After a delayed air deccan flight with its 'Asuvidha ke liye khed hain , deri ke liye kshama chahte hain' slogan and a delayed bharti televentures guy with his ' Arre bhai kal piroblem mein fans gaya tha , aaj shaam laga dunga na internet' , both me and the internet have reached our home in gurgaon .
People at home have a different perspective of things . At the hostel , a room fire would have been given the imprtance of a stray dog by me . But it was almost a national crisis scenario when ma declared "Aaj paani ki problem hain ! Jaldi se naha lo sab " an hour ago . My transition from espn to the bathroom was swift . There were so many lizards watching me whenever I bathed in the hostel bathroom , I feel strange without any company in the bathroom here . Also , I have been watching a decent amount of cricket on the television . Commentators on channels like espn and ten sports and espn are so correct , they are almost boring . Give me doordarshan's bumbling Maninder Singh who screams 'Sundar stroke !' as the batsman is clean bowled.
Some years ago , when Kapil Dev smacked his big lips and said "Yeh ball kuch jhuki jhuki huee daali hain fleming ne" during the commentary for a one day match , I fell in love with hindi commentary forever. I mean , a Geoff Boycott has to be in real good touch to provide what these hindi commentators do .
Maninder : "Jin darshako ne apne TV set der se khole ho ( TV mechanics ? ) , unko main bata dun ki iss waqt bhaarat aur jimbaabvhe ke beech khela ja raha yeh match kaafi romanchak mod pe khada hain " ( See ! Maninder got my adrenaline pumping now )
Yashpal : "Jee maninder , aur main yeh samajhta hun ki iss waqt bhaarat ke ballebaazo ki koshish yehi rahegi ki kuch run banaye jaye ." ( That is an eye opener . I thought the batsmen are gonna wash clothes with those bats )
Maninder : "Bilkul Yash , lekin mera yeh maanna hain ki agar yahan bowlers 8-9 wicket chatka dete hain to match jimbhabvhe ki mutthi mein aa jayega" ( Maninder overlooks the fact only six wickets remain )
Yashpal : "Jee .Isi beech over ki samaapti , pakistan ka score chaar vikket par ek sau do run."
( During the commercial break , Rajesh , the scorer , informs yashpal that it is not pakistan but India , and the score is not 102 but 201 )
Also , have been reading some spiritual literature . 24 year old . Fresh IIM passout . Starts work in two months . I guess with these conditions I should be reading something like '101 ways to utilise the last sixty days of freedom , with a special pullout on how to propose to the colored hair neighbourhood girl you have always admired ' . But I have been reading a book which has a mist covered tree on its front cover and words like mokhsa , nirvana and enlightenment between its covers .I have just read about the theory of karma . It says my internet connection in this birth of mine is slow because during my last birth , I was a dog and chewed on some optical fibres to deprive an entire colony of internet . My ma checks on me during the night to see if I have bought a kamandal and hopped on the train to the nearest mountain peak . In fact , more than what I know , the way I think is more important to me . I have often been found to be as intelligent as a mosquito repellant machine , and I still get confused between left and right , so I am trying to make up for that by reading stuff which will make me more wise , if not intelligent .
And if ten years from now , the only guy staying back in India is a bazooka toting , pakistan bashing and angry Sunny ' Indian' Deol , I won't be surprised . One part of me has always wanted to wear caps and tee shirts which say 'Mera Bharat Mahan' , but the way politicians in urgent need of rapidex engliss speaking course are messing with insitutes such as IITs and IIMs in this nation , I am not sure if my kids will have the money to wear any kind of tee shirts . The OBC reservation announcement is genuinely the second most super duper export quality stupidity to happen to IIMs , the first being my admission . Being a general category student , I know it takes years of hard work , an incredible romance with lady luck , a lot of cash pumping into coaching institutes , and quintals of 'aashirwad' from our parents for us to get that one seat in an IIM . And then I switch on NDTV and learn that a bunch of politicans who need calculators to find the square root of nine and pronounce shanti as saanti just swooped away hundreds of such seats under their perfumed dhotis . I mean , one fine day in 2030 AD , I imagine a Ipod listening - spiked hair dude coming into my room as I lie on a chaarpai and asking me "Hey dad , I just cleared my engineering after flunking thrice , do I try for the six seats these IIM people got for us general category students ?". But this is not the time to panic , all the general category students affected by this move should remain strong and united and find the nearest OBC certificate printing shop where we can place our orders in bulk . Saste padega yaar .
Blogging from home as its advantages . You get a clean table with no coke glasses and half eaten biscuits lying around and you don't have to climb down three floors to the mess , you can keep sitting and yell 'bhookh lagi hain' and mummy tells you to shut up . But it has its disadvantages too . Like saira , our kaamwali asking me to get up as she has to sweep the floor under my computer table . So I guess this is it for now . Waise bhee , I think ma wants me to fill up some buckets before the water runs out . Paani ki problem hai na yaar .