Sunday, August 28, 2005

sending abhinav.exe to home.bmp.

Ladies and gentlemen.......Ladies and gentlemen ? This sounds like I am going to announce some business plan on how to increase condom sales in the state of Xanadu.
Hey buddies !
1.I am going home.
2.My dad thinks I am so lazy and irresponsible and non serious.
These two points combine.And I am subjected to a number of instructions which is slightly higher than the number of instuction a three year old kid needs to perform an open heart surgery.

My dad's battery of advices and instructions ,is unleashed in all its pristine glory just before I have to travel home.Some specimens of our phone conversations during these tantalising times of pre-travel preperation.

Dad : Munnu , remember to lock your room when you leave for the airport.
Me : Yes dad.
Dad : And for god's sake , dont leave the keys lying in the room after you do that.
Me : It is tough not to do that.But come what may , I will not leave the keys in my room after I lock it.Trust me.
Dad : Munnu , what are you wearing right now ?
Me : Huh ? Dad , I am wearing a bright red bikini with yellow stripes.Pure Cotton.
Dad : When will you learn to act like a human ? Tell me , its important.
Me : I am wearing a tee shirt and pair of shorts.
Dad : Remember to change into trousers before you leave for the airport.
Me : Dad , it is real good you told me.I was planning to leave with only cactus leaves covering me.
Dad : Did you keep the ATM card in your bag ?
Me : I am sorry.I just donated it to the Mumbai Dance Bar girls relief fund.They have given me a couple of passes to the "Blue Moon" dance bar.You free this saturday , dad?
Dad : Some things need to be taken seriously.Keep the ATM card in the bag.And do not announce that you have it.
Me ( yelling ) : Hey people , I got an ATM card in my bag , right pocket , inside the black case .Rob me ! No guns needed.No knives needed.Just ask.Lets make robberies with a smile , a reality.
There are lot more.I love to act whacky when my daddy dearest is trying to act serious.:)But I have to pack my bags now.So I will be going off the cyberworld now.For some time to come.I may meet the sweetest air hostess , propose to her when she brings me the candies , marry her on flight , hijack the plane and take it to switzerland , build a little cottage over there , and stay happily ever after with my airhostess wife to never come back.Or I may meet the same old air hostesses who dont respect my love-filled plans and land at home and stay there and come back all right.
But before abhinav.exe emails itself to home.bmp , I would copy paste an "travel advice" offliner my didi , who is in a different city from my family's , left on my messenger.And even though she thought I would travel by a train , with a didi like this , can anything go wrong with her chotu brother ?
"Travel safe.Donot talk to strangers - donot accepts chips/toffees/5stars/etc etc from strangers- count your belongings before you get into an auto/cab and after getting down the auto/cab - check it again all the night - handover to someone when you go to the loo but carry your importane stuff like wallet/cellphone/cards with you - don't oversleep - remind TT to wake you up at your station - donot try to get down at other stations - donot board or get down a running train - once again count your belongings after you get down from the cab/auto at your home - hug..oops.....bend, touch their feet and take blessings from your parents - donot tease your younger sister - donot entertain brides as yet - and do not give lifts to unknown girls on your bicycle - and be a good kid when you are at home - help your mom in the kitchen - donot overeat (indigestion) - and check your ticket both for the date and the time and the train number and board only that train - arrive at station a well hour ahead of the scheduled departure - check your ticket before you board the train - do not hand over your return ticket to the TT after you get down at delhi/gurgaon - keep your return ticket seperately and check a couple of days before your scheduled return ........ , chill out with your family ,mere hisse ka bhi khaa le (don't want to put on weight, am on diet you know ) , and tease choti sister as much as you can ,and convey my regards to all at home.CYA.Love, your sweetest didi"

45 comments:

Sayesha said...

Hahahaha! :)

Have a good trip! Munnu! ;)

Will catch up with you later!

Miss Sea said...

welcome home. horrible heat and airconditioned malls eagerly await ur arrival. haffun.

Anat said...

enjoy delhi, the heat has calmed down and yes, like tipsy said many new malls have opened up and india's largest mall at noida is also open... enjoy!

chutki said...

Oh god u will marry that sweet air hostess..mujhe laga tum use bhi behen bana loge :P

take care and yes dont freak too much :))

Harsh said...

Hey enjoy the break dude ...:)

Anonymous said...

munnu, write many more posts like this :p

justme said...

hahha.. Thr trip back home is always memorable.. your mum will stuff u with soooo much of food that u will love every second of it.. HOME IS WHERE MUM IS.. or rather mum's food is.. :)

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Abhinav, the next time someone asks you the definition of infinity, quote your dad's patience.

By the way, it is a small world, I felt, when I was looking at the list of things to do/ not to do from your didi. I mean, how come everybody from my Mom to didis speak the same lingo in their exact contents all the time?

amit said...

chalo koi to mili tujhe shaadi karne ke liye....mujhe laga tujhe to behen banane se hi fursat nahin milti....:).

chal enjoy kar.....ghar se door rehkar ghar ki kitni yaad aati hai...last 3 months mein janane laga hoonn.....

till how long u r in delhi...i wud be back bt 16th.....

SonnyBoy said...

Have a nice time back home in darling Dilli!!

sona said...

hi bro
again a nice post..parents r like that..now m leaving home for the first time..ill experience all this n my mom has made her mind to cum every month for a few days to stay with me....hehehe
tc

Vidhi said...

have a blast abhi!!

Sayesha said...

Hey, when are you getting back?? Sayesha ko naya post mangta! :)

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Madhavi said...

i am starving.
when will you write your next post?

Akanksha said...

yaar tu to bahut hi mast likhta hai....you make me grin.....just after i hv had my worst cry!!

abhinav said...

@sayesha : Bilkul third class trip rahee ! flight delay , stupid hostess , scared passenger on the next seat and a drunk pilot.

@TT:haffun to hum hamesha kartein hai chachi jee .dilli ho ya madraas , munnu bhai rehta bindaas.

@anat:yaar i dnt really like hanging around at the malls , na paisa hai na girlfriend ,point kya hai jaane ka ?

@chutki:bitiya hum raakhi bandhwa kar nahi paida hue the ...hum bhee insaan hoon , boy hoon , mhare dil mein bhee tarang umang uthe hain !

@harsh : tnx bhai.n am really amazed by the fact that u have made a couple of short films !mail me about what you do sometime.interesting work :)

@anon : munnu likh to dega , but tussi kaun ho maharaaj ?

@justme : burp burp burp burp burp.

@sudipta : tats the beauty of life brother.all of us have something of ourselves in each other.deep down , we are all the same.

@amit : rota to nahi pillow mein sar daalkar jab ghar kee yaad atee hai ? ;)

@sonnyboy :Thanx bhai.and u sure are having fun at infy.short plays n all , mast hai mamu.

@sona : oh yeah sis , its a different experience , for the first 5 days , I could not sleep without crying coz mummy kee yaad atee thee.but this is life , these are its colors.all the best:)

@vidhi : have a blast ? Al qaeda ka samajh rakha hai kya ? ;)

@sayesha : bachna aye haseeno , lo main aa gaya ! :p

@anon : now this is the latest concept of disguised dvertising.play safe.zara see saawdhaani , zindagi bhar asaani.

@madhavi : Do you eat my posts ? :p.just kidding yaar , I dint know someone could wait for something like what I write !improve ur taste buddy !;)

@aks : Lo ho gya purpose solve likhne ka .:).but rona band kar mona.( mona only fr rhyming purposes).

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