Tuesday, August 16, 2005

My santa deserves a proper cap

I am beginning to mess around too much with sleep patterns.The way things are going , I will soon grow big round eyes and a little beak and become a perfect owl in a week.Right now I am feeling like a baby monkey who has been air dropped in a chemistry lab.So I have no idea what this baby monkey is going to do.So , I have no idea what I am going to write.
But at 3.45 in the morning , i am too useless to do anything but write.So let me think.
Its said that when most guys think , 80% of the times , they think about girls.I think that is wrong.When most guys think , they think about girls.From the Anna Kournikova wallpaper on the desktop , to the coochie coochie late night talk with the third girlfriend in the last four months , there are more girls than grey cells in a guy's head.And I do not understand it.And I do not get why a guy needs to go gaga over girls.I hate only two things.One.Kareena Kapoor.Two.Guys who change colours before a girl.And I see these guys all the time.
In class 4th , I had this boy, Anoop , in my class.I used to think he is one of my good friends.I used to share my lunch with him.Even when I got bread rolls for lunch.I saw Sholay.I saw the "Yeh Dosti Hum Nahi Todenge" song with Amitabh and Dharmendra on their bike.I used to think I am Dharmendra and he is Amitabh and our friendship is like theirs in the movie.One day , during the drawing class , I asked him for the red crayon from his new crayon box.He gave me the red crayon.And then the little girl , Radhika ( I still remember her name !) asked him for the Red Crayon.He took it from me and gave it to her.And smiled at her.I was coloring Santa Claus's Cap at that time.The half filled sheet lay before me as he snatched the crayon from me and passed it to Radhika.It broke my heart.The psychological scarring it caused me leads me to hate every squirming guy dying to impress girls.
And there are a lot of Anoops around still.
Me : Heyyy Rahul , yaar please explain me the 17th chapter in economics.The exam is tomorrow , and right now I understand the chapter as much as our college security guards do.
Rahul : My dad just had an accident.My mom just had a heart attack.My sister just attempted suicide.I am sad.Leave me alone.
Deepika : Heyyyy Rahul , I hope we are meeting for coffee at the canteen in the evening.And please explain economics chapter 17 to me over the coffee.....pleaaaaaasse
Rahul : Oh sure , I am willing to stick carrots in my ears and paint myself orange and come riding on a donkey to teach you economics , Deepu ( whatever happened to the name Deepika).
Me : Heyyyy Ajay , you seem to be going to the hostel , I guess I can get a lift on your bike.
Ajay : Man my bike suspension is real shaky these days.And the pen in your shirtpocket looks real heavy.Sorry.
Priyanka : Heyyy Ajay , I was wondering if you could give me a lift till the academic block.....
Ajay :Oh priya ( say the complete name dumbass ) , I can carry you on my shoulders ( priyanka weighs 84 kg , by the way ) and run all the way to afganistan .What are friends for yaaaaaaaar ( notice the extended pronunciation)
Me : Heyyy Gaurav , I am broke buddy.I need 200 bucks yaar.I will repay you by evening.
Gaurav : My dad's name is not Dawood Ibrahim or Bill Gates man.I am real low on cash too. ( no extended pronunciation)
Richa : Ohhhh Gaurav , my dad is beginning to scold me for spending too much these days.
Gaurav (pulls out his ATM card and stuffs it in Richa's mouth) : All yours Richaaaa.
Ok.Things are a little exaggerated here.No guy is so desperate.But guys go extra soft around girls , and I do not know what for.Even here in the blogworld.A girl starts a blog and there are "sweet blogggg , cute bloggg , cool bloggg" comments before she clicks the "post it" button.So any guy who goes extra soft around girls is Anoop.I like good people who teach economics , give rides and lend cash. But be good to all.Good people should be good to all.Bloody , my Santa Claus still sports a half filled red cap.


suraj said...

Be yourself thts tuf for many with gals around...

Miss Sea said...

I think Anoop caused permanent brain damage. I wonder if he even knows about this!

Sayesha said...

Oooh Abhi, scarred for life eh? That Anoop dude caused some serious damage, man!

ps: I hate Kareena Kapoor too.

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Yeah, I have met quite a few such samples in my college days as well. One particular person had almost done that ATM card thingy... and ended up with a rakhi on his wrist :))

Anonymous said...

Sweet blog,
Cute blog,
Cool Blog....

Who am I kidding, hopeless posts(including the one before this). What's got into you? It's like reading Jug Suraiya's column

Anonymous said...

Well written man.

Hv cm across a lot of such guys who r just not their normal self when interacting with the fairer sex.

Hp u get a chance to color your Santa properly



(n isn't Jugular Vein by Jug Suraiya most awaited coloumn in TOI).

herenow said...

and boy arent u rude!

