Saturday, August 06, 2005

Using the moments

"I think you are a loser and whatever shred of guilt you feel should be compounded by a loveless marriage. You sad, pathetic SOB."
Please relax.Not to you.
This comment is directed towards yours truly , Abhinav , left by someone as a comment to the previous post on this blog.And this post is in no way to "hit back" or ridicule him / her.I swear.My intention is not at all to belittle him/her by any strange use of words and my little vocabulary of expletives.
Wait.Let me address the person who wrote this comment as "him".It may be a girl.I just use a "He" as I wont have to write a "He/She" everytime.No male vs female discrimination may be seen in this.Anyways.
He just expressed an opinion , which was that I am a loser , and a wish , that I go through a loveless married life , and a parting piece of information , that I was a SOB.For my innocent and 'untouched by the hard life' friends , SOB stands for son of a bitch. Now , I do not want to hit back , irrespective of whether i can actually do so or not.And I do not want to hit back , because ...let me analyse this.
First the opinion - Abhinav is a loser.
Now , "opinion" is the keyword.That is an opinion.What he thinks.I have a gazzilion opinions.I think the chewing gum in my mouth is manufactured in switzerland.In reality , it is manufactured in Bombay.I think I sing well.In reality , I will be doing a social service by trying not to sing in public.Someone thinks I am a loser.In reality , I may be a loser , I may not be a loser , or I may be somewhere in between.
So you see how insignificant an opinion is , unless that is the opinion of your wife or boss.And how removed from reality it may be.
Second.The wish.May Abhinav go through a loveless married life.Amen.
Now , this is a wish.I wished I make it to an IIM.I worked for it , and I am in an IIM.I wish the guy shouting in the corridor outside would shut up.But the fact ,that he visits the gym five times a week , stops me from doing something about this wish of mine.Someone wishes that I have a loveless married life.But he can do something about it only if I marry him , maybe.So you see that a wish is nothing in the absence of the required resources to convert it into a reality.
Third.The piece of information.Abhinav is a SOB.
I do not even want to talk about this.We have been taught that mother is before god.Every mother is respectable , for the sheer unconditional love she showers.I would not say anything about the SOB part.Just to the person who left that comment , that I respect your mother too , because I am sure she loves her children in so pure a way , that only a mother can love.
Right.So I do not see anything in the comment which can harm me or any of my loved ones .Hence I have nothing to say in retaliation.
But I am not writing this post to say nothing.Silence if golden.But I think I will settle for silver and say something.I imagine the person when he wrote that comment.Must be angry at me.Irritated.Wanting to kill me.Hands itching to wrap themselves around my neck.Frowned forehead.Clenched teeth.I think so.He called me a SOB.So must be decently angry.Now , for those moments when he felt all this for me , all the beautiful and sweet things in this world were forgotten by him.The lovely ice cream he may have eaten , just before coming to my blog ,and its lingering taste were forgotten.He forgot about the sweet smileys his girlfriend may be sending to him on the messenger , as he read my blog.He forgot about the innocent smile of some little child who may be playing nearby as he typed that comment.For those few moments , he was seething with a hatred and despise for me , when he could have felt happy and blissful for all the beautiful things in this world. For those few moments , he was a demon who wanted me to have a wretched life , when he could have easily been a blissfully peaceful person.
So , the next time you curse someone , crib about something or ridicule someone , just know that you are spending those moments filling up your heart with hatred , anger and miserable thoughts .Whereas you could have used those moments to find a little more peace ,happiness and beauty in life.And most of the times , it has minimal consequences for the person your hatred is directed at.I am not trying to be sagacious.I am not.I am a selfish person.Who does not want to let these precious moments burn in the fire of hatred and anger.Just think about it.
And before leaving , a little word for the person who put that comment .You call me a SOB.But I see a love for you ,in the eyes of your mother , and I love every mother for being so pure , and just by thinking that , I feel happy.Now who used up his moments better ? You..or me ?


