A long time ago , people used to watch a channel called doordarshan.If you still watch this channel , please contact the Discovery Channel team.I hear they are making some kind of documentary on "eccentric personalities and their eccentric preferences" , and they will love to feature you.
And I have to tell you this.My home did not have a satellite cable connection till May 2004.I think cable TV entered indian lives sometime in early 1990s.But all the TV at my home carried till the summer of 2004 was doordarshan.Two channels.One.Two.And then back to one.Lets not get into the reasons.But the talk of the colony used to be Mrs.Malhotra's extra marital affair,the aggarwal family feud, and the absence of cable TV at our home.
This channel , doordarshan , ran a regular news bulletin. The news there was read by women as sexy as Uma Bharti and men ashot as a cold coffee.And that was typical doordarshan.Women as plain as they get.It usually ran movies from the 1970s and the 1960s.The ones which proudly attached a little "eastmancolor" under the movie name.So while my friends watched Shahrukh stammer his way to glory , I watched Dilip Kumar ride a "taanga" in "naya daur".While salmaan attempted to destroy the indian shirts industry by promoting a "say no to shirts" campaign, I watched Manoj Kumar lose his eyes , legs and arms in every second movie.And while Karishma Kapoor wiggled her butt to "sexy sexy sexy" before drooling husbands and angry wives in cinema halls , I watched a saree-clad , no-noodle-straps, yet radiant Waheeda Rehmaan.
But thats not the point.The point is the break between the news bulletin.The time when those government sponsored advetisements came on.Say NO to drugs.Say NO to drinking.Say NO to "kandom" less sex.And say NO to girl discrimination.It showed stuff like a girl saying "bapoooooo main padna chahti hoon " , "main apne feet pe stand karna chahti hoon" , "main daaactar banna chahti hoon".These advertisements ended with the girl smilimg and clutching her degree victoriously.And then the message flashed :
Stop discriminating between boys and girls.ladka ladki barabar hain.
Treat boys and girls equally.
And I plead with the world around me.Treat boys and girls equally.
Take away the huge advantage girls get at every step of life.
Stop this "man"handling of boys.Stop treating the "UNFAIR" sex ( thats boys ) unfairly. As a sidenote , an american boy's skin is as white as snow.A south Indian girl's may be more like coca cola's color.But shes still said to belong to the fairer sex.Anyways, Let me explain the ways boys are treated unfairly.
There may be villages called daaruhera and jharsa where men drink "desi" hooch till midnight, go home , and beat their wives till the wine shop reopens.But I have never been to that village and can only write about what I see.
Have you ever driven a blood red BMW at 160 kms per hour with the car stereo playing some altaf raja song ? Neither have I.Instead I have to use a combination of auto ride , bus ride and hitchhiking to get to home each evening.Talk about asking for a lift.I stand near a barber shop after a day of hard work with my sleeves rolled up and tie loosened.I stick up my thumb to every passing vehicle.I keep an expresssion as if my wife is to have a delivery in three minutes and I need a lift.Still I have to wait for almost half the duration of a soccer match before some guy on a shaky scooter decides to stop for me.
And then this girl walks up next to me and stands there before the barber shop , seeking a lift . And the next leather clad guy on his monster bike screeches to a halt almost grazing my toes , let the dust cloud settle , looks back at the girl and asks "need a lift ,miss ?".She leaves with the uzbekistan wrestler clone.And i keep on my "I need a lift" show running.
Scene moves to the DTC bus.I am a small guy.So a lot of girls are capable of mashing me and stuffing me to make a stuffed vagabond parantha.But still these broad shouldered , biceps flaunting girls have these ladies seats reserved snugly for them.I have to stand in the crowded bus and struggle to keep my nose away from the armpits of the guy to my left and to keepmy butt away from the "dance master"-ish gay looking guy on my right.
Now for the interviews.Me in a starched white shirt.Navy blue trousers.A necktie.I walk in.The interviewer looks like a cross between a crocodile and kadar khan.I hand in my certificate file.He hardly looks at them.How many types of fan regulators do you know about ? , he asks with a frown. But saaaar , I am a computer engineer , I protest.He looks at me like his cellphone has more grey cells than my head.Havent u studied electrical engineering in term 3 ? Now I cant tell him that I got 37% marks in electrical engineering and dont know much about a fan , forget its regulator.I am out before you can spell regulator.
The next candidate in is a girl.White starched salwaar kameez.Enchanting smile.Pretty eyes.Heavenly ears.Wonderful nose.Even the hair in her nose would have looked marvellous.She walks in.The crocodile-kadar khan cross looks at her and forgets about his overweight and loud wife.He smiles widely.She sits down.She hands him her file.He goes through it with the interest of a teenager going through a porn magazine for the first time.OHHH , you have learnt Bharatnatyam ?? !! Tell me about it , miss ! And the next10 minutesare about the "mudraas" and whatever ways they twist their bodies in Bharatnatyam.And then the interview ends.No fan regulators.She is selected.I get ready for some other crocodile clone some other day.
And the list is endless.I am running out of time so would have to stop my outpouring about the gut wrenching discriminationI as a boy have faced till now.But believe me , its for real.And getting really real by the day as I watch the world around me.By now , the women liberation movement supporter in you would be itching to send a mob of angry and agitated broad shouldered women to my place.I swear I have never been to Maharashtra.I swear I have not accepted a nickel from the RSS.Neither do Ikeep a passport sized picture of Bal Thackrey in my wallet.I dont even have a trishul hidden under my bed.So as I get ready to leave office now ,you guys just remember the Doordarshan advertisement.
Treat boys and girls equally.I have to go now.An hour and a half later ,I would be found standing before the barber shop , sticking my thumb, asking for a lift from passing scooters and mopeds, in this unfair world.
And yea.My lovely sisterly angel (angelicsoulsback.blogspot.com) has got All india Rank 1 in the IIT master's entrance.And without any unfair advantage.A huge congrats to her !