Am i mother Teresa - II ?

ouch ! just look how these quizzila guys interpret a monster like me !


You are a human shadow. If a loved one needs you,
you are always right at his or her heels! Your
deep social connection with human beings
produces your qualities of genuine caring and
charisma. However, at times you are naive to
the true nature of your loved ones. Remember
that humans' gift of free will does not always
lead them in wise directions. But your essence
of love and friendship represent the other
precious gifts of humanity. Overall you are a
strikingly valuable and innocent being who has
a lot to give.(please rate my quiz cuz it took
me for freaking ever to create)



What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

baby's day out

It was around 7:30 this evening .I was watching "When Harry met Sally" ( ahh..sissy me )on my computer and munching on Lays Wafers (Spanish Tomato flavor.i love details) when i got a call from X (psst..privacy u see )from the other hostel.

X : " hey game for a movie at INOX ? we r goin to watch BLACK ! ".

Now i generally find it a little distressing to get dressed in presentable clothes , spray on a deoderant which goes my mind go dizzy n then blow bucks for a movie which can turn out to be a disaster made by a loony and bored director.

But just half an hour before X 's call , my parents were raving about the movie on the fone.And It had been recommended by "Her" too.So .

Me : " Hang On lady! Im gettin over there in 10 minutes ! ".

So i did turn up at the hostel's gate in 13 minutes.There were 11 of us.We jammed into a couple of cabs.I was made to sit in the front seat between a friend and a driver with terrorist looks. And it did get quite distressing every time the driver brought in his left hand to change the gears.
The ride was pretty reasonable.Most girls generally tend to laugh at stupid jokes.So they did laugh a couple of times at mine.

We landed at the multiplex at around 9.00 and grabbed the tickets for the 10.30 show.The Calcutta crowd though not as good at Delhi is pretty much decent and I had a pretty tolerable time pass till 10.30 with a veg pizza thrown in.

Now for the movie.

lemme explain the circumstances first.

We were in the second row from the front so i suspected all that we would be able to see would be armpits of amitabh bacchan from down there.And I had to crane my neck up all the time as if i was looking at the Qutub Minar.

And my cell battery had gone spoof by this time so i cudnt message her or recieve hers so that was also eatin me up a little.

But the movie..what do i say..its a piece of fine art.Every single frame of the movie has been crafted so elegantly,its almost surreal.Now I have never liked blogs who give out movie reviews and im not gonna be one of them.But for those who havent watched it , dont miss this one.Its almost one of the finest movies I have ever seen and I really belive this is some serious oscar stuff.

So the movie ended at around 12.45 .we got into cabs and the girls tried to sing on the way back which only served to irritate the driver.I got back to my room and plugged the cell into the charging socket and her messages flowed in .She was worried about my cell being switched off.Neways , i assured her and she is sleeping her beautiful sleep rite now.

So im planning to hit the sack now.Ive got an economics class tommorrow morning but im gonna bunk it now.Its 3.25 in the morning but the movie "BLACK" which i finished watching around 3 hours back still got me with its hangover.Do watch it.

ps - any mensa members out there ? ive got the mensa test on the 9th of Feb .First time for me so donno if i need to read anything for it.

marketing or finance ?

It was a class last week.The bearded professor in the kurta pajama asked casually "How many of you read the Economic Times ?"
.
I remembered the colourful "The Times Of India" copy i left on the bed before leaving the room.And even amongst its "non-management" flavored pages , the sports page interests me most.How unbecoming of an IIM student , eh ?

Anyways , the professor squinted with his mouth agape at the "not-to-the-profs-expectations" number of hands that shot up.

And he regained his normally sarcastic tone and remarked
"looks like most of you want to specialise in marketing ...pretty unambitious lot of wannabe managers".

Now this is what beats me.There is this thing about IIM C atleast , and i dont know about the other B Schools, that marketing is always treated as a poorer cousion of finance as a specialisation.Its almost like a gleaming new sportsbike and a scooter with a torn seat.
How can u compare marketing and finance when all about the stuff they involve is so different ?But its like if one opts for marketing job , the first thought that shoots through the mind of a typical student here is that "so the goof bungled up in the finance jobs ".

