Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Short Circuit

Clunk.The pebble hits the steely body of the electricity pole.I have hit the pole 2 times out of 5.Adi has hit 3 out of 5 times.Dhania has it none out of 5.Hitting a non-curvy , non-sexy and cold electric pole is all we guys can do waiting for Bus No.764 outside our Engineering college at Dwarka , Delhi.Its been more than 25 minutes and not a single 764 has come this way.The three of us look at a guy zoom past on a red bike and send up a fast prayer wishing a massive puncture hits both its tyres.And just as we see nothing happening and him zooming out of sight , we see this camel cart coming our way.The camel cart is this wooden thing being pulled by a camel , coincidentally. We look at each other and solemnly nod in unison.Right.We are getting on this thing.We thrust out our arms . The rajasthaani turbaned guy who sits behind the constipated looking camel , nods his big head which is an invitation which says - on this auspicious occasion of you three fools not finding a bus to get on and not having bikes to ride on , run along and jump onto my deluxe camel cart.Dhania runs on , throws his bag onto the wooden floor of the cart and effortlessly hauls himself onto the ambling cart.Adi next.On in a flash.I gallop in , throw my bag and Dhania grabs it.Without breaking the momentum , I place my hands on the wood and leap.Uggh.I land back on the road as the wooden floor proves a little too high.No problems.Here I come again.whoooo.Shit.Just a little more and I would have been on our camel coach this time.Adi and dhania are beginning to giggle by now.I am starting to laugh sheepishly by now.I run in , grab adi's outstretched arm and make this gravity defying leap , and collapse laughing onto a laughing Adi and dhania, finally onto the cart.We three laugh , the rajashtani cart wallah laughs , we look at the camel tail swiping flies off its bottom and laugh some more.

This incident from my engineering days is just one of the reminders of a fact which stays with me all through the day.I am a short boy.I am short.( To be read with the intensity and solemnity of "Rahul , I am pregnant" ).

When I walk down the street , old women drop their shopping bags in horror and shriek "eeeks , what happenned to you , you are so short !". Tourists want to get their photographs clicked with me and go back to Bhutan and Sri Lanka and show their wives how they found a strangely short boy in India.Old men stop me and ask if some sort of surgery can help me.
Ok.Relax.The last paragraph is a victim of exaggeration.But I am short.I barely reach 5 ' 4" - 5' 5".Some names are just so readymade for me.People have been calling me "Chotu" , "Bacchu" , "Little Wonder" ,"Pocket transistor", ever since I crawled out in this world.Though my personal favourite is "Short circuit".It has an electric feel to it.
When I was a little kid , or rather a "little-er" kid at school , I used to get angry when anyone used to tease me.I used to plan things like pushing the tall bully off the school roof during the games period.I used to dream of drinking buckets of complan and growing up to be a seven feet giant who can call the rest of the world a world of pocket transistor sized people.But as I grew up , or rather did not grew up much , I knew this world will always be a world of big surround sound theatre systems rather than transistors to me.And I thought , I cant survive like this.Feeling small all through the day , seething with anger at the bullies and meanies who used to tease me.I can not hate myself , I have to spend a lifetime with myself.I had to accept that i am short but not inferior.I am just different.And I learnt the most important art which still makes my life blissful - I learnt to laugh at myself.Not the lack of self esteem , but a meeting with the reality and getting rid of any false egos.I learnt to laugh at myself.And I realised that most of times when we fuel our egos to lose our peace of mind .
And everytime the giant aussies put their hands together to applaud as a sweat soaked 5'4" Sachin runs in to complete his century , I wink to myself. When a tiny Rajpaal Yadav draws cheers from the audience in a packed cinema hall , I wink to myself. And when the IIM C bunch popularly voted me as the "Johnny Lever of IIM C" at the diwali night function last year, I winked to myself.I lost on height.Maybe no girl will want to marry me.Maybe all my life I will be teased.Maybe I will have trouble jumping onto a camel cart.
But all my life , I know I will never take myself seriously and all my life , I will laugh at myself and at this amusingly ego infested world .I can laugh at myself , and that minimises my ego and reminds me of how amusing this life is.What seemed like a forced compromise has turned out to be an entirely different viewpoint .What seemed a physical lacking , has turned out to be an education in attitude.
And its not that bad.My parents needed just one shopping spree to buy me clothes for a couple of years as I drank complan and yelled happily "look ma , I am not growing ! The pants we bought last year still fit perfectly".My little bed saves the forests by needing less wood.I can slip behind the tables and doze well concealed during the classes .I need less time to bend down and tie my shoe laces.The top of my head is farther from the sun than most guys and that keeps me so cool during summers.Yeah I can only watch in awe as the rest of the guys play basketball , but then jesus never said one needs to play basketball to die happily.


Ms. V said...

