Sunday, January 01, 2006

Zooming into 2006 . With the FOMH.

Date - Dec 31 , 2005 .

Scene 1 - My room
Time - Around 6 pm.

The Fly over my head ( FOMH ) - *sniff sniff* What's this smell ?

Me - Call it fragrance , idiot. Smell is this ! *forcing my smelly socks on FOMH face*

FOMH - Whatever ! your so called 'fragrance' seems like that of a dead dog pizza cooked in some armpit sweat ! yucks !

Me - You won't understand. It's Axe . I am going out with my pals . The Axe affect is supposed to attract girls . Some pretty big eyed bengali lass is gonna sniff my deo and yell 'marry me' tonight .

FOMH - I have been seeing that deo spray in your room for a month now . But I have never seen you with anything resembling a girl .

Me - Ahem..Sorry . I can't hear you .

Scene 2 - A taxi
Time - Around 7 pm

FOMH - Why did you just yell !! Is the driver next to you trying to touch your thighs while changing gears ? I know that happens. You can tell me .We can get you justice !

Me - Damn you fly ! We are singing ! We guys are in a fun mood . So we are singing along "Deedaar De" playing on the cab radio .

FOMH - Damn you human ! This sounds like the howling of itchy stray dogs who are being carried away in the municipal dog control van .

Me ( yelling at the top of my voice ) - aa saamne aur tham le teri aamanat yaar main deedar de deedar de deedar de deedar le * sticking out my tongue at FOMH *

Scene 3 - INOX multiplex , Kolkata
Time - Around 9 pm

FOMH - Man , this place is good . Look at the crowd ! I wish I was a human.

Me *smirk* - You are not .So you gotta hang out with some tentacled little hairy housefly.HaHa.

FOMH - Looks like distilled water was in that AXE spray of yours. The girls aint exactly falling in your arms , eh ?

Me - You see that curly haired girl in yellow standing there ? She just talked to me.

FMOH - She asked you the time .

Me - So ? That is a start .

Scene 4 - Food Court , INOX multiplex, Kolkata
Time - Around 9.30 pm

FMOH - Hey loser , order a veg pizza for me .A coke maybe. That will be all. Make it fast.

Me - Oh Oh Oh , you see that orange trashbin near the pillar ? It's got the goodies for you .Go treat yourself over the leftovers ! Haha.

FMOH *gasps* - What is that thing next to you ??

Do I look hungry ?

Me - Well , ahem...thats my friend , Manish.He eats at the mess , new boys hostel , IIM C .So he may look a little excited about getting worm-less and hair-less and tasty food. *nudging manish* Abbe stop panting , act like a human . Stop panting over the food and eat it. We need to get back to campus before the party begins .

Scene 5 - Old Hostel compound , IIM C
Time - Around 1 am

FMOH - Eeeeeks !! Someone help this little guy under me !! Quick !

Me - *drenched in sweat* Huh ? What ? I am fine !

FMOH - But you are shaking violently ! NO NO NO , just lie down ! I will get help ! Don't worry ! I won't leave you here ! I will be back honey ! You are not gonna die !

Me - Bah ! Are you the miss.idiot of your fly-land ? I am just dancing ! Rock it !! Don't you listen to the blaring music here .Feel the angrezi music take you over , kid !

FOMH - Angrezi music ? But if your physical movements are to be classified under a dance form , it will be some violent version of bhangra .

Me - Who cares ! Oye Hoye ! Harrippaa !! * charges towards a fellow dancer , accompanied by radically dangerous pelvic movements *

Scene 6 - Old Hostel compound , IIM C
Time - Around 3 am

FMOH - Come on , enough of your stupidity . Now stop dancing vulgarly with your pals here and get back to the room . Be a good boy. Let's go back now. I need some sleep. Am going on a date with 'Joe-the-moth' , my new boyfriend tommorrow. I am so glad I found Joe after that 'son of a butterfly' Jimmy dumped me .

Me * rolling eyes* - Man ! Now that some desi punjabi tracks are coming on , you want to go back because of some 2 inch moth . That is why I hate this girlfriend-boyfriend thing !

scene 7 - My room.
Time - Now . Jan 1 , 2006 .