I came to IIM C with an inclination towards marketing .And after spending 7 months here , it has only increased.Thats nothing to do with my A in marketing management and C in financial accounting though.

And its the first time I am making a conscious decision regarding my career.When i did my tenth , this name IIT came in from somewhere and pasted itself on my life for the next two years before i could know whatz happening.Not that it was a bad thing to happen.I suspect i was too naive at that time to think of anything so important as my career so it was the right thing to settle for an IN thing , and IIT is an IN thing.I prayed to god to get me into an IIT.But god was on vacation when i took the IIT-JEE and i got a lowly rank of 2828 and had to settle for a lower engineering college.

And then suddenly during my third year in engineering , IIM was the IN thing to be studying for at college.Career launcher and IMS replaced microprocessors and operating systems.
Everybody wanted to be in an IIM.So I thought if everybody wanted it so bad , it must be good , so i tried for it.Now this wasnt a very deliberate decision at that point of time ,but my experience with the "oh-so-interesting" technical subjects and my expertise with them only served to reinforce the decision and by my fourth year of engineering , i was as sure of wanting to do an MBA as Australia is of beating Bangladesh.

But this decision about marketing VS Finance has to be very deliberate and calculated.Because there is no next institute for me.This is it.I am actually gonna do wat i decide now.My summers is in the finance domain , a financial consulting summers at Ernst and Young.I hope I find out enough during it to make a right decision.It better be.

slow and easy

I have always been a little slow.i mean , i dont like to rush things.The huffing and puffing part.I have got these internal speakers which keep beeping "take it easy" every now and then.I always like to do things slowly .

I used to wait at the bus stop to get to my college when i was at Delhi.And these DTC (Delhi Transport Corporation, in case u r from pluto ) buses used to rush past every now and then.And they used to be so jam packed as if the conductor was handing out cash instead of taking it.So i just stood at the bus stop . with my bag slung over my shoulder and watched the buses slow down a little , and a mob of middle aged office goers , young college going junta , teenagers going to school , women going to office to chat all day ,jump over each other to get on.And i just stood there till i got a bus which was relatively more free of humans .


And then when i was at the hostel at DCE ( Delhi College Of Engineering , for those from jupiter), there was this guy at the mess who brought to the table these "rotis" which shed more flour than a flour mill.And if i was in luck , i got the last one left.If it was a normal day , the guy next to me gave me half of his own roti.If it was an unlucky day, i said im on a diet.

And even now at IIM C ,i am one of the last one to amble in to the class with a battered notebook and a pen (in not sure if it still writes ).

I always been like this.Do the guys who rush really enjoy it ?Guess they are better off than me.They get the bus , they get the rotis and they dont have to tell the professor the reason for being late to class.

But can i change myself ? change.it has to be an internal thing .like those internal speakers have to suddenly change from saying "take it easy " to " move urself sloth !".I guess it cant happen.Im not lazy.I do my stuff and do it well sometimes.And i am in control of my life.But I just dont see the point in running so fast.I mean , these things wont get over.I get over with a thing and another crops up. So isnt it better to go a little slow and enjoy urself along the path rather than zooming ahead in a ferrari , if I dont have the time to roll down its windows ?And rushing to where , i dont think this road would end anytime.i dont think its like people get to a point and say " yea, i got it all now ".

so when therz no final destination i see , what do i rush for ?sure i do have my targets and i would achieve them , but i got to do it my way.taking it easy.

I dont know.Maybe ill make a dreadful manager.Am i in the wrong place ? I dont know.But the only way for me is to just move on.normal people may term me slow.But i dont think im slow really.my mind works fine and fast sometimes.Its just that i dont see the point in rushing.

The "screwed up grades"creature

exams are over.they went off ...umm..decent.and when i got back from the exam hall after the last exam , i flipped away the pen and the question paper with the arrogance one feels after the end of exams.you know.therz this euphoria just after the exams end and I feel happy ,even though at the back of my mind i know that the answer i copied from the next guy may be wrong , i feel relieved.

Neways , now that they are over.I have started with reading "5 point someone".its about three guys at IIT who messed up their grades and were pretty messed up in their lives too.now i am an absolutely irregular reader and if i happen to get caught in a group discussing anything about reading , i generally tell them that i have to make a call and then proceed to hide till they are back to topics like movies and music.

