Thursday, October 20, 2005

Say No to clothes ?

Flashback – I write the last post , do not complete it and scoot off into the sunset with the words “ To be continued”. Flashback ends.
No , don’t give me the “Cruel guy of the Month” award yet. I know I have been cruel , something like Hitler and Mussolini combined. Now I know how difficult it is to leave something hanging with the words “To be continued”. It’s like , you write “to be continued” and go back to work but this thought stays at the back of mind – “man , I promised to complete that , I gotta do it , god is seeing me , I gotta complete it.” My sympathies to Ekta Kapoor. She got a tough job.And my apologies to all of you for making you come back to check and think – “ Ok. He has still not completed it.I want to chop him into 836 pieces now ”.
You seen the Bajaj Avenger advertisement ? Where the guy says “ I forgive them all. I feel like god”. Here is your chance to feel somewhat like god , by forgiving me. I am really sorry. And you know the best part ? I still haven’t completed the last post. Ok . Thank you for the “Cruel guy of the Year” award now. But in the meantime , my exams got over. And I found this picture somewhere.

Hi.I am Mallika Sherawat. Remember Murder , naughty boy ? As you can see , I have been made to wear a saree , and that too with a “pallu” as big as a curtain , which is covering most of my body. This causes me a lot of mental agony. I hate wearing clothes . Even when not in the bathroom. But this photographer won’t understand. I wish he clicks the camera now so that I can take off this damn saree and get back to my natural and open state ”.

In the photograph , Mallika Sherawat is actually wearing something which could be called decent. And it is more disturbing than the fact that I have screwed my exam so bad , that the only way I can pass it is that I kidnap the wife , daughters , aunts , and grandmother of the professor and then call him up and growl “Don’t flunk me or else….(sinister laugh in the background)”.


But my mental /physical/social/economical agony pales in comparison to the pain Mallika aunty must have felt in posing for this picture. I mean , anything more than a bikini , and she feels over dressed . I wonder what made her wear a proper saree and on the top of that , pose for a camera too. That can shred her image , which she has pain stakingly built wearing shreds of cloth.

Now now now , I am not the type of guy who hates too many people. I don’t hate many people. I do not hate our neighbour , Mrs.Kocchar , who drove her maruti van into my bicycle when I was seven. I do not hate the senior who made me sing “Kaliyon Ka Chaman” , complete with belly button thrusts and gyrations , as a part of my ragging. I am the sort of person who finds traces of cuteness in even a Gulshan Grover with all his evil activities. But I don't like Mallika Sherawat. Boom Boom. Those were the hand grenades lobbed at me by “Mallika Fan Club” members.

I mean , in all her movies , she does three things , in a loop. Get in bed , be in bed , get out of bed. Repeat loop. And at the alarming rate she goes around kissing , I wonder why haven’t her lips fallen off by now. So when I saw this photograph , for me , it was like I had spotted a snake in my soup. Mallika in a saree. I was like “Man. Someone needs to record the exact time .This is a historic moment. I saw Mallika covered up”.

They say she represents the “maadern-bold-indian woman” , who is unafraid of expressing herself and flaunts the “in-your-face” attitude. They say she is unafraid of being bold. Bold ? What does she do , wrestle with crocodiles or chase criminals or something ? To my underdeveloped greycells , she is someone who uses her body to achieve what is meant to be obtained through more decent means.

Girls are like “ Whoa ! Those Shiv Sainiks ask us not to wear short skirts ! What is this , the stone age ?” I mean , women liberation is not in women being like “See , I am taking off my clothes now. And you can't stop me.Got that ? See , I am taking off my clothes. I am the liberated woman. I have the power to do what I want.”

I feel women are made by god to be much more sensitive and mature and complete than men. And that’s their beauty.They are elegant and caring and have this delicate sense about them. And their liberation lies in being able to do what they wish , but not in disregarding the modesty and elegance which is the essence of feminism. I mean , if a girl thinks her freedom is in wearing minimal clothes in public , she needs to see the thousands of ordinary girls all over India , who wear cotton salwaar suits and may be termed “behenjis” or “orthodox” , but have an inner confidence to go out and work as teachers and nurses , instead of being a Mallika .

I must explain my position. My exams ended a few hours back and its almost 4 in the morning and I am real low on sleep and I feel like a log of wood right now. So in case you are wondering why I am typing what I am , even I do not know.

But to think that Mallika is just all over , from the cover page of cosmopolitan to the movie with Jackie Chan to interviews on CNN. That makes me feel strange. I don’t hate many people.I don’t even hate the spammer guys who leave comments about their health insurance sites and bike repair sites and ceiling fans sites on blogs. But I don’t like Mallika Jee.