I feel as tired as a mother of seven hyperactive kids after all that dancing.( yeah that was dancing , FMOH is just too stupid to appreciate good moves). So I think I will sleep now . The food and the party was a great way to start my year. Hope you have a real classy 2006. FMOH is asleep now. Must be dreaming of her date with Joe tomorrow. Women !


Shekhar said...

Wow! What an awesome way to begin my new year, I get to be the first one to comment on your post.

Ha ha. Awesome post. Had really loved the 'adventure with the toothbrush' bit, but this one too is awesome.

Don't take FMOH's comments too seriously. Me sure some pretty big-eyed bengali lass must have at least looked at you and shrieked in her mind "arre shonaaaaa...cho chweet". Give her some time, she'll surely find a way to get back to you.


ss said...

hey man...awesome post...happy new year to you and FOMH from my side..

Anat said...

Happy naya saal mubarak hone ki dher saari shubhkamnaye abhinav!

Ashish Gupta said...

wow! nice start ... between was that simply eating or eating & drinking :-?

wish u great year too, happy moments all along... and tons of luk n love :)

sunshine said...

Women? Why did you have to end with women? I thought you wanted to start your new year with women.

"FOMH - I have been seeing that deo spray in your room for a month now . But I have never seen you with anything resembling a girl."- really? I myself spotted you with a very cute gal not long time back. Anywayz, after all those stunts you pulled yesterday, sunshine wishes you a warm and a HAPPY NEW YEAR. Hope that'd be a great way to start your mornings.

Bhim said...

Hehe.. Happy New Year to FMOH. And wish you all the luck with the fairer sex.

Demi Goddezz said...

happy new year:)

arpz said...

did the fly get her date the next day?

lotus dew said...

wish u a happy new year!!

Fursat said...

so..abhi ne bahut masti ki..but ur dance seem to be really violent as you described.

wishing you great new year with all the luck and lovely things in life everything you wish !

Happy New YEar !!!!!

God bless u !

Suds said...

Happy New year... Seems u enjoyed a lot hopefully u will enjoy 2006 too... Enjoy...

divya said...

happy new year buddy.... so u had a great time while i was trying to generate object codes from some stupid assembly lang programs, i`m jealous. let the year ahead bring u lots of happiness. lucy to fomh-changing loyalties from one (beautiful??)housefly to another ... and u end the post with "women!" when it should have been "huh men!!"

myths said...

HaHAHaHAHaHAHa...that was funny. GOod one to start the year with... Happy new year to u and anf Joe-moth..heehee.. hic! xcuse me..

myths said...

btw.. what happened to ur jughead avatar????

virdi said...

happy new year...

pandora said...

haha..oye hoye!! harrippaa!
So much masti?!? All rite... all rite.I had it too :D
kitni baar wish karoon!! Happy new year ^100000000000000000......n :P

//Some pretty big eyed bengali lass is gonna sniff my deo and yell 'marry me' tonight .

lots of luck 'IN' love :P

dotty_pixie said...

happy new year!
laugh your way through it!:)

!xobile said...

Must be dreaming of her date with Joe tomorrow. Women

Abe anpad! women nahi!

Mast hai yaar.. ash around while I ash around too!!!!

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Hmm... so the net result of all that shake-the-baady is that you are now back to 'Abhinav' from 'Jughead'?

Good... happy new year! :)

Jaggu said...

Dude..Dude...Dude!!U rock nd no exagerration here watsoever...heres y
I was draggin myself to office this monday morn wid the proverbial 'blues' evident on my face...wat if its the first monday of the year.....all mondays r bluesome(; nd chanced upon ur blog the first thing......the way u narrated ur date with 2006 using the innovative FOMH concept had been rib-tickling for a while.....Its not wat u did that day but the way u described wat u did was fantastic....lets face it ...9 out 10 ppl would have njoyed nd rang in the new year the way u did(parties..booze sans the chicks ofcourse)but am dead sure hardly 1 out of 10 will be able to narrate it as well as u did ( am again in the 9-some category out here!!)....... nd wats simply amzin is that u actually take 'pains' to reply to each one of the comments to ur posts( now given ur IIM Backgrnd nd ur literary skills sure take tons of humility nd sensitivity to do that...kudos!!) ....... dude..if ever in the future u contemplate to take ur writing skills to to the ultimate level plan to write a book( which i feel u slhd definitely do..) nd r in need of a publishing sponsor( not that u will be ... lets keep the need part hypotheical for a sec..) nd if i have the slightest capacity to help ya i will be honoured to publish the works a great humble humourous mind...the epithets attached to ur mind have been curtailed on account of lack of time ..(; ).....Heres raising a toast to the next CHETAN BHAGAT from his first OFFICIAL FAN.....U R A ROCKSTAR nd once again no exagerration watsoever....

