Monday, August 28, 2006

Khud hee rakh le

I have been a very sinful person all my jeevan . Starting with the age of three when I burnt my sister's barbie doll's hair to just fifteen minutes ago when I picked up a coin from a blind beggar's bowl , I have done enough wrong to justify a fully furnished apartment in jahannum. So I do a good deed now and use this blog to let people know about an event a friend of mine is involved with . Pad lo and if you are interested in quizzing , dive in .
Armageddon 2006
Sinister shadows shroud the World,
Death-knell signal doom,
No magic shall shield thee,
Sheer knowledge be thy saviour.
Let the war begin...
Introduced in the year 2001, ARMAGEDDON is a Business Quiz organised by the BMS students of Mulund College of Commerce, Mumbai.
Armageddon-2005 witnessed a congregation of the best business quizzing brains from across the country. The onstage finale saw Amit Pandeya (QuestaSoft) and Kiran K (Qualteam) vanquishing the likes of Mitesh Agarwal and Ajay Kasargod (Sun Microsystems / WYSE Technologies), Rohan Khanna and Gajendra Kothari (Accenture / UTI AMC), Gururaj and Vijay (JWT / JP Morgan), G Sreekanth and Sabyasachi (TCS) and Arvind Khusape and Aniruddh (SBI / SIES) to clinch the coveted title.
The torchbearers of hardcore biz quizzing are back with Armageddon 2006, and promise to unleash a whole new world of knowledge excellence.
The quiz will comprise of a Written Elims from which the Top 6 teams will go through to the Finals.
Following are the details:
Date & Time:10th September at 12 noon
Team Members:Two per team(A Team can comprise of participants from two different institutions / organisations)
Entry Fee:Free for students and Rs. 150 per team for corporates
Venue:Mulund College of CommerceSarojini Naidu Road,Mulund (W), Bombay - 400080
Prizes: First - Rs. 25000 Second - Rs. 15000 Third - Rs. 10000
Spykar gift vouchers worth Rs. 5000 to all teams in the finals.
For further details:
Samruddhi - 09833524561
armareturns@gmail.com or dhanu80@rediffmail.com
Here are a few questions from Armageddon-2005
1. It was unveiled on Oct 12, 1988 in a packed Davis Symphony Hall in San Francisco, by demonstrating its ability to run four stopwatches at once and give a synthetic rendition of Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech. What?
2. Edward Bellamy, a lawyer and author, in his utopian book "Looking Backward: 2000-1887" described a society where transactions would essentially be conducted between the consumer and the Government and every citizen would have a share of the annual product of the nation. What term did he coin as a result?
3. Its roots can be traced back to 1979 when William Bernbach got the inspiration from banks who were offering toasters and electric blankets to their best customers and to new customers for opening accounts. It was launched on May 1, 1981 under the name 'AAdvantage'. What?
4. Introduced in the 1870s, there are currently four in number and are operated simultaneously. Measuring 18 inches in diameter, they were manufactured by the G S Edwards Company of Connecticut. In the late 1980s, it was decided to refurbish them and add another one as a back-up. However, it was discovered that such of its kind were no longer being made by any company. Hence, G S Edwards Co. agreed to make a special replica and brought employees out of retirement to handle the job. While this was being done, an older one was discovered, which was polished and is now used as a spare one. What am I referring to?
5. A short film titled 'True', directed by Charles Stone III featured his childhood friends Fred Thomas, Paul Williams and Scott Brooks who would sit around using the catch-phrase ‘_______’. It caught the attention of copywriter Vinny Warren who signed Stone to direct television commercials for a brand based on the film. Identify the brand / catch-phrase.
************************************
Since the time I have landed in Kerala , some exciting changes have come upon me . Like I have become a couple of shades darker . Though I would like to express that I think it's more of a mexican salma hayek-ish tan for which firangs lie naked in the sun all day , a more casual observer may think I have been eating coal pieces as dessert .And another thing which startles me is that so many people call me 'sir' at work . I mean , you give a double breasted reid and taylor suit to an ugandan tribal who has always been in his natural state and he roasts and chews up the suit because he is just not used to being covered . On similar lines , when a guy whose last encounter with any kind of 'izzat' belongs to the stone age is suddenly pushed into a life where 42 year old men address him as 'sir' , it leaves him feeling strange .

