Of Indian Government Offices and my love for them

I hate them.I know hate is a bad word.But i really hate them.More than I hated that school bully who used to eat my lunch and sing vulgar songs complete with pelvic gyrations when I was at school.

The targets of my poisonous hate are these bloody "sarkaari" indian government offices or "daftars" which have been serving the public , as they would like us to believe.

Ladies later.Men first.The men behind the rotting files on the shaky tables chew paan with open mouths, smoke cigarettes , drink tea / coffee endlessly , and some even bring in their radios and listen to altaf raja songs at the office. The men are mostly middle aged and have their hair dyed jet black with some locally made dye like " kala jadoo" or “black diamond” or something. They generally have yellow teeth because of their tobacco eating exploits .And mostly commute using shaky scooters or public buses.

They get this delightful gleeful twinkle in their eyes whenever some female walks into the office. Yeah. They are just so frustrated of their equally frustrated wives that any female would do for them . Even the sweepress is good enough for an occasional flirting session. The men of the office jostle to attend to the female while the male visitors are subjected to that “why-don’t-u-die-rite-now “ look and told to wait.

One of the major sources of "job satisfaction" for these lazybums is to harass some educated guy and thus grab the "see-my-power-u-mr.educated ?" category satisfaction.

The women gracing these government offices are more irritating than kareena kapoor in "Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham".These 40-50 year olds blotch their lips with colors as gaudy as daler mehndi's turban's. Their big drooping bellies complete with their stretch marks peep out and they generally tend to have huge waistlines due to the sedentary nature of their jobs , made all the more sedentary due to their own sedentary nature.

The handbag is the integral part of the armory of such women and they like to carry an umbrella to help them protect their imagined fair complexion from the sun. They feel that wearing sleeveless blouses makes them look as irresistible as Julia Roberts , if not more.They have this affinity to improve efficiency by multitasking office work with chores like slicing ladyfinger, potatoes, kheeras and other vegetables.The winters favorite is knitting half sleeved brown sweaters for their grumpy husbands. The “challenges” at the job include proving “my bittoo/raju/pinky/whatever is so smart ...he can dance all those hrithik’s moves ” .

Another feature which marks winter time is the wide availability of oranges and peanuts. And these eatables leave off their legacy in the form of orange skins and peanut shells which can then be found sprinkled liberally all over the office till the gang of sweepers decides to take a break from playing cards and move off their bony asses.

I have developed such a harsh and venomous opinion of these great institutions based on my experiences at my school office ,the bus pass office , the college administrative office , the driving licence office , the colony telephone exchange and the colony electricity department complaint cell to name a few ,triggered off by another of desk hopping sessions at one of these damn offices recently.

I know that some good men and women work at these temples of inefficiency too .I do feel for them .But then forgive my narrow mindedness, I just hate these places.

Whatz MY "success" ?

ive been thinking lately.thinking about the concept of success.Am I on the right track ? will I be a success ? Am I moving towards that stage when I will be called a "successful" man ?

Actually this was sparked about a little discussion that happenned with a friend of mine during the class yesterday.We were flipping through the latest businesstoday edition when we chanced upon the pictures of a classmate of us who recently won the BT acumen debate .congrats to him.

n my friend dint seem to be very impressed while I was like "hey look ! thats our classmate in the snap !" i remarked that this guy wud be a "success" one day.That this guy was better than me ,infact than most of the guys in the class.

So my friend says " how can u say that he is "better" ?n i reply "because the society thinks so-the society rewards him not me, felicitates him not me".

and my buddy retorts-"If u let society define success for u , u wont find ur own success."

wait . isnt there like a common definition of success which has been laid down by society and all of us will be termed successful when we meet the parameters laid down there ? we dont have our own concept of success at all.I want an easy life , but i will be successful if im working my ass off at some I bank in new york.wait,this doessnt make sense.I will be "successful" as per society even though im doing something i dont want to.nah,this is wierd.I wanna spend time with my family , but ill b successful when im at a job where i work day in n day out in a different country.this wont do.kids are working crazy to crack CAT bcos its been told to em that they will be successful only if they get into IIMs.a collective common defintion of success has been fed into their brains.

so whats the way out ? looks like I need my own concept of "success".which will have things which I want.not what the society deems necessary for me to have.yea,this sounds right.we all need our own definitions of success.u may need to crack CAT to be a success , n u may not.it all depends on what "success" is for u.

n yea, a merry christmas to all ! may this season bring ...(all thats printed on those greeting cards ;))

On the Jukebox :"Jab Tum Yaad Aye "- Alka Yagnik

Flashback

i feel like somebody just used a "time catapult" to throw me back in time. all those mock CATS.the analysis.the timing strategies.what makes me more assured about me being a nut is that i had exactly "37" minutes alloted to DI.the ranks.the time AIMCATS.i cant recall my TIME AIMCAT reg number.it was like somethin starting with GR or sometthin which stood for gurgaon.and i liked the receptionist at the TIME centre .yeah,she was sweet.her smile was.The career launcher receptionist wasnt good, she was fat and smudged her lips with thick red lipstick and i dint like the way she looked at my legs.u took that seriously.

