , I act like I have a lot to lose and get all scared and calculated , when hai kya mere paas khone ke liye ?

I know you are either confused , or bored , or both and would label the drivel above as some cheap regurgitation of some pocket book sized Geeta I recently read . But you know , I am just talking to myself , like those bollywood-ish village crackheads who roam around the village mumbling to themselves with their overgrown and uncombed hairstyles and are taunted and stoned by the half naked village urchins .

So chill , don’t walk out of this blog feeling all suicidal and kill yourself by smelling your own feet . Aise hee baat kar raha tha kakke . And the movie season kicks in pretty soon now , with Wake up Sid and Do Knot Disturb released today , and I really need to spike up my movie watch counter this weekend . If any of you stays around Palam Vihar and needs company over a movie , I am totally in , though don’t think I am running some shady “frandship club” with those heart shaped ads in hindi newspapers. By the way , watched "What’s your Rashee” today , and even though the end is a bit “Hain??” types , the movie did seem pretty delightful and 'feel good' to me . Moral of the story - Harman Baweja is not that bad an actor . I mean , he is a bit wooden , but not exactly teak . Second moral of the story - Just because I noticed Harman does not mean I am not straight !

And before I go back and cook some maggi for me ( Oh yes , it’s 11.48 in the night and I am really hungry , courtesy the fact that mommy offered me “kal ke raajma and parso ke chawal” for dinner) , please see the stuff posted below , which is about a Brand Management course for Designers being offered by ‘Brands of Desire’ , a Strategic Brand Consultancy and Design Company based out of New Delhi . I can vouch for it that if you are a student of design or a working designer , the course can help you learn some pretty useful things about further upgrading your skill sets . Mail to know more.


Brands of Desire is proud to launch India's first ever
"Brand Management Course for Designers".


Anonymous said...

too long a post.. but m glad.. ur ok.. missing u today terribly..

Anonymous said...

can v talk today??? plss

rucsb said...

Dere is a pattern of jumping frog in all ur posts. LOL.


axea said...

A very different and thought provoking post.
Have been following your blog for quite some time now.
Just wanted to say Hi and thank you for spreading good cheer.
Good luck and god bless.

Vandita said...

i was feelin pretty bad myself when i read ur post just now...
now im thinking why the hell am i thinking so much, i cant control anything anyways.
u did make me smile.. thanks abhi :)

PS: mujhe bhi movies dekhni hai, i just have NO ONE to go with :((

aviralshrivastava said...

are you becoming a different person from what you used to be...there is a long gap between your posts and now there is hardly anything to laugh about in them...though they are still as good to read as they used to be...more thought provoking...and a lot more serious

Take a Hike said...


I guess we can make this blog a platform for those who want to watch movies on weekends but do not have company. If anyone in Bangalore, then drop me a line...

Mr Chamko said...

yeah....its becoming boring...

perhaps your audience is not growing up with

priyanka said...

A very different post from you, indeed. Nice one as usual.Keep writing.

nagardee said...

on death is it ??
its good that you said it, i really enjoy reading ur blogs but i was beggining to wonder if jokes are all you do ?
but the blog was nice. i am sure all of us at some point of our lives feel the way u've felt in the blog, its just that we dont say it, sometimes not even to ourselves.
anyways, enjoy the movies.

proxy said...

hmm...after that whole paragraph about death
(what all u forgot bit) can consider an alternative career as a lyricist..just re-write the whole thing in hinglish..!

ravi said...

just arrived at ur blog 2 days these 2 days i hv read all ur post in last 2 year..need not to say they were awesome..njoyed fully..
keep posting

Abhinav said...


Anonymous said...

dude wat went wrong?? in posts as well???...:(

Btw years ago u wrote a post on death that was better...

Galaxian said...

Keep Writing ! :-)

chetna said...

was told to read your post MANY MANY times by frns.. today i did n liked it.. liked hoe ur job pertains 2 seein ur laptop crashed.. hv a similar 1.. :-) bt its all about the money..

skipped the last two paars must add

Sari said...

well...ib itney dino k baad kuch aapney likha hai to socha main bhi kuch likh hi ..well...

krystaleye said...

After I read the relationship between blogging and making a baby pee which was earlier described in one of your posts, I'm now quite used to wait for 3-4 months for a new post from you.

But you made me think about the mistakes I've committed. I hope I'm not taking them back when I die.

Any way nice post but I missed the humor

KP said...

good to hve u bk:)

rt said...

welcome back!! now that you have done the thinking part(which wasnt that bad ) can we have the happy dude back ? - we need to balance out the heavy doses of thoughts you have pushed in our minds?!

Anonymous said...

Good insight post......small things in life value a senti ..hope your after life will be great .. with arabian dancers ...

satish said...

you know what death will not be so thought provoking if every body else died with you.

Ishan said...

a diff post..keep posting ...

Anonymous said...

lacking insight.... way too long... yet must say...gud to hv to bck :)

Anonymous said...

Umm.. mebbe a tad too irrelevant, but y do u type in a ',' (comma) after a space?

Anonymous said...

very well written, but just a passing thought, why should one care for the time when one will not be here.

I would want to care about the days I live rather than worry about death.

Namrata said...

hey..hv been an avid follower of this blog since sometime now and wanted to post a customer "keep-writing-u-have-a-dedicated-following" comment. I think humour is the most difficult genre and ur analogies are extremely funny!

Me_wid_Myself said...

Hayyllowww Abbii..

Kee hoya kaake.. eenii saarrii vaddi vaddi gllaaa.. ??

Chill maarr kaake... tu toh hasda khelda hee bda "tthhayyy" lagta haii..

Aurr vaise bii kuchh logo ki gaddii toh gudwill naal he chaldi haii nd u sweetheart are one of them...


chaman raj said...

why dont u write a book..whichh everyone of us will buy..end ur crappy job more movies..write more..everyone's happy.

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Anonymous said...

Sorry for off topic, but 2012 is close, is this really matter?

Anonymous said...

Hey Abhi!! Love your expression!! Read your mind, oops I mean thots, but could't as much as catch a glimpse of email cell number...nothing "frandship clubbish" about me either...just a desire to communicate...

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