Ashish Gupta said...

good one abhi =D>
eet ka jwaab patthar se :P
I loved the last line the most- also very thought provoking, will remind myself of this the next time I am wanting to vent my anger......
oh and so truly said, Maa ka pyar- just cannot live without it!

Nazia said...

I read ur blog and am rendered speechless....each time....but now on will make a conscious effort to end the self imposed silence and say a few words cause u write really well and i want u to know that.silence is not always golden rt!
the post on lucy was hilarious, i truly enjoyed reading it, the next one was cute and this one is worth a case study on the analysis of a comment!!!

u know who.. said...


Dreamcatcher said...

Hey that was a great post. I ve had a lot of trouble with anon comments abusing me and perhaps the best thing to do is to ignore such losers. However there is a limit to one's tolerance.
Glad that someone went ahead and tackled things head on.

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

wow !!
u know.. i hve been a real short tempered person.. all my life i have been fighting with my near n dear once.. coz i was brought up as the most pampered kid.. i shouted on ..rediculed.. and hated all the ppl around me who didnt go in accordance to my wish.. rotton and spoilt.. but 3 years at college have taught me.. how to live life with a smile.. how to react to ppl who talk against u.. n u know what?? ur abs right.. we shhudnt hate ppl.. n waste the moments that cud have been spent in a better way.. and the way u taught that person a lesson..without spoiling ur mood.. without using bad words.. its sumthing that i have learnt with time.. my brother .. my frnz.. n sum ppl around me still fight with me.. n a times i come across sum bad words that can make me angry.. but i take care of the sitution like u just did !! :D.. selfish for some peace.. :)

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Abhinav, since you are an ex-engineer, and a computer one at that, I am sure your 'stock' is not so less. But I liked the way you took this up... mebbe you can disable anon comments from your blog, or else invite this person on a little one-to-one ;) By the way, since he(she) was angry because you are not getting married so easily, I suddenly smell something burning :D

Keep them coming!!

abhash said...

u know what....I have been to couple of kind of a recluse u can say. this is the only blog where I feel that I shud comment. commenting on anybodies writeups or feeling is ridiculous if ppl involved have a chasm of intellectual disparity(which is more often true). The disparity not in terms of academic records or the places where one went to study, its the way one views the world. everyone has a diffrent way of doing it.but those who are really enlightened beyond the basic minimum threshold respect others way of doing so.
dont pay any heed to recklessly designed brains.

Anonymous said...

hi i am from COE-NSIT just passed out this year and am presently working at FSS.. Was pleasantly surprised to see a senior's blog..
Must say you have exceptional writing skills..

Handa said...


suraj said...

hey abhinav,u gave it to him/her in a thumping way....rightly its said pen is mightier thn sword...

priya said...

sumtimes these anonymous comments leave quite a scar ..atleast on me.. cowards.. dont have the balls to give their names!! i had this comment tht jus read " sex" i dunno wat the hell it meant!! ok mr.anonymous u want to leave a crap comment on my blog.. atleast gimme sumthing thts related to wat i write!!!

Sayesha said...

Hey Abhinav,

Thanks for dropping by my blog. You've got some great stuff going on here too!


renegadefade said...

going a little overboard on the senti-ness aren't we? sticks and stones...

great blog otherwise btw

Anonymous said...

Found your blog. thought say hello.
dont have too much fun! For fun
Im into free online . Check out my site if
ya like about free online

abhinav said...

@ashish : I dint really want to throw back any patthars or chattaans or mountains at that person.:)and without movies ? ohk.without oxygen ? maybe .without mom's way.

@nazia :I am glad you liked it nazia.And i am gladder ( is this a proper word ? rhymes with bladder though ) , that you chose to comment.Its good to know not all people think i am a 100% idiot.:)

@u know who : ok , tell me , did u slip in the bathroom , did something heavy on your head , did you see some murder happening , what has left you so crazy ?:p

@DC : I know.I read the asinine anonymous comment on your blog.But trust me , they end up making an almost perfect fool of themselves.

@nidhi : you do talk sense for your age kid.:p.hope to see u getting more cool as you grow the bullets.dont murder anyone.keep goin for CAT.nothings impossible.

