Tuesday, June 21, 2005

LOC : Life out of clothes

1912: Titanic sinks.

1945: Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombed.

1975: Indira Gandhi imposes emergency in India.

2005: Washerwoman at New Boys Hostel , IIM C goes missing.

Our washerwoman is missing.Its been more than a week now.She has not turned up at our hostel.
Dirty clothes lie crumpled in the plastic bucket just outside the door of my room , gathering dust.The wooden racks in the corridor which lovingly held freshly washed shirts and shorts , dripping water onto the floor , now stare at me with empty arms. I lie in my room , staring at the ceiling.Looking at the blades of the fan cutting imperfect circles.Reminds me of how the drier of the fully automatic washing machine at my home used to rotate in those gracious rounds.
I hear someone outside.Is she here ? Is she ? I jump out of the bed and step out in the corridor with an eager anticipation.Its a cat , trying to grab something from the plate kept outside , in which I had those incredibly shitty Maggi noodles yesterday night.She looks at me .Meows.Crumpled clothes in the bucket.Empty drying lines.I sneak back into the bed and stare at the ceiling.
My mind drifts off to those days.Seems like yesterday.Carefree.Covered bodies.Freshly washed clothes smelling of detergents.How happy I was.Used to carelessly fling the dirty pair of jeans in the bucket kept outside.And the next day it would be there.Washed.Neatly ironed.A few burns.But far from a burnt sandwich.Vintage days.
And now.I look at the shorts I am wearing.It a recordbook of my culinary exploits over the last four days.There is this fresh ketchup stain I pasted near the right pocket half an hour ago.Thats what happens when u try to dip a sandwich in a ketchup bowl kept in your lap while trying to catch a "mithun-da" action movie on the computer.They should have told me before mithunda yelled "Ma kasam!!!" so loudly that i spilled the ketchup onto my shorts.Oh , there is also this "Shahi Paneer" gravy stain on the left side.Or is it the cheese that fell from the pizza ? I have to scrape it off and taste it to know the answer.There must be many more footprints of what I ate ,all over my shorts.But I think you are already feeling full.
But the good part is that I dont see any stains on the tee shirt on my body.Because I dont see a tee shirt on my body. When your washerwoman is missing over the last seven days , dignity is something you put on the pillion seat of the scooter of life.Dignity can wait when you dont know what you will wear the next time u step out of the bathroom.
Just one light yellow chequed shirt lies in my wardrobe.That can cover me up for tomorrow.Day after tomorrow ? The question threatens me with an future projected scene involving semi nudity in the class.A topless me in the class, though hopefully appreciated by the girls , wont exactly generate a lot of accolades from the professors.I have to cover my top when going to class.That worries me.
I called home in the morning.Ma has told me something about putting in the clothes in a lot of water and letting the clothes stay in water for half an hour and then putting in a lot of detergent and then washing them hard and then taking the clothes out and wringing them and then letting them dry.Looks as easy as Bangladesh beating Australia.Oops.Now that they have actually beaten the Aussies, ill change it.Looks as easy as making Salmaan Khan keep on a shirt over an entire movie.Im sorry , but I am just too obsessed with clothes right now.
Ill have to come out of this inertia soon.Ill will have to carry out my debut "clothes-washing" innings soon.Otherwise I have an alternative plan.I will wrap around a newspaper.And since I am at a Business School , The Economic Times seems an apt one to cover myself with.Business Dressing ?

Listen Miss.washerwoman , I would smile on your sense of absentminded-ness if you burn a gateway through my favorite blue shirt.I would knowingly leave a minimum of five rupees in the hip pocket of every trousers i put in for washing.If i get the time , I will help you in washing on the weekends.I will get you the most wonderful detergents which will keep your hands as soft as a baby's bottom.I will give you extra cash on every diwali , christmas , Ambedkar Jayanti , Guru Nanak Jayanti, Makar Sankranti , Maha Shivratri , Holi and Hanuman Jayanti.But please come back.I need you.The new boys hostel needs you.

29 comments:

ANGEL_NIDHI said...

whats up with u???

ma maki advise man lo baccha n wash ur clothes.. nahi to next post will be 'A' rated :P

fir that comment wont look out of place..

and u .. u .. u .. mujhe pizza ki yaad dila di.. shahi paneer .. yummy ..

chalo newayz..
bye tc
.. n u still dint post a msg on my shout box .. so tht i can lift that ban .. :P

Abhi said...

@Nidhi : yaar ek baat batao.is surf excel better than Tide ? cant decide.N i CANT even comment in ur shoutbox.total ban.completely banned.

Miss Sea said...

no ragging of fuchas ? ;)

ANGEL_NIDHI said...

ha ha ha ha ha!!

ye hua kaise ???
i mean banned :P

pata nahi yaar !!
all my computer fundas failed :P

it seems the haloscan and myshoutbox guyz have baned iimc ip addresses :P

gawd plz mera iimc me na hoe :P

tide v/s surf :P u find out and tell us :P

bye tc

amit said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
amit said...

hey abhi u can certainly take inspiration frm bangladesh beating aussies. so with bucket full of dirty clothes in one hand n with sum detergent n brush in the other, march down to the bathroom n start the assault.

rohit kaul said...

dude.....I tell this to u with heavy heart but its the absolute truth.So Plzz bear with me wen u read this coz only i know wat hell is going thru me wen i write this
:(

Forget abt surf and tide use nirma coz...hema jaya sushama aur vimla sabki pasand nirma :D:D:D


adios

rohit

I said...

