Saturday, February 17, 2007

Of wedding plans and head banging music

This little girl was in the train I took last week ( Haan Haan IIM ke ladke train mein bhee ghoomte hain . Gareeb hoon main.). Due to some reason , she kept looking at my face and laughing at pretty regular intervals . Abb bacche bhee mera mazzak udaane lage .

Last week , as I sat at my desk , tapping away on the keyboard and trying to look as involved as if I was three keystrokes away from finding the cure to Limfusarcoma of the intestine , a colleague walked by.

Noticing me , he exclaimed in a rather cheerful tone generally reserved for pretty secretaries..

"Hey Abhi , I hear you are getting married !"

Now as people with inadequate exposure to this blog would have noticed , I am a very shy boy , steeped in tradition and "samaajik maryada". Hence I merely let out a coy smile , lowered my eyes till my eyelashes brushed the keyboard and nodded a delicate yes .
At this point of time , I was expecting a little congratulatory pat or something . But the colleague shook his pumpkin head sideways , murmured a "Yakeen nahi hota" and walked on.

Now , people would believe it if I said I ordered a tomato soup last night and found Himesh's cap floating in it , but nobody has been ready to believe the fact that I am getting married . My underdeveloped brain , which has helped me flunk many maths exams , offers possible reasons:

1.I look too young to be a married man . I just ambled past 25 , and to make things rosier , I have been told by perfectly sane people that I still retain a bit of the boyish charm which deserts a normal indian male in the early twenties . Some have mentioned that I am a male version of the santoor girl , who captured our imaginations with "meri twacha se meri umra ka pata nahi chalta".

2. The second , and a very real reason , is this .It defies all common sense and laws of intellect that some girl has actually agreed to marry a guy like me. Deviod of any "dude"-ish qualities , and as boring as a wooden chair , sometimes even I find it hard to digest that I got someone to say a yes. But then , to err is human , and she has erred big time.

My canine instincts warn me a lot of readers would like to raise their left eyebrows , smile a slanted smile and pose the "Who is She" question to me now . But I would like to refer to the second paragraph where I mentioned me being immersed in the bucket of "saamajik maryada" and hence would like to save the story for a later date. All I can say is , that to know the person with whom I am going to grow old , to know the person who is gonna be a witness to my life , to know the person who forms one of the reasons for my existence now , is humbling and satisfying and pleasing in a very calm and fulfilling way.And pampered she will be .
Infact , if you have a memory which is anything better than simply unbelievably pathetic , you will recall that at the top of this post , there is a picture of a little girl who giggled at me all through out a train journey as if I was wearing a red nose and singing Baa Baa Black Sheep . So during the journey , a 'hi-society-well-dressed-confident' types old lady with a head full of white hair and numerous questions was sitting besides me . She had noticed me boarding the train with a lot of luggage ( A travel bag , a backpack , and a cardboard carton carrying the V day gifts I had bought for the lady who is going to tolerate me in this life ) .So some fifteen minutes into the journey , the old woman asks me ..
Old woman : lot of luggage..eh ?
Me : Uh..yeah..a lot of stuff stolen from the hotels..he he..
Old woman : Really ?
Me : gasp..oh no..I was trying to be a little amusing..never mind
Old woman : What's in that cardboard box ?
Me : Oh that ? Well..actually it contains all the gifts I bought for my fiancee..
Old woman : I see..that's sweet..
Me : Blush . Blush .
Old woman : So , you are going to buy her things next valentines day too ?
Me ( proud as a soldier ): Of course ! I am quite a handful when it comes to out-of-the-box surprises for the people I love !
Old woman : Trust me , son . Next V day , you wont do it .
Me ( with a simmering rage in my eyes ) : Oh no maam , I wont change !
Old woman : No . Its not about you . Next V day , after an year of taking her out for shopping and eating out and movies , you wont have any money with you to buy all this.
It was then when I realised that she was in the process of doing great damage to the confidence of a dreamy to-be-married young guy. I did not encourage any conversation with her for the rest of the journey and quietly watched that little girl in the picture laugh at me.