And tussi believe nahi karoge , my parents have been approached with the first formal proper 'rishta' of my life ( Mar jaawa khatta kha kar . sharma gaya main hai hai ). Though at my age , most police forces around the world will arrest me for child marriage , I have been given ten days to think if I can actually think about marriage yet . So jaago bharat ki naariyo and tell me you have always wanted to be my dulhan , before I become 'paraya dhan' forever.

And as a part of work , train travelling is becoming a hugely regular part of my life . I have got so used to it that yesterday I woke up groggily at my hotel room and straightaway sleepwalked to the window to see which station it was . But with all the revenues I am single handedly generating for the Indian Railways , I think I deserve a superfast express or atleast some railway platform named after me . Kitna heartwarming lagega just to hear the voice boom on the central announcement speakers "Bilaspur se Purulia jaane wali gaadi number teen teen do ek , ab se kuch hee der mein hitler ki aatma memorial platform par aayegi."

But though I started off thinking all this train travelling is the worst thing to happen to me since the time gave a class presentation with my fly open , I am beginning to find it interesting . Now I am not the kind of guy who will sit mum through a four hour journey and keep staring out of the window with a grim expression like he is up for a vasectomy surgery right after he gets off the train. I get on the train , find my seat , push in the bag , sink down my seat , kick off my shoes , pull out a pack of spanish tomato lays from my bag , tear it open , offer the chips to the guy next to me and say "Hi". So unless the guy on the next seat is a real serious and grim guy who speaks as much as a wooden door does , I end up knowing a lot ranging from how his dad met his mom to why his second girlfriend left him . Like I have managed to exchange telephone numbers with a lady doctor , a civil engineer settled in dubai , a school principal and an 'export-import' guy , all people I met in trains over the last month . ( The last guy would only say "export-import' when I asked what he did . I am not sure , but the movies taught me all 'export -import' guys are smugglers . I think he had brown sugar pouches in his bag ).
Anyway , I think I will go find dinner now . I know I have this thing to say "will find dinner" instead of a more humane "will have dinner" . I said the same thing to one of my friends recently and she said "That sounds so much like animal planet.They always say that when the jackal family ventures out to 'find dinner' after dark". And another thing which bothers me when I am moving towards closing down a post is the paanch dollar and teen paisa question - post ka title kya doon ? I guess it's all the more tough for me because what I write is as far from logical sequence as you are from dating sonia gandhi . It's so much easier to put down a title for something coherent ( Like "tears of blood" or "shards of my heart" for a poem about lost love or something ) . Anyway , I guess I will just let you do the honors this time . Assi jaa rahe hain. find dinner karne.

57 comments:

divya said...

me first ,me first, me first

divya said...

hehe... now for a proper comment. u learning to travel by train!! all the calcutta taxi drivers must be cursing the itc guys who sent u to kerala. and yeh i`ve been studying..set theory and probability all day abhinav.. i need someone to say shabaash to me.

yossarian said...

huh? train travelling? what happenned to all those promises that post-MBA we would be flying executive class and making sketches of "Hum-Tum" to please all the single girls (or married for that matter) sitting next to us?? :(

Ginni said...

buddy ur take on life---HILARIOUS.. pretty well balanced.. well Rabri devi aur laloo yadav won't have second thoughts on giving the hand of their daughter to u... I mean only d HAND... :P

secret admirer heh said...

pad lo? kyun bhai, kis khushi mein? THAT sounded so hilarious at first read..."take a notepad" or notepad/paper lo wud be more like it, coz i took pad as the hindi equivalent ;D EEEEWWWW u know what am sayun?:Dlol

Scorpion King said...

What is the Name of Munnus latest blog post ?
Should Munnu get married ??
(questions in Armageddon 2006 )

Arey teri post ko title reqd hai kya ??

Ekdam mind blowing hai : railway annoucement se animal planet taakk..