But I do enjoy reading whenever I do.Readers digest has been a favorite.neways , but this novel reminds me of my screwed up college days at my engineering college.n when i say screwed up , thats because i dont recall a worse phrase.

The only decent thing I did during engineering was to decide that I had to do an MBA.Those C++ codes and microprocessors still hold the power to wake me up with sweat on my forehead and terror in my eyes in the middle of the night.

I understood all that technical crap but i didnt enjoy it.ENJOY.its a word which is not treated with the importance it deserves.if I enjoy a thing I do it pretty well.but i dint enjoy all that technical shit and as a result I got really screwed up scores.

And you know what , grades get screwed up and people think that I am insulting humankind by treading the earth.I didnt flunk any paper at college but that was it.I was always the part of the gang who was composed of the "thrown-out-of-the-class-unashamed-chalk throwing-backbencher" guys.And there was this group of guys who had this dream of dying in a library.they discussed wi-fi technology while we talked more about having a wife.the professor smiled at them while he looked like he had just been diagnosed with AIDS when he came upon my group of rascals.They did all their assignments while we didnt know that we needed to submit one.

And I am not proud of all this.I should have studied but I just dint enjoy all that technical stuff.

And when I got into IIM Calcutta , it was like India had been attacked by the rest of the world combined.I mean , how could this rascal , useless joker , screwed-up-grades creature , get into one of the more decent B-schools of the nation.That was seriuosly cool.I remember one of the more highheaded guy actually waving down my bike soon and ask
" hey , did u get into IIM Calcutta.as in Indian Institute Of Management?".

His expression was like somebody had jammed a high tension eletricity cable in his ear.n i thought "yeah dood, these IIM guys bungled up.this creature got a percentile of 99.74 and got into IIM Calcutta".

i hate thinking like this.it makes me feel sick and ashamed and ungrateful, because i know god has provided me with whatever i have .but a handful of guys thought that me and my gang of guys was a burden on mother earth and it felt good to make them know otherwise.

But I dont need such big achievements to make me happy.I still think that the real happiness of life is not in a few big achievements but a million small everyday things.10 heartfelt sweet messages on my cell make me happy . If i keep waiting for big things , I would have to wait a lot.So i prefer to grab my share of happiness in little sweet stuff of everyday life.I dont mind the big stuff, who wont like getting into an IIM and stuff like that but hell, i cant wait years for such things to make me happy , i would prefer her sweet smile right this minute.

its clean..for now..

hey its true.

i cleaned my room a couple of days back.know my exams roll from the 24th so i thot "hey a clean room leads to a better frame of mind " . so i jumped outta my bed , rolled up my sleeves , put my hands on my hip , looked around the place n thot

"umm...can we do this tommorow ?".

naah , i am gonna do it today.yea , i am.

the bed is the first target.u know , its been days since ive slept alone .before u get any pleasant ideas , ive been sleeping with a couple of dirty sweatshirts , a shirt with ketchup stains, some 3 books , an empty ruffles lays pack and a compact disc case on my bed ,to name a few.

all rite , ill be sleeping alone tonite u buggers , off u go to ur respective places . wow , my bed is big enough i realise.n as a cherry on the top , im gonna change the bedsheets too.a pink new sheet with green flowers and the smell of napthalene balls is found at the bottom of the clothes almirah.spread out on the bed.cool.ive this urge to jump into the bed rite now.

but hold urself the brave room cleaner ,the job is yet to be completed.

lets look at the computer table.besides the computer ( kinda obvious ,eh ?)...i see an empty aquafina bottle toppled across the mousepad....a ponds cold cream (ah,my soft skin.. )...a torn apart "hide n seek" biscuits pack....2 empty pepsi cans(one of them still has some pepsi in it..shall i try to shake the drops into my mouth)......n a deoderant spray long exhausted.

they go off.i see my mousepad in its entirety after weeks.cool.

now for u my dear bookshelf.besides all those thick textbooks which i havent touched in weeks i find buried between them a couple of readers digest ... a shakuntala devi puzzle book(why did she have to get her face on the cover ?)....2 india today copies ...n a ahem..let this one pass.

