Monday, May 08, 2006

Tussi IIM se ho ?

Free time offers a nice opportunity to reflect on life while putting on weight . So ma woke me up at 5 this morning . She says I should go on morning walks with her. She has this neat way of waking me up . She came over , ruffled my hair , and said "Bete , sone ka mann kar raha hain ?". Ma , I need to be undergoing labour pains to not feel sleepy at that hour . Anyway , I don't hate morning walks with ma , but the walking part irks me . But while returning ma stopped at the mother dairy and I made her buy me a Amul Kulfi . It was so pleasant with a cool breeze , ma and the thandi thandi kulfi .Looks like I have found a motivation for my morning walks .

And in view of my driving skills , my parents are getting me some kinda insurance policy . An insurance agent came over to our home yesterday . I will put in some money from my salary every year and will get a big amount when I am forty five . If I am dead by then , my wife will get it. ( To all you girls , I am dropping hints , silly ). The insurance agent made me feel good , without touching me , I mean . He was filling out this form about my details and asked "Bete , padayi kahan tak kari hain " . I was like "Jee , abhi mba poori huee hain" . So he asked "Oho , kahan se" , and I was "Jee , IIM calcutta..umm...calcutta mein hee hain" . For the next three minutes , his entire being was immersed in announcing to anybody in sight that I will be a rich guy and have three cars longer than the Nile river and a microwave oven and all the things rich guys have , illicit kids and all .

You know , that's the good part about coming out of IIM . Over there , I am with a batchmate and I think "ok , I will brag now" and say "Know what ? I got a percentile of 99.74 in CAT ( The entrance exam for IIMs )" and he would say " Oh , bad luck happens . Another answer wrong , and even my percentile would have been that low". But when I get out of IIM and have not many IIM guys around , people look at me and think "Ooh , he is from IIM ? He must know everything about why gold prices are rising." while I try hard to calculate the square root of 1 .

At the same time , we IIM guys have this image that we guys have bricks of extra ego strapped to our heads . It's like I don't call this friend because I was in a coma and then I wake up and call him and he says " Oh yeah , thanks for calling , you inflated ego-know it all-consumer robbing golden owl from IIM."

And once I was to meet this girl . I was like totally out of clothes . I had a choice between wrapping my ashwarya rai poster around my torso or wearing an IIM tee shirt. Considering the ashwarya initiative to a little anti social , I met that girl in a dark blue IIM tee . And she was like "shucks , you know what those waiters are talking?" . And I was "I guess about Govinda's role in saajan chale sasural" and she was " No . I know . They think I am with you because you are from IIM . I know" . I was like "Someone stuff this masala dosa up my nose . I want to die" . The rest of the evening was spent in my trying to scrape off every mention of 'IIM' from my attire . I never did wear anything with as much as an 'I' on it with her after that , and she is a nice friend now . ( Oye , If 'you' are reading this , I din't mind that ok ? It was natural .)

And the social interactions get a lot more predictable coz of this IIM thing .It's like I should have a '9th fail.10th fail.11th fail.12th fail.CAT crack kariye' sticker pasted across my front . I give a lift to this guy and he is "I wants to get to IIM . Tell me how or I will yell you just tried to kiss me". Imagine everyone asking you 'What do you say about Italy's transport minister's nose digging habits ?' . Because answering it is as 'umm..err..ahem' as answering "How did you crack cat?" for me . Frankly , I still get up in the middle of the night and go " man , what was it ? a mix up in the answer sheets ? Did the hundred bucks I placed in the answer sheet did it ? ". It's not that I don't like people asking me this . I am just stating what happens to me , not judging it . People helped me when I was preparing , and I not passing on the knowledge will ensure me a double bedroom apartment in hell . And hey guys , I know some of you have mailed me asking the same . However guesswork it may take , I hope to answer them soon .

Yeah , being from IIM , things look good on the professional front . at 24 , I have a found a job in a field I love and I have got a pay package cool enough so that I can say to my kid " Ok buddy , you can buy another butter scotch and give that to the girl you like , I can afford that for your girl" ( Ladies , this pay package thing is hint no 2 , in case your IQ dint let you notice ) . And you read about IIM guys all over the newspapers and think "All right , for a guy who won't find a place other than the obituary column before IIM , my chances for being in the papers some day look better now".

