Travelling by DTC (Delhi Transport Corp.) buses is nasty business.For one , the driver would consider you a natural athelete capable enough of jumping onto a bus travelling at 25 km / hr and won't slow down much as the bus approaches the bus stop. Then there is the issue of being blessed with a seat to place your ass on , the probability of which happening can sometimes be lower than that of you beating mike tyson to pulp.Trying to weave your way through the smelly and sweaty crowd towards the exit door as your bus stop approaches threateningly fast is another heart wrenching experience..
And by a cruel twist of fate , I have to travel in a DTC bus each day.
Now , all the seats in the left hand row of a DTC bus , save for a couple , are reserved for ladies . This noble reservation is indicated by the means of "Ladies" painted in italics over the row.Now what is interesting is that sometimes the male varieties of the homo sapiens species happen to land on these elite seats marked for the females.And what is more engrossing to observe is their reaction when a male perched on a ladies seat is encountered by a lady who demands that he stand up and let her sit down on the seat.
Basically , I have managed to identify the following varieties of males caught in this lovely position , based on their reactions :
1.Raja Rammohan Roy Clan
They would jump out of the seats before the lady would know , almost push her onto the seat and follow it up with a pepsodent smile.I have rarely chanced upon these species , so much so that they can be categorised as an endangered species along with the African Wild Owl.
These guys would lower their heads , pretend to sleep , read , brood , look out of the window , just anything to prevent from being uprooted from the beloved seats under their asses.But the liberated woman of today won't just forsake her right and stick her head right in front of the guy's nose and growl " Ladies seat !".And the poor guy , for the fear of being publically humiliated would relinquish his throne and let the female sit down.
3. Shakti Kapoor Clan
Now these are the guys with the extra wild male hormones who spot an opportunity to satisfy their natural desires in even this seemingly uncomfortable position.What these guys do is to look up , gauge in a matter of microseconds if the lady is "good " , and instead of getting up , shift over and say with a sly smile to the lady " aao jee , adjust kar lete hain ".Now no bhartiya nari would agree to sit on a seat with two other guys , one of whom is a direct descendant of shakti kapoor.So the matter is closed and she keeps standing.
4.The Gladiator Clan
These are the disgruntled souls who don't give a damn before confronting the lady with a super aggressive outlook and yell " main nahi uthta , jo karna hai karle !!!".Usually , these are the guys who have just been scolded by their wives , female bosses , girlfriends , washer women etc etc and hence bear a temporary grudge against the entire female variety of the homo sapien species and use this occasion to let out their anger.The poor female generally steps back unless she has a mike tyson in her family.
I guess there are a lot of other varieties too , but now I gotta continue with the googling and all I have to do as a part of my summers , so the next time you get onto a bus and more importantly onto a ladies seat , watch what you do.