Ooh! This is definitely one of your finer posts. Really well-written, great clarity of thought, wonderful narration... to cut a long story short (Hee hee! I couldn't resist this one.) ... good job! You might want to give thought to the fact that the idiom only says "short and sweet".

Sameer said...

Now that's what I call making a virtue out of compulsion ;)
Just kidding, one of the better composed bunch of words I have ever come across.
Keep up the good work, buddy!!!

Lost gal said...

have been reading ur posts for a while....but this was d best post so far....

Learning to laugh at ur shortcomings...(no pun intended here ;-)...can take u a loong way in life .

U really write well...

Vaibhav said...

Dude!! all my puns have already been used up!

Funny as ever muh man! and wise too!

dreamz said...

"Good things come in small packages",someone consoled me when I was upset coz of my short stature :-)

Anonymous said...

like they say..its not the size of the dog in the fight..its the size of the fighti n the dog..

Cherubin said...

Hey bro... I applaud for you :) there are very few ppl who can accept it and still be happy :)

Anonymous said...

5-4 is not short! there are ppl who are 5-3!!! :p

freakzoid said...

Hey bro did u really get selected as Johny lever of IIMC. REmember I commented the same to u once in 3 Sem. Yaar, u r perfect example of gud things coming in small packages

abhinav 'short' circuit said...

@Vidya : Oh man , such nice words from your side.I am feeling around 2 and a half inches taller now.And please dont kill any insects , Maneka Gandhi wont like that.;)

@Sameer:Yeah a forced virtue.;)If you cant beat them , join them , or pay a gangster to get them beaten.

@Nish : Thanx nish.Good that you liked it.Best post ? I cant recall if I enjoyed writing any of the previous ones more than this.. have a "short" memory.:)

@vaibhav : me too.And wise ?That makes me feel like a sage. just get me a "kamandal" and a saffron robe and a ticket to the himalayas , and I am ready to leave.

@dreamz :Oh yeah they do.I am just one little exception.

@anon : Bow wow !( right sir !).

@Angel : Oh please.No standing ovations now , sis .:).and happy i am , no "long" faces.right ?:)

@Anon : Thats not.And yeah , my 14 year old neighbour is 5'3".But I am 23 !:-0

abhinav "short" circuit said...

@freakazoid : yeah yaar , I did !Now i wont give one of those "" speeches thanking my parents and neighbours and talking about world peace.:)And tune bola tha kya 3rd sem memory amit.And kya yaar , me and close as Mallika and decency.And kuch likh apne blog par.

I said...

u had a camel cart ride..still better than us..but in my graduation and at a dingy place we(girls) had the guts to take a ride on a bullock cart in the most happening place of the city..ask reems how she felt ;) i was toh born besharam...poor girl suffered...he he

U know i am also in love with that rajpaal yadav..he makes me laugh :) and u too...and its ok yaar if u are short..whats a big deal...u are in IIms ;) not all tall guys can make it there ;) but munnu u are a sachii ka munnu....u are shorter than me...

Hence MUNNU Bhai..

Miss Sea said...

My parents needed just one shopping spree to buy me clothes for a couple of years as I drank complan and yelled happily "look ma , I am not growing ! The pants we bought last year still fit perfectly".


5'8". aka lambu. in sixth standard, one of my classmates, whom i had bugged, announced that noone will ever marry me because i am so tall. and my lil experience in this world tells me that most guys i know are shorter than me :|

amit said...

yaar college ke dino ki yaad dila di tune. waitin fr buses, taking lifts in tempos, trucks, cyclewallah n wht not.... those were really fun filled dayz.

do u remember tht we had a idiom in hindi in junior classes

'bada hua to kya hua jaise ped khazur,
panthi ko chaya nahin, phal laage aati door'

then u hv people like sachin,gavaskar, napoleon even hitler n so on who has small heights but had a very high stature.

btw, i can see my name on ur blog links .... n i feel quite happy :).

Sowndarya said...

Hey Man! All good things come in small packages!Infact I'm the shortest of all my granpa's grandkids ;-)My youngest cousin who is doing his 3rd is competing with me and might as well win over by next year. There is a saying in Telugu that, Shorties have strong indeed gave me an idea for my next post :-)

I just admire the way you put your thoughts. Keep up with the good work and also your studies!

Harsh said...

Hehe what can i say .. everything has already been said .. Perfect attitude dude..

a girl said...

Slowly but surely ....I am becoming a fan of your blogs some of which are genuinely funny but they also have this quality of making the reader want to root for you....just like Rajpal Yadav's comnedy. You want this guy to end up the winner.
Yep..your blog makes for some interesting reading and some great insight into a good person.
^sob ^sob....did I get too senti now??

rohit kaul said...

short circuit?? wateva happened to gud old cute MUNNU??? yeh kaisa dhokha hai??



