Touching memories

Blogging is like making an STD call . Both the things are easier to do at night. While lower calling rates bag it for the STD calls , a more silent and peaceful boys hostel makes blogging better at night.

Anyways , I am back from watching a show of "Zinda" at the INOX . If there are two things good for my heart , they are saffola cooking oil and hindi movies . These movies don't trouble my heart with unsuspected twists and unexpected endings. The rape scenes are invariably interrupted by the hero who comes crashing in through some expensive glass door. Honest school teachers are usually killed by the bad guy while the teacher's kid hides behind a flower pot and takes a colored mental photograph of the killer for future revenge . The good guy grabs decent airtime between being shot and being dead , which he utilises well by stopping people from calling the ambulance and telling everyone around to take care of each other after he is dead .

Of course , I have seen some movies challenge the norms , a notable example being "Saiyan Magan Pahelwani Mein" ( My guy is busy wrestling ) , which is in fact a bhojpuri movie , which I was made to watch on gunpoint by masked men who remain unidentified till date. So when I saw Lara Dutta as a Cab Driver in the flick "Zinda" , it was another 'awe and wonder' kodak moment for me . The rest of the movie was kinda drab , with Sunjay Dutt looking like in urgent need of a barber , clean bath and fresh collection of santa banta jokes to change his 'depressed-cant smile-wont comb my hair' mood in the movie . But a slim and pretty Lara Dutta as a cab driver was something unexpected for me , which made me view my hairy and creepy cab driver on the way back with a deep sense of dissatisfaction.

Speaking of the taxi ride , we were six IIM students and one non IIM driver stuffed in a cab , and as is the rule within Indian jurisdiction , I was making around 93% of the noise . 3% is attributed to a running car engine and occasional honking . 4% was coming from guys threatening me with touching statements like and "Do you always giggle without reason?" and "Move away man , give me some space."

In an twist of fate completely unrelated to the unfounded allegations about cramped space leading to inappropriate touching , our topic of conversation veered onto gays . Ok , confession time. Unintentionally , I drove the conversation right into it . In most situations , one of my primary aims is to have harmless , export quality fun . The guy sitting next to me in the cab was a bengali lad who is more interested in the stock market than a fire extinguisher even when his pants are on fire , keeps steel and sugar prices pasted on his desktop , and rebukes me with a nice little 'dhatt' when I ask him about girls . Smirking gleefully at his being trapped in a running car with me , I grabbed his shoulder , squeezed it softly and asked in a delicious throaty voice "Hey buddy , have you ever seen a gay , before me that is... " and squeezed his shoulder again followed with a crooked smirk. I expected him to shriek and lunge towards the nearest car window . And it was like I had found a beady eyed frog floating in my steaming bowl of tomato soup when he looked at me , lowered his eyes and utterred 'yeah , once'. He went on to tell us about some gay guy who had made a pass to him on a late night in bangalore. Which sent me sliding back to the flashback when I met a gay man.

I was in my engineering college then and was walking down a street after getting off a bus . A 40 something man , riding a green scooter passed me , slowed down and asked if I wanted a lift . Feeling glad that such people still exist in the northern hemisphere , I happily nodded and jumped onto the pillion. I had heard about hitchhikers being robbed or molested , but that stuff happened in cars with tinted glasses . I dint really see him robbing a college bag with a battered notebook and a leaking pen inside , and dint really see that happening on a green old scooter which had no windows , tinted or otherwise .

He started off with some sweet talk , asking me about my college and engineering , which made me a little uncomfortable as I feared he may ask about my marks next , which were so low that I needed a submarine too find them . But my "How uncomfortable are you?" measurement device blew up when he actually took a hand off the handle and placed it on my thigh in such a way , I knew this was "When Harry met Harry" happening with me . I immediately asked him to stop and got off . The freak threw a 'please come again' smirk at me as I hurried away.

If you think I am making it up for some reason, it's fine , I don't think a certificate saying anything like "It is hereby certified that Mr.Abhinav has been molested according to prescribed techniques by Mr.Freak on a green scooter" , will add much value to my CV.

Coming back to the safer cab ride , for next half an hour , it was a soulful confession class for six IIM guys who went about telling about the gay men some of them had come upon . It was discovered that three of us had actually felt a gay thing being done to us . One of us used it to claim that he was actually a cute guy and hence considered suitable enough for this noble attempt by some creep . Defying my penchant for stupidity , I was not the one to claim this . Fearing he may feel left out and hike up the fare meter in anger , I almost asked the driver if he wanted to share any victimised memories about gay guys , but my pals had this sudden flash of an angry driver thrashing me on a crowded calcutta street and suggested otherwise .

Anyways , it's almost six in the morning now and I got classes in six hours from now , so I need to hit the scooter..err , sack now . I don't wake up in a cold sweat yelling "stop the scooter" and I don't turn into a "green scooter owner" killer at 2 am every night , but it did scare me . And it makes me feel how tough it must be for girls with eve teasers as common as stray dogs . I really feel I should have kicked that scooter guy that day , instead of sneaking away . But I hope to find him someday. So if you got a green scooter , you better paint it some other color.