Where's my purpose , dude ?

Time : 8:06 am
Place : Seaqueen hotel , calicut
A more precise place : On my bed .
State of mind : Just got up . Any use of words with violent , sexual or abusive connotations is due to a lack of breakfast and a shoulder pain resulting from the awkward position I slept in .

First of all , I am not sad . I have a decent career taking off , a family I love , friends I love, and a security guard I am beginning to love ( Things a lonely existence does to me ) . So it would take a fully loaded nuclear attack and a couple of Himesh Reshammiya's CDs to make me feel sad . On a related note , I just saw the video of "teri yaad na aye" from Himesh on MTV . The guy is crying lakes in the video . I had this urge to actually reach into the screen , wipe his face with a tissue and say "Na munna na , sab theek ho jayega ."

But even though I am not sad , I have a little thought nibbling on me this morning . The more I live , the more I realise two things . First , I still don't have a 'purpose' in my life . And second , now that I have lived some more , I have lesser time to find that purpose .It is like 5 years back I was "Chill yar . I am only 20 . Only Buddha found a purpose in life at that age." But Now I am like "Umm . I am almost 25 . And I think I will find a bigger meaning in life right after a little nap. "

Sure , I have phases of 'being driven' in my life . Like I wake up and say 'Right . Today I will call the Airtel Customer care people and tell them they should be looting banks in ski masks and not calling themselves a telecom service provider for all the scary things they are doing to my connection'.So little purposes about getting my cell connection up , analysing Gold Flake sales in north kerala , ironing my shirt for the next day and such micro sized things dot my day .But there is nothing which connects all these dots and makes me say " Oh right . Now all the things that seemed stupid and mundane to me make sense".I don't have a purpose which unites all the things I do and drives me and makes me say "Oh yeah , so this is what it was all about". In fact , that's the problem bugging me right now . I don't know what's it all about .Maybe there isn't supposed to be a purpose , a bigger meaning in life . Just live , have fun , eat good chinese food , watch movies , and of course , there is the security guard .

Starting a Sunday with such things which would beat a well with their depth is not a great idea . I can almost imagine Lord Buddha sitting up there on a cloud and shaking his head and telling me "Take it easy kid . It's Sunday after all . You know what that means for a working chap ? So gulp some sandwiches and a hot coffee and flip on FTV and everything will make sense ."

And I want to buy a camera . To live through this place without clicking the beach and all the churches and the typical umbrella-newspaper-lungi keralite would be a sin as big as painting a moustache on Thackerey's wife's face . And I don't have a good knowledge of music . I confuse a flute with a baton and you need a gun to make me sit through a classical music recital . But I like this song called 'Mehfuz' by Euphoria . I have lumps in my throat as big as an ostrich's eggs whenever I listen to its lines . And a couple of days back , I got a call .

Me : Hello

The other guy : ~ Something in malayalam~

Me : Sorry , wrong number .

( If I guy calls me and talks in malayalam , he doesn't know me . Or he really trusts my language picking speed )

The other guy : ~ Some more malayalam ~

Me : Ok . That was interesting . Bye .

( 5 minutes later . The same guy calls up )

T.O.G ( Do I tell you what that stands for ? Get yourself a brain surgeon . It's "The Other Guy" ): ~ Some more malayalam ~

Me : See , yeh wrong number hain . This is a wrong number . Galat . Galat . Wrong . ok ?

T.O.G : ~ Malayalam ~ ( Agitated voice . . I really hope he is not a relative of veerappan )

Me : Ok . The guy you want to talk is wearing a pink scarf and sitting in a big garden and eating cherries . Please don't call . WRONG NUMBER . GALAT ! GALAT !

But the mallu caller hasn't understood this since then . He has called me some seven times over the last two days . So now our conversation goes like this

T.O.G : ~ Malayalam ~

Me : Krissh dekh lee bhai ?

T.O.G : ~Malayalam ~

Me : Zidane to pagal hain .

T.O.G : ~ Malayalam ~

Me : Ha Ha ! Well said .

I don't know why this guy still calls me . He will have to wait till I finish my "Learn malayalam in 30 days " book . It's been almost two months I've been reading it .

All the kids please get up and clap because my breakfast is finally here . And nothing gets in between a hungry munnu and a hot breakfast . So now yours truly will step back into his big bad mallu world . Let's pacify the rats in my tummy now . As for the purpose of life ...umm....pehle kha leta hoon !