And the expectations shoot up and go through the roof and then the ozone layer . I have a distant cousion who did his MBA from IIM C some six years ago . And things like "He still doesn't wear Armani ? You sure it was IIM ? Two I's and M , right ?" are said about him .

Anyway , I can be like typing till the 22nd century about this , but then I may look like another of those IIM bastards with their bricks of extra egos strapped to their heads , right ? So I will just stop now and get back to deciding which model of mercedes to buy once I start getting my salary . ( Ok , this is it , miss , this is hint no 3 ) .

Note @ all the ladies : Don't take this seriously . Don't contact me . And don't complain about me to your brothers .

62 comments:

Sirius Black said...

ME first :O :O :o
* Freaks out nd jumpss out of the WINDOW*

Sirius Black said...

FInallyyyyyy :D
"The insurance agent made me feel good , without touching me , I mean . "
lolzzzzz nice post :P.I guess same things happening with sm of my frnds , coule of them goin to IIM cal.
Ps:I still cant believe i came 1st.
nd Dude u gotta pay me my medical bill coz i jumped outta window with excitement aftr being 1st here else i ll sue u on the basis of *Attempted Murder by indirect methods* or smthing like tht :-s

dkjariwala said...

I am laughing my ass off. This is the funniest stuff I read today.

Anonymous said...

Dude i got into blog reading through your blogs only n i found them pretty interesting and relieving.
At times i have felt really charged up.Infact if u c ur blogs of the aug05-Apr06 were pretty good where u talk in a free careless manner.

However i think u r becoming stereo typed in wat u write n perhaps judgemental of ur own creations..
try to think n write of a life beyond iim yaar!!
waiting for the cool incidents to be narrated soon

Rookie said...

Dude i got into blog reading through your blogs only n i found them pretty interesting and relieving.
At times i have felt really charged up.Infact if u c ur blogs of the aug05-Apr06 were pretty good where u talk in a free careless manner.

However i think u r becoming stereo typed in wat u write n perhaps judgemental of ur own creations..
try to think n write of a life beyond iim yaar!!
waiting for the cool incidents to be narrated soon

Shriedhar said...

Do IIM fellas hv brick sized ego's attched to 'em??? just as an accessory they can't get rid of??

may be :)

dharmu said...

me came in first 10 ?
iam seen jiving around, waltzing around.
hey, when did u post ?
i was literally glued to the comp waiting for ur new post.

finally, u posted...i will have a good luch tomorrow

Anshul Seth said...

Ye, u r very correct in writing abt the IIM phenomenon in India.
N it was good to hear that at least there are some pass-outs who remain down-to-earth, and not get caught up in haughtiness.But, it needs to be seen that how long u can keep this modesty.
I have seen ppl whose attitude changes completely after moving to IIM's. Anytime u talk to them it looks as if they are on some corporate mission.They look busy all the time, and look down upon ppl with lesser credentials.

Some ppl are so obsessed with IIM's that anywhere they go, or anything they do has IIM connotation. There is a famous blog by one ex-IIMite. I liked her writing style and the topics, but reading her for some time, I cud make out that she is badly obsessed with her alma mater. She has nothing else to talk and feels that she has attained nirvana going to one of the respected colleges.

Surely, the effort of making it to IIM's is worth applauding, but one thing that ppl shud learn is that there is life beyond it.
U may land a plum job by virtue of Day-0 at IIM's, but ur chances of going up the corporate ladder depends on how u perform over the years.

Asset
www.anshulseth.com

Bruce Almighty said...

mazedaar post...

sirjee, mercedes, mota-package, iim, crores ki hone wali zaydaad --- aap mujhe adopt kar lo please...

Anonymous said...

he he ha ha ha! i am posting this everywhere coz this is so freakin hilarious.

