Thursday, July 13, 2006

From a beach

Time : 5:28 pm
Date : 12th July
Place : A beach in Calicut
Written on : Scrawled on the back of the rate list of ITC cigarette brands. Copied to the blog later .

Till about half an hour back , the most water in one place I had seen was a bathtub maybe .Now an entire sea spreads out before me . The waves rise up , roll towards me while spilling foam and froth , then thin out gradually till begin their retreat some seven feet away from where I sit . The hotel I am staying stands just across the road . The hotel is called 'seaqueen hotel' . It sounds more like some shady dance bar in downtown mumbai , sandwiched between blue moon hotel and dark pleasure hotel .But it's a completely under 18 , sushma swaraj approved hotel .

One thing which makes me stand out as an open fly is the fact that I am alone .Everybody is with someone on this beach . I see a lungi clad grandfather sitting on a big stone and reading a book while his grandkids are trying to put together something using wet sand . I hope they are not trying to make a castle , because what's coming up looks like a sandy version of a headless adnam sami . Basically a big sphere of sand .

A young couple sits some distance away . They fling some kind of 'chana' to a gang of crows . I didn't know there were crows on beach too . I thought they were found only on dead dogs on the highway and open dustbins in Delhi . The expression on the couple's faces is like they are going to the court to sign the divorce papers as soon as the feeding ends .I should have guessed that without the facial expressions too . A couple needs to be ten minutes away from a divorce to find 'feeding crows' the most cool thing they can do on a beach .

I wonder why the guys selling peanuts and ice creams are approaching me with alarming frequency . Maybe some kind of alone-guy-on-beach-must-be-depressed-will-eat-ice cream-to-lift-mood theory is at play in their heads.


It's beginning to rain now . People are opening their umbrellas and beginning to stand up to leave . I think I can sit some more . Atleast something good about not having ma around . She would have yelled "Beemar ho jayega ! Andar aa !" .

A gang of young guys seem to be fresh out a krissh show here . They are too far out in the sea .One big wave and their names are getting longer by a word called late .As it is , it would take sacrificing a huge blob of self dignity to give a mouth to mouth to any of them . Except the one in the electric blue vest maybe . People are looking at me strangely . A young man sitting all alone on beach sand writing on a piece of paper . I don't blame them if they think I am writing a suicide note before I jump head first in the waves .

And of course , how can there be a beach without the young , pink and rosy coochie coochie couples . But they are pretty censored here in Kerala . The movies taught me that at any beach , the couples were either kissing or trying to find a big rock to kiss behind it . But the couples here are just holding hands , looking at the waves , smiling . A very 1970-ish elegant and controlled sense of romance .

I guess I should get up now . Big drops of water fall with a plop on this sheet of paper . And I am not high on Zingaro Beer .I guess it was just a need to talk to someone which got me writing these unbelievably pointless lines . And yeah , in case you know anybody here in calicut and think he/she would want a little company , please mail me . Else I am getting a dog . I would prefer walking a dog on the beach rather than writing such stuff .



44 comments:

Abhishek Upadhyay said...

Abe kyon khushaal couples ke beech mein divorce kara raha hai.
Waise tu kya jaane ga ek married couple ke emotions....

Waise I am first today...GOLD.

Robert Frust said...

There is at least one place where you'veseen more water than in a bathtub: the IIMC lake.
I feel the same way, and I'm in an office in Bangalore.
Also, de-lurking. Great blog!

Shekhar said...

Arre sahi hai bhai..Transport yourself to the Mumbai Juhu beach and travel 2 months back in time, and you would be me. Except the writing bit, of course. But its nice that you're close to the sea. I never get bored seeing the waves rising and falling.

sopeti said...

in-form-ative :-)

Fursat said...

tu romantic kyon ho raha hai?

Shreyansh said...

Don't get a dog ...cuz it was nice imagining what you wrote.
Not pointless!! :P

mintykulkarni said...

hey!
Nice post! boring things look very funny while you describe in your style.

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Sirji, you should learn something from the "alone-guy-on-beach-must-be-depressed-will-eat-ice cream-to-lift-mood" conspiracy theorists! Maybe ITC will find a better target consumer... optimism never hurts! :D

Anonymous said...

Just imagine : munnu in lungi and with dog :)

isnam said...

I know you've heard this about a million times but hey, nice post! You really shouldnt get a dog or else you'll be depriving people of these meaningful lines! Beautiful imagery.

shweta said...

tinku gng to a beach ...wth another tinku ...lol ....
dog ...!!!bad idea ...
u need smething ...else ...smebuddy to do ur brainwash ...nd give u a dose ...
ok ....i am harsh ....u can say tht ...but seriously ..its hard to digest u in a sublime mood ...!!!
newayz ...tinku ...nxt time u go to beach ...remeber u hve ur radio on ...
nd stop disturbing those pinch cocchie coos ....
shwets...

lotus dew said...

:)............kerela !!!!

Raza said...

