Friday, November 24, 2006

Have to leave the cyber cafe . No time for title.

The frequency of me spewing my venomous thoughts on this blog has gone down with the speed of a female cheetah being chased by a very excited and clearly , not well intentioned , Gulshan Grover. I wish I could say things like "Oh , I was busy . You know how these multi million business deals eat up the time , don't you ?" or "Come on , I was so occupied watching movies and coochie - cooing with my girlfriend , who incidentally , looks like someone from hollywood and has a dad who looks like a millionaire and has a brother who looks like a victim of malnourishment. " But as luck ( Luck . I thank nature for teaching me this word . It's so nice to blame luck for everything . So now you know whom to blame for getting you to such a disgusting blog ) would have it , I was busy with things which are significantly less glamourous. And then of course , a series of developments culminated in my company taking away my internet enabled laptop . Let's avoid the details here , but the series of developments was composed of events which made my company realise that internet in the hands of a 25 year old guy is not such a good idea after all .

And I have been travelling a lot . And it's not the poverty stricken train travel where I spend time looking out of the window and hoping the driver brakes so hard that the girl sitting three seats behind me flies through the air and falls in my muscular arms . It was the glamorous , perfumed and 'Oh-so-IIM-ish' air travel where I spent time looking out of the window and hoping the forty seven guy sitting next to me is not gay , and even if he is , he finds me as attractive as a Mulayam Singh Yadav in a sleeveless night gown.

Infact my 'Reebok'* ( See Note ) travel bag looks like it's been beaten up by Sanjay Dutt and Suneil Shetty combined . It's bandaged with tags and stickers from all the airlines flying around in India . As a friend told me yesterday , such information makes me look a 'show off' as big as the leaning tower of Pisa . But mere bhai , ab jab sacchi mein aellopilane mein travel kiya to kya kahun , kee 1984 made rickshaw mein ghoom raha hoon ?

Note- I thought it was original Reebok till some ten days back . Then I had to carry the red coloured bag through pouring rain . Now I have a bag which is red coloured , and has passed on its redness to three shirts , one pair of trousers and numerous items belonging to the unmentionable category . (You know , the one with the little , chote-chote kapde ).

And as someone brought to my notice recently , some guy has copied stuff from this blog and posted it on his own blog as his own . First of all , I thank the guy / gal who brought this to my notice . ( Uee ma , not that the person does not have a defined sexuality , but the person just left a comment on the last post , and it is kinda hard to guess sex looking at the font size and type ) . Also , I am impressed with how people are able to identify and zoom down on such things on the internet . Ask me , I have been searching for some pictures of some well known and well endowed female over the last fifteen minutes .Have managed to find pictures as exciting as the software engineering textbook I had in college .

But coming to the issue of people copying stuff from this blog , I am confused . I mean , why would I run out in the garden and pick up an ugly dead squirrel , run back in , and keep it in my refridgerator ? ( Waise some very hungry and sadist type of guys can even do this , but let's not get into my past activities )

But seriously , arre bhai , copy karne ke liye we have a zillion guys , from Shakespeare to Munshi Premchand . Copying stuff from this blog is like stealing '101 fresh and exciting ways to get healthy hair' written by Anupam Kher . ( For those angrezi type bhai log who don't know who anupam kher is , he is bald . That's all you need to know , bloody leftovers from 1947 ). So in a nutshell , I would have never copied stuff as mundane as this , so don't know why anyone would . But karna hai to karlo bhai , I don't write anything anyways . I carry myself to little shady cybercafes , balance myself on rickety cheap chairs , and I just talk . So what you see here is just me talking , like I would to anyone unfortunate enough to be around me in the physical world .

That reminds me . At a distance of two feet from me in the physical world , there is a friend of mine who can get very physical with me ( and in the dangerous sense of the term ) if I don't leave now . So till next time , chill maaro , and kuch copy karna hai to kar lo , but seriously , copy this crap ?

189 comments:

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh.

Thanks.

Pranesh Srinivasan said...

hm.. looks like i am the first to comment. not a surprise with the decreasing frequency of posts.... a good one as usual, maybe the humour is slightly slapstick. hm.. what do all of us here have against slapstick humour? and what does the owner have against u?????

Ginni said...

Damn funny..
well how did d squirrel taste like?? [:D] Roasted it well nah..

cardamom said...

hehehe Copy kyaa poori kitaab kar lo...aakhir jinke haatho me at least 2 ungliyaa hai wo left click kar sakte hai aur..phir kaam aasaan hai...
and you know what when i travel back to my colg after the vacations from home..my travel bag looks like both suniel shetty and sanjay duut are huddled up inside...thanx to my mum...
frequently likha karo yaar...mast tha as usual..

sopeti said...

good; though the comparisons have become as common as pits in indian roads :-)

shweta said...

uhhhmmm ...do i really need to say nething ...u speak ur mind dear ...dont worry wats on store ..!!tc
shwets

ns said...

gold.. silver.. bronze.. uske baad kaun kaun se type aate hain bhai..
probably I will get a rusted iron medal for sixth position. My best ever.

