Thursday, February 01, 2007

First Abhishek , now me

A wall painting of MohanLaal in Kottayam which growled "Meri foto mat kheench"
So finally , I decide to switch off the telly and spend some time tapping down on the blog . Star movies is anyways playing ‘The Waterboy' , and I have watched the movie thrice already , so I watch it again , and I can tell you the names of all the extras which worked in it . Also , now that I have a laptop with internet access with me all the time , I think it’s the cry of the hour to pull this blog out of the elite “guy-got-internet-still-no-post-for-23-days” blog club . Coming back to the sleepy little life of mine , over the last two months work took me on a traveling spree which has reportedly doubled the revenues of Kingfisher Airlines . Air hostesses recognize me and some of them give me the disgruntled “Aap ? Fir se ?” look when I amble into a plane these days . It is also heard that to honour me for this contribution , these guys are planning to name one of the aeroplane toilets after me ( Shri Abhinav memorial Hawai Shauchalaya .Pisses me off. ) . Anyway ,after zippings bags , unzipping bags , stealing hotel towels and shaving kits through Bangalore , Ooty , Bombay and Calcutta , I find myself back in the land of semi naked white tourists and moustached film heroes – Kerala.

It was almost seven months ago that I first landed in Kerala to start my first job . As you might have known if you watch TV (I am told I feature pretty regularly on Animal Planet ) , I grew up in Delhi and Haryana , so it was like a Rocket Launcher had been shoved in the bony hands of Mahatma Gandhi . However, since then a lot of water and sewage has flown under the bridge.( For hamare Hindustani Bhai who are wondering “yeh bridge kahan hai bhai?” , English mein figure of speech hain ). I have learnt to iron shirts , cook maggi and my malayalam vocabulary has grown to a healthy four words now ( One of them is an abusive word . Self defence ke liye collection mein rakha hain ) . So things are not so bad now , I can actually hold a conversation with a mallu for a minimum of seven seconds using my highly developed sign language skills and leg movements .

But it is only two more months in Kerala for me now , so I better soak in all the beauty this place has to offer before I get posted to some city which is as pretty as L K Advani’s legs . As a part of the same “Kerala-dekh-lo-bhai” philosophy , I also went to some backwaters a couple of weeks back .

I hired a wooden canoe type boat which looked like it was ten minutes away from doing a titanic and set out in the waters with a skinny mallu oarsman who seemed to ooze the ‘no fear’ school of thought . To make things more interesting , it was soon noticed that his knowledge of Hindi or English was as developed as a gorilla’s knowledge of the vedas . Effectively , what it meant for me was that even if I was down in the water till my ears , throwing my hands like a penguin on fire and shouting “Bachao” , he would not understand what I was screaming and just stand there wondering what this gibberish speaking north Indian guy is fussing about .

Mar jaawa Khatta kha ke , I just remembered I need to submit a report at work tomorrow . Considering that the guy I need to submit this report is as not exactly a believer in the power of forgiveness , I better end this and start that now . I know this post is ending as soon as it started , and I have done the proverbial "Bachpan mein hee gala ghot diya" to this post , but then , work is worship .

Oh , and before I go . I want to say this , I think this blog which has seen me on my journey from a lazy and casual student at an engineering college to a lazier and casual-er ( angrezi mein problem hain yar ) manager at a big marketing company deserves to be a party to one of the biggest and prettiest things that has happened to me . But my lips are sealed , my fingers are tied , and all I can say is what the title to this post says – Sorry ladies , first Abhishek , now me . And for me , she is way better than Aishwarya .

84 comments:

Anonymous said...

yippee.. i am da first

anshuman

Anonymous said...

ok now dat da race for da first comment has been won .. :) let me pen down a few lines regarding yr post

congrats for finding yr aishwariya :)

yr post as usual is hilarious .. hope u post more often

anshuman

mini'mum' said...

readin ur post made me realise..how much i miss them!!

~smiles~
i m happy for you :)
and yea.. i will be true to my promise of that wedding gift;)

Narendra said...

congrats man!!!


i m under shock. couldn't believe I am in the first few comments ..otherwise i always get in fouties or highers

rt said...

23 days!!!!!!!!!!! how can u do that to ur readers...its evil!!
great post as usual..hilarious..only u can write it ths way...

Shreyansh said...

Congratulations Abhi.

The actual thing was just so way down and so unjustifiably denied its glory that I almost missed it. You did just what Ekta Kapur. Almost missing the point. But you score cuz you make me laugh . :)

Congratulations again. Hope it is not a prank. :P

Jeet said...

