Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Hey girl , lets talk !

Hi Girls ,

Well ,11.56 in the night is not a perfect time to talk to girls but we havent talked much over the last 23 years of my life, have we ?

First Let me make clear what bunch i am talking to.Girls=Girls.Exclude mothers and grandmothers and grand grandmothers and...i think anyone higher would be dead by now.Right.So girls=girls.If you still are confused about what I mean by girls ,its ok.Girls are supposed to be a little dumb.

My earliest memory of your clan- my younger sister pulls my hair.Painful.Digs her nails in my cheek.Painful.And then runs to mummy to complain that I hit her.Not a perfect start.
I went to a defence school.We were small and carried water bottles and small bags and crayon boxes. You girls colored silly color books.You did not shout much.You did not spill food while eating.You played stupid games during the games period where you became a mother and someone became your daughter and someone became your mother.
By class 2nd , I had formed a mental banner which declared in a glowing and blinking neon sign - GIRLS ARE STUPID AND BORING.School progressed.Class 6th.Class 10th.

The font size in the neon sign kept getting bigger and bigger.You people never took any interest in me.And I was equally indifferent and snooty about you people.I was of the back benchers gang.I was not too good in studies.I was a regular at being thrown out of class.I was the guy girls should not talk to.You people stayed with the boys who wore clean clothes , combed their hair,shared their tiffin with you , spoke softly, took notes and did well in studies.
College.First day , seniors pick me out for ragging.They point at a group of fresher girls and tell me to call one of them.I walk upto her and ask her to come.She does not care to reply and looks away.I lean in and growl "Look lady.You may be pretty.Guys may swallow a lizard if u order them to.But I have 0% interest in you and your friends here.You understand how much is 1 - 1.It's 0.Thats the interest I have in girls.Those seniors want you , not me.So just move."
She came along ,I proposed to her and then We sang "Aati kya Khandaala".It lasted for some ten minutes.I swear on your grumpy neighbour , that was the longest interaction I ever had with a girl in my college.Through these four years of engineering, most from your clan saw me and mumbled "MCP" under their breath.One yelled "MCP" at me loudly in the college canteen.MCP stands for My Cute Pal.Ok.It stands for Male Chauvinistic Pig.All the hormonal developments were on track.I was not gay.But I got into another of those all-guys-brats-bunks-bikes types group which was too busy in having fun by themselves and considered girls as a waste of time and energy.We were a sunny bunch of happy-go-lucky chaps at college.
The appereances of girls definitely changed in college.You know what ,please do not on use too much of make up.Then your face looks like you have been sleeping in a paint tumbler and your mouth looks like you have eaten 3 bars of lipsticks.And please think about those long earrings which hang like earthworms from your ears.They look wierd.And make you look wierder.And you do not need to let your hair loose all the time.They cover your ears.If you tie your hair up you can actually hear better.And all that hair keeps falling in the plates around when you eat.Please consider tieing it up.Its hygienic.
Anyways , that was the way it was.Till 'she' breezed into my life.
She had a sense of humor.She had similar thoughts.She was mature.She was responsible.She was silly.She was simple.She was very human.For the first time , I sensed that girls have a "lipsticks-n-eyeliner" free brain.That they think of something beyond that.That they are as good human beings as anyone.Every tear I have caused her has left a streak on my heart.I thank the guy whom she is with now.He did not give her much time to feel hurt and alone.
Thinking more calmly and having more girls as friends has helped realise some of you are mature.Some of you think deeply , think good thoughts and are really sensitive and introspective .Some girls are really good human beings. All in all , you people are not so stupid as I thought.You dont have the IQ of a cheese burger.You people are as mature as any human being and probably a lot more sensitive than guys.
And know what is the best part about being a girl ? You will be a mother some day.However stupid and stubborn and irritating you may be right now , being a mother is being capable of some kind of divine love, of being closer to god.One day you are going to create life and nurture it with such unconditional care which makes you all the more respectable.
But some things about you people still beat me.Firstly , why do you people give so much importance to the way you look ?If you think every guy looks at you when you go down a street , catch the next lift down and come down to earth.Tom Cruise doesnt care about how you look.Hrithik Roshan doesnt care about how you look.Your dad doesnt care about how you look.And any sensible guy wont care about how you look.And if someone is attracted by your looks , he can only desire you , not love you.
Another thing.If I end up talking to you for anything over eight minutes , dont assume I am flirting with you.Being a girl or a guy is not so important.Please behave like a normal homo sapien.I hate being branded a girl chaser.Because I hate to be one.
I have always been an outsider in your world.The brat.Never too close.And after causing hurt to 'her',I intend to stay away from your world for a long long long time to come.After all , I was hurt too.I am plain scared to meddle in your world now.I am plain scared of again causing a lot of tears and hence have resolved to stay at a safe yet friendly distance from your domain.If earlier it was snobbish indifference , now it is a peaceful and quiet lack of interest.
Anyways ,it was good talking to you. I will take your leave and read some Jughead comic.And one last thing.If you drive anything more than a bicycle , please do not.Its sin to kill innocent walking on the street ,people not belonging to the Al-Qaeda.But if you have to drive , atleast keep a First Aid box handy.That was it.


