My santa deserves a proper cap

I am beginning to mess around too much with sleep patterns.The way things are going , I will soon grow big round eyes and a little beak and become a perfect owl in a week.Right now I am feeling like a baby monkey who has been air dropped in a chemistry lab.So I have no idea what this baby monkey is going to do.So , I have no idea what I am going to write.

But at 3.45 in the morning , i am too useless to do anything but write.So let me think.

Its said that when most guys think , 80% of the times , they think about girls.I think that is wrong.When most guys think , they think about girls.From the Anna Kournikova wallpaper on the desktop , to the coochie coochie late night talk with the third girlfriend in the last four months , there are more girls than grey cells in a guy's head.And I do not understand it.And I do not get why a guy needs to go gaga over girls.I hate only two things.One.Kareena Kapoor.Two.Guys who change colours before a girl.And I see these guys all the time.

In class 4th , I had this boy, Anoop , in my class.I used to think he is one of my good friends.I used to share my lunch with him.Even when I got bread rolls for lunch.I saw Sholay.I saw the "Yeh Dosti Hum Nahi Todenge" song with Amitabh and Dharmendra on their bike.I used to think I am Dharmendra and he is Amitabh and our friendship is like theirs in the movie.One day , during the drawing class , I asked him for the red crayon from his new crayon box.He gave me the red crayon.And then the little girl , Radhika ( I still remember her name !) asked him for the Red Crayon.He took it from me and gave it to her.And smiled at her.I was coloring Santa Claus's Cap at that time.The half filled sheet lay before me as he snatched the crayon from me and passed it to Radhika.It broke my heart.The psychological scarring it caused me leads me to hate every squirming guy dying to impress girls.

And there are a lot of Anoops around still.

Me : Heyyy Rahul , yaar please explain me the 17th chapter in economics.The exam is tomorrow , and right now I understand the chapter as much as our college security guards do.

Rahul : My dad just had an accident.My mom just had a heart attack.My sister just attempted suicide.I am sad.Leave me alone.

Deepika : Heyyyy Rahul , I hope we are meeting for coffee at the canteen in the evening.And please explain economics chapter 17 to me over the coffee.....pleaaaaaasse

Rahul : Oh sure , I am willing to stick carrots in my ears and paint myself orange and come riding on a donkey to teach you economics , Deepu ( whatever happened to the name Deepika).

Me : Heyyyy Ajay , you seem to be going to the hostel , I guess I can get a lift on your bike.

Ajay : Man my bike suspension is real shaky these days.And the pen in your shirtpocket looks real heavy.Sorry.
Priyanka : Heyyy Ajay , I was wondering if you could give me a lift till the academic block.....

Ajay :Oh priya ( say the complete name dumbass ) , I can carry you on my shoulders ( priyanka weighs 84 kg , by the way ) and run all the way to afganistan .What are friends for yaaaaaaaar ( notice the extended pronunciation)

Me : Heyyy Gaurav , I am broke buddy.I need 200 bucks yaar.I will repay you by evening.

Gaurav : My dad's name is not Dawood Ibrahim or Bill Gates man.I am real low on cash too. ( no extended pronunciation)
Richa : Ohhhh Gaurav , my dad is beginning to scold me for spending too much these days.

Gaurav (pulls out his ATM card and stuffs it in Richa's mouth) : All yours Richaaaa.

Ok.Things are a little exaggerated here.No guy is so desperate.But guys go extra soft around girls , and I do not know what for.Even here in the blogworld.A girl starts a blog and there are "sweet blogggg , cute bloggg , cool bloggg" comments before she clicks the "post it" button.So any guy who goes extra soft around girls is Anoop.I like good people who teach economics , give rides and lend cash. But be good to all.Good people should be good to all.Bloody , my Santa Claus still sports a half filled red cap.