Saturday, May 20, 2006

Pappa ! your car is in the bageecha !

In 15 days , I will leave home to start my first job . On June 7 , I take the morning flight to Calcutta and land at ganguly-land in two hours , along with the in flight magazine I always smuggle out to my boost my 'Yah I am a baddd boyyy' component of personality. Just received a big parcel from the company . The courier guy was like "What's in this parcel ?? Inzamam ul haq ???". For the first 10 days of my induction , I will be staying at a 5 star deluxe hotel , so I better start knowing a sweet couple called Mr.Fork and Miss.Spoon . Right now , a video involving my table manners can be nominated for the top 10 most disgusting videos of the decade , just below a mms involving Paresh Rawal in a shower scene .

And yesterday was a jet black day in the history of my driving . Early in the day , I was reversing the car out of our house and I barged into the hedge around our garden . Dad was like "Shucks !!! All those scratches !! Looks like a crocodile used my car door for her manicure . " and ma was like "Ullu !!! You killed my jasmine plants !! Their fragrance was so lucky for our home as per vaastu shastra !". Last heard , dad was telling ma something about getting my class VIII wali bicycle cleaned and repaired .

In fact , I have been getting a lot of 'Be responsible' talk from my parents . I swear on Kareena Kapoor , I don't want to increase their problems , but I don't know what to do to come across as 'responsible' ? wear a space suit ? Talk about the war of 1971 with them ? Maybe I should give in to the fact that the atmosphere at home is a pretty no-nonsense types . Like this morning , as dad was getting ready for office , he remarked " My employers may post me to some other city in a few months . If this happens , I will resign ".

And I said " Yeah do that . Then Rohit Bal's son will say 'My dad is a designer' and I will say 'My dad is a resigner' ". I don't even know if 'resigner' is a proper word , and I know , my financial accounting book's index is more amusing than what I said , but I thought it was better than a simple "Yeah , ok". But my dad just blew up and declared I can never be serious in life . I don't know what to say . I guess it takes a lot to understand why a guy slips on a banana skin and gets up and curses every banana in the world with frequent mention of the banana's ma and behan. And why another guy slips on a banana skin and gets up and grins sheepishly . Most of us have the same circumstances , the same mix of 'kabhi khushi kabhi gham' , but it's the attitude which defines our lives .

And I have been hitting orkut lately . One thing I don't get is that why people put up pictures of filmstars as their profile pics . I know my picture can induce bed wetting in kids upto eleven years old , but putting up a Salmaan Khan pic as my profile pic is like saying "Ok . This is me . I know the guy who starred in Hum aapke hain kaun resembles me ."And I sure won't look at some girl's profile pic and say "WoW !!! Laetitia Casta is on orkut !!". I know you guys would be looking at the hitler's passport sized foto staring at you from the sidebar on the right , but hey , that's not me ok ? I need to visit Shehnaz hussain for three years to look that good .

I am listening to 'Aankhon mein tera hee chehra' from the aryans right now . It came out sometime when I was in school , class XII maybe . It was like the 'teenage love anthem' for me at that time , a song which was like the background tune everytime I came across anything resembling a female . Man , I feel as old as a banyan tree remembering all those days , to think that I am turning 25 this year . It's another matter that I still ram cars in garden hedges . Hata saawan ki ghata.

67 comments:

dharmu said...

*gold*platinum*diamonds*

quite an achievement to be a first one in munnus blog!!!

Raza said...

I cant believe my luck. Great post as usual. I better hurry so that I dont lose the second place.

its me said...

Inshah Allah...so what did Inzamam say???
"posted at 12:41 AM???" u can make soooo much sense at that time??? u can remember your childhood at 12:41???
U R GOD... i cant remember my name after 11:00 PM...

Raza said...

Happy would be an unsightly word to describe my feeling.

I am so carried away that I now want to be in the top three, twice!!.
With this achievement, I have already forgotten that a two wheeler hit my parked car this morning, on the first day of its obviously short life span.

pandora said...

haha..waiting for you to get transferred to patna. safe'est' zone! ;)

pandora said...

I mean posted to*[not transferred] transfer ke liye toh aur badda banyan tree shayad hona padega...

dharmu said...

kya munnu, car ko aise thokte hain kya? mummy ka garden kharab kiya na? ab dehej mein car hi mango think hai?

nice post after a long wait. and sirji, hope u wont stop blogging after u go to kolkatta.

five star hotel?jeez!lucky u! suna hai wahan ac,bathtub,or room service hota hai?

Anonymous said...

hey whats ur orkut name?:)

Ms. V said...

You are SO gonna be stalked on Orkut now!!!

just_a_girl said...