Ms. V said...

Uhm.. I don't know if I'm supposed to be mad or tickled. You called me silly anyway, so why let you down. I think I'll wait till the entire post sinks in completely, and think of something intelligent to say in response. I'll try my level best to make sure it comes from an IQ level greater than that of a cheeseburger.

dreamz said...

:-) hmmm so the clan of girls attract u so much tht u decide to dedicate a post to them? u advice them not to wear a lot of make-up and earthworms in ears coz ppl don't notice them for tht? y is it tht u don't mention the nice, simple girls in the post? Haven't u come across any?

Yeah, interaction does help, talking to more boys has helped me realize tht not all of u r crazy, arrogant and high-headed. :-)

Naveen said...

first Mike then u...hail misogyny!!!
overall an okay teh time i reached teh middle of teh post i realised that those naree morcha wallahs who had chased mike a few weeks ago..u would be their next target but then u changed ur tone..good timing!!..i agree with some of the things u said but i must admit i havent really seen that many girls of the type u so eloquently describe...maybe havent interacted with many but still the girls i know(which isnt a lot) are really mature..dont care too much abt how they look...arent typically girly..

Abhi said...

@Ms.V : its all right.I think ur IQ would settle somewhere between that of a cheeseburger n a masala dosa.;)

@Dreamz:It wasnt about being attracted by girls buddy.people write about militancy not because they are attracted to it.i was just expressin wat I feel.Nice , simple girls-highly endangered species , i hope u r trying to preserve one of the specimens.

@Naveen:U r one lucky for changing the tone -safety first.n i have nuthing against girls , i dont even know how to spell misogyny , just that my life hasnt been too interactive.

Miss Sea said...

Hehehe. Just returning from the Transport Authority Office after applying for my Permanent Driver's License. :D BEWARE!

Harsh said...

Hehehe .. i shared ur attitude for a long time and was not a lot unlike you.. i was from a boys school and basically had no interactions with the oppsotie sex ..entering college i was apprehensive of letting a female breach my bastion of friends... But well as fate would have it .. three years ago i was trapped mercifully by a doe eyed female..who found this latent poet in me. What can i say .. I am happy to remain under life imprisonment...

there is a great deal one learns from them though and sometimes i wonder how different i would have been if i was from a Co-Ed school.

Btw they are a cunning lot , u will never know when u will get ensnarled by one of them again...Wishing you many mirthful encounters with the simple kind.




yeah girls shud keep a first aid box.. :D .. girl r ral bad at driving :D.. n the firstlesson my father taught me was.. gudia.. beta gadi hamesha "ladies" , "old men" & "cycle walo" se door chalana.. ladies word was stressed on ! AND now when my father taught my brother to drive.. he instructed him.. beta gadi gudia se and "ladies" se doo chalana.. kafi kahtarnaak chalete hain yr loog :D :)) ..

abhinav !! man u need a doctor !! har post me "she" !! :P

bye tc

priya said...

call me crazy.. but i feel the same way abt girls though i am one :-) they're like medicine.. its not sumthing u want.. but they're sumthing tht u need :)

Anonymous said...


it seems u call evrygrl SILLY!
hey i knw d grl jiske liye u sung "aati kya khandala" ,remembr v once had a discussn on it.........n thnx 4 d numbr, n plz stop sayng ill abt ur behan....othrwise u wud get beatn again...... n i dnt knw weathr ur she is a no lipstick type n high iq type grl , bt i do knw dat she isnt a nice grl!!!

bi take care SILLY.