Scorpion King

jinxed said...

hi abhinav..finally i've read ur entire blog...n it was a joy ride to say d least..u r d James Bond of this blogging world..:))

ur style of humor belongs to sanjeev-kumar-in-angoor class..which i think is d best form of humor..

keep blogging buddy..u don have an idea abt d joy u r giving to ppl u don even know...n i'm one of dem

Sumit said...

babloo.. fir kya dhoonda dinner mein !!
10din mein se kinne nikal gye :P !!
n haan .. kabhi export-import ka mood bane .. to mujhe bhi batana .. hav alwayz been interested in tat !!

just_a_girl said...

That was hilarious, I sleepwalk to the window to see which station it is! haha.. :):)

Genius in the Making aka Pallavi said...

nice one..haha..you really do need to out up a pic or some sort of a promotional matrimonial ad for urself on the blog, so that the so that the "bharat ki naariyan" can check you out;)
going down to joka land in 2 days..beginning to miss bkk already! Hope you get used to 'god's own land'hehe

Anonymous said...

Awesome post dude. Mera two paisa ki suggestion ye hai ki shaadi ke chakkar me mat pad yaar. Abhi to naukri laga huva hai, thoda masti bhi karlo. Koi keral kutti nahi mili kya time pass karne? :-) Take it easy buddy.

JK

Anonymous said...

U made my day man :)

The Pirate said...

Hahaha!! too gud ... may god help you "find" ur dinner everyday. :)

its me said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
its me said...

hahhaha.. look whos travelling in trains!!

Abhi said...

@divs - wow !!!! I knew you would do something great some day , but dint expect it to be so soon .;). I know I barge into a nice fine day and start talking about cat n all , but kya karun yaar , I love giving gyan.And shabaash balwant , tussi punjab ki hope ho .lage raho !

@yossarian- hum na samjhe the baat itni see , khwaab sheeshe ke , duniya pathhar kee.jesus , you are making me senti.

@ginni- HaHa ! oye what would I do with her hand ? use it as a back scratcher ?

@secret admirer ( Uee ma . blush blush ) -Arre oh michael , I meant it as the hindi wala 'pad lo' ! :)

@SK - arre bichhoo raja , I never want to put titles on any of my posts.But kya kare , dil to pagal hain.

@jinxed - Oh come on yaar . I am not in the process of showering any pearls on the world here.I just talk what's happening in my life here.:)

@sumit - bhai dinner mein kuch doondh ke kha to liya tha , but uska naam pata nahi chala.Unidentified eating object thee.

@just a girl - :) . Abhi to havent written the entire thing.After looking to notice we are not moving , I said "kisi ne chain kheench dee kya ?".

@genius - tussi IIM C se ho ? and about the pic , I want a wife jo meri aatma se pyar kartee ho jee .what's in a face .

@Jk - time pass ? chee chee.I am a desi ghee mein boiled shareef indian boy.I dont do all this nain matakka thing . :p

@anon - sacchi ? so bas smile doge ? paisa do na plz.:)


@pirate - haha !! The friend I was talking to actually said that yar !And I was like "I am not a jackal.Not even a hyena"

@its me - :) . hans le puttar hans le.I will soon buy my very own moped.

Abhi said...

@pallavi - I am sorry . You told me about the exchange program.My memory is very bad.I have trouble remembering mom's name.sorry for the stupid question.

Chaos said...

ha ha ha ha, great post again buddy.......but you know what...i envy you.....whenever i travel in train........i have to give up lower berth seat that i manage to get after a lot of difficulty.......to some auntiji who cannot climb up to her upper berth.......and then listen to her giving me all the advices of whom to marry and whom not to...........Arre koi mujhe bachao...:((((

Fathima said...

Train travelling - from where to where?

Fathima said...

A hotel is Mumbai was named Hitler and also had Hitler's portrait in the main hall. There was a huge protest against it and the hotel management took off the portrait and decided to rename it.

ani said...

:-) hee hee... ur goooo...d!!

Anonymous said...