And it aint that im in the terminal stages of blood cancer to revel in old memories and feel "thrown back in time".what brought about this cerebral flight is the decleartion of CAT scores some 5 hours back.the same stuff happens again.heartbreaks.celebrations.whoops.sobs.grins.breakdowns.high fives.But the important thing is to decide upon the future.if u want an IIM hard enuf and missed out this time , u deserve a next chance,dont be afraid and give it ur best shot the next year.maybe its easy for me to say that.i dont know.

But if any of you deem me capable of any help regarding CAT and the GD/PI ,dont hesitate to get me on the yahoo messenger at abhi844 or mail me at abhi844@yahoo.com.
But mind you, my devastating ideas have ...well, devastated a lot.

And ive noticed there are a lot of lovely blogs around,i think a lil blogroll revision wont kill anyone.

So if u think that u will like ur blog to be added to my lil list here on the sidebar,please leave a little request comment to this post along with the blog url and send me a thousand dollar cheque and a sexy blonde girl. n I will be glad if u link to my blog from yours.

Ok,lest u start writing the cheque , make it simple,just cut out the cheque and the babe.infact,i was jolted into action to do this by Ravi Handa's blogroll revision.

I think ill watch "love actually" the movie now.3 in the morning is the perfect time to commit such an act.

On the Jukebox : BACK TO UR HEART - Backstreet Boyz

all right , back to work i go

so the "pit stop" is about to end.the fueltanks have been refilled.the tyres have been changed.ive got a new helmet.its anotherlap.another term here at IIM calcutta.the classes start tomorrow for a fresh and glistening term 3.

n the weekend that was a very pleasant one.i slept and ate and watched movies.it was the kinda weekend wen u have the liberty to lose the sense of time.to watch back to back movies.u dont need to shave.or to take a bath.u can get up at 1 in the afternoon and the only troubling question facing u is which is the next movie u gonna watch.

So the movie which brought down the curtains on this lovely weekend was "KAL HO NA HO".i hadnt watched it earlier.its ok,be shocked.and i cried watching it.infact, i cried more than i had watching ne movie.yea, im a 23 year old guy n i cried.n i think that real men do cry.why do they need to keep their feeling bottled up..now dont tell me guys dont feel as sad as girls.i felt sad and i believe my male hormones are working all right.atleast i hope they are.
and as is customary at the start of nething, lemme think what should be my targets this term.the CG thing goes without saying.ill study regularly.yea,u gotta watch this,ill do it,rite from the first day.and ill keep my room cleaner.it looks like a hurricane tore through it rite now.the only things in place are the walls.anything they hold between themselves is so disorganised,including me.yea,that reminds me,i need to organise myself.and i need to think about my future.before deciding wat kinda gal i wanna marry and the no of kids i wanna have,i need to decide upon the more immediate issue-the MBA subjects i wanna specialise in.i came here with an inclination towards marketing but god decided to grant me a summers in finance so am as confused as george bush wud be in an english grammar class.n i need to be more considerate when im talking to my parents.they call me up and im doing this assignment and i kinda rush through the conversation without much attention.i feel guilty doing such things.ill call them up more often and be more nice talking to them.
So thats about it.hope the term turns out to be fun.bcos at the end of the day,thats wat life is
supposed to be , it gotta be fun.atleast mine gotta be .

On the jukebox : EVERYBODY - Backstreet Boys

a lovely day , and im in it

i just love it.the feeling.when the eyes dont feel heavy.the head doesnt feel heavy.when the mind feels as a spring garden .fresh n rosy.the feeling u get seeing a vast countryside field with the windmill and the cows and the cool breeze.thats what happens after 10 hours of non stop sleep.with no deadlines to fear.no assignments to submit.no alarms to shock.when u wake up at 10 in the morning, n dont think -"fuck ! i missed the class again ".instead , u smile knowingly to urself,and pull up the sheets to ur ears.ok, i know im making sleep look as precious as jennifer lopez' bottom.but 6 months at an IIM , n im ready to swap 10 hours of sleep with that.maybe.
n i did see SAW yesterday.