Moving on to other issues ailing the society , I have been as busy as mother of nine lately . I keep my cell in the bathroom when I take the shower , I exchange around 35 official mails everyday and after office , I tune the telly to MTV and work on office stuff well after midnight .Sometimes , I wish I was back to college , when I had the time to watch three movies in a day (Sometimes four.Dont tell mommy), the time to sleep till my tummy growled for lunch , the time to reply to all the comments you leave on this blog.

And as a direct result of watching MTV after office , I am particularly concerned by the behaviour of Asha Bhonsle . I mean , problem kya hai inn aunty ko ? It seems like she is on a spree of making music videos with anyone who is free after lunch and can sing slightly better than a monkey with a penguin stuck in his throat . If her videos with Sunjay Dutt and Brett Lee made me feel like banging my head on the nearest wall just once , her latest video with Urmila Taang-tod-kar makes me feel like banging my head on the nearest wall till I lose all memory of the video , Asha Bhonsle , Urmila and the entire production unit of any movie with Urmila in it . Now Asha Ji is coming up with a video of something she did with Robbie Williams ( I mean a music video , you sicko ) , and watching Asha butt in on Rock DJ is going to leave me with suicidal tendencies , I am afraid.
But one song I got playing all day is "Sun re Sajaniya" by a pakistani guy called Ali Zafar . A light , peppy song , it leaves me feeling like "Yeah.life is good.in spite of Asha Bhonsle , that old woman in the train , and kids who laugh at me."

This reminds me , if someone out there can mail me INXS's Afterglow with a scaringly big eyed Indian singer called Sona in it , I would be grateful and would promptly courier him/her a copy of Asha Bhonsle's album as a mark of gratitude. Also , I need "You are beautiful" by James Blunt and "bad day" by daniel powter . In fact any good music is always welcome .So there. No , seriously , send me the songs at abhinavj8008@gmail.com if you can , I wont send you anything as dangerous as the Asha thing.

Anyway , now that it is out there in the open under the blue sky , I believe you guys will have stories of more challenge and pain to hear . The adventures of a guy with limited social ettiquettes , rudimentary dance moves , and a whacky attitude when faced with the giant called the Great North Indian Wedding and the seven ( or were they eight ?) ceremonies before it , sure sounds as full as a Yash Chopra movie .
In fact , the first symptoms have already started to show , with me gradually limiting my presence on orkut ( Note - I just found Yaari.com , which has been started by a friend . Much neater .) , learning to use a spoon and fork and planning to brush up my dance moves . And no , I dont want "afterglow" for that reason .

Oops , I got to jump off this bed urgently , leap across the table and bang my head on the wall opposite me now . MTV is again playing the Asha Bhonsle - Urmila thing .
Be good . Work hard . And believe me when I say I am getting married .

49 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi abhinav,
congratulations on ur upcoming nuptials.
wishing u best.
ur blog has been entertaining. :)
hope u will be permitted to continue. :D
-dharna.

Abhi said...

Hi Dharna ,
I hope so.It isnt exactly an illegal thing I am doing here.:)
Abhi

Ginni said...

ohhhh man... congrats...
so u plan to have all that dhoom-dhadaka type north indian shaadi. [:P]
& U will hv to dance in ur marriage.. tc.. & best of luck..

Anonymous said...