FOOTNOTE: BESTOW ME WID THE HONOR OF ADDING THY NAME IN MY YAHOO MESSENGER ..... the vice-versa part is left to ur kind nd noble discretion.....!!!chow

Abhi said...

@shekhar- and now may we call upon the stage , mr.shekar ruparelia , the winner of 'earliest bird - 2006' ! mr.early bird , please fly down to the stage.

And thanks for the hope raising words bhai.but how much time does she want to find me , 24 saal ka ho gaya , meri bangaali raani kab ayegi tu , beeti jaaye zindagaani kabb ayegi tu...kaash to ek big eyed pretty bengali kana hota to kitna asaan ho jata sab kuch.have a great year and ash kar !

@ss - same to you bro :) illl convey ur wishes to FOMH , as soon as shes back frm her romp with that joe guy.

@anat - tujhe bhee bhai !tu khul ke ash kar , movies dekkh , marks la , tension ko door rakh and life ko track pe rakh.

@ashu - hai raam , yeh sunne se pehle main ganga maiyya ki god mein kya na sama gaya ! durachaari , vyapaari , ram dulaari , i am a teetotaller brahmachaari.I DONT DRINK .mommy , are u listening ? my best wishes to u n ur family and ur loved ones .:)

@sunshine - oh my , you found her cute ?? u sure need to straighten out ur concept of 'cute' :p .ummm , wiase on second thots...ummm...kinda...u know...i dont know...she was...cute...:p

have a great year buddy .hope u keep spreading the smiles , but more importantly , keep smiling urself.

@bhim - same to you buddy ! n i suppose u dnt need much luck with the fairer sex.:)

@demi goddezz - ueee ma , now thats one modest name :p .have a great year goddezz !:)

@arpz - wow wow wow , now im gonna paint the town red - arpz dint put down her copyright trademark - the infamous ':)' ! abbe arpz , makkhi ki poochtee hain , happy new year mere mamaji bolenge ? happy new year buddy !:)

@kamal_dew - you too have a fun year buddy ! where u be HAPPY and love it:)

@neetie - terese to fone pe baat karrta hun , teri ( kadak ? )awaaz jo sunni hain mujhe ! he he , kiddin chuhiya devi , aapko bhi bhagwan ki bless karein :)

@suds - my best wishes to you and swati didi.hope ur surgeries go off fine.have a great year.:)

@divs - oh mah poor child , you were stuck with all those codes on new year eve ? what was that idiot and uncaring hardayal doing ? chasing smugglers on the big day too ?divs , i guesss thaats the price u pay fr being with a angry young and deshbhakt commando sardar :p.

may u have a lovely year divs.where u get into some IIM , and ur bro allows u more time to use the PC and u have all the more sweet days at pizza hut after ur tutorials ;).

@myths - have a classy year mate.and dont u try to drive in this state of urs.:p

@virdi - oye virdi praaji , glad to see u here , happy naya year , tussi ash maaro and harr tension ke muh pe bolo 'what the duck ' :)

@paanduraaam hawaldaaar - sorry yaar , tune kitne naaz se naam pandora rakha tha , and maine naa hee uska paandu bana diya , but usse hawaldaar ki naukri bhi de deeee :p.but u wont mind na , my little sis ?:) ps - I am not that 'pranky' kid ! smriti jee , sacchi ! :)

@nivindiya - you too buddy .i sure will ! life is not serious enuf a thing to make me sad !

@mani - saale makkhiyan case karr degi tujhpe .makkhi aurat nahi hoti kya ? unhe women kehlaane ka hakk nahi kya ? have a buzzing year darlin :)

@sudipta - u too hve a nice year bhai.yup naache naachte roop jughead se abhi bana diya iss zaalim zamaane ne.

