Tuesday, May 03, 2005

My daughter's boyfriend

Its about to happen anytime now. No bells would sway heavily at any church or temple or masjid ; no white or black or maroon smoke outta any chimneys and no channel wud cover it , not even cartoon network .But its a decently historical moment in my life. I am about to get the first salary of my life.Wont be crisp and good smelling cash but a much more "seedha saadha" cheque. Even the amount is not astronomical enough to trouble any satellites or stars up there but then its decent enough for a 23 year old bachelor with no "zamindar ka karz" to pay , no " ma ka operation" to be paid for and no "chote bhai ki fees" to handle.

In other words , its good enough for a 23 year old bachelor with no immediate responsibilities to handle.Infact , my parents have been handling all the serious stuff in my life and to my discomfort , have started to urge me to be more responsible lately.Responsible about things like awareness of paperwork regarding our property , ironing my shirts and shorts myself , getting up on time and not chewing too noisily.

And this makes me think. Now , I have got a very carefree existence right now ,as I have already highlighted in rather filmy phrases in the preceding para .All I have to do with some kind of seriousness is study. Which I have been doing to a decent degree , i sneaked into a pretty reasonable engineering college and then directly pole-vaulted to IIM Calcutta.

But now as the formal education part of my life is about to end in an year or so, provided I dont flunk , I think about life. And when I think about life after IIM , I see a job in some kind of multinational , I see my boss cursing me , I see long working hours , I see keyboards , I see career moves , I see balance sheets , and I see a lot of other important but unromantic stuff . And a little later , I see a wedding. And to my slight horror , I see that this is my wedding.This is a very crucial and "scrutiny demanding" episode of my life's soap opera .I am a little confused about this thing called shaadi .

Agreed , I may marry a person to share my sorrows and joy n moments but what if the girl turns out to be more interested in stuff like forcefully discussing about how my neighbour gets a new car every three months , or how she finds my way of chewing irritating enough to make people jump off a running train , or how she makes me watch "jassi jaisi koi nahin" instead of soccer on TV . What if shes an "ekta kapoor-TV serial-inspired" lady dripping stuff like jealousy and family politics and backbiting.

In more polite terms , what if she turns out to be someone who is not "my type" ,which anyways very very few females have been identified to be,infact i have been unlucky to bump into some highly stupid and disgustingly intolerable females throughout my nursery school , school and college.And I am certainly not the guy to follow girls like sum puppy on a leash , like some guys are.

And even if shes mature , its a hell of a job raising kids , which i think will automatically follow in a few months time frm my wedding , if I am biologically capable enough , which I vigorously claim I am.You see , the fun part about cute babies ends soon enough , n thereafter its about serious work.I would wonder how much to "donate" for their school admissions , how to stop my son from flunking in maths yet again , how to make my wife stop attending kitty parties and pick up kids from judo classes instead , how to stop my daughter from meeting that guy in her college who looks like a gangster and is found drunk every fornight. And then they grow up , and you worry about IIT s and IIMs and how to get your kid into them. And then they grow up further and you see them going off to silicon valleys and other such valleys while you are left applying "zandu balm" to the hurting joints in your body and reading spiritual articles.

In short , I see life after marraige as a little bit of fun and love and sharing and a lot of responsibility and sweat and tension.But this is just my view , and I need to figure out why almost everybody goes through this seemingly not so relaxing experience.

So I have to ask .

If you are unmarried and plan to marry , why ?
If you are already married and dont plan to get divorced soon , why ?
If you are married once ,then divorced and plan to remarry , why ?

I gotta think .It scares me to imagine about my imagined daughter's beer-guzzling boyfriend who carries a gun .

**********************************************************************************

Added later :

I just came across this quote from the movie "shall we dance".

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness."

Makes me think a little...lagta hai ghar basana hi padega....

Parting note- I got my cheque today and have been adoring it , smelling it , wiping it clean , caressing it since then.

23 comments:

saurabh ohri said...

hi
u have scared me by summing of the whole life of urs in a single post.whew

u missed some points
1)how to prevent ur neibhour staring at ur wife
2)"which i think will automatically follow in a few months time frm my wedding"----> u can obvioulsy lengthen up the period.
3)at ur old age whether ur son or ur daughter(or her beer guzzling bf) would be ur support?

enjoy
saurabh

Abhi said...