Hey Abhinav (Well this is the first time i gotto know your name),
I have been reading your blogs every single time, but off late havent been able to find enough time.. thanks to the IT industry and the cruel boss who has just dumped a whole lot of shitty work on me and ofcourse to the company where i work which had blocked the Blog sites .... but anyways .. Heartiest Congratulations for the wonderful begining you are gonna have soon with your life partner .. wishing you a happy married life .. well in advance .. and hey never mind the old aunty who pakaoed u during the travel .. i am sure u can stand out (unlike other guys like us) and buy atleast a rose next V-Day :)) ... by thew way .. u talk of yash raj movies ?? I feel u already have a Sooraj Barjatya VIVAH going on in your life :)) ..anyways .. heartiest congratulations once again .. and hope u still find time to write on your blog even after u have been bound by the wonderful nuptial bond.
Lotssa wishes,
Vishal
(I still cant believe i am the second one to reply to your post)

justme said...

Hey Abhinav...Congragulations. Wish you a happy married life! Can almost hear that song in your voice as you sign off your blog :) Post-shaadi, don't dare rob us of a good dose of clean humor through your blog. Keep posting when the high-command oopss biwi permits u to!

Anonymous said...

damn my midsems..6th person to leave a comment this time..(las time first tha in case u dinn notice :) )

neway..nice post as usual..and congrats for yr wedding

anshuman
anshuman.iit@gmail.com

Goli said...

Hey dude, I have been reading your blog for quite some time now...interesting... congrats on getting married.

"bad day" keeps playing on Radio Indigo... I absolutely love this FM channel... beautiful music all throughtout the day..
But sadly i dont have mp3. try limewire.

Acroyali said...

congratulations :).

a teacher at school would've sung queen now-
"another one bites the dust"

:)

Dreamcatcher said...

Congratulations :)
So what if you become broke next year? I'm sure your sense of humor will be gift enough the whole year through :P

Anonymous said...

congrats :)
what if other don't believe it?
U believe it right?
or u'll have to wait until it's finally over :P

Bharat Jhurani said...

Congratulations!!
I'm sure the blog wld still remain as humorous as it is.. or even more better!!!

rt said...

Congratulations!!!
pampering am not sure... but she will be definitely entertained!!
hoping ur blog will continue as same!!!

RG said...

kafi boring post thi yar yeh...:-(

ken said...

Congrats on your upcoming marriage !!

yossarian said...

chalo ab tum bhi ghar-grahasti walle ho gaye..ek photo laga do apni sabzi ke bags ke saath..visualise karne mein thodi fight ho rahi hai [:P]


Congrats btw.. great news :)

akshara said...

Dear Abhi
If You get amrried, mera kya hoga?? So keep blogging

T said...

Congrats Abhi...
sending you James Blunt's song u wanted..
'T'

Ye manzilen !! said...

That is awesome!
Congratulations man!

Guess what you will have to change the name of your blog as well. It is not gonna be " my dayz with myself" anymore buddy!!
Peace....

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Mubarak ho sir... abhi mast waale post likhte rehna... computer tak ka rasta aseem ho chahe abhi saamne hi rahe! :)

Expressions said...

All the Very Best in Life to Both of You...
God Bless..

Somya said...

Congratulations!!! So you are actually getting married(hard to believe). Interesting but then my dad told me long back when I told him that getting married was my ambition(that was at the age of 5) that getting married is not a big deal even richshawpullers get married. Oops I am not trying to make fun of u rather I would like to add that you are quite a catch and the girl is really lucky coz if nothing else I am sure her life is going to be full of laughter tracks.

Fried Ice-cream said...

Hi Dude,

I am very new to this community of blogging(started day before yesterday) and the first blog that i got to read was urs(I happened to search for IIM and got urs). Truely speaking you have raised the standards of my perception of blogs and this makes me difficult to read or appreciate other blogs...Maa kasam jhoot nahin bol raha hoon.

Congo for getting married..Hope marriage doesnt become a barrier to your so good blogs. Sahi hai launde.

Soumya said...

That is goood news... Congratulations!!!! and have a Greattttttttt life ahead!!

Rose said...

Hey Santoor Man..

Hope u never change no matter how many Vdays cum and go..

:))))

..Me

Anonymous said...

U r getting married...??