Hey Abhinav, wish you all the best and loads of success for your first job :-)
And you are so right, its attitude, that makes a big difference on your life, it determines everything!
And hey! I would like to add you in my orkut friend list!!!
(Will u do friendship with me :P)
And i read ur HILARIOUS article on CYBER DESPOS, and i promise u I am not one! :D
Hahaa.. I wont bug you, and scrapping you and asking you to scrap back!! hahahaaa...

just_a_girl said...

Hahahaa.. Ms.V is so damn right!!!!!!!!!
IMLAO

freshtoxin said...

see your driving skills resemble salman khan in a way.

Anonymous said...

Hey Hit(ler)
You never let me down with your posts
Good going...

CheerS

Restless said...

as usual u made me smile .. my son;) ..

yea..i expect an exponential increase in ur number of fans in orkut..~grins~

(p.s. i added a couple of zeroes more to ur share in the will )

shweta said...

hmm...nayi post ...nd u didnt even tell me ...haah ..hitler ...tekko toh batati hoon ...nd inbtwn hitler ki shakl khud laga kar rakhe ho nd dusre log ko bolte ho chi chi chi ......nd i completely agree wth u ...ki orkut mein logon ko apni photu hi lagani chahiye ..instead of actor or actresses or hitler ...hihi..but ..u saaabzi r orkutting too much now...nd instead of me gng to orkut rehabilation centre ...tereko bhejna hoga ...charlie ...!!!! chal take care ...nd keep scrapping !!..cal se bhi yaar ...but tekko june 7 th tak toh fultoo "pakka" sakti hoon ..ding chank!!!!"evil grin"...

Sayesha said...

Aankhon mein tera hi chehra... didn't the video have a bacha looking Shahid Kapur or is it something else I'm talking about? :O

ketki said...

Nice post.but whats unusual abt that? ab yeh dialouge purana ho chuka!
anyway congrats for the first job!

just_a_girl said...

and i forgot to add, the girl in the video, hrishita bhatt was my childhood friend.. they we both shifted, and its been years since we have lost touch,,,!!!

She looks really gorgeous in the song!!!!

Akash said...

Kid, as you are being put up in a ***** hotel, I'm very concerned about how would you make do with the toilet papers with dignity and grace. Believe me, you have no other options, no tap or bidet or the like to rescue you. Room services usually don't help in that act. You can use the bathtub beside on the sly, but I'm afraid, in such case, generations to come will never send their kids to IIMC. But I sincerely hope that you are be able to MANAGE that situation by contriving some tricks, if not for others, at least to prevent the reputation of IIMC from falling. Now the question is how?

Shekhar said...

Damn cute post, bhai jaan. And I guess I'm the luckier persons roaming this country...my dad manages the bang the car around more than I do !!

Nidhi2Abhi said...

Hey !! your 'Pappa' is choo cute !! i mean the way you say 'pappa' and not 'papa' :P

And lolz @ 'resigner'...my dad would have become a resigner many times over...now can Bal ever become a 'designer' many times over ... hmm... :))

Gaddi gaye khet mein...accha...chalo bageecha hi sahi !! You better stop playing with the fork and spoon and start concentrating on all the free goodies you can get from 'Sonar'

I liked that 'Sepia and Sutta' photu of yours...woh laga do...ITC ke naam par :P

Take care ! All The very Best !!!

Fursat said...

ppl at work curse me everytime i misplace some big amount cheque..but what to do..i dont do it intentionally...so i can understand your be-responsible-types thoughts :(

anyways..tu chill maar..aur haan tera no. to maine uss din note down hi nahi kiya..

and ya few days have been left of your busy life..but remember what we chat yesterday...

chal bye..aaj phir se off mein ek mistake ho gayi :(

Raam Pyari said...

hata sawan ki ghata!
chill marr yaar!

yossarian said...

sirf first 10 days ??? :(( :((
abe main toh soch raha tha teri badaulat main bhi five i-star hotel ki sair kar loonga..tere fridge mein se dher saari toblerone chura loonga..aur free fosters pee loonga..damn..saari umeedon par dhande ice-cubes daal diye

dharmu said...

ok, as the prez, i am plannign to strengthen the security around u in orkut. ppl r stalking u munnu,
play safe.

gharke bahaar jate waqt mummy ko saat leejaana ok?

divya said...

now i know what takes u so long to reply on orkut. ur looking at pictures of filmstars while u pretend to be doing all the household work!!grrr, and finally there is someone whose driving skills are worser than mine... i`m feeling proud and all.

Anonymous said...

you r simply funny and great ..
just writing the very day today happennings in such an interesting manner that any body feel happy after reading your blog ..
that's the different thing abt it ...
any way at times som crticisms and for the certain nonsense u write is also needed but u r doing gud work ,...
:))))

Aj said...