49 comments:

wtfdude said...

bidu, shes the next mother teresa.

she has the capacity to feed 100 babies in 10 minutes.

like her for that atleast.

poor kid said...

hmm..i have been checkin ur blog practically every 2 hrs for an update..last time it was at 3 yesterday night n now at 7 in the morn (that makes it 4 hrs though!)..i have an exam tom n i kinda started thinking that a new post would be a good omen,,n of course i thought it would be the continued post ...now what do i make of this? :( i know..sounds whacky..but we all have our whackinesses :)

P.S.: i hate mallikajee too.

sunshine said...

Munnu pataa hai even I saw her saree snaps recently in some magazine and these were exactly my line of thoughts then. Seemed she has come right from the stone age, since junta is so unaccustomed to seeing her wearing something decent. But instead of disliking her, pity her. What does she have apart from her body to show? And her boldness, not that I call it boldness, is just a means to gain unwanted attention. You know about her retirement plans? She is planning to write a book, saying is bande ne mere ko line mari thi and this guy made a pass at me and is director ne mera istemaal kiya tha. But isn't that what most jobless celebrities do? Write a book, I mean? Pity her Munnu, she needs to earn her bread, feed her slim stomach, and she has the right to choose her life.

jun said...

i watched the jackie chan movie and thought this girl is quite pretty. didn't know that there's so many 'stories' behind her! we don't get much news about her in my country. hehe.

Ashish said...

ROTFL.
man you are putting her to more shame (in our eyes!) then a bhenji would feel walking naked in the middle of the road. I wish I knew her ID... I would have mailed ur post to her =))

I hardly ever follow Bollywood, so didn't knew all that. but yeah saw her a couple of times in pics! Her bikini wallpapers are so popular on my hostel wingmates' desktops, that 'colgate daant manjan' guys would be surprised to know their years of advertisement put down by her in a year!

SonnyBoy said...

Right on buddy!! She is cheap! I wont even want to see her in her birthday suit.... Crappiest female in Bollywood!!

ze exaggerator said...

shit man awesome!!
kya post maara, mazaa aa gaya
nice1....

malika kee to chop ho gayi...
(u may also get a lawsuit from her now!)

par ek baat !
to be continued ka kya huva hitler?? ?!?!?!??!?

dotty_pixie said...

agreed..she really is a step beackwards for women's liberation..she's given a whole new meaning to it neway..by liberating her clothes..oh dear..somebody explain the term to her!
i agree with sunshine..she deserves a load more pity than hate..coz really what else does she have?she's one of those who cudnt see ne other way to earn her living..and wat are the chances of her ever becoming a movie legend..
i really dont think that 35 years from now she'll be recieving the 'lifetime achievement award'..
watevr it is..i feel really sorry for her..

Darth Midnightmare said...

Yeah... I know your pain. Exams from tomorrow and in a burst of sympathy the powers that be (read: the Acad Secy) has scheduled all the toughies, 3 in all for me) within the space of 20 hours. I know what I'd do if I ever had a shotgun...and no, I don't mean I'd blow his head off...I'd aim 2.5-3 feet lower...

As for women, *sigh*, what can I say? I don't know if I like this whole "modern woman" concept. A look at my Mars series and anyone would know just why I say that...seems to me that the modern woman is just the term used to describe the "no-so-modern woman" with a whole lot more eccentricities and idiocies added :-(...not to mention the complications and complete lack of logic that characterised the not-so-modern woman in the first place, which have remained exactly the way they were, if not increased :-(...hope that makes sense...did it?

divya said...

"you can hate me but u certainly cant ignore me" this,i`m sure is what mallika sherawat keeps telling herself. and ur post goes a long way in proving that.sherawat is in buisness because somehwere along the line,her movies make money.they make money because there are people who actually watch such crappy movies.. which is why madam mallika is under the illusion..that she`s oscar material!! about shedding clothes..i agree with u. cavemen in the stoneage didnt wear clothes,clothes are a sign of progression not regression. people who think otherwise need to get their concepts in history right. now now ,let me sign off before my comment gets longer than ur post ;-)

s said...

munnu rem u once said its ur blog n u can write watevr u want to write likewise its her body,her life and she can do watevr she wants to do with it.Thats right to freedom.i guess every individual has a right to make decisions in life. gud or bad its wat dey choose..i believ every one should hav a right to go where they want, do wat dey want n live life the way they want as long as it does not infringe upon somone else's right.she probably luvs all da attention and the adoration she gets from a large section of the people..So LIVE and LET LIVE.and atleast shes better than a lot of leading stars in the industry who do worse things behind closed doors(aman verma,shakti kapoor..are just tip of the iceberg..)

Passage2soul said...

Man u talk shit in golden words...i m with "S" .......LIVE n LET live...now don't hate me for this;)....great wit u have( now this is not pushing.:D)

Passage2soul said...

Man u talk shit in golden words...i m with "S" .......LIVE n LET live...now don't hate me for this;)....great wit u have( now this is not pushing.:D)

Kamal Chopra said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kamal Chopra said...

Couldnt agree more with you on this. Totally crap is this Mallika

But, man when will "To be continued..." continue ? I like this Hitler though man

Sayesha said...