Absolutely hilarious post. I've known your blog for the past week and since its downtime at work, i've almost read most of it and yes it is interestin to be a part of your journey.

I have been travellin all over the place in the past month that i dont enough space for stolen lotion bottles from hotel rooms either

Curses or 'abusive words' as you put it are first words that are learned in a new language. The first words i learned from spanish were not so PG-13. Also the hindi ones i taught my amreeki friends.

I am not even going to comment on how you know how Advani's legs look.

Ok now b4 the day ends, lemme get some work done and not waste my time on this wonderful piece of writing

tc senor

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Marlee said...

welcome back abhinav....23days is too long a time for u to saty away frm ur blog...

all the best with the 'ash' of ur life ;-) so the last post was actually an anticipation for ur readers!

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Mubarak ho sir! :)

Amit Panhale said...

u just know how to keep us getting back to ur blog...

so now will be waiting for u to unravel the mystery behind the title...

Early update plz..

aMyth said...

Congrats dude.. Congrats. And yeah, take in all the beauty Kerala has to offer, coz it's one of a kind ;)

Ajith said...

So, where did ur Aishwarya come from ? Is she any of those Kingfisher Airhostesses who got pissed off seeing u ? Or any mallu beauty ;) ?

'jo said...

bhagwan yahan to race lagi hotti hai.....first comment dalne ki.....neways 14th position not bad.......

firstly welcome back abhi.....oh its lovely to have you back....

and secondly congrats for the good news...

Prashant Raj said...

to tumhaarai basanti aa chuki hai system mein....badhai ho....aur saath hi saath blog ke liye bhi....khattarnaak hai boss....cheers rahega!!!!

Neo said...

Beta babloo i told u, fishes and grls like things which shine. ladki ne haan teri chamkele silk wali shirt dekh kar hi bola hoga :P
Congatulations !!!!
Barat mein pappu and sons aaarchestra walon ko matt bulana ... 10,000 watts ke speaker layenge \:D/

Indranil said...

So that explains the 23 day agyatvaas....Congrats dude for finding basanti...And keep posting regularly...

syrals said...

Hey that was funny again, btw congrats on winning your lucky lady. Hope you reveal more about her on your forthcoming posts. :)

Hope you enjoy the beauty of Kerala more this time. :)

Rajesh Rana said...

enjoy...

Thisisme said...

Read many of ur blogs...
really funny :)):))

padh kar pata chala ki tum toh hamare junior nikle :-)

Anyways..congrats for the
"Aish" in ur life and blog more n more..its really fun to read them! and yeah do soak up the sun in kerala..its really god's own country :)

Anonymous said...

hey great having u back..
as usual a good read..
n
aishwarya tho buddi ho gayi hai..
jaane dee...

d_grail said...

cngrts n ya wat a relief to read ur blog...pls do so mre often

Anonymous said...

Its gettin as repetitive as peshaab from the nunni of a nanna munna baby.

Go home!

Anonymous said...

Congarts Man
U r too good, Learnt lots frm u and ur experiencecs.
Best of luck !!

Anonymous said...

that was SS above

megha said...

gud one

Zee said...

mubarak! mubarak! so u're all knotted up huh?
now that u have the internet back hope u've left the elite “guy-got-internet-still-no-post-for-23-days” blog club and we'll be hearing more often from u....
so cool to have u back!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations ! Finding a true soulmate for the rest of the life is the best thing that can happen to a human being.

Hope, you have got one!

Anoop said...

abhi congrats on finding ur own aishwarya.. hoping u will blog more abt that.....

Hey good to know u are back in kerala,.. and learned some mallu gali right, bet the word in patti..chheze

Josh Star said...

Yo man, so you are in Kerala now...
I too come from Kerala...
You were off for a few dayz...


BTW, I too come from kerala.

Can you recite the words you learnt there. Atleast the one which you use for self defence:)

Josh Star said...

Yo man, so you are in Kerala now...
I too come from Kerala...
You were off for a few dayz...


BTW, I too come from kerala.

Can you recite the words you learnt there. Atleast the one which you use for self defence:)

Raghav said...

haha..nice stuff man..are u on pg.com by any chance?

Ravish said...

"Shri Abhinav memorial Hawai Shauchalaya"...Awesome...if Mallaya saab happens to read this post..he will certainly open one for him...Nice post indeed...!