nothing like iim to feed an ego! :)

http://sanketdantara.blogspot.com/2006/04/some-ppl-r-just-so-irritating.html

some ppl r just so irritating.. "wow, u r lucky u got into IIMA" ...i got this reaction from quite a few and from some i was expecting it.. sore loosers tht they are.. but nevertheless it really ticks me off.. whats the meaning of "u r lucky" pleaseeeee with luck u may get into one or two maybe IIMs but not into every b-school you applied to.. 6 IIMs, MDI, ISB, NMIMS, SP JAIN( albeit last year)when they were out having fun, i was studying.. it takes me 1hr of comuting from home to work, so 2 hrs there plus additional 2 hrs after coming back from work after a 10-12 hr gruelling day at office.. on weekends, 6-8 hrs at IMS plus equivalent at home..so that adds up to arnd 36 hrs a week thts 4 work-days in a week... try doing this for 6 months and then tell me "luck" @#$%^&*^%$#&
try reading TOI and ET end to end everyday, followed by atlest 3 - 4 articles in a magazine with the aim of remembering the data and then see tha same analysis on big-fight, CNBC , CNN etc ... do this for 3 whole months then tell me "luck " @#$%^&*^%$#&
skip parties, dnt see TV ( cos dat the only way u can put in 2 hrs after work nd yet sleep in decent time ) skip movies, weekend hangout with friends ... do this for 6 months then tell me "luck " @#$%^&*^%$#&
nobody sees the hard work putin.. ya there was some help from above..i'ed say yes i was lucky the quota thingy is from next year...i'ed say yes i was lucky i got Info MGMT at SP Jain last year nd so i din take it up which is why i gave cat again nd got thru to all 6... but dnt tell me tht i got in to IIMA cos i was lucky !!!!
put in efforts the way i did then talk !else u might as well take the finger ! i dnt care a rats a$# as long as those who matter know my caliber and hard work the rest of u Suc#^5$ can take ..!.. no no...dnt even get me started.. the @%^$&%^%& is not even doing 1% justice to the choice of profane words i've lined up for such people...

Dexter said...

ads chalu kar diya blog pe? ab to tu crorepati banega ;)

dharmu said...

after reading the post-
munnu,lol @ masaladosa stuffed into the nose, italy ministers nose digging habits.

btw-u giving hints at all the miss'es here uh? bhooli bhaali ladkiyonko apne jaal mein fasaane keliye??
(well,couple of ur previous posts had some jalyfying anony ppl cribbing about u attracting gals uh)

@junta-female junta, if anyone intrested in accepting munnu's offer(based on the 3 hints given)plz mail me
*prezident of hitlers soul*
we will have complete coverage on "kaun banega munnu ki biwi"

where is the club reporter?

Dexter said...

"Some ppl are so obsessed with IIM's that anywhere they go, or anything they do has IIM connotation. There is a famous blog by one ex-IIMite. I liked her writing style and the topics, but reading her for some time, I cud make out that she is badly obsessed with her alma mater. She has nothing else to talk and feels that she has attained nirvana going to one of the respected colleges."

ha ha! are you talking about rashmi bansal ???

he he ha ah ha! esp read the comments .

where do people in IIM Ahmedabad dry their underwears? :) :) :)

Nirwa said...

LOL.. Italian minister's nose digging habits!

Great post!

Nirwa

Abhishek Upadhyay said...

Man that was amazing.
Bahut Khoob Bahut Khoob...

Hey I am also preparing for CAT...
reply kar mere mail ko nahin toh teri bijli devi ko kidnaap kar lunga.

Nishith Kumar said...

U hit the nail on the head. A fellow friend was asked "What coaching institution is best" and blah blah blah by the father of a fifth standard kid. lol.

Must admit, a funny and true post indeed.
Excellently done.

Restless said...

u made me happy:)))))...i shud have asked for sth else also;)..
i am doing mba myself..nah...not frm IIM..so kinda have my feet set firmly on ground..~laughs~
tht's the best thing about u..u r so down to earth~smiles~
be yourself;)
nice post:))... i cudn't have better start to my day..

Raam Pyari said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Raam Pyari said...

@munnu---- *sigh!* IIM
*anudr sigh!*


@annon jee who rote the lamba sa comment and used loads of @#@$$##%$^^%%--------After having read ur comment twice i must say that I totally agree with you...there is just sooo much of hardwork required....

Xpressions said...

Hitting hard against those with a bloated ego eh??? Well, graduating from IIM is definitely a credential.....lots of hard work involved, & u ppl definitely have an edge over others...but that doesn't give them the right to look down upon other mortals...after all IIM is not the be all & end all in life.....

Good post....yr down - to -earth attitude is commendable....inspite of being an IIM ite!!!

Also wondering how many girls fell for yr hints:))

Somya said...

lol...too good abhinav...btw ur father bought u that insurance policy to save on taxes...that means u'ave got nice package...well this information can serve as 4th hint for all the ladies.

