Thursday, April 21, 2005

Ladies seat

Travelling by DTC (Delhi Transport Corp.) buses is nasty business.For one , the driver would consider you a natural athelete capable enough of jumping onto a bus travelling at 25 km / hr and won't slow down much as the bus approaches the bus stop. Then there is the issue of being blessed with a seat to place your ass on , the probability of which happening can sometimes be lower than that of you beating mike tyson to pulp.Trying to weave your way through the smelly and sweaty crowd towards the exit door as your bus stop approaches threateningly fast is another heart wrenching experience..

And by a cruel twist of fate , I have to travel in a DTC bus each day.

Now , all the seats in the left hand row of a DTC bus , save for a couple , are reserved for ladies . This noble reservation is indicated by the means of "Ladies" painted in italics over the row.Now what is interesting is that sometimes the male varieties of the homo sapiens species happen to land on these elite seats marked for the females.And what is more engrossing to observe is their reaction when a male perched on a ladies seat is encountered by a lady who demands that he stand up and let her sit down on the seat.

Basically , I have managed to identify the following varieties of males caught in this lovely position , based on their reactions :

1.Raja Rammohan Roy Clan
They would jump out of the seats before the lady would know , almost push her onto the seat and follow it up with a pepsodent smile.I have rarely chanced upon these species , so much so that they can be categorised as an endangered species along with the African Wild Owl.

2."well..umm..ok" Clan
These guys would lower their heads , pretend to sleep , read , brood , look out of the window , just anything to prevent from being uprooted from the beloved seats under their asses.But the liberated woman of today won't just forsake her right and stick her head right in front of the guy's nose and growl " Ladies seat !".And the poor guy , for the fear of being publically humiliated would relinquish his throne and let the female sit down.

3. Shakti Kapoor Clan
Now these are the guys with the extra wild male hormones who spot an opportunity to satisfy their natural desires in even this seemingly uncomfortable position.What these guys do is to look up , gauge in a matter of microseconds if the lady is "good " , and instead of getting up , shift over and say with a sly smile to the lady " aao jee , adjust kar lete hain ".Now no bhartiya nari would agree to sit on a seat with two other guys , one of whom is a direct descendant of shakti kapoor.So the matter is closed and she keeps standing.

4.The Gladiator Clan
These are the disgruntled souls who don't give a damn before confronting the lady with a super aggressive outlook and yell " main nahi uthta , jo karna hai karle !!!".Usually , these are the guys who have just been scolded by their wives , female bosses , girlfriends , washer women etc etc and hence bear a temporary grudge against the entire female variety of the homo sapien species and use this occasion to let out their anger.The poor female generally steps back unless she has a mike tyson in her family.

I guess there are a lot of other varieties too , but now I gotta continue with the googling and all I have to do as a part of my summers , so the next time you get onto a bus and more importantly onto a ladies seat , watch what you do.

16 comments:

karthika said...

hey buddy,which clan do u belong to?

jun said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JuN said...

"the driver would consider you a natural athelete capable enough of jumping onto a bus travelling at 25 km / hr and won't slow down much as the bus approaches the bus stop" << this happens in Bangkok, Thailand too. So you aren't really alone... =P

rohit kaul said...

hmmm..seems like those sying operations hav really made shakti kapoor a house hold celebrity...u use him in almost all of ur posts:-D....hmm.btw u dint tell ..u r in which of these categories :-?..

:-D

adios
rohit

Abhi said...

@ karthika : kiddo i am the "always standing" tribe member.i swear , i have never set my ass on a ladies seat !

@jun : thats the problem precisely.im not alone in getting onto the bus.thats the reason fr the "always standing" clan memebership.

@rohit : well , there hav been others ..amrish puri , gulshan grover ..but then shakti bhaiya has cause the most deep scarring on my psyche.

rohit kaul said...

"shakti bhaiya has cause the most deep scarring on my psyche. "

hmmm...now dun tell me he made u LIE on the ..ahem...rather infamous..casting couch:D...:D...

adios
rohit

sona said...

hi abhinav

nice post...bt it does show in which directn u alws look in the bus...n if all guys keep standing in the bus evn if the ladies seat is empty then m sure...bus will look crowded with lesser ppl in it n seeing the crowd no more ladies wud board that....:)

hey i hv blogrolled u....:)

Anat said...

hey this happened in a DTC bus 764, around the Delhi Cantt area...
it was a freezing cold January morning, a Jat lad with a blanket over his head was in the Ladies seat when a smartly dressed college gal went over and asked him to get up pointing to the "ladies seat" inscription, the jatt, looked up, peeped through the blanket and said "Lady ho gayi tu?? bachhe ho gaye tere??".... anyways then "public ne uski ki marr li" and he had to leave the seat!

panic said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA........I just wish that this hasnt been bounded................a substance of finite constraints....

saurabh ohri said...

hi
i wud say i have two qualities

im a Raja Rammohan Roy Clan

and im very modest and down to earth

haha

saurabh

Jack Sparrow said...

Hey?! That is true nowadays!

In my ship every lady has the right to sit!

And even those dirty pirates act like gentlemen in these occasions!

Bump! (J. Sparrow punches the table irritated with the lack of good crew nowadays)

Abhi said...

@rohit : I hate journalists.respect my privacy yar!between , shakti was good in bed..oops..couch :D

@sona:for gods sake ,sonika! dont expect me to look at the guys !n thanx fr the blogrolling.

@anat : ooo man.764 is the bus ive learnt my lessons from !i used that frm najafgarh(sehwag ka area) to my college.pretty educative trips there.

@panic:therz a lot more.

@Ohri :yup.it shows.u r dripping with modesty:P

@Jack:wish u start a ship service frm gurgaon to my office!

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arko said...

It's really amazing how women don't stand by their own principles and beliefs. On one hand they claim they are not weaker than men and call for gender equality.Fine, but they themselves condradict what they say by demanding reserved seats for themselves. Mind it,I don't buy the argument that women want reservation because they don't want to be sexually harrassed. If that's the case, why do we so often find women shamelessly sitting in the general seats even when the ladies' seats are empty? What do you have to say about that? It's fine if women want to have seats exclusively for themselves and don't want to sit with men. But even then they can stand by their principles of GENDER EQUALITY. Why don't they call for reserving the remaining seats for men and swear that they won't sit in those? Do men pay less money for their journey than women do? Then why should half the seats be reserved for women? Women cry for GENDER EQUALITY only according to their own personal conveniences. They won't utter a word demanding that EQUALITY which reduces their own comfort. ISN'T THIS THE HEIGHT OF HYPOCRISY?