Cherubin said...

Hey bro... uhm... iq of a cheese burger? sister who scratches you? a bad driver? if you had tried to stay away from girls earlier, your task has been certainly made easier... :)

Animosity said...

did you by any chance, study at some modelling agency? i mean girls=girls don't walk around college with make-up. and if they did (and you were so revolted) you should have gone and tried to speak to the rest of the girls=girls that make up 95% of the college population.
hmmm well the reason you hurt her was probably because you don't know, or never have dealt with girls before. maybe you need to let your sheild down, talk to few, i'am sure you will find plenty who are smart than even a maharja mac

Akanksha said...

i guess enpugh has been said about your post buddy....!!
I hvnt had many girl friends in life...thats a tragedy though as i am also a girl....but never liked anything about them !! Yes , the driving thinigie is abs correct! i myself have hit so may ;)But i guess its high time now that i start believing in my clan! so go might find a sensible enough one!! if not..relax , the world is not coming to an end!!

Dreamcatcher said...

You have devoted an entire post to creatures whom you have a lot of disdain for..
dude you are going to have the entire female population out to kill you at this rate. Granted some girls do wear a lot of makeup, are wishywashy and silly. But sterotyping them tht is blasphmeous or do you just like creating controversies?

Dreamcatcher said...

Ever heard- hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?

Sumit said...

You are damn rite on the driving.. thing.. Though I wudn't agree on much of the other stuff..

Anat said...

Hey great observations....
cant live without girls, no matter how hard I try, its absolutely necessary to have some eye candy in an engineering college, helps you to relax. unfortunately our college has uniforms, but fortunately a new mall has opened up right across the road from college.
Yep one fine day, i realized too that {some} girls were something different from the dumb things I had thought them to be,,

Cherubin said...

I don't believe this...does everyone think girls are dumb and can't drive??? I'll say, I don't have that many girls as my friends but I prefer the girls I know anytime more than the zillions guys I'm friends with

dfg said...

First time here thru momentry lapse and u right good man.
first u said all the bad thing abotu girls....and then when ur finishing ur trying( hard) to find good points.....which is very difficult isn't it...just kidding.
keep writing man and will come back..

abhinav said...

@TT : thank god im not coming to delhi fr another 2 months !dont drink n drive.

@Harsh : happy life with ur girl dude:).as for my encounters , its a ceasefire.

@Nidhi : please cycle se travel kar na.pollution ka bhi jhanjhat nahi and na hee kisi ki jaan ko khatra.

@Priya :u r guy material.god must be a lil drowsy wen he made u a girl.

@Neha:u r the one and only silly ,silly girl.aur kisko bola maine ? n yeah i told u about that ragging thing:).n listen miss neha , she is the best and most sweet girl i have known ever.yeah she has a mooch , but she is most nice ,so you better not say anything against her;) !

@Angel : i did not say that sister.i said slightly higher than that of a cheese ur case , it may be more like that of a burger and fries and a coke.ohk , now dont wave your IIT admission letter;)

@animosity:yeah it wasnt an eternal lakme fashion week at my college.and thats wat i have said , that it was my snooty ideas about girls which kept me frm gettin things right.

@akanksha : oh yeah , even in an all guys existence , its not suffocating ! ;).

@dc : all i said was that i had problems with girls n their ways.that doesnt make em bad , just coz i shared a not so friendly relation with the girl world.i dnt wish to rake up anything.anyways this aint going to get me in the papers.

@sumit:looks like the last line i put was the only sensible one:)

@Anat:thank god fr malls.makes shopping all that easier , i mean.

@Angel :will a man on the street u ppl r driving thru prefer that ?