Life Lover said...

lol on the comment about the mallu oarsman!! also congrats for the great news :)

Strider said...

Congrats!! :-D

is patti the weapon in ur armory?

akshara said...

congrats on new post and 'ash'. hope she let's u blog tho'

Anonymous said...

Congrats Buddy...Hope ur "Aish" is as funny & as interesting as u....

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the last bit of news man!

But come what may.. disaster, tsunami, typhoon.. (er..) marriage.. do keep the blog rolling always.

~DC

Anonymous said...

well abhinav..hd great fun readin ur blog...
jus wanna say dis much..i knw who ur ashwarya is....:)
jus wanna wish u guys a great life ahead....:)

Poornima said...

Congratulations!

Suresh S said...

Mubharakho Abhi! Apni aish mili to samjho poori duniya mili. Kya bolta hai?

Vidya said...

CONGRATS! Been reading your posts sometime now, and I enjoy your homour.

//(angrezi main problem hain yaar)// -- loved it man! :))

Ye manzilen !! said...

Acchi khasi gadi chal rahi thi bhaiyya ke tum ne break maar diya - Ab ye "aish" nahi karoge - haan woh "aish" possible hai.

ABHI, abhi bhi wakt hai yaar maan ja...woh jo bhi hai KABOO kar ke chodegi.

Baad main bolna nahi ke yaar logon ne warn nahi kiya!

ps: Congrats main....agar wakai ash se acchi hai to jaane mat dena.

Ritu said...

she'llbe better than Aishwarya!! u bet..!
:)

"n abhinav memorial hawai shauchalay!!!"

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!

ken said...

Feels good to have you back in full flow in the blogworld and congrats for your very own aishwarya !!

ken said...

Feels good to have you back in full flow in the blogworld and congrats for your very own aishwarya !!

Sreekumar said...

Yesss!!! I am the 47th to comment!!!

Congrats on finding the ash of your life. After the previous post, this kind of post was expected.

Keep blogging.

Anonymous said...

You were in B'lore.. Good..!!

Anonymous said...

Congrats! & hope your blogging continues more frequently & outshines your bachelor days.

N~

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Anonymous said...

hey dude...in the last post(tension de basanti) u mentioned abt "THE BASANTI SYNDROME" and i felt i am not the only one single-and-happy-go-lucky-not-so-ready-to-mingle....i felt connected with ur last post and i thought u were one of us...lol...but its ironical that in the very next post u r telling us that u found ur "aishwarya"...good....so..aap bhi gaye line ke us paar and here we are..we lost one V IMP N EXPRESSIVE player....chalo koi baat nahi...i am happy for you..best of luck and remember...u were one of us...
keep smiling..

aman_agarwal_love@yahoo.co.in

ketki said...

congrats for finding aishwariya
hope your Aishwariya wont give tesion the way Basanti would have given

MINDfreak said...

Heartiest Congratulations! Yes, I like to keep my sympathies and condolences succinct and laconic.

Fathima said...

Getting engaged!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats!

Nariyal Chutney said...

Congratulations , Abhi :)

sushant said...

badhai ho abhinav sir

Deepika said...

Hey abhinav! U are my fav blogger.Read ur posts regularly.
Congratulations for 'Ash'.

Somya said...

Congratulations...Awesome post. I have two varying varieties in my team with different views on Kerala. While manager goes to Kerala everyyear for her vacation and come back looking like a west Indian. Another colleague of mine who basically belongs to Kerala, hates kerala so much that she doesn't want to take any chutti coz else her mom would deport her to kerala. I am sure u must be having some great collection of towels at home thanks to ur sweet habits. Chalo good ab aur mehnat shuru kar do after all now u'll have double responsibilities to shoulder.

divya said...

oye u came to bangalore again kya?? grr. and really what was the need to mention bout the ash-abhishek wedding,i`m trying to forget it... sniff sniff. congrats again yaar. me real happy for u.

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Anonymous said...

Congrats!!!!
Aapne kya jump mara!!Seems "Tension d basanti" ki basanti le li & tension kisi Aur ko de diya!!!!And yes,this one was simply exceeeeellent:):)!!
Have a rockin future;)

Anonymous said...

theres something about u man....
ur just amazing..... and that was a ripper of a post......
keep em coming

Karan

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Congrats :)
awesome post as usual...

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(you don't know me.. Been reading your blog for some time now - to me it's like a govinda movie based on lots of stuff that I can identify with - Keep writing :D)

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