Anonymous said...

hey !!

niice post.. best so far !! :)

keep writing dude..

all gud things come packed in smallpakages... :D .. n there r ppl shoter than u !!

yeah.. if u can laugh at it .. u can live with it.. :D..
this comment looks like a summary to ur post :D ..

smile n spread smiles :)coz life is too short to regret.. cry .. or waste on think abt what we lack !!
bbye :)

abhinav aka chota chakku said...

@S : Oh jee ships didi , i fully agree with your noble views.about your being a born besharam atleast:p.just kidding.and bhaiya a camel cart is worse than a bullock cart , so i win in "besharmi".besharam no.1.

@TT : Hai allah !you are the sort of girl i always try to avoid .and dont worry u will get a tall , dark and handsome dude.waise hows the weather up there ?:)

@lakho : haan bhai . there have been many great short guys , sachin , napoleon , gavaskar , lal bahadur shastri , abhinav....the list goes on n on n on...not a short list.

@Sowndarya : Ui ma ! a short you see , with short girls being in such short supply , I cant afford to let you people go away easily , i havta get married !

@Harsh : bhai e-hug ( i am not gay!)to you for sending those aishwarya pics to me.And the rest of you , no sting operation taking place here.perfectly under-18 level pics.relax.

@A girl : just celebrities and fans and coolers and airconditioners here.Just guys sharing a little bit of their relax.and contact my secretary for further clarifications you senti fan.:p.kidding.

@RK :Jaise krishan jee ke 100 naam hote hai waise hee hamare bhee kaee names se jaana jaata hai naughty baalak.

@Nidhi :Please write a summary of this post in not more than 40 words.were u asked ths question ? :p.n yeah , life is too short , so no cribs , just smiles...and a acrobat passwrd recovery software too.

Anonymous said...

Hey Nc Post man,

Waz searching 4 sm 1 2 b in da club. Nice 2 find u.

BTW AAmir Khan,Adolf Hitler,Napolean Boneparte, Sachin Tendulkar all r short but yet hv left a mark in the world.


Anonymous said...


divya said...

now this is a great post. u dont come across such people everyday. people who can admit their short coming and live with it happily are scarce . happiness is a state of mind and has nothing to do with the way u look or the things u the way amir must be 5.. something and i still root for him. i started of liking u for ur posts now i`m beggining to respect u for the person u are. and thats saying a lot. amazing progress!!

wtfdude said...

hay good things come in all shapes and sizes ;)

if you didnt notice, all short people are smart, including you!. Sachin, Sunil etc.

i think you will some of the best things in life..

priya said...

hey .. me being really tall for a girl have been teased endlessly on jus one note..which i hate!! "oh my gawd.. ur daughter's so tall!! ur gonna have a tuff time finding a groom for her.." idiots!!
wats the big deal with being short?? i find most of the short guys to be definitions of intelligence.. calling abhinav and short ones of his kind.. kindly come back fm cloud 9!!! :-)


ahaan said...

Hi Abhinav ,Dude u rock and so does ur blog.....The best and the most hilarious of ur posts till now .

Moreover the comments here also require a special mention .All the comments r worth going through cause they just follow in same spirit of the post ...

Ur days at engineering make me remember my days when we used to go on anything other than our feet.....

Think even i can learn from ur quality of laughing at urself .

I think ebody had somethin or the other that we r not comfortable with but we seem to forget all the good things that we have ....

U know even my friend is short and he laughs and says "so what even Tom cruise and Salman Khan r short " :-)

SonnyBoy said...

Abay, what are you on, this time man? One of the best posts coming out of your blog!
Keep pouring forth Mi'Lord!!

abhinav "short" tendulkar said...

@Anon : yeah man , welcome me to the shorty club now !n we shall celebrate , a basketball game maybe !

@anon : ya dhania it was.only the name was a vegetable sounding one , the dood drove a CBZ , sported long hair and always flunked !;)

@divya happiness is a state of said it buddy , n im no good a guy , just that its smiles and smiles i wanna see , so cribbing n hurting others is no more my habit !no exams , wow , i love a life like yours !

@wtfdude : hey all ye gals , you listened to this guy ? i am smart he says ! yohoo , now marry me , one of you !wishing u all the best fr a fun life too , dude !

@Priya : hey priya , im feeling heavenly up here , will hang up fr some more time ! can you arrange fr a TV set with cable connection up here ? i dont wanna miss cartoon network , even if im on cloud 9 !

@Ahaan : thanx man , n u said it . who rock are all you guys and girls puttin in all these nice words fr a short kid like me .i tell you , all u guys reassure me -the world is a great place to live in !thanx guys !

@sonnyboy : hey sandy , this blog is nothing but a place i try to have some fun.n everything i do , i do it for you.but i am not gay !

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Hey dude, you have been tagged with the Book meme at GWBE's. Do oblige.