@sudipta : Now thats what I call sharp observation and inferential capabilities.And my stock used to be pretty awesome in my engineering days , but lately been out of touch , need some practice.
I can recreate the magic.

@abash : Its better to be a recluse than to be uncomfortable in an intellectually unsynchronised atmosphere.And I wont call it a recklessly designed brain , just a different one.To each his own.Or her own.:)

@anon : hi there junior , i did my engg summer training at you know chintan there ?

@handa : hey handa , ladkiyon jaise smileys kyun de raha hai bhai ? :p

@suraj :jet age.keyboard is mightier than a bazooka.

@priya : dont care a damn about them for the comment , he/she/it may just be confused about his/her/its sex.Dont care about these sickos.they are not worth your time.

@sayesha : oh sayesha , ill prolly not forget ur post for some time to come.Honest and very encouraging for the guys.

@renegadefade : sob..yea..i do get a lil..sob...senti sometimes..*breaking down in tears*

@anon : what next ? condom ads on this blog ? but its fine .commercialisation.

the_free_soul said...

whos the bloody does being loveless married make one looser.half of the iitians r looser according to his philosophy ...foook him.
and even a bitch as a mother ,as just being god's creation is divine ....and i like the thing u said bout anger...only harms u.

abhishek said...


Miss Sea said...

whenever i see the title of ur post, it remins me of statistics, mu1 mu2 mu3 etc...grrr.

divya said...

brilliant. u have a way with words!

Dushyant said...

Dharmendra:Kutte Kameene mein tera Khoon Pee Jaoonga
(Bloody Dog I'll drink ur blood #$%@!!)

Abhinav:Priya Bhai Mein apko manushik achhai ka dudh pilaoonga.
(Dear Brother I shall make u drink the milk of Human Kindness)

Man!! Were u by any chance in ur previous birth the minister for Propaganda in the USSR?? cos this post would want "Him" to probably to curl up in a dark place and die.

Reminds me of saying-"Dont Kill with Anger or Retribution.Kill them with Mercy".

And going by the prev comments,my friend you have done just that.

p.s.wot abt ur results?

amit said...

bahut sahi.... tune to uski maar li yaar...:).

u no who said...

ok I tell u , I didn’t slip in bathroom but d washing machine in my bathroom suddenly started working,nothing heavy in my head but yes I hav pour in 1 lt oil in my head, n I didn’t c any murder happening but I saw purab n pashhim of manoj kumar on dd-1 , so dat may drive me crazy..khush. by the way happy friendship day , or wud u like to wait for enemy day if it exists , if not wots d big deal we can make it no? how abt 8th oct dis way I wil b offering u a sceme ek (wish) ke saath ek (wish) free !! don’t tell me dat now u hav gone crazy!!! :p

u no said...

well on d serious part now onwards i m not going to supply u thz cute adj n it was only u who suggested mme to send u a single word only...but nyways somone has said on ur blog dat a irrelevant comment does not make any sense , i sud not hav entertain ur advice..n moreover i dont hav dat huge stock lik u hav to save it for future....hey was i able to pretend dat im serious

Harsh said...

Pity how people get consumed by hatred and anger...
and err abt ur sis askin abt me .. well i was bloghopping and stumbled upon her blog and wanted to comment when i read ur post .. so i enquired whether she was ur sis and told her that blogging runs in the family ... :)

Leon said...

A fantastic way to handle that anonymous comment.. :-).

I have only been blogging for a month now and for the last two days have been spammed with anonymous junk. I have just been ignoring irrelevant comments and deleting profane ones. A reply like yours would probably help.. ;-)

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Thanks, Abhinav... better luck next time :)

Sowndarya said...

Hey Abhi! That was good retaliation. No words.......but all you male idiots (only those to whom it is applicable) in the world, learn to respect a Woman.

Neha said...

that is jus such a beautiful thought.. didnt know where the post was heading till i reached the end.. :)

Eastmancolour said...