Whoa she looks good in the sari, huh? Rare picture... Sometimes a sari can be way more sexy than a bikini... remember Sush in Main Hoon Na? Whoa!! :)

manisha said...

Thanks for your compliment !
By the way,my exams are on too,and still i "invested" around 1hour reading your blogs.there are still quite a few to go.I really like the way you can pen very matter-of-the-fact things in such an interesting way.Keep blogging.

ANGEL_NIDHI said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Aj said...

Abhinav
itna senti mat ho Mallika ke kapdo ke liye
Its indian junta only who has made her "popular".Correct me if i am wrong,but its not only india, everywhere there are actresses who adopt this shortcut to "fame".
I dont profess her, neither i am i in her side.What i am saying is that "junta" -who watches her filmes and makes them hits and directors who do such films and require such roles with least clothes make her do that.
She is acceding to market demands ..isnt it.Taking that "shortcut to fame "...

amen
Aj

Anonymous said...

Frnds, She becomes hit bcoz there are ppl to watch her stupid films.If u hv good talent you need not display your body.Unfortunatley for certain group of ppl(We seem to hv lots of them) these movies work & she gets more chance to display herself

ANGEL_NIDHI said...

http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/mag/2004/04/25/images/2004042500050401.jpg

mallika is in decent wear her too :P .. search for rani sari.. then kajol sari.. then preity sari.. ull find results on google Image search.. but google Image search fails when it comes to mallika sari.. must say.. tum pahaar khood k heera laye ho :P

hehe..

wher did u get this reae pic from??

tata
nidhi

Raam Pyari said...

namaste munnu jee,
well...u know MS is NOT here to be a brilliant actress...a social worker..no nuthing of that at all...she just wants to be spoken about...and shez damn good at it!!
See ,apparently every one hates her..but evryone talks about her as well..shez nt here to be popular or the types on whom mums want to model their daughters or in whom potential mumz-in-law see a potential beti-in-law ..Naah! she wants the limelight...n u bet shes getting it...
i feel disgusted by her..but i also know that shes one wannabe whos gonna be!!!

Anonymous said...

oye little munnu dude, waiting eagerly for the rest of the story. post it before long yaar, have some mercy on ur readers. :)
anyway i hate mallikajee too.

deepako

abhinav said...

@wtf- 100 in 10 ! whats she - a mother dairy booth ?

@poor kid - dnt wrry.plz be calm.pappu paas ho jayega .amitabh says that too.

@sunshine- "But isn't that what most jobless celebrities do? Write a book, I mean?".

Excuse me , I plan to write a book someday.

@jun - there is a lot to her jun.and she dsnt hide much of it.

@ashish - mallika's bikini wallpapers are the next big thing.im already drawing up a business plan to market BMW.that stands for bikini mallika wallpapers.

sonnyboy- whoa ! i thot most boys adore her.welcome to the "down-with-mallika" club man.

@mani-lawsuit from mallika ? bring it on. where is my lawyer now.to be continued wali post.it would be continued.

@nivindya - its good you agree.otherwise , most girls are like " all the kachra in this world is due to men".agreed , most of the scum is due to men , but this one is a blot for women.

@mike - aha.women and mike.u dnt need to say a word man.u r like the prof in woman matters.seriously , i wanna blast women , n i think of mike.

@divya - agreed guys watch her movies.but wat is she - 'u want this , ill give it to you' kinda person.she gotta have her own standards and convictions of modesty and decency.and hey , for once , u agree with my views on some woman !:)

@s - i wud just repeat my reply.agreed guys watch her movies.but wat is she - 'u want this , ill give it to you' kinda person.she gotta have her own standards and convictions of modesty and decency.n i cant touch her man , she wud live.after all , she is a star , while im not even a candle.

@pass2soul- wow.shit in golden words.this is good.im bond.james band.the "man with the golden shit".

@kamal - yar TBC ( to be conitued) bhi niptata hun.waise u want the facts real quickly , mail me.psst , we can talk abt this.;)

@sayesha - whoa ! she does look pretty.abt sush looking good , i wont hate her in a bikini either.whoa !

@manisha - ah . i know the exam feeling.hope u r feeling fine.n u dint 'invest' ur hour , u burnt it man.my blog is like the wastebin of time.u wnt learn a thing here.

@aj - she is acceding to market demands.yehi to problem hai.does she have to ? dont the other heroines do well by playing a rani in black or a kajol in dushman or an aish in devdas ?

@anon - yeah.the fault lies with both public and her.but shes not the victim in any way.

@nidhi - ha ha.dekha ! are tera bhai bott johri type ka banda hai , heera doondh hee leta hain.how r u ? ab sab theek hai ?

@ruchita - yup she wud be popular and is not going down.but if her aim is to be known without caring abt how she does that , thats disgusting still.

@deep - hey bhai , am so sorry.yar plz dnt wait fr it.i mean , it shall happen , but i dnt wanna keep anyone like "oh oh oh , its still not there".

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