We have to finish a lab right now. some proteins are to be dissociated and then some coloring is supposed to take place. so we had to wait for 30 minutes. this was such a pleasure reading your blog from college comp room!

as for the title, let it be..

paap kaa devta!!

yaa

paap kee duniya!!

yaa

paapiyon se naa ankhiyan ladanaa

chalo bye!

shweta said...

yuppppppppppieeeeeeeeeee.....
waise bhi bahut tang kiya tha tune ...yupppie yuppie bol bol ke ..
toh ab sun ....to all ur appeal...i wld still say ....a million dollar statement .."aapki rosie darling mil jaaye aapko"....!!!evil grin i noe ...cant help saying this..nd inbtwn ...badhiya hai ...apan dono hi revenue badha rahe hain ...today i waited for an hr ...last mein aayi train ...slowly like a snail ...missed my first class ....grrr...to the train chalane wallah ....huh ...watever ....!!!
shwets
p.s:was thinking to write smething connected but ..err... leave it na ...disconnected pieces makes more sense than connected ones wat say ..???

adi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mini'mum' said...

cool post..son.. u made my day...
but u shud have provided answers to those questions also:((((((((..
i dunno answer to question 2:(((

For ppl(like me) who get bugged if they can't find answer...
answers:
1. NeXT computer
3.frequent flyer program by American Airlines
4.Brass Bells in New York Stock Exchange which signals the beginning and ending of trading each day
5. Brand:Budweiser beer..n catch phrase.. Whassup??..

don't forget to send me invitation.. get married soon:P ..laughs..
hey.. isn't it a bit too early to take the plunge;)?..

Bulbul Gopalani said...

One question... why does any post even need a title?

Phoenix said...

lolz

all th people i know who have joined itc this season, have only been becoming weirder than before :P

u actually stole a coin from a beggar..shame on itc yar

and yeah, enjoy laloo ki sawari, 'sir'.

Di said...

have a link from my blog to urs...hope u dont mind...nice writing.. :-)

Suds said...

Sahi post tha boss. :) Maaja aa gaya... Sleepwalking to check out station.. that was great..

take care man...

Main Aur Meri Tanhaai said...

You are a legend,dude. You shud charge people to read your posts. Keep it coming!!!

Harsha said...

Awesome post dude. You rock!!! Your blog was recommened to me by Dharmu.

Tell me why the name Hitlers soul....you're so damn funny, it must be chaplin's soul :)

Abhishek Upadhyay said...

Mujhe 'export-import'wale ka number de
Jaldi...I have just lost my job,want to venture in new 'business'.:D

nobody said...

oh lol lol lol!! tussi bade funny ho ji :))

UniQue said...

Abhinav ,
Pls yaar give no. of that import export wala,inspite of good hefty pay,i m runnig short of cash coz of my own personal wife's parlour expense.
Pickpocketing bhi kiya,usse bhi nahi hua to chori chakari ki,par ab need to think for some M & A with some export & import walla..
Buddy u rule our heart and owe our life..Sacchi..
Thoda gyaan humein bhi dedo...

Shreyansh said...

//.....room and straightaway sleepwalked to the window to see which station it was ///

Mast tha ye to bhai!!

Par ab company walon se bolo ki plane tickets ka intezaam karein tumhare liye... :)

preeti said...

readin after long time.........tussi kamaal karte ho.....just damn good.. always feel good at mind after readin ur posts and refer to many frens .. they r thanking me :)

dharmu said...

jeeeeeez, what is keral doing to you?
one mre question, does the prezi get to screen the potential dulhans? the fan club is always ready.

we might find you the most insane dulhan the world ever saw...

wat say munnu?

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Abe, Hawaai-jahaaj chhodke ab train?? :O How can you descend to such levels, man?? :))

Waise shaadi mein hume bula raha hai na?? :D

arpz said...

1. microcomputer -Steve Jobbs introduced it there I guess ..
2.Credit Card - guessing this one !
3.Advertisements??? ( not sure)

bas , baad ke do nahin maaloom ! :D

AJITH said...

So, finally u moved out of kerala ? And all the best for bride-hunting :)

Anonymous said...

Great stuff that you have going here. Just started following your blog since the past 2 months & have been through some of your earlier posts as well, if not all.

You certainly do make people laugh & lift up their moods which i think is a great and humbling achievement.

All the best for everything.

