Friday, February 10, 2006

Of orange shorts , pav bhaaji and V day plans

I am starting this post because I don't feel sleepy . I will just type out stuff about my evening. I hope to fall asleep on the keyboard doing it . I hope you too fall asleep reading it . Make sure you don't drool in your sleep . The saliva may screw up your keyboard.

This evening , N came to my room . He had to go shopping for some clothes . He asked me to accompany him . I think he asked me because I am short . It's a simple relative theory . A guy is
alone . He looks ok . A guy is with a short guy . He looks tall . I refused N and told him I had to work on an assignment of top priority. He promised to pay for my pizza if I went with him . It took me seven seconds to get ready.

So we went to crossword . It's a nice bright bookstore with a lot of books . Middle aged women in khadi kurtas sit around on low stools and pore over books discussing ways to rekindle the fire in married lives . Little kids noisily run around book racks and their mothers threaten to burn their toys if they don't shut up . Young girls are around the fiction racks . I think most people found in a bookstore are fat . Maybe it's because they spend a lot of time sitting and reading books on weight reduction . I picked up 'Tuesdays with Morrie' and went to the billing counter .

The billing girl at the counter looked at the big flaming red ferrari logo on the front of my black sweatshirt and gave me a smile . I think she liked my sober taste in clothes . And as I went away , she again smiled at me . I could feel it . It wasn't the 'please visit again' smile every customer gets . I think she liked me in a cute way . If you work at Crossword next to INOX kolkata and met that short cute guy in the black sweatshirt with a red ferrari logo , just know that I still think about you.

We got out and we went into a reebok store . N kept checking out the price tags of all the stuff there . He made a peculiar whooshing sound with his breath every time he did that . I think it translates into 'Why dont I have a rich dad who is into smuggling ?' . I did not have to buy anything . So I was pretty relaxed and tried on all the caps while he went around looking for something which had the price of a matchbox . He bought a pair of orange shorts finally . Reebok people don't have the right marketing guys . It is a blunder to have that dark bengali guy at the billing counter . I felt a strange creepy chill the way he smiled at me . I know short cute guys are the prime targets for these kinda men. I will never go to that store again.

Then we went to food court to eat something . Never trust anyone . Just do not . People promise to pay for your pizza and back out then . And you can't do a thing because they have already bought the obscenely orange shorts and got your company while doing it . It is a hard world . And then you realise you it is harder . I was not even carrying much money and had to settle for pav bhaji . I wanted to empty the ketchup sachet in N's nose . But a short cute guy can't just fill someone's nostrils with ketchup and not be beaten thereafter . I controlled my anger.

On our way back in the cab , N's girlfriend called up . I screamed 'Don't touch me N !' followed by 'Leave me N !' in the most girly voice I can put on . He spent the rest of the call explaining to his girlfriend there was no girl around him . You don't give me a pizza . I tear apart your love life .Fair and simple.

It's past five in the morning now . But I still dont feel sleepy. I think I will start reading 'Tuesdays with Morrie' now . The book reminds me of the billing counter girl . I think I should visit crossword on the 14th .

56 comments:

Anonymous said...

lori sunaun kya??

Kaala Kavva said...

Oye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mai to 2ND HU!!!!

yahooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

chop chop chop!

Phoenix said...

i woke up this mornign for a half an hour lecture on nothing by a stupid prof and i feel so angry with myself because my next class is at one, and then i read ur blog now. and i realise
--> i'm nt the only one who's silly.
-->i shdnt sleep because i might drool on the keyboard.
-->i'd rather not go down on pizza promises:P

Anonymous said...

really good post.
would u accompany me whn i go for shopping?..i promise you two pizzas and an ice-cream too.
i too m visiting crossword on 14th, do wear ur black ferrari sweatshirt that day....:)

Anonymous said...

i do keep my promises....i swear.

Anonymous said...

Incidentally, Feb 14th is a Tuesday!
That makes it "Tuesday with Porrie" .. Hehe

Fursat said...

yeah visit that place on 14 :)

NO EXPECTATIONS !!!!!

I will start chanting this very soon :)

nice post :D

Naina said...

oieee

a. moderation of comments : done away with

b. just forgot what else i wanted to say

c. just remembered -tuesdays with morrie is good, dont read the other one about people u meet in heaven by same author...

Shriedhar said...

