I love this room.All this dirt. All these dirty plates still lying here.I love this room.I bet this is the dirtiest place within a radius of 1.42 kilometers , as there is a public toilet at a distance of 1.42 kilometers.My cousion julie stays there.But I stay here , W 204 , Boys hostel , IIM C.Oh , did I intoduce myself ? I am Lucy .A fly .I share the room with Abhinav.If you think I am too insignificant , you have never had a fly entering your nose.
My parents are at Delhi.No siblings.Family planning .That too without condoms.Ever seen a condom for a fly ? My dad and mom are based at the dustbin of a fast food center at Delhi.Pretty posh area.But I am worried .All that fast food is doing a lot of harm to their weights.The last time I flew back to Delhi , mom looked so fat , I thought it was a frog.And to think she was once the most pretty fly around , all the frogs and cockroaches and flies of the area used to stand outside our dustbin to catch a glimpse of mom.Mom says once a dog proposed to her .My dad , unfortunately , cant move.It was a terrible mid air collision with our neighbour Ms.Jenny the honeybee.My dad lost three legs.So he just lies bent at home and writes poetry with his remaining limbs...I really miss my family ,but have to be here at IIM C for my degree in Garbage management.
Abhinav's cellphone is ringing now.This guy sleeps , and a Tata sumo runs over him , and he will sit up , look around with half opened eyes , yawn , and go back to sleep.Oh , thank god , he is moving now.Yeah , got the phone.
"Uhmm..Hullo...yeah....mommy...yeah..had my breakfast..hmm..uh ?...we had ..dosas for breakfast today...yeah..masala...masala dosas...yeah..ye..with the sambar ...yeah mom yeah..the chutney tooo maaa...yeah...........huh ..nah nah im here..ye I had breakfast ma , I had it...ohkkk...yeah i did not ..did not have the breakfast..ok , I will eat something now..yeah...bbye..yeah i WILL eat mummy ..bye".
This guy never learns.He still doesnt know how to balance a balance sheet.and still doesnt know how to lie to his mommy. Now he sees the clock.He looks at the hands of the clock .His sleepy eyes open up and his eyeballs shoot out to a distance of two feets outside his face.He has missed the 'strategic management' class yet again.Imagine you are a british white guy.Your white wife is in undergoing her delivery in the hospital room , while you wait outside , anxiously.After a lot of waiting , the doctor breezes out all excited , and yells "twin boys !".You let out a chuckle and run inside.twin boys.One negro.The other chinese.The expression on the husband's face.Thats the expression on Abhinav's face now.His class attendance records are getting to be so low , they are almost underground.And he is as related to studies as you are to Brad Pitt.I bet his professors will be cutting out big thermocol F's to stick on his grade sheets.
But the poor guy is not to be blamed for this kumbhkaran-sque sleep.After all , he was involved in a brainstorming session till late last night.A couple of his group members had came over.They were supposed to prepare a presentation on sports utility vehicles segment of the Indian Industry.As I perched comfortably on the bookrack and eyed the boys ( now I am a girl too ) , the one in the maroon shorts and flourescent yellow Tee shirt settled at the computer and gawked at the priyanka chopra wallpaper .Now you have not read psychology.But you dont need to.Three guys.1 in the morning.Boys hostel.If you expect them to talk about vehicles instead of girls , you might as well expect ostriches to speak in hindi and Monica Lewinsky to marry Manmohan Singh .So they got into talking about girls.They argued passionately and came to the conclusion that the girls at IIM calcutta were as pretty as 83 year old women , except one , who was chosen to be as pretty as a 76 year old woman with warts.
Now he has dozed off again.Today is friday.He has the "services marketing" class in some time.I hope someone rings his cell and wakes him up.Even an Airtel executive calling him up about the chance to dine with Sachin Tendulkar would be appreciated by me.He needs to wake up now.
But before you think those guys stopped at girls , nah.Its an IIM after all.They did get onto the sports utility vehicles(SUV) project.After some three minutes , they decided the problem with SUVs in india was their high prices.The trio of budding managers decided to suggest changes to bring down the prices of a SUV .Replace the engine with a Bajaj Chetak scooter's.Replace the seats with wooden ones.Make it a pedal driven thing , with the passengers hitting the pedals to drive the vehicle.Take off the roof.Take away the flashy headlights and put two candles on the bonnet to help night driving.
I am sorry , but I can not take this any more.He has to wake up now.No phones , no one knocking.I will have to get into action now.Mom says no one can keep sleeping with a fly in his ear.I am all set to find out if its true.
This is for "her".If you read this , just drop a comment.I can't reach you.Just let me know that you are safe in all these floods....Damn. Lucy ! Get out of my ear now!
Added later :
Everybody says I am not fine.But why I am feeling fine :
1."She" is fine .
2.My dear sis Angel just left a comment on my blog proclaiming the return of the queen.
3.Lucy is out of my ear.I have promised her to get up on time from now on.
4.I presented the SUV presentation earlier in the day ( yeh , we have classes on sundays).My group has been awarded an A+ , the highest grade anyone can get.Its like a monkey getting to kiss Aishwarya.Obviously , we left out the pedals and candles ideas.