Vowww, i love to see guys washing...do call me on that particular day..there are other crazy girls like me who would love to watch this episode ;) or shall i call it a film?

Heyy one genuine doubt? what did u do exactly that she had to run...:P

Control yaar...

Ships

divya said...

rude rude rude! two comments and still no reply.. under normal circumstances i would have stopped commenting altogether, but i enjoy reading ur posts so much that i`ve decided to keep my ego under wraps. and good luck with ur laundry day hopefully once ur done someone might just say "ye naya rang kaunsa hey?"

Abhi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Chandoo said...

hehe.. funny.

'washerwoman missing - mba grads stink' looks like a news paper headline. I hope the women has returned and you guys are back to the normalcy :D

Abhi said...

@TT : No fuchas right now.a week later.n i cant wait that long.just one shirt left.

@Nidhi : Jaane kya hua , kaise hua , kuch na poocho.waise surf seems better.jyada jhaag , jyada safedi.

@Amit : yeah buddy , ill make it happen.The human spirit of determination shall triumph.

@RK : Ok , dont waste my time avoiding the truth.How much did the nirma guys pay you ?

@Ships : Considering my 'expertise" at washing clothes , its expected to be something around a 3 hour movie.Please bring along ur popcorn bags.

@Divya.No rude.No rude.No rude.Just stupid.Just careless.Just sorry.Jee ye naye kapde aye hain market mein , they change colors after every washing.See , no extra costs n a different shirt every washing.

@Chandoo: Oh no no no.She aint here.Life is scary.

Ms. V said...

Is it only shirts and pants you have run out of? Or.......

Ever considered just buying new clothes? I never even need an excuse for that, and you seem to have a darn good one :D

Vaibhav said...

Ms V: What are your views on baths? Ever trouble yourself with those? :P

VagaBOND: Yet again, I totally get your pain. DO NOT fall for the easy "leave them to soak" procedure that THEY want you to follow. the easy part ends at dumping them in a bucket with detergent... then they have to be hauled to the bathroom and the soap removed with hardcore rinsing. And the more you delay it the more terrible the consequences for undies. Best thing to do, IMHO, is to stay in your clothes while taking a shower... and if you are the really propah kind, use a detergent bar.

divya said...

u lil grumbling helps doesnt it... to get noticed:-) going by the many comments posted on ur blog i can safely say that men seem to know more bout washing and detergents than the ladies.

Boldnbeautiful said...

ha ha ha, bechari washer woman, Boys hostel ki stink bardash nahi kar paayi. Baag gayi.
Waise with all the facility, I mean iron dress in hand, still guys are so shabby, Now my lord I leave it to ur imazination. ha ha

Boldnbeautiful said...

If you are real in trouble, here are some tips

Dump cloths in washing machine, put some 5 spoons of Surf excel, set the knob to Quick wash. Once done Dry it.

In case no Washing machine, then Soak a cloths in bucket full of soap water for 1 hour. Just brush the cloths & rinse in normal water 2 to 3 times. Squeeze it & dry it.

Or u can give it to Dry cleaners.

Note:- waise it is better you learn it now, else future me (Shaadi ke baad) problem hoga ha ha ha

Abhi said...

Ms.V : Clothes shopping.I know as much about it as u know about the economic policies of Lithuania.

@Vaibhav : now thats the first practical option suggested to me.Just if all of em understood my agony as u do.

@Divya : Oh yea it sure works.Only that now whenever I see ur comment im reminded of the three magical words : Rude Rude Rude.

@ BnB ( Thats bunty n babli.ok.bold n beautiful):Ma where were you ! Sucha detailed attempt at helping a out of clothes lad.That was simply so motherly nice !:)

@ALL : Well , she turned up , took away all my clothes n has vanished without returning em ! This is getting to be an emergency now !

liquid sunshine said...

u know wot u shud do???or rather u know what i used to do??befriend a day scholar (surely there has to be some???) or somebody whos living on their own and treat them to a beer and ask their maids or washing machines, as the case may be, to do the job for u:D zzzzzimble!

Ms. V said...

I know a lot more about the economic policies of Lithuania than you think I do!!!

Abhi said...

@LS : IIM C is 100% residential on campus yaar.And you need a jai-veeru type pal to make him carry a bundle of stinking clothes to home , right ? You were lucky.

@Ms.V : Oh , now I would be sorry to see any bruised egos around.I was jus kidding.But now that you know ,what do you feel about the latest tariff move announced by the FM of Lithuania ? You know his name , right ? ;)

Jam said...

Ha ha ha,

Couldn't help myself but to burst out laughing at your situation my friend. Am kind of aware of what you are going through coz the washing machines on our floor broke down one of these days , but then the good part is that I don't feed my clothes as much as you do dood.

Anyways, all the best regarding the mystery of the missing washerwoman.

Cheers.......Jam

Anonymous said...

first put the detergent in water and then soak the clothes for half an hr, silly boy :-)

Chiru said...

hehe.. IIM cal doesnot have a washing machine :)

Abhi said...

@ Jam : He he yeah buddy , my clothes are a lil overfed.

@ Anonymous : Its so tuff.I want my washerwoman !

@ Chiru : Nah man , it doesnt.Now dont pass this on to the newspaper guys.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot! Calendar forex

Anonymous said...

What a great site »

Gaurav said...

"But the good part is that I dont see any stains on the tee shirt on my body.Because I dont see a tee shirt on my body."
LolZ!! This is sooo hilarious!

Homer said...

There is nothing such as Hanuman jayanti!! :p