I think the shop owner of crossword shd be very happy as he could execute his business plan successfully ;)

i think that counter gal wud get her first apraisal this month :)

Anonymous said...

oye teri washerwoman suicide karr legi agar usne padh liya tht u arent taking her out on 14th :p *internal guffawing*

~neo~

The Bhandari's said...

:)

arpana said...

:|

Anu Sharma said...

kahin aisa to nahi kee us counter gal ko apne ferrari wale boy briend ki yaad aa gayee ho tumharee paseene wali shirt dekh ke ...first try to check it out den dare to proceed...n be hoshiyaar khabardaar moochdaar !!

Anonymous said...

ahem..
i dnt knw what to say but i will say this..orange shorts must be a great investment..but they possibly mite look better on u.
u mite just become a short much cuter guys..
:D

SonnyBoy said...

haha bitch!! u are at ur best again!!
Waah waah so u seem to be gettin attention from ALL quarters!!! way to go!!

LovingAndLosing said...

You don't give me a pizza . I tear apart your love life .Fair and simple.

The wisest words I have EVER heard! :D *bowing down to you*

Anonymous said...

Ladies and not so gentle men, you can expect to find another celebrity blogger (sunshine with all her modesty) at crosswords on the 14th eve. I did have other plans, but now that munnu declares it, I have to be at crosswords, not just to meet munnu, but to kick that girl out. C ya on the 14th munnu.

And thanx for letting me know about our 14th rendezvous in so subtle a manner.

Suds said...

Hey Short cute guy it is a nice post. Best of luck for ur 14th plans...

Nidhi said...

awww... !!!! &^#*&%$*#$(! kahi ka hain N ..

huh ! ...

and about 14th.. abbey khadoos .. mujhe bola ki agar BF dundha to chamri udheed k baseball cap banayega .. and kudh t dekho apne rangeen khwaabo ko..

e for ediot !!!

accha hua tujhe pav bhaji mili...
pizza gande baccho ko nahi milta..

khadoooos !! sare bhai same hote hian !!

Anonymous said...

vaise now that u have screwed up N's love life, u can also try ur luck on his now ex-gal!! (haha!)agar us crossword waali se baat nahi bani toh

Kaps said...

kya baat hai bhai..lagta hai resume ban gaya hai..roz ek post :)
aur dude..i need N's girlfren's fone number..she will need me in these tought times :D

yeah ok..ok.u get a pizza

Kaala Kavva said...

arre shit! i forgot 2 say!
mast post kalia!

and best of luck with that girl...may u 2 live happily ever after.. aur haan fir se woh shirt na pehena.. usse lagega tere paas ek hee shirt hai..

me said...

hey plz post pic of ur tee here on ur blog.......hehehe.
n i guess u r quite gud at taking revenge.....I screamed 'Don't touch me N !' followed by 'Leave me N !' in the most girly voice I can put on....tht was a gud one.
keep up ur gud work:)

Suds said...

Are Short sweet guy did I tell u I am going to Redmond on 14th for 4 days have meetings with MS guys...:) Billo ko chapat wapat lagani hai to bolde...(Nahi re me not meeting him re.. Lekin kya pata tera naam bataya toh shayad milne ko dede..)...:):) Enjoy..

Sayesha said...

Hahaha! Can totally identify with that! Once in a while I too threaten my guy friends that if they get a call on their mobile phones when I'm around, I'll say in my sleepiest voice, "Come back to bed, darling!" :D

Anonymous said...

PAV BHAAJI???????????????????? WHERE IS IT???????????????????

Anonymous said...

So, U R taking me out on the 14th??

Anonymous said...

@crossword_girl read 'Suno jee , mujhse shaadi karogi?' post by munnu so you know what you should be wearing on 14th. =))

Tinku

Anonymous said...

But Y u want 2 go to crossword on 14th?

Is it closed for the weekend and 13th?

Abhi said...

@rinku - thats a scary thought , aapki lori ! :p

@mani - hope you are feeling better now.

@phoenix - The third learning can change your life.now i know whom to call when i want a pizza.

@LD - I am so excited , I am leaving fr crossowrd right after I end writing the replies.see you in three days.

@chitochat-haha.sharp observation.i like it.

@neetie - the wise old lady with her wise sayings.pranam hai tujhe.

@naina-

oieee

a)thats a brilliant move
b) yaad aya ?
c)i wont.i swear.

@shreedhar - if luck remains good , she will get her first short cute boyfrnd too this month.

@neo - it is safe.she dsnt know of my blog.i am clever.