@ saurabh : in a pointwise response
1.Dont worry.my neighbour wud face the same problem.
2.something tells me i shud say weeks.
3.only hope is the beer guzzling bf.

Angel said...

hey...why're you sounding cynical??? Men are social animals, and so you need somebody you can call your own and be sure that she's gonna be there for you applying zandu balm when your daughter and her beer guzzling bf go to some valley or when your son takes off with his ekta kapoor serials kinda girlfriend dripping jealousy and what nots :)

rohit kaul said...

hmmm...kyaa boss...itna preplanning??? u r talking like a true consultant now:) :) and bout tht beer guzzling bf with a gun..jst make him read ur blog and u know nxt ;) ;)

adios
rohitPS btw congrats for ur frts sal..do tell us how did ya spend it...like "maa ke liye shawl" "bauji ke liye kurta payjama" and sum thing simila r or...??

Neha said...

hey u write pretty well :) had a nice time reading your posts!

Vidhi said...

hmmm...that was interesting...but as we all know, life is like that! and that's where the beauty of it lies!

ANGEL_NIDHI said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
karthika said...

hey,abhi..life is all about tackling this mess..thats the fun of it..just imagine a life without responsibilites..no ambition..isn't this life much more challenging.:)

ANGEL_NIDHI said...

well the way u think ... its totally differnt from others.so im sure ur life isint gonna be like the regular lives around :D .. so ..itni saari preplanning is not gonna be of ne help.. :)

i suggest think in the creative and different manner u think.. and then put down abt ur future life .. it will me more fun.. for all of us to read it :)

well i must say wonderful way of expressing thoughts.. its so much fun 2 b at ur blog..

bye tc

nidhi

Simi said...

hi...hav been following ur blog since lil while....nice way of expressing...sweet life...rare to find this innocence these days..keep rocking buddy...!

Abhi said...

@angel :Thats a very valid point.someone to apply zandu balm during my "budapa"...i guess i can afford a servant , why a wife ?jus kiddin sister ;).if you order , main shaadi karunga .

@rohit "iim" kaul: its great to see youngsters still thinking of buying "kurta pajama" for bauji..(tears of joy streaming down)

@neha : thanx.please visit again.( man , why does this sound like sumthing from a hotel's reception?).

@V : yea all lives are like that.job , wedding , kids.but mine too ? sooo boring...

@karthika :who says i dont hav ambitions.ill have kids , but marriage ?

@angel_nidhi :you have given me the highest horror..oops..honor to befall me in a long time. u have actually said that I "think".believe me , no one ever thought that I actually think.

@simi : i am innocent !( fluterring eyelashes n shy smile)

Abhi said...

newsbreak : I still havent got my salary ! abe paisa kab doge ??? its all about money , honey..

ANGEL_NIDHI said...

wow ! its a life time experience.. to find a person... whi cant "think" and actually put down his "thinkin" so well on his blog :-s :-D :)

dnt mind.. ws kiddin

bye

Dreamcatcher said...

too much timeon ur hands? and thinking aboutyour daughter's bf ....wow slow down.

Angel said...

....and we have a recovert :) congrats bro....now where's that commission that sweet sisters generally get ???

MrCool370 said...

Hey thats not true
I only carry a gun sometimes
and I only drink vodka

Abhi said...

@angel_nidhi:i never said i dint think.but others dint recognise that fact.ur one of the few to actually "parakhofy" this "heera".

@DC : this is planning miss.this is planning.i am going to think abt my granddaughter sometime soon.

@angel:yea thanx sister.but the commission ? i thot u said "sweet" sisters.so dont u wurry;).

@mrcool370:aha ! so here you are.wait a minute. aint a few years early ?n don mind , but doesnt ur name sound like some mint mouth freshener's?mrcool370.for fresh cool breath all thru the day !!! dont mind buddy !!jus kiddin.

rohit kaul said...

Ok abhinav..heres the deal...i dont drink beer , i dont have a gun and i dont mind having a pa-in-law whose a VP of a big firm...wat da ya say....shagun leke aaoon advance mein :D :D :D

adios
rohit

Anonymous said...

Jain...STOP complaining about ur life on the net. If you need a gf and cant find one, grab a magazine! You have an internship, concentrate on the job at hand (no pun intended:-) ) and the girls will follow. Again, STOP the self pity crap!!
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