@Prakash:tnx fr hitting my blog buddy.n tnx fr a kind word in this cruel big mean girl-infested world;)

Vidhi said...

aha! so that's wut u really think abt girls! dunno where this gender war started, each is too happy to put the other in poor light. i think every individual behaves differently from every other individual on why blame girls alone?! i knw so many guys who dress like crazy! ya, i understand interaction is imp to know the other person. and i havent knocked a single guy (or vehicle) on street till date! *touch wood*

Animosity said...

did you forget to mention that girls are bitcher than bitcheS?
if no... then you missed out the core nature of a woman(girl)
female friends are horrible

divya said...

jesus! i cant believe this. every one here seems to have something to say against girls. we`r not that bad or perhaps all u guys have met only the wrong types. and about make up look when a girl dresses up she`s not doing it for the sole reason of attracting evry man around.. it could be for personal satisfaction now who wouldnt want to look. girls are vain its their inherent nature so what? theres nothing to be apologetic bout it. girls make great frenz infact i`d trust my girl frenz more than the boys on any given i sound like some feminist morcha`s president.

Abhi said...

@vidhi , animosity , divya : i did not mean to offend anyone . i really mean that.i was just saying wat i felt.n i am not that important anyways.

n vidhi , why aint u posting these days , too much work ?

n divya , all the best fr ur exams.must be goin on , rite ?

n animosity..umm...i dont know much to say anything !

karthika said...

hey girls arent that bad after all..its just that u dont know them well...ur still in a learning process.

Simi said...

"variety is the spice of life"....

hi buddy...well nice post..well put too...u know expect girls behave normally as 'homosapiens'..treat thm alike...
AGREE some girls r reallyyyy mishy mushy....jaane do yar..not ur TYPE..;)....some hav brains too na as per ur standards...but intellect n make-up arent mutually exclusive sets buddy..h abt gals decent,b'ful n intelligent too...!

P.S:->a piece of gyaan needed....y the hell i donn get time to write on blog....well may b after landing into B-school aftr engg..i may hav ...:D

Sowndarya said...

Hey! Why did you have to hurt her man??!!!! You said she was all you indirectly wished a girl to be made of. Then?!!! I was puzzling all y'day..................and am still now.........

Chloe said...

Oooooh? You don't like grrls?
....I can consider it...
Lol. I'm a girl, and lol, I HATE being a girl!
Ppl say, you don't do make-ups, and r least botherd about earrings and jewels...u were being a boy but God changed his mind midway and made u a grrl!
lol, no objections!!!

hmmm said...

whatever u say guy...but believe me i loved each n evey thing written by u.
its nearly 4:00 am started reading it att 11:00pm...i am glad this blog made me sit so long.
start loing a woman u will get to know how lovly they r even with earthworms in ears n lipstick in mouth.:):)
Gudiya ko acha nahi lage ga ...aisa mat likho ladkiyon ke liye........
n lemme tell u...."girls attract u so much tht u decide to dedicate a post to them"
I am 22 years n working with Quark:):)

Sunil said...

Dear Abhinav, It seems that u think and analyse about everything happening around u. I think feeling of lonliness pervade over u despite of the fact that u r suggounded by ur. buddies. it is nothing but the natural and all powerful attraction of ur soul towards that big big magnate....GOD.I feel that someday u would definitely try to find the "Purpose of our Life". With good wishes for ur. exams. Sunil

a girl said... about anti-fem tirade but hey if you actually meant what you said when you said this

" And any sensible guy wont care about how you look.And if someone is attracted by your looks , he can only desire you , not love you."

you are then the most amazing guy in the world(apart from ofcourse some Hugh Jackman lookalike who felt the exact same way too ;))

so take heart...btw I did like your ramblings too

Anonymous said...

cool post :) one lives and learns, aint it? me too caused smbdy a lot of hurt..we r bak to being friends but the pain still lurks. but out of the whole exp, realised guys aren't that bad a clan..most part of the thing is pride and prejudice :)
btw u write really well..i guess that's coz it comes straight from the heart!

-- Ruchika

Anonymous said...

Saw the hmmm comment today.

Wht does "n lemme tell u...."girls attract u so much tht u decide to dedicate a post to them"
I am 22 years n working with Quark:):) " mean???


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Anonymous said...

hmmm ...Abinav uncle zamaanna badal gaya hain.i have seen girls with an IQ that my project Manager does not have.After all wat that matters is common sense and how u deal with probs in ur Life.I dont drink but my GF does,i dont smoke but my GF smokes,I dont use four letter words but my GF does.Girls can do anything that a guy can do and much more.They aren't dumb, or maybe abhi tak koi brain child se pala nahi pada hain .... insecure or rothe chod jayagi.. :) Nari shakthi!!!

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