Brilliant Brilliant !!

aa laak that :D

I havent really read your last blog (running through blogs right now :D) But am sure it wasnt exactly "anger" that was directed at you from that particular person. I mean..come on ! It sounds more like some stupid moron trying to sound bossy or somethin.
If it wasnt so stupid and disgusting..I guess it would be cute :D
but no..we dont appreciate such language and attitude. Someone... grabbing cheap thrills out of posting "SOB" on someone's blog and then grinning from ear to ear about it... heh heh heh .. I called him a SOB ! duh :P

It's not the language that irritates me...but that grin ! he actually thought that was so smart !
it's the's the thought that this is so much fun !
it's just this whole scenario of how very stupid some people can be ! Oh my holy hippy god ! Can I help them somehow ? maybe shove a table up some specific part of their anatomy. Now THAT will be fun :)
what say you ? ;)

ravi said...

So much ado..for what?
Dude, look what that one comment has done. It has prompted you write this big post dwelving into finding out whether you are really a loser or not.
If this guy/girl was looking for creating a big bang, he/she surely has been successful. I think it is best to just to ignore such comments. Like they say. 'An elephant doesn't worry about every barking dog'(or something like that ;))

Anonymous said...


Sayesha said...

Hey Abhi,

Yes, I get my share of hate-comments on my blog too. It used to bother me at first, but I told myself that no one should have the right to upset me without my permission. Especially not someone who's afraid to come out in the open and be himself when he expresses his opinions(?).

So I don't care anymore. And it helps! :)


bunnu said...

abe pukka ye dhania ya ady honge..suna hai ki dono angreji padh rahe hain aajkal.

Sunil said...

If the guys at the world class Management Institutions can afford to use such foul language, what to talk about ordinary college student. It is perhaps because of the fact that the basic intrinsic values do not weigh at all in the selection process for admissions to IIMs. It seems that IIMs would shortly churn out a few arrogant, materialistic,cunning indviduals who would be sought after by many good companies to lead them to the materialistic success.
Unfortunately, in our society such individuals now occupy a premier place.

abhinav said...

@a free soul : wooh , cool down angry young man.;)

@abhishek : you embarass me.:)

@TT : I am dumb.I dint get the statistics catch.Please aapko batana padega.I am dumb.

@Divya : yeah I do.A wierd way.

@Dushyant : *chuckle* , your hindi makes you look like you have jumped out of some ramanand sagar serial.amazing hindi on display there.:).And results ...umm..err..ahem...what results ?

@amit : Are meri aisee koee mansha nahee thee bhai.Bhaiya hume kisee kee nahee maarni.

@u know who : Tujhse personally niptoonga.:p

@Harsh : Ah my aishwarya pics provider .Thats all fine buddy.Next lot please.

@Leon : Yeah it may.Just dont get pulled into reacting.That comes from the experience of an year of blogging and abusing comments *cough* *cough

@sudipta : :)

@sow didi : male idiots.she is not talking to me.She is not.

@neha : Me too did not know that.:)

@eastmancolor : who pays for the table ? :p

@ravi : Me ? An elephant ?
And buddy , i did not try to find out if i am a loser or not.It wasnt about that.:)

@anon : Do I take you out for a walk ?:p

@sayesha : yeah , they dont deserve even a minute of fretting over , sayesha.And when others read it , its the guy posting that commenting whom they are laughing at.

@bunnu: abe tu hain kahan ? was it ur bday on the 7th.happy bday bhai.i cudnt get thru to ur cell.

@sunil :rightly said buddy.But I dont think he/she was an IIMian...But the insight is very true.

rajendranath said...

Hi Abhi,
Great reply man.
Everyone has thoughts and ideas to express, but dont know how to pen down them (Even i am poor in english like you :).The way you wirte is fantastic. Keep writing for us :) .

Anonymous said...

Grow up man...
If you really don't care about that comment why did you make an entire post on it?
And you actually did disect that guy/girl in public regardless of your claim of not trying to be abusive. Sure you didn't use any curse words but the end result is the same.

The least you could do is not be a hypocrite.