not the "see saw" fought over to sit on by 5 year olds during lunch breaks at the playgrounds.i mean i saw the movie "SAW" yesterday.was a bad decision.the movie wasnt bad.dont crucify me now.but u gotta have a frame of mind to watch a movie.my frame of mind was like - " 5 days of exams n 14 hours of sleep over these 5 days".so i shud have watched a movie that wudnt have demended an ounce of my battered n bruised cerebral contents.mebbe a jim carrey thhing.but i watched SAW.it was a movie which was blood , blown up bodies,shreds of flesh,more blood,psycopaths,guns,and more blood.n i being a person who feels dizzy at the sight of blood in real life ( yeah , thats true, n my parents are doctors) , had to look away from the screen at times.so i gotta watch some bubbly movie now to make up fr this blunder of mine.wait , ill send out a request over the LAN network rite now.yea.done.

n ive been reading blogs.its cool.just looking at the way different people have diferent lives n different ways of thinking.some are grumbling, some are excited,some ae sad,some are funny.iim students.bored housewives.teenage girls.software programmers.CAT aspirants.music freaks.IIT geeks.sometimes it feels a waste of time reading all this but it kinda puts my own life in perspective , just to realise that there are so many people and viewpoints out there, n im just one of them.helps one break free of the "im-the-centre-of-world" viewpoint.
CAT results are gonna be out soon.wish all the aspirants a lot of happiness and luck.it sure fels good when i got that sms from my dad - "C,L,I,K confirmed....CONGRATS munnu".incase u wondering why I recieved the sms directed to this "munnu" guy,thats my nick within my family circle.

guess what ! i just downloded "padosan" from the LAN .the kishore kumar,mehmood riot.now this is gonna be FUN. yea.lemme grab my bag of chips n the coke n the popcorn n turn off the lights now.
tada fr now pals...its showTime !

the "normal life" weekend

the exams are behind me and two days of sleeping+movies+table tennis+music+reading blogs await me.i dont think i did too well or too bad.n neways,due to the end-of-exams euphoria ,nebody wud feel like pretty cool.so lemme feel good.no exam talk.
a lot of guys are leaving for their homes today.n the rest are loading up their comps wid movies n games to chill out over the weekend.we got this message broadcasting tool here on our comps so neone can send out a message to the entire network here.so im seeing a lotta messages rite now which look now - " ne jim carrey movie wid someone";"musafir CD 2 ?";"ne comedy out there ".the girls are asking for "bridget jones diary 2 ". even im downloading SAW now.ive heard its a lil too complicated.n i dint sleep at last night so dont know if its a good idea to test my comprehension skills on this movie.
u know , at times like these ,wen the exams have just got over, u see the real kid in these IIM students.its like someone has pushed up a cage's door and all birds are flying out to freedom.sometimes i feel scared n feel we guys are like machines out there to grab marks and wud kill happily for the grades.but then u see that these are normal kids all right just trying to work hard.so its nice.u feel like ur back to a normal life for this weekend , not an IIM life.
mebbe ill go out tonight.though i know i shud catch up on sleep. but the gangs are planning to move out tonight , so will havta go with the majority.therz some talk about watching "Swades".been a long time since i watched a SRK flick.
one thing i did wrong these exams was trying to study in bed.thot a comfortable body leads to a better frame of mind.but trying not to sleep and study while in bed at 3 in the morning is like turning away ashwarya rai when she wants to kiss u.so it was a kinda sticky position to be in.i think im obsessed with ashwarya rai.but who wudnt.can neone be more delicate,more pristine,more elegant,more pure,more beautiful.shez like the definition of beauty.
im feeling sleepy now.the SAW is almost copied.let me see if i can undertand it right now.or else, ill catch up with ashwarya in my dreams.not bad.

exams ? tell me sumthing new.

here they are.all the 6 of them like dangling targets to be shot down.the end terms for term 2 roll off tommorrow.ive faced so many exams over my education,it no longer excites me.of course , CAT did.n IIT JEE did.the resta have been rather "routine".

n it is the most "global" subject to cut the ribbons.business ethics.its about why we shud not cheat n bribe.so its the kind of subject where one can write a lot of crap.n the professor may just like that.i suspect girls will tend to get higher marks here.in fact , girls do have an advantage here at a b skool.im not debating this.its an accepted fact.the placement figures support that.n its natural.a bank wud prefer a pretty lass over me to meet their old n frustrated clients .in fact, even a not-so-pretty lass wud do.

i just recalled a snippet from the last ethics class:

the professor had orgnised a last class fr the term at 8 in the morning.so the class had a lot of hungry and sleepy souls.the class gets over at 9:30.the professor lets out a contended sigh.he expects that it has beeen a life changing experience for us.n that the sole aim of our lives is to follow "business ethics" on this planet.
so in keeping with the above thoughts , he looks around the class and asks in a deliberate ,slow voice:
"so as students of a premium b skool,what do you plan to do now after studying all this ?"
n one guy replies-" breakfast".

neways,i dont have much to study for this tonight,ive kinda covered the stuff.mebbe ill search fr sum more stuff on the net.but im feeling a lil drowsy after the aloo parantha n veg sandwiches i had half n hour bak.nah, i am not a lazy couch potato to eat all this , i had to eat that since i skipped dinner.