The 41 year old co-passenger might have fell in love with you, if he had come to know that you are the mydayswithmyself blogger.

Your writing will bring smiles even on Dravid out for duck

ns said...

10-15 beer peene ke baad agar aadmi oolti karega tho beer bahar ayegana...
llly person who reads your blogs continuously, if blogs copy tho karega heena..
Dekho mein comment mein bhi aapka style copy kar raha hoon

ram ram!!

Anonymous said...

hmmm pretty sarcastic post..:-(

'jo said...

chalo...thoda late ho gaya but for 10th comment not ad...boss....
mmmm...so you finally came up with something...now thats interesting....

Zee said...

yipieeeeee!!!! new blog!!!!

A lot of ur readers are going to be sending nasty letters to ur company for taking away ur internet if that's what's stopping u from blogging often enough!

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Koi baat nahi... tum jitne baar plane mein jaate ho, ek ek karke seat ke towel, free ke chocolates wagaira ikattha kar lena: 2-3 mahino mein sab bechke ek lappy ho jayega :)

rt said...

even though its just to say that u r victimized and somebody has plagiarised ur work thank God U at least wrote..
Kindly send us the contact of HR person of ur comapny or ur manager so that we can request them to give u back ur net enabled lap top..
better stil make them read ur blog..than they wil realise their crime how much they are making us starved of ur wonderfully amusing posts..they mite end up paying u just for writing :)

whoelsebutme said...

wow finally another post...yipeeee.

your secret admirer ;) heh said...

Aaaaand he is back! :D

Just hope he is not fakin his own old self this time, but saw a glimpse of the "real" Abhi after such a long time! :D other wise ugly dead squirrels ki hi jaise entries milti thi read karne ko- Clearly showin a lack of inspiration in mallu land...some even got us thinking prolly he is jsut tryna adjust to the new place...no no he looks as though he is weally pre-occupied these days,.. no no no gurl problems maybe! etc and etc.

looool@ (You know , the one with the little , chote-chote kapde ).
:D

useless said...

hah..a fresh post aftr some time now...had beeen waitin for it desperately..checkin ur blog..even more frequently than my orkut account or mailbox...
aur lagta hai boss ne computer cheen liya...!!!
koi baat nahi..cyber cafe zindabaad...

Bharat Jhurani said...

hw can i copy u?? u r so poular in this ckt...

Abhi said...

@anon - oh jee yeh thanks shanks mat kaha karo.dena hai to cash de do.

@pranesh - upar dekh bhai , frust nahi hai tu.and I am not exactly aware of the humour categories , so cant really provide an intelligent reply . ( as if I do that to other comments )

@ginni - meetha thoda kam tha yar.looks like the silly squirrel dint like sugar.

@cardamom - arre bhai main ghar jaata hoon so aisa lagta hai kee poori west indies ki team bag mein hai with family.yeh moms sab similar hoteein hain :)

@sopeti - good ? :) yaar aap school teacher to nahi ho ?

@shweta - abbe tu bhee dhyan rakh .dekh tere peeche seeng wali cow aa rahee hain :p

@ns - bhai if that co passenger would have found out I write this blog , wahin compartment mein game over kar deta mera.kaafi death threats milte hain iss blog kee wajah se.

@anon - hmmmm :(.tension mat le , there are better people in this world.

@jo - aapki foto mein aap office mein ho , fir bhee frog-in-rain jaise khush ho ! office mein main to kabhi khush nahi hua , aapki safalta ka raaz ?

@zee cinema - They are already receiving guldastas and mithai ka dabbas for doing that.

@suds - hai allah , tujhe bhee pata hai meri strategy ? poora mba mind hai tera.

@rt - thats a neat idea.waise bhee my boss keeps saying "abhinav , I dont know what I am paying you for".

@whoelsebutme - oye bada khush hai mera dost :).o bhangra paale paale..

@secret admirer - hatto jee , aapne poori mahabharat mein wahi wala phrase notice kiya.badde notty ho :p

@useless - haan bhai , cyber cafe walo ke bacche naye kapde khareed rahe hai mere paise se .

@bharat - poular to main hoon.abhi dictionary mein dekhta hoon iska meaning :)

Anonymous said...

ur homor has become very predictable....dude, develop some creativity or stop this crap.

trash_u said...

"...mulayam singh yadav in night gown."