Anonymous said...

hey abhinav, A guy howsoever good 2 friends will always loose favour to any Tommy Dickky harrryyy Girl from a Friend equally known to both because yeh aadmi ke dil ki baat hai

priya said...

hey i didnt get many " sweet blog..cute blog " stuff on my blog..i m a girl !! :(
he he.. kidding.. :p
if anyone posts such stuff on my blog.. i'd let my other personality take over.. the evil priya one (angry glaring red red eyes )

Anoop said...

i didnt like the post dude. i was half thinking of giving u the red crayon. now i think it was worth it that i gave it to that girl. Hrrrmmmphhhffff!

the_free_soul said...

i wont spend a penny on gals ...no lift to 100 kg women coz tht burns petrol,no tutions bcoz they wont gimme a tr8 , no ATM card coz i dont hav 1 and i m particular bout cash.....and i never did all tht coz no gal asked me 4 all tht or anything for tht matter.

Archana said...

Yeah yeah......Men have a soft corner?! for girls any given time of a day. But seriously, for what you said guys think about girls all time....fact is, on an average, guys think abt sex [and that cannot be w/o a girl] once in every God damn 5 minutes!! A survey says soo...:-/

saurabh ohri said...

kool post

so havent u ever changed ur colour from blue to pink in front of a pretty girl like preity zinta


abhinav said...

@suraj: Oh yeah.one lass and some guys will eat mud for her.

@TT : *squinting eyes* *sticking toungue out* *wiggling ears* :main to hoon paagal.

@sayesha:look at the comment above for the extent of the damage.I liked kareena kapoor in Dev maybe.But thats it.

@sudipta:I bet he does not carry an ATM card these days.

@anon:what do i write ? what you enjoy reading.what I enjoy writing.The latter it is.I guess i might as well write it down in a personal thing.

@HD : my santa shall wear a red cap some day.He will.

@herenow:Maybe I am.Maybe i am just not a pup-on-the-leash.NOM.

@anon :yaar isme dil kya itna involve karna hai.bandi eco padkar chali jaati hai, tree ke around gaana nahi gaaati..

@priya : now tats attitude.Be a normal human , one doesnt need to use one's girlie tantrums.girls dig sweet talk , when most of it is done by a guy with very selfish intrests.

@anoop : I got a crayon box for myself.

@freesol : U r at an IIT.ur position is different.u suffer from a highly girl-less environment.

@archana:now i wont tell yoy what guys think about.But even if its sex , how will teaching economics to a girl end up in sex ? guys have this internal microchip tat makes them incredibly docile before a girl , and sex is too far fetched a possibilty to cause that.

@saurabh : not once.not once.sacchi.a person is a person.guy or gal comes after that.

divya said...

u cant really help it can u, or is anoop to be blamed for it(look what a lil red crayon can do to people). and u can call me divya :-)

I said...

abey red crayon he tha yaar..itna senti ho gaya tu, jo itna bada post likh dala...

kaash yeh anoop ka address mujhe mil jaaye ;) he he...

"sweet blog..cute blog.."
what was third one...anyways thats true...guys are mad for girls (only for girls???)...hopeless creatures :))

SonnyBoy said...

You are right man! Well Put...
Guys do that all the time including yours truly...
But aint it worth?? I would really like to think so...

Harsh said...

ahh the Knight in shining armour saves the Damsel in distress. May be ur prob might be solved if u get some gay friends

Anonymous said...

i kno some guys who love only money..girls don't figure in the list at all..
i just think that folks are all very different..very different things make them tick ;)

- Vibha

Harsh said...

ohh btw sending u another batch of visually intoxicating merchandise...and this batch is the best of the lot...wink wink

sona said...

hey abhinav

It happens..:)but u didnt write about urself...ever cared about looking at blogs on ur sidebar..:)

a girl said...

remember school...college..life ...when/where it was always assumed that if you were a smart girl you'd still be dumber than the smart guy ...remember all the bias in the maths,physics etc classes...remember.. electronics/mechanical engineering isnt for girls...how about.. girls are good for becoming teachers/call centre workers...how about women cant lead agressively...how about women cant do blah...and a woman's place is blah blah......
Ok now try comparing your grief to mine :)

..and anyways most of the girls I know get wierd around guys too and act their flirtatious and dumbest most...in a "Oh I am such a baby I need help"...etc kind of a way when some guy(esp a good lookin ...maaldar...or an IIM ;) one) happens to be around . Most of these guys like playing their daddys too ...what to do ...the idiots deserve each other

Anonymous said...

well written!

Yes ur right-I hate those Anoop types too...a disgrace !

But really really funny...I loved ur examples,"that pen in your pocket looks heavy"


Abhi said...

Thanx bhai.anoop murdaabaad ! :p

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purushotham said...

I agrre with you Abhinav.
sure, there are lot of anoops around here

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