Abhi.. car learning me kuch toh todna hi tha.. garden hedge hi sahi... hope kisi bechare/bechari ki taang wagarh nahi todega :)

Anonymous said...

r u gettin paid for da google ads at ur blog..just wondering..since i hav nuthin better2 wonder dese dayz..:-(

Bharat Jhurani said...

humorous man!! and 5 star hotel han!! lucky u.. hope u won't quit blogggin after takin up the job???

satish said...

oh abhi, remember me?? im d one who commented in one of ur previous posts with the coolness of himani navratna tel kee abhi u cud have donr far better. sorry to have taken so much time to reply, par meri chhuttiyan had started and i had to go back home. i know you have already forgot abt whole thing which is gud, but i still need to say something.

first things first. abhi is the 'betaaj badshah' of the blogging world, is the absolute truth. you are a source of inspiration for many devastated souls who want to make it big in the blogging world(jyadaa ho raha hai kya??).

anyways, i am a regular reader of your entries and i have had most amazing time of my surfing time at your place. yaa, its true i never said 'thankyou' for those moments aur jub critize karne kee baari toh aa gaya munh utha ke :).

i think it might be just me but i felt kee there was something missing in 'that' post. OR it might be my mood ( i had my endsems going on then yaar aur main poore time aapka blog padte rahta tha). and i read the comments u got on that post and they have said it perfectly right kee u sudnt let one stranger affect ur life in this fashion.

personally, i am flattered kee i got featured in one of ur posts thanks to my unintentional intelligence.(smug)

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-8k4mG6Ameqo4.mHD1ucNvNDL_Ebi
main maine bhi apni kuchh kalakaari dikhai hai. and i wud be honoured if u cared to read 'APRil fool manaya' entry. i think in some ways i have tried to copy you in my writing style but then again 'immitation is the sincerest form of flattery'. and yes i wrote that entry on 1st April.

chaliye keep rocking.

Sreekumar said...

fueherer ji...you are right...turning 25 is depressing

arpz said...

i dont know how to drive a car :(

sopeti said...

Orkut?? ... heehee
BTW,All the best for your job ...

nims said...

hey abhinav....i must say the humor element in ur posts just keeps getting better n better....crocodile using the car door for maincure!! lol

am a reg in reading thy posts.....keep writing n gud luck with the new job!

Anonymous said...

that made a very good reading really...
Keep it up

Anonymous said...

that made a very good reading really...
Keep it up

meow said...

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AJITH said...

Well, can you put up a convincing and humourous post against reservation ? It'll be picked up by the media

blade said...

Geat blog!

Somya said...

Welcome to the deadly drivers grp hitler...I have been a gold medalist till date in worse sense of direction and tragic sense if driving but u plan give me some good competition in near future.

Anonymous said...

wow u graduated from bike to car..gud ..aur jab tak learning kar raha hia car to L ki jagah OBC ka sticker lagale .. koi mantri tak kuch na bigaad sakega tera.

Anonymous said...

haa yaar humurous waala likhna reservation k against. It will certainly get picked by media.

Anonymous said...

nice blog.Fnatstic view on life and its moments.starts me thinking.Been reading ur blog for a month now.First time i am commenting.Good Work.But do get serious abt the Hitlers' aatma thing.I wouldn't find that funny on any standards.

Ritu said...

cool blog mann!!
its' hillarious!
:)))))

Fursat said...

have a nice journey...enjoy enjoy :)

baad mein to tu busy ho jayega :D

chal bye when u ll be back..ll call u :D

Anonymous said...

Are you d one who writes dialogues for all govinda/david dhawan movies? :) It definitely is a compliment coz i simply love all govinda movies!!!

Bulbul Gopalani said...

why is it hitler's soul? have read most of ur posts but have not come across that...

Niharika said...

Hey! one of my friends pinged me your blog link today. Am still not done reading all your blogs.. but my colleagues thought I have gone crazy, for I was laughing all by myself reading your blogs. Its comparatively a free time of year for me.. not much work..so your blogs make a great read! and I must say your writing style is like this author, J.D. Salinger, who wrote a book called "Catcher in the Rye" well this book is my fav. And you remind me of this guy soo much!! Anyways.. good luck for everything.

Rose said...

~Smiles~

Hey Banyan Tree.. Im sure u wud be quite a competition to Paresh Rawal in the shower... All the best on ur first job!! N al the best with Mr.Fork and Miss.Spoon (Hmmm.. funny y u called them a coupl and addressed the Spoon as Miss.. ;)).. Hope u dnt have to cycle in ur VIII wali bicycle to office...

:)

..Me

sapphire said...

loved the croc's manicure thingie lol

Anonymous said...

boss itne daer, ab agle post kab lekh rehe hoon??

anonymous said...

boss itne daer, ab agle post kab lekh rehe hoon??

princess said...

heh nice blog :D

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Abhinav Bhatt said...

its pretty late to comment on your post after 2 years.. but I can say quite proudly.. It feels good to be named Abhinav as well ;)

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