Nahiiiiiiiiiii

Anonymous said...

hi..
congrats on ur impending marriage..and wish u will keep spreading smiles wherever you go :)

Anonymous said...

i have been very regular reader of ur blog .ur writing rocks!.happy that u r getting married.congratulations.all i can say is she is the lucky person .all the best for both ur writing and wedding life.

Anonymous said...

Hey.. Aren't you too young to get married? Enjoy bachelorhood man. just passed out of college and you are getting married. get a life.. :P

Anonymous said...

munnubahi,
getting married!!! gr8!!!!
wish u a very very very happy married life. pls keep blogging even after marriage. and thanks for the nice post
--------------deepako-------------

shweta said...

i had thot of not writting but vocally xpressing...but then after reading the hilarious "anonymous comments"...i jst cldnt help laughing ...ur blog ws cool nd yup gud luk,conratulations ...nd blah blah blah ....i mean all the social blessings wrapped to u..but isnt tht so true tht aunty ws so write ...ab c'mon..once in a while aunty ki baat maan leni chahiye instead of giving the usual nerdish luk ...hihi..nd yup jst one "silent" prayer for u..."hope god wraps all hapiness for u and all luck nd everything gud"...u rock as a frnd ...i noe tht..nd i jst hope u will rock as hard nd more than tht in d nupital bond...
acha yeh sab ko chod ke ...seriously anonymous comments itne hillarious the ..especialy the nahiiiiii wallah...jst laughed like hell on tht ..!!
chal tke care ..nd hve a blast...
shwets

Anonymous said...

congrats

u can download songs from
www.seekasong.com
for free

congrats again
Utham

Suma Udupa said...

Hi,

I was reading ur blogs. The humor touch u have given to the blogs is very interesting. I am laughing at ur similes... :)

Anshul Agrawal said...

Hey Abhinav,
Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials !!!
wishing you all the best for your life...
Hope that u will continue writing blogs... :)

Archana Mittal said...

Congrats Abhi!

You are too young to admire Asha aunty, I guess...of course, my guess could be wrong. With time, you can only appreciate the timelessness of such people...:-)

Rinku said...

hey hello...this ain't an ordinary train dear...so no garibi ka bahana ok...SO don't forget to invite allthose populating your blog visits on your reception...mind you RECEPTION...not the shaadi which would be at the cost of the ladkiwalas.

all the best for all life to come.

jeet said...

sada suhagan raho
duto nahao..phuto phalo

or something like that...

US said...

oyyeee Obs call kar mujhe, bahut urgent hai. 9433187019 pe

``warna staircase mein.....

Sachin said...

Hi Abhinav,
I've been a regular reader on this blog. Congrats...

heartbroken.. said...

u r getiin married!!!!!!!! :((((((((((((( shockd n heart broken..more cruel than abhiash :((( God bless u guyz..sob sob

Anonymous said...

hey ... abhinav... congrats and man. and welcome to the group.. :)
first it was anuj then me Hoshang and now u .. sahi hai bhai..

Anonymous said...

Does the gal know abt ur ex-gf btw??

samforyou said...

Hey Abhinav,
Heartiest congratulations for the wedding and dude aren't u happy that ur maggi days are over. atleast someone now to say " uff, chodiye na , log dekh rahe hain .." All the best buddy and keep writing the grt stuff....
Love
Sam

WizCoder said...

congratulations http://www.weddingplanlist.com

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Ada said...

i'm sorry to realise abt the wedding tht ddnt heppen, she's one unlucky girl. Not tht my sypathising with u or abusing her wud mk a diff to ur lives as a diff was made to Sardar MMS's life on June 22 (or was it 23) wen he won the vote of confidence. but m dear nameless, faceless fellow blogger, i'm sorry. koi na, there r more fish in the sea.

Regards,
Your Blogs' Fan

Ada said...

P.S.: Another sorry for the spelling mistakes in the above comment, ab raat ko 2 baje 1 insomiac shakespere to nahi banegi, right?

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