@jaggu - man man man !!! just stop right there :)this comment looks like ive written it for self glorification...

jaggu bhai , ive added u to my list and thats my pleasure , its fun to meet new people and know stuff .but bhai , am just another guy , strong in some aspects and weak in most .

maybe writing strange stuff is a thing i do kinda decently write now , but this stuff keeps changing as always .maybe i wont write the same kinda stuff after three months and people will read it and say "shucks , this dude is goin down.he is not writing the same cool stuff".

i mean , the purpose of my typing down stuff here is not to generate any appreciation or applause here , coz i know its a very fickle thing , n goes poof the moment i make a 'not-upto-the-mark' post , which is bound to happen as im a human too.

so the very purpose of this blog is fr me to have some fun writing stuff i like and get to know fine people like u !:).so plzz , dnt be admirer , coz admirers are only as long i seem good .be a friend , coz friends stay , even if i write bad . so u r my friend man !:)

!xobile said...

'darlin' ??????????????????????????????????????????

abe kamine! apni gandi neeyat mere upar na daal! abe koi aur prey dhoondh

Jaggu said...

arre bhai...if u thgt that my last comment was a little too sugar-coated for ur comfort ..will try to be economical in ur praise next time....the bottomline is that ive been readin some blogs lately nd find ur sense of metaphorical humour top-notch....and abt all this admirers dont-last-forever thingy.....wel ek cricket analogy deneki gusthaki karna chahtha hoon...they say" form is temporary..class is permanent"..well they also say " ur as gud as ur last innings" but lets just override this 'axiom' by another example...lets assume that the law of averages does catch up wid u....u have an off-day nd ur post aint quite as top-of-d-rung as it generally is.....but just like the DON had a duck in his last innings nd mite have had a cuppa more in his career.....ppl still remember him for his 99-ish batting even if u have a cuppa not-so-brilliant-posts....the average standard of ur posts would still b ala bradmanesque...!!
chota mooh badee baat sirji.....
did u say friends....i say FRIENDS(caps ke saath)....Alas only if i could covert the FRIENDS font to Bold..Underlined nd size it up to 100 !!
rock karo !!

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pandora said...





howzzat?? :P

Ashish Gupta said...

arre itta kahe chilla rahe ho yaar.... sometimes thodi thodi acchi lagti hai! esp. if its sweet, esp. something red, esp. if it comes with dinner, esp. if the dinner is in at some exotic 5-star, esp. it is shared with close frnds, esp. if I don't get out!

arre bhaiyye there is a HUGE difference between drinking and getting drunk. I prefer the first that too only a few times a year!

PS: itta to meri didi,gf,mummy bhi nahi halla nahi karti hai :P

Ashish Gupta said...

... RED ...

PS: just a song. nothing abt. her!

Vidhi said...

oye abhi! happy new year!! :)

Zarine said...

Rejoice dude...for Rashmi Bansal (yeh,the great lady herself!) quotes u in her blog ;)

What a rocking start ;)

sona said...

hey abhinav
Happy New yr...hwz life...cant see my name in blog frends...write it bck..m cumg...:)

Prayank said...

Hi Abhinav

Happy New Year .... nice post ... gud to see that u enjoyed the party .. i thut i (the DJ) had ruined the party that night ...

Shruthi said...

Cool post! :)
Enjoyed it thoroughly.

madmita said...

i have a feeling that this year is gonna be one helluva year!
Wishes to all!

Shriedhar said...

hey,that's wot rocking-abhinav :)
me 2 njyed a lot.

Anonymous said...

Kasam Maa bhawani kii maja aagaya ;) keep posting :)


Anonymous said...

hey i jus needed to know frm which site do u download movies?

atul lakhotia said...

hey man...hilarious post...happy new year to you and FOMH from my side..

btw hw was FOMH's date wid Joe??

arundhoti said...

Read up all ur posts...and i wud lov to meet that 3 yr old kid who writes better than u do when she is drunk!...Have a great year ahead!!!

smriti said...

haan pitaji main jaanti hoon ki woh pranky kid aap nahi just chill!!

aur ye kya neha ko panduram hawaldar bana diya.....ek IItian hawaldar...wah kya zamana hai!!