Bharat Jhurani said...

So all the IIM-grads have alter ego hah!!U seem 2 b different...

just_a_girl said...

Hahaha... someone please gift me an IIM T-shirt too!!! :):)

Anonymous said...

I really love you man. wish more people like you existed. Will you marry me?

Suds said...

Hey Abhi nice post man. Keep writing and enjoy ur vacation.:)

Mecedes wow man.:) Sahi hai...

sunshine said...

Yes, I am reading it, and you know what? The IIM thing is highly hyped and overrated, and I have given you two valid proofs of that (people reading CB and RB). But then, ek baar kasrat karo aur saari jeevan aish karo. I just hope that someday chunnu (your nephew) doesn't ask... did you know dad went to IIM too?

And you are still not permitted to wear that tee shirt in front of me. I don't mind you stripping off like Salman Khan.

Devashish said...

discovered ur blogpost through an art. in rediff.
ur an artiste dude !
ab tumhare post regularly padhenge guru... :)

Jaggu said...

hey abhi, read ur posts after a really long time, the humourous metaphors still continue to tickle some work-exhausted tired ribs of mine, nice posts, so ve u joined work @ ITC? or breathing down ur last few days @ IIM ...? neways all the best to ya

Phoenix said...

:O :O
What!?

u r from IIM!!!

:O:O

I didt know that...
chhi chhii
un k bahut dukh hua
koi bat nahi life mein aisa hota hai kabhi kabhi...

chhiii chhii chhii...mujhse bhi paap ho gaya
ek IIM wale ka blog kaise pad lya maine,
mere bhaiya ko pata chal gaya to mere bare mein kya sochenge..kaise kaise ladkon se baat karti hoon main :P

shweta said...

hi...
nice blog ...almost like a roller coaster ride of ...hihihhihahahahohoho...njoyed reading tht ...nd well u can happily give ur ..iim ...t.shirt in an auction ...uski market value bahut hogi ...jst for the stamp iim as if ...its written like the envelope of career launcher prospectus...$1,93,000 inside ...nd u jst find out tht it takes alot of gruelling of ur aatma,man ki shanti nd dimag ki shanti nd sharirik kasht ...to clear the CAT ...
shwets

AJITH said...

hehe..Open matrimonial or what ?? nice way to put it across.. Hope some of the ladies get ur hints and come to u. :)

d_grail said...

gr8 post...thgt the mahajan one was gud this is better!!

pandora said...

haha..idea acha hai. koi accept kare..toh fotuuu dikhayo..I'll select for you.. :D :P

Anonymous said...

ur posts r so interesting dat u dont need to drop hints to ne girl.shell like for ur humour and wit.

Ankit said...

Nice try i m sure many gals will pick up the bait....

arindam basu said...

hey abhinav ... read your blog for the first time ... really cool ...

L said...

Lol...reminds me of the incident when one batchmate cracks a fundoo job and when we are attempting to "bumps" him, an agent appears with "Sir, Credit card le lijiye"

Sayesha said...

Chal kuchh bewakoof ladkiyan toh pat hi jayengi is post ko padhkar... phir apna asli roop baad mein dikhana! :D

The Bhandari's said...

aah ur current post is not allowing me to comment there :(

shweta said...

ahem ur ...todays post ..says ...well sme god damn blog administrator has traitored ur ...blog ...blocked it for us to post comment ....ddddddduhhh...tht blog administrator ..hpe he is reading this ...nd allows us to comment ...i am well new in posting my comments ...but since u replied so sweetly to my blog i wld write the comment neverthe less for ur ..next blog ...
1.its been really really SWEET of u ...to leave comments on my blog ...this i am particularly saying becuz u needed GLUCOSE after reading it ....aaarrrghhhh ....(coffee wld hve been better.. kidding)...
2.whoever this ...person may be ...really mite need u ...nd crown u the worlds ...ahem so goody goody character ...but i seriously well hve to still figure out
3.yaar u copied ndtv....not tht i want to show a crying baby face ....but yeah feel like repeating wth them ..."kyunki sach dikhate hain hum" ...
4.nd ahem this is related to the comment again ..yeah sme times i do feel plunging wld be a better option than jst thinking ...thnks .....