wish me luck pals.

listening to - Oh CArol !

wherez the cold ?

most prolly uve heard this song b4.neways , herz the lyrics:

http://www.icdc.com/~dnice/sunscreen.html

pretty practical and simple things.yet so rarely followed.we guys tend to forget the things dat r the most basic."respect ur elders".heard it a zillion times.simple words.yet so seldom practiced.there r so many intricate n complex stuff in life dat these lil basics of life have been pushed to some dark corner of the brain attic.

air tickets have been booked fr the 5th of jan.im coming home again fr 5 days.that will be great.winters are good at gurgaon.sitting in the warm sunlight.munching on peanuts.sucking on orange slices.the morning cold which makes the ears go red.n the nose too.wearing woolen socks.the mufflers.the room heaters.the blinding fog.the frost on the windshields i stratch shapes in.those heavy quilts.how the mood lifts wen the sun comes out.thats real winter.n thats good.im missing the north indian winter.winter here is letdown to the concept of winters.its hardly cold.infact,its kinda warm.this is no winter.i really miss feeling cold.therez nuthin better than reading comics wrapped cozily in a quilt.

oh, i wanna be home now.hey "5th of Jan",cant u come around in december this time around ?

cant slow down !

man , that was the precise feeling to depict the day i had .slept at 6 in the morning as i was wurkin on that report abt the telecom sector. dragged myself out of bed at 8:30.grabbed breakfast and got to the cost accounting class at 9.45. decided to complete the report by bunking the next class.an hour into the class , i get a call frm the guy supposed to sign for me sayin there were too few people in the class to safely do so. With my attendance already being on the brink , i am forced to play the brat who walks in the class more than an hour late ! n guess wat,the subject was "ethics".the prof turned out to be an angel and ignored this.god bless him.tried to pick up some cost accounting in that class .had a quiz at 5.30 in the evening , u see. but the angelic prof decided to bring in a lil of satan and forgot the concept of time while teaching.that left me with just half an hour for lunch.that included the trip to the hostel n back.n suddenly i remember the telecom report.worked upon it during the break n dint bother my digestive system.rushed to the next class.was relatively cool.i dozed a lil sitting at the back.zoom to the end of class.got to my room n wrapped the report.emailed it.grabbed my calculator and rushed to the quiz hall. tried to get something over the next half n hour. trudged back to my room.took a bath,had dinner and grappling with accounting numericals since then.

i feel i need to get a grip on my life.been kinda drifting of late.like my engineering days.im still not clear abt the specialisation i wanna go in.u know , CAT is said to be the tuffest exam around n with so many guys working their asses off to crack it, i feel lucky to be here at IIM . n not doing my best here makes me feel kinda guilty .So thinz will be changing a lil now.i need to get a grip on my life .yea.

About the heartbreak, i feel fine now .mebbe it was just infatuation.but tnx fr the consolations.i think ill do just fine without a gal around fr sum time to come :)

end of it

hi.i need to write this down.i need to get this outta my system .I need to move on.This is too personal a thing but then i wont get killed for letting it out here.The girl whoz been in the mention over the last coupla posts has pushed me off the cliff of my dreams.events over the last 2 days caused an almost direct offer(the placement lingo wont leave me ?) from my side and she rejected me.straight.atleast thats the good part.no dilly dallying. im not her type.shez not my type.and now i feel so stupid doing such a thing when my parents have sent me here to study.im sorry folx.thank god it got over.ive been popular and cool with the gang of guys and now plan to have it for the resta of my time here at IIM C.people who know me would find this post wierd.tell u wat, it was wierd.but im not drinking or searching for poison or planning to lie on the rail tracks tonite ! sorry devdas , but im not a believer in ur philosophy.end of chapter.life, here i come.

stats and glitches

the wonders of technology again caught up with me with the comments section of blog throwing up some tantrums.and being a computer engineer who freezes at the mention of ne word containing even sounding like coding , i dint wanna mess around with the html codes the blogspot guys wanted me to do.so i chose the "no tension" option of pulling up an entirely different template. and thanx to rohit for pointing out the snag.

the site provides me the hit counter also provides a list of the terms which have led unsuspecting and innocent souls to stumble upon my blog.here it is:

iim
placement
quark
pagalguy
csc
abhinav
calcutta
papers
http://www.businessworldindia.com/sep0604/coverstory01.a
wipro
summers
cat
neha
kalra
funda
prerna

wat else, the damn exams will be here in nother 10 days. im downloading the movie "garfield " from the LAN as i type this.i plan to study riskman tonite.mebbe will catch the movie during the short breaks i plan to have.i swear,will keep em short!;).

song-"It wasn't me -SHAGGY"