I feel as tired as a mother of seven hyperactive planning ke zamane me seven hyperactive kids ????

smriti said...

achha chalo uss pranky kid ne ek bhala kaam toh kiya....u started spelling my name correct :P

Neha said...

Most Hilarious post!

Happy New Year!!

Neha said...

Oh yes! I am from NSIT,Computer Engineering Batch 2005..Now in Flextronics Software Systems..
U are frm which engg. coll?


bidu .. post to nice tha... baki.. aisa hia mai ka laal.. ki naya post bhi maar do... chalo tata...

take care'va
chotu sis

USK said...

abhi bhai
Wish u a very happy new year. hope u give us more n more funny posts. wish ur senti posts are like the ones they have always been.
//some new year wishes;)//

Shekhar said...

Hey dude, thanks for including my blog on your frequented blogs list.

Cheers (well timed, ain't it?) and enjoy.


pandora said...

abey naya post daal...2 days ka warrant hai..else u r under arrest!!

panduraam hawaldaar

le maari naa tune apne pairo par axe :P

@ smriti
//IITian hawaldaar
screw gir gaya hai kya tera!

incredulous said...

Wow!That sounds like some fun i envy both u and the FOMH( i only have cockraoaches and mice in my room)

Happy new yr

Viveka said...

thts 1 cute post...i luved FOMH...v cute character!

Planck said...

You dont fail to amuse.. do you?
love your posts!

Best wishes for 2006!

smriti said...

ek toh naya post nahi :((

upar se comments parr bhi no reply:((

Ms. V said...

Too damn good.

Abhi said...

@mani - come on man , india mein sab chalta hain , lets meet sweetheart :p

@jaggu -hey bro , hanks for adding me to your yahoo list , hope to grab u online some day !

@christ - sure thing man ! ur blog looks interesting ! am hitting it in three minutes.

@pandu - howzzat ?? main umpire hun ?? not out :p

@ashu - chup natkhat ! ek to daaru peeta hai , upar se batata hu hain mere jaise buzurgo ko ! :p

@vidhi - oye vidhi !! heppy naya saal !! where have you vanished re ?? needs you ! your readers need you !

@zarine - yeah zar , saw that.tera ankle kaisa hain ? hows that auto driver ?

@sona - my my my ! tu kaunse planet pe ghoomne gayi thi !! welcome back !! :).

@prayank - oh no bro ! u rocked ! the party rocked ! i rocked the most ! ;)

@shruti - its cool u had a good time reading it ! :).really liked the nikhil story on your blog.

@madmita - whoa ! pretty strong feelings ! you too have a great mind blowing year ! thats not a feeling , just a wish ! :)

@shreedhar - thats just the beginning buddy.u shall enjoy 2006 right thru the year :)

@neo - kasam durga kee , jab takk mood karega , likhunga.uske baad , kee farak penda hain bhai ? :) happy new year.

@anon - i dont.we got em on the lan here.happy new year to bol deta ! :)

@atul - same to you man ! i believe u r amit's bhai .i was at nsit too.:).and about the date , respect a fly girl's privacy dude ! :)

@arundhoti -you too have a jazzy year ! dnt put ur head down , wake up and blast those iim interviews !!:)

@smriti - yaar terese baat karrte hue darr lagta hai abb.pata laga saans bhee lun to tujhe koi prank laga :p.jushhht kidding !and neha iitian hawaldar ?? yeh kaisa golden rehasya hain ?

@neha - same to ye !nsit ki jai ho !

@nidz - karr diya !! aankhen khol and dekh !! xat kaisa hua ?

@usk - happy new year brether !cant assure about you about the silly posts , but can assure that you are going to have a nice year ! :)

@shekhar - arrree , thanks kaisa bhai ? i like it , i link it .simple.neat.:)

@pandu - abbe oye , tumhaare commisioner ke yahan roz ka aana jaana hai ! dun kya usse miss call :p

@incredulous - oh come on buddy , cockroaches are insaan too :P

@viveka - shucks man ! now people find a housefly cute over me ! ;)

@sneha - too you sneha jee ! have a memorable perfumed sunny 2006 .:)

@smriti - i am scared of you !!:p jusssht kidding ! bola na !

@ms.v - hey vids , how have you been ?? wishing you a sweet 2006 :)

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awesome post!

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