sorta honoured ....u left the comments ...
oyee kuch zada buttering kar di kya ..
saying this ..so tht u leave ur comments for my upcoming panchwarchiya yojna ...posts also ...hihih
yupppieee...

shwets

raven said...

oye... comments blocked for ever or only for this new post of urs?

me joining in bby this friday... leaving thursday evening. btw, did you purposely skip both the fresher and alumni meets?

dharmu said...

munnu beta, yeh tune kya kiya?
comment disable kiya?
abe mein kaise office mein TP karun?kisspe comment karun?kiska murdure karun???

more imp:meri bahu kahan comment karegi?

just_a_girl said...

hahaha... and when i saw zero comments I was like.. hey, now i want a medal! :):)

candid diary said...

U r slowly falling in line, man!
Bijli Kab Aayegi?

Smoochy said...

Great work on the blog, man. One of the most interesting and humorous blogs I've come across...
A side-effect of carrying 'bricks of ego on their heads', IIM grads start taking themseleves too seriously and lose the ability to laugh at themselevs and life. good to see you still have it!

Ritz said...

hmm read your blogs after a long time.. nice post wonder what people who kill to get into IIM.. [:)].. enjoy madi

Ritz said...

:O oh i meant wonder what people who would kill to get into IIM wud think :-)

Akash Mohanty said...

IIM or no IIM u r a really cool guy and u write so damn well,u have got a gr8 sense of humor.why don,t u write full time.Have u ever given any thought about that ?I fully agree that ur job is really important but as has said by better man than me,"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safty deserve neither liberty nor safty."

arora said...

So tussi IIM se ho ..interestin 2 know abt u ,even watevr comments u got were natural,bt yhe post was really interestin one.

Aks said...

This is hillarious !!
I do not know how many people really carry an attitude like you, IIM or no IIM but the way you have out across the experience makes me laugh n wonder at your situation...
Well good going at blogging .. hope to catch up here again :)

Ashish Singh said...

Great post! So close to heart!!Been through similar experiences myself.Mention that you passed out of IIM and suddenly converstation become more ANGREZI and polished.Wait till you have to ventire out with "your own IPO in the matrimonial jungle" where people will assume that you get 100K USD in India, and you help run a few businesses in India.
Reading all the comments endorses that people see most of IIM grads as Nose-in-the-Air type....i have not found many of that variety though. Most of them are quite country variety.

Anonymous said...

Bush goes ballistic about other countries being evil and dangerous, because they have weapons of mass destruction. But, he insists on building up even a more deadly supply of nuclear arms right here in the US. What do you think? How does that work in a democracy again? How does being more threatening make us more likeable?Isn't the country with
the most weapons the biggest threat to the rest of the world? When one country is the biggest threat to the rest of the world, isn't that likely to be the most hated country?
What happened to us, people? When did we become such lemmings?
We have lost friends and influenced no one. No wonder most of the world thinks we suck. Thanks to what george bush has done to our country during the past three years, we do!

shruti said...

Nice blog.I jst typed on google "life at IIM'S coz i was eager to know what life at IIM'S is like b4 taking up cat and i luckily got thru ur blog.u write very well.I think its just gonna be another comment for u coz u've been complimented so many times earlier.

PRASHANT SINGH said...

Great Post .
I am glad to know that you still have your feets on ground even after being from IIM but there is another side of the story too.

Students form IIM do have this hidden tendency to exploit and assert their IIM tag every where .

I had some access to IIM Allumni circle and i have noticed some funny traits in these guys [And Gals too]


Talk to any IIMer & if you are not aware of his Educational background he would make it a point to mention it with in 15 minute in to conversation . don't take it offensively but it seems that the IIM Tag is more of a crutch to support there inflated sense of self worth .

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Ashyta said...

I took all the hints seriously! [:P]

I read your blog via another IIM friend of mine @IIMI, just wanted to tell you, the situations you write about morning walks are same here on my side just that my mum wakes me up with a shout "Chal UUTTHH jaa". Another thing that you mention about the insurance agent, that also was an incident that happened with me when I met my IIM friend @ IIMI for the first time , probably that'z how we met.

Anyway, to sum up you write well. Touches heart!

Anonymous said...

chill out dude...its not like ur from Harvard of something

Anonymous said...

I regret, but I can help nothing. I know, you will find the correct decision. Do not despair.

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