~~ me terrified petrified by the mere thought of having a glimpse of tht sight..!!

whoelsebutme said...

by the way i read that somewhere that 'imitation is the best foirm of flattery' so u ought to be flattered to bits!:D

its me said...

aaaaaaa... someone's replying to the comments also ;)
good to see you back :)

mdev123 said...

kyon Abhi bhai thoda samay nikal liya karo yaar.. we know you are busy with multi million meetings..product launch ..etc...
thoda duniya ka bhi dhyan rakho bhai...itane late post aayenge to lagta hai kisi dusare site par jana padega.. nice post

Anonymous said...

yaar abhi,

duniya bhar ki blog-search maar li, par ye sensibly senseless type ka blog masterpiece hai :-) waise apun ye comment nai likhta par kuch intellectual tatv aapke humor ko predictable batla rahe the to mujhse rha nai gya. socha unko aur aapko ye news de dun ki NATURAL HEALING INSTITUTE mein aapke blog dvara patients ke depression ka safal ilaaj ho rha hai.

Lage Raho Abhibhai :-)

Abhi said...

@anon - abbe coke ke pesticide , bada order de raha hai tu.tu paise deta hai mujhe tujhe entertain karne ke ?

@trash u - imagine what mulayam's wife has to go through .

@whoelsebutme - i guess i am unmoved by flattery or criticism now.sheesh , isnt that a totally celebrity-ish statement to make ?

@its me - Yeah ? most people leave the city i am in.

@mdev - yar life mein kisi bhee cheez ko itna seriously nai leta main.and that includes this blog.so agla post kab ayega ..ram jaane.

@anon - arre chill bhai.aise intellectual fountains bade saare hain iss world mein.main stupidity ka puddle hee mast hoon.

AK-23 said...

"but seriously , copy this crap ?"

I guess u know it pretty well too..why "copy".

For some , imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Your posts don't pretend to give any Brahma- gyaan, or keys to the mystery of life, or promise to solve the miseries of some distant famine-stricken land.
You scribble about life as u see it...
and spontaneoulsy so..most of the times.
This makes them refreshingly original.

The analogies u use and the imagery u draw with words is enough to make even the chronically peevish smile..

There will be disdainful critics..always..
What I don't understand is if they don't they like what u write.. why do they keep visiting ur space?

Keep scribbling (which I know u'll anyways)

Pr:Dtam said...

Have been reading ur blog for quite some time now..good to see tht ur nt hit by some critics out here..,infact when I strtd reading ur blog couple o months bak, i neva thot u wud write serious posts., but then somehow i feel ur being more transparent these dayz..is tht true? coz when u strtd bloggin ur post were simple n straight and then the element o humour increased which kept the momentum going for quite a long time..and now ur writing style has got mixed emotions which is good..reason may be diff phases o life, but jus wantd to know if ur really tryin to change anything?...if i sound crap, forget this ;)

arpana said...

:p

Life Lover said...

clap clap :D read this on a maha boring afternoon in my even more boring cube aur LOL :) keep writing!

Ajith said...

Good going.. So u finally moved out of Kerala ? Or still there searching some beauty ?

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Suds said...

Are app to sahi tarakki pe ho yaar... Kuch din pehle train aur ab plane.. sahi hai iske baad kya bhai.. :)

Enjoy keep writing... Screw the copy cat idiots. :)

ashish said...

your blog is really good...and worth copying too..lage raho!

Surya Ragunaathan said...

arre yaar, mujhe iss mahaan hasti ke copying talents dekhne the, par abhi uss link pe 'page not found' aa raha hai...shayad usne delete kar diya hai...dekh tune bachhe ko kitna daraa diya...

kutus said...

Hi Abhinav,
As usual this post is a very good read. Actually it is true for most of your posts. So consider this comment tagged with those earlier posts of yours and forgive my laziness.
All my best wishes for such a wonderful soul (I mean you, got it na?)

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dharmu said...

dear itc big people,

can you please give munnu a laptop. can you please give it with a net connection. can you please not make him travel much. can you please give him a few more vacations.

thank you.

coz, i have read his entire blog so many times that i can rant it in my sleep. reason-i have to read his blog during my lunch time. it helps in digestion.

abe, munnu kuch karna. i am bored, tired and fed-up reading all your old posts.

Bruce Almighty said...

munnu jee , gajab lekhan karya kiye rahe...

itna kaam naa karo.. kaahe YCD ke pet pe laat maar rahe ho... tanik relax karo .... lekhan karya aur karo..

OrganizedChaos said...

you are awesome yaar ... thanks for the smile on my face

Di said...

hmmm...real long time no c...itneeee busy ho aap?!nice post tha waise :)If i mix up hindi and english anymore main dono bhool jaaongi.. keep writing

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O Abhi Bhaiya kidhar ko chale gaye...?? No new post :-( I can only think of one song from No Entry 'Kaha Ho Tum, Kaha Ho Tum'...

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Now thats bad! I just hope ur freq od posts won't wane down!

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vinu said...

Good one! :) as usual!
and reg the 'crap' u mentioned in the last, is not 'crap' but a 'wrap' of bundles of creativity with laughter sprinkled!
keep posting regularly abhi!

divya said...

oye where have u gone now... ooty,pune,patna?? and i hope u`ve forgotten bout the whole pizza spitting episode!! hehe

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c'mon Abhi!!! wake up!! put something new on the BLOG!! me waiting...!!!

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