N~

cardamom said...

oye hitler ki aatma,beraham naazi,
tum khaao idli mai paao bhaaji,
kaale hokar aaoge koi nahee karega shaadi,
ITC chhodo ab karo penguin ki barbaadi,
book chapwaa do,mere cafe jaane ke paise bach jaayenge,
aur kuchh nahee to blogspot waale road par aa jaayenge,

yaar uss din to mazaa aa jaaye jab hitler ki photo mere comment page par chipak jaaye.agar abhi tak gabbar ne tumhaare haath nahee kaate hai to karo click aur thodee humaaree bhi kahaani padh lo uddhaar ho jaayega...
raam(garh) raam(garh) he he

ketki said...

good post!
but u write so less these days!

sunshine said...

khud hi rakh le? dude, i hope u weren't referring to the diamonds in ur pocket !!!

sedna is my home :) said...

:) very sweet .....i always look forward to ur posts :D

Anonymous said...

great one!!
I cud have got married to u for ur sense of humour but umr mein chhotey ho ;)

Anonymous said...

great one!!
I cud have married u for ur sense of humour but umr mein chhotey ho ;)

Don said...

Hi, I was just passing by and came across your blog.

I see you've put a fair bit of effort into it. My own blog covers the subject of Color Contact lenses.

Drop by sometime.

Regards,

Don

Anonymous said...

hey abhinav

awesome post as always :D

sorry for the longish comment but try to read all of it :D

idont know if u have paid any heed to my suggestion of writing a book...
maybe 1 abt the time spent in ur iimc

another could be a colelction of ur posts from this blog...believe me it will sell....going by the no. of comments on ur posts it will easily sell 100s ...if not 1000s of copies

on a difft note..about the 'sir' problem

1 work in an it firm...so i can afford to call my boss'boss'boss who is a VP of the co. & has been with it for 15 years by his 1st name....& he prefers it that way

but folks who are slightly lower down the org. hierarchy..say clerks, sometimes call us sir...& they are like 45-50+
I felt really abd...so 1 day i told...plz dont call me sir...if at all, i shud be the 1 calling u sir

it dosent help that here in blr...i suspect 'sir' is kind of a standard way to address all people..even peers...so the conductor in a bmtc bus address a passengers as *sir*

will stop here...

KEEP UP THE GR8 WORK & THINK ABOUT THE BOOK IDEA

cheers
ashish

p.s. i dont work for a publisher :D

ns said...

Jaane kitne dinon ke baad gali mein aaj chaand nikla!!
ithne din kahan the maamu jaan?

I just read enough fuel for my entire week ahead!!


tumhaare jahannum vaale 'fully furnished apartment' mein internet connection rahegana, blog likhne ke liye!!

Life Lover said...

"I have done enough wrong to justify a fully furnished apartment in jahannum." Loved that one! First time to your blog, am just looking around :)

jeet said...

I always say, "I am gonna go look for food"

Anonymous said...

Watiti.com
Join me and my circle of friends at http://www.watiti.com, an online social networking community that connects people from all over the world.

Meet new people, share photos, create or attend events, post free classifieds, send free e-cards, listen music, read blogs, upload videos, be part of a club, chat rooms, forum and much more!

See you around! Bring all your friends too!

Watiti.com

Anonymous said...

Hey great blog! Keep up the good work!

Sarah
http://paulwilliamsconnection.org

Anonymous said...

think dating sites had it pretty tough during the crunch



---------------
filipino girls

Anonymous said...

Hello

EverythingGLOBE.com is a website offering free local classifieds, advertisements and online classifieds to all over countries in the GLOBE.
EverythingGLOBE.com has separate sections for all countries and major cities with Autos, Computers, Electronics, Furniture, Jobs, Mobile Phones, Properties and Others.
EverythingGLOBE.com has an advanced content management system to place and search ads through the friendly interface. Your advert will be active within few seconds.

Visit http://www.EverythingGLOBE.com for more details
Best regards

Anonymous said...

Hey

Ipad Reviews, Articles, Video Demonstrations and Where to buy all the
latest accessories for the Ipad.
Best regards
http://www.HowIpadWorks.com