@sachin n preeti - :).you people are lucky.dont have to think "koi hai?" fr V day.

@arpz - :)

@anu - tell you are paid to spoil my dreams every time.no one will do all this for free.

@nivi - no.girls cant handle cute-ness after a point.I dont want to be so irresistable that they drool in public places.

@sandy bhai - chill yaar.you make me blush.

@balaji- :)

@vids- well , what can i say.all this wisdom is an inborn thing.cant help it.

@sunshine - i know this thing.its a classical case of galatfehmi and over estimation of self.

@suds - thanks.something is up.

@nidhi - shucks.i think i need to change the blog url.saari sisters aisee hee hotee hain.

@anon - I am kinda choosy.im like the 'hume jo cheez pasand aati hai , wo hamari hokar rehtee hain' guy.i think me n her can talk things out.

@creativity - yeah N did help me in this way.i think i will invite him to my wedding with crosswrd girl for that.

@kaps - tu american dude hain.three pizza se kam mein no deal.

@mani - nice point.abhi us shirt ko jalata hun.

@divs - awww , how i hate this blog sometimes.

@me - sorry cant post my pic.last time i did that , seven girls died of a heart attack screaming 'how cute'.

@suds - plzz mera naam mat le lena.aapki company se business band kar denge.all the best fr redmond.

@sayesha - haha.arre tu to blackmail king hai yaar.

@anon - ouch.thats pure hunger.

@crosswrd girl - even if I lose my legs.we are going out on 14th.

@tinku - thanks fr pointing that out.shaadi mein tujhe bhee bulaunga ab.

@holidevil - tell me you are on sedatives these days.14th.V day.make some connection.

me said...

hello boss t-shirt ki pic post karne ko bola tha...

Shekhar said...

Abhinav bhai, hellu !!

Oye, 8 mahine se ghar se bhichde hue ko ghar ki yaad dila di (Crossword is 5 minutes walking distance from my house).

N btw, how dare she smile at you too? She smiled at me too the last time I was there. I'd purchased LOTR, one volume edition. (P.S. Paise bina diye bhaaga tha, isliye yaad hai)

Anonymous said...

that's why they sa y "greed is bad"!!

Got conned by the promise of a pizza :o)

But all is not lost...you got a pair of shorts!!

great post, I enjoyed it tremendously!!

Nidhi said...

huh !

what the hell...

change the blog url.. theres something called google !!!

buh bye :P

Anonymous said...

I do have lots to say but wont say much :P Small Mercies ! ;)

I hope you enjoy you day out in Crosswords, me will have a great time facing a panel for my viva that day!!

Yipeeeeeee!!!!! :))

Kaho, 'Hey Bhagu!' ?!?

Anonymous said...

I just love reading this blog....

Anonymous said...

u kinda remind of the character hari from five oint someone.
another of ur cool post.

Anonymous said...

u no this is d prob wid u ..har cheez ko paise mai tolte ho...cant i do some social service..cant i make u c not-so-gud dreams without taking money frm somone...come out of dis evry whr paisa paisa hitler ki atma !!

Anu Sharma said...

above mentioned comment was frm me ..i dont no how it went wid dis anon tag even wen i published it wid my blogger id...nyways...

Anu Sharma said...

so man hav been to crossroads ? wot happened ? did u c her smile towards u or to that ferrari wala boyfriend...wotever ..all d best

Anonymous said...

hey! was searching for rang de basanti torrents and landed on your blog! and couldnt help but keep laughing. really insightful. good job!

Anonymous said...

whts the breaking news ???

aMyth! said...

YO Man..
HAPPY VALENTINES ;)
I hope u did go to Crossword :D

Arti Honrao said...

I have dared to TAG the Hitlers' soul :) Details check my blog...

Hum dekhna chahenge ke aap yeh tag kaise likhte ho. All the best


GBU
Arti

Anonymous said...

u knw wt..hw much ever depressed i'm..ur blogs bring a smile on my face.. :)

Tarni said...

Hahaha
Another Good One!!
Hey buddy you have been tagged...
For details visit my blog!!

Regards
Tarni

Chitra said...

HA HA HA ... good post. Blogrollling you :) !!

Anonymous said...

hey munnubhai, ur article on JAM mag abt V-day was hilarious. hats off to u mate... :)

Anonymous said...

hey munnubhai, ur article on JAM mag abt V-day was hilarious. hats off to u mate... :)
-----deepako-------

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