Ranj said...

Great Post.

And yes,I identify with what you've written here. I'm "the kid" thanks to my small build!
Though I must admit, this has led to some moments of mirth too :)

Aj said...

Hey Short_Ckt!
Great Post buddy
One thing i would like to add
It is really immaterial whether you are into too much of Rajpal yadavish or too much Bachanism...what really matters is how you get along with it.
You have done a great job at that !
Losing one's ego is the hardest job
Even the greatest of people sometimes fall prey to ego incited misdeeds.

I really admire u 'man'
You can make an identity whereever you go

Miss Sea said...

tall hona chahiye..dark and handsome negotiable hai ;) but intelligence COMPULSORY hai. :D

virdi said...

sexy likhya hai yaar.. i am also short 5'5" and yes one of the Jonny short lever's of my IIt batch too.. bloody just that they all call me "Bauna Shaitaan"
cheers to sachin..

divya said...

life without exams sure rocks but these days are numbered and even before i know it i`ll be in the fifth semester trying to make sense of unix and system software

jammer said...

hey abhinav
hats off man.. gr8 post and a greater attitude. thats the way it shud be...keep going man, u write really awesome :)

Neha said...

chota thts a good one too.. n hey good things do come in small packages.. iv got a lot of good friends who'r short :)

n if its any consolation ur still taller than i am :D

abhinav "chotu chai wallah" said...

@GWBE : Books.Me and books are as related as Abraham Lincoln and P.T.Usha are.But I think i will try.

@Ranj : Oh yeah ranjhu , it does add some fun to life.And Id prefer to be a happy short guy than a tall guy with a long face.

@Aj : Hey ajay , do you admire me !And four years of college , you never said that.I think we can meet up and "admire' each other a little more closely the next time Im in delhi.;-)

@TT : oye TT , Intelligence ka kya karegee yaar ? Dil dekhiyo dil.Intelligence...are shaadi karnee hai ya IIT kee coaching karwani hai bechare se ;-)

@Virdi : ha ha bauna shaitan , yaar ive never had such a creatively devilish name.and while u r scanning them for yourself , if u see any short girls of marriageable age , drop me a mail.
cheers to Lal Bahadur Shastri.

@Divya:If you can fool them for four semesters , you can do so for another four.Dont worry , one day your education will be over , and you will have a blissful life.Atleast this is what my parents tell me.

@jammer : Thanx jammy.:-)

@Neha : You like chota chakku.I dont like too much , it sounds like some streetside gangster's name.And taller than doesnt make me sad atleast.:-)

Miss Sea said...

Donon mein se ek samjahdaar ho to acha rehta hai. my criteria is that he should be more intelligent than i am. let him suffer the misery of having a foolish spouse. i dont want it . ;)

sona said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sona said...

hi abhinav

ur posts r getting funnier than ususal....coments r increasing at exorbitant rates....
m very tall..5'8...imagine alws found myself talller than most of the guys....girls tell me to walk a bit far or they will feel evn shorter...relatives think hw they will find me a suitable guy....searching for without heels, flats sandals takes days of shopping....i get jeans frm guys' racks, more cloth to stitch a suit for me..while searching for a sari for farewell,i had to try so mny...they didnt fit me welll...u knw about all the nick names also...wat else...m happy to be tall...beside engg...modeling is also a gud option for me....for finding a guy..AB Bby is still single....:):)

Ms. V said...

Oye. Blog kar.

abhinav said...

@TT :
"my criteria is that he should be more intelligent than i am."

Or may we say that he should be less foolish than you are.:p.Ab fir gussa gussa mat ho jaiyo !

@sona : ui ma !being a tall girl seems as much a problem as being a short guy.And kasam bhawani kee , AB baby kee taraf aankh utha kar na dekhna :p.He's mine.

@Vidya : Oye.Blog karunga.:p

Harsh said...

all the big time dons all seem to be the short types ... Dawood for example .. and they seem to be pretty proud of it ... how else do u explain .. Chotta Rajan and Chotta Shakeel
hehe u can have a new career i say

ir said...

hi..just wanted to say after reading ur blog tht, if not ur stature, ur ideas make u a big man..will keep dropping by for more..

kirti said...

u have got self realization and that's a great thing. come on man,take up the world.

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just_a_girl said...

With the adoration u are getting from such a HUGE crowd, who wait for your posts, who compete to comment first...
who say a silent prayer so u are always happy, because you give them so many happy moments, Abhinav, you should feel like a seven foot giant!!!!
We are all your FANS!!!!!! Cheers!!!!!!!

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Hemaanshu said...

Came across your blog yesterday and started reading from the first post of yours...

this one for sure is the most refined one...

my target would be to see you graduating from IIM-C by tommorrow evening... through your posts obviously :)

keep this going!!!

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