This one made me feel like I am there.
You can do great movie scripts with that piece of paper. Do not deprive us of these beautiful posts.

Atlas said...

Hi abhi,
Me n frenz have been reading your blog for many months now...had to break my aversion to comment :)
Well all I can say is your sense of humour rocks.
Offlate I read in one of your posts that you were gonna stop blogging...well please don't ...unless of course you need to spend more time with bijlee :)

anu said...

hmmm...its so gr8 to listen frm after a long time . well no matter how pleasant or romantic a place is if thr is none to company n den its ma who come first in our mind n heart ...nyways all d best . may u get somone better to company den a dog !

Rose said...

Poor Hitler.. Having to sit alone in front of a beautiful ocean checking out lungi-clad grandpas and guys in blue vest.. Ahem! Ahem! :D

I think u shud get a dog.. ;)

P.S - People in Kerala do jump behind rocks to make out given the chance.. The prob is chances are rare..

:)

..Me

Raam Pyari said...

you must post some pics of ur city!!!!!!!

inshallah, time mile toh zaroor kariyega

adab

ONE said...

I'd like you to continue with ur solitary sojourns.. if this is the kind of stuff u can churn otu whe 'wanting' to talk to someone.. lol...
good post though.. was a treat to read...

candid diary said...

Get a nasty-looking dog. It will scare the guys selling peanuts and ice creams.

sunshine said...

Find a dog? You serious munnu? I mean pehle humne socha tha ki.. err.. anywayz, ahem ahem. Wait till Maneka Gandhi hears about it. You sure you want a dog? I mean you sure nothing else would do? How about a cute sari clad Malayali woman with kajra and gajra? And oye, couldn't you just dial a number if you were feeling so lonely? You know that's the number where you get a ready made and free supply of stuffs that makes all the beef selling shops put together at shame. You remember the last one, don't you?

Guess I too would be feeling like you once I've left home. It's kinda scary, you know!!

shri ram charith said...

hey........nice blog....funny...like ur style...makes d vapid ....vivid...cool..

Sumit said...

dog !!!!
samajh gya beta .. beach pe sexy n fit girls joggin n runnin wid their dogs ..
tabhi tere mind mein ye khurafati idea aaya .. sab samajhta hun ..

try karke batana .. fir main bhi aisa kuch karun !

divya said...

aree u dont need to get a dog. i think i can convince my brother to lend u PEKRU. done with my exams yaar. i`m a 75% engineer now. how many Shakeela movies have u watched so far in kerla?? i`ve heard that she is a bigger star than mohan lal there.
will call u tom..have to tell u about an interesting incident regarding ur courier from iimc

Sirius Black said...

GET a dog :P
Atleast it ll save ya from those ice cream sellers.

Suds said...

Hey man I don't know why I keep reading ur "unbelievably pointless lines" but they are fun..:)

Are dog is a great idea. Man here in my area all Babes have dogs and all dogs have evening get together.. I was also thinking on getting one but my wifey din't like the idea..:):)

Enjoy...

dharmu said...

mere pyaare munnu beta, will mamooty and mohan lal's ph# do?

hey, i told you that i will take you to mlore beaches na, kya munnu?
its ok, we will build sand castles and bridges there ok? also throw channas to the crows and yes, hunt for those choochi coo couples.

hey,travel around macha,and yes, get a dog.

Bharat Jhurani said...

hey.. the iimc lake is sure full with water, atleast during the springs...

ketki said...

walking with a dog on a beach?????????
can u not u find anyone else?????????
:) i would have prefered walking with that dadaji listening stories or may be even playing with his grand children rather than walking a dog!

Sayesha said...

Bahut refreshing post hai, Abhi :)

puneet said...

dude..is it your first time at beach??

Anonymous said...

hey Abhinav , share ur feelings abt what u saw on beach,
myself at IIMK. visited beach once .

where u put up?

Anonymous said...

arre u can feel lonely newhere..i feel lonely here in this flashy crowded world of mine..n act i wud prob b more at peace in front of the sea :)

AJITH said...

oops, saw this post a little bit late :( . I was at Calicut last week.

just_a_girl said...

heheh!! I am laughing about the guy on the beach, alone, in the rain.. they sers must have thought u were writing a suicide note! :):)

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Life Lover said...

LOL, this one got me in splits--"One big wave and their names are getting longer by a word called late ." ;)

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Paro said...

Seaqueen- the best place to have paneer tikka in calicut ( dnt tell me you didnt try it)
Seaqueen- cheapest daru among all the "good" hotels in calicut ( Taj-too expensive, Hyson-too shady, Kadavu- too far & too expensive, Paragon- too mallu)

anyway you could have dropped by IIMK campus. would hv met a lot of vella people :D

am surprised why I didnt see you hanging around seaqueen.. its the fav haunt of campus chaps and chappies (eeks!)

am surprised u didnt see any gay couples on the calicut beach.. its famous for that..tumhe dekh kar bhaag gaye honge .. :P

You post made me miss college now...

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