now for the closing ceremony marked by the sweeping of the floor.now we have got sweepers for this but my room is at the top floor n gettin down n finding the guy get him to climb up all those stairs is more difficult than kissing a witch.so i bring out my personal broom (hey JHADU sounds better yaar!)

i found a shirt which had been there for about a month (serious)...3 socks(n not even one pair amongst them)...a passport sized snap of myself (who else)...n a lot of dust under the bed.

neways , i managed to gather as much as i could and carefully pushed them to the door.i paused at the door , lifted the broom backwards a little and swished down on all the stuff to get it outta the room.

wow , so i did it.now wen my mommy asks "bete room clean kiya ?" , i wont have to lie.she catches me anyways.

now for some celebration on achieving this historical feat.i pull out the top drawer and fish out a 5 star bar.my favorite.wow.i unpeel the cover and slowly relish the soft taste slowly.aah..it was as good as ever.hey now wat fr this chocolate cover in my hand.
i pause a little..and then flip it into the air n watch it land lightly near the table's leg.

its allrite yaar , i can do the cleaning some other day now.

dont be greedy

ok.the fingers are back on the keyboard.i just cudnt help it.neways, im back to life.lemme see.cool.here i start.

The TRip To Home

At 4 in the morning on the 5th of jan , i chek my air tickets n cash fr the last time in my travel bag,put over a relatively clean sweatshirt (im going home yaar!) ,clean my shoes(im going home yaar!),lock my room n jump into a yellow ambassador waiting outside the hostel.The driver puts on some bengali music.i cant understand it.he looks at me n ask if we shall move.nah, ill like to move to this wierd music instead of moving , u dumbwitted guy.move brother , ive got a plane to catch !

the ride was pretty decent.he dint try to molest me and the music though not understabdable was pretty much tolearble.

I got thru the security check things and waited in the queue at the boarding gate.Therz this pretty much decently good gal just ahead of me.hmm,looks like this flight will be cool.n i look behind to see if ne more prospective birds are in the queue.n immediately behind me is this 35ish something guy.centre parting.pencil moustache.protruding lips as if searching for a kiss.suddenly he grunts,gathers it in his mouth, searches momentarily,spots a dustbin ,leans over n "thoop !"spits in it.

im so sorry to offend ur sensibilities.but this happenned.just imagine the mental scarring ive been subjected to.

neways , i settle into my "window wali" seat in the plane.ok god , now u just get a girl besides me n ill take over then.i wait.n then a young father n his around 5 year daughter come towards me.he places the lil girl in the seat next to me.shes got a ponytail at the top of her head.its ok.atleast kids r lovely n fun to talk to, i think.she draws out a colour book n a box of crayons frm her pink lil bag.cool.ill teach her how to color.

n then there is this arguement between some guys over the seat numbers.swapping of places.glares.arguements.n then things settle down n guess wat , that "spitting guy" is sitting besides me now.o god,why did u do this to me.

he looks at me.i remember the dustbin.he pulls out a magazine on pottery frm the flight mags.he looks at the photographs with the "hmmm...nothing new u see,i got them all" expression.
the plane begins to move forwards now.he pushes back the mag , leans over n places his face rite in front of me to look out of the window , n asks me " is it moving ?".

n i say " looks like we r moving .i guess we have to."

the flight takes off.suddenly he leans forward and pulls up a black leather bag onto his lap.i suspect hez taking out a gun or a rocket launcher or something.ok,he pulls out a 500 ml plastic bottle which has got some thick dark liquid.he stops an airhostess n says "plain glass".she gets a glass of plain water.he struggles with his expressions n repeats "plain glass".finally we decipher he wants an empty glass.he gets it n pours this liquid in it n keeps inhaling it with all kinds of sounds emnating frm his nose.im almost teary thinking of an imagined girl sitting besides me.

he packs up his bottle n decides to relax now.he moves back the seat n puts up his hands behind his head which means his left armpit is just next to my right ear.ok.im ok.n then he turns his head towards me which means his nose is just next to my right ear.im almost ok.ok.

the hostess brings the candies tray n he almost jumps onto the tray.the food comes n he keeps sticking his elbow in my ribs all thru it.n then we hear that we will soon land.at this he brings his face agonisingly close to mine to see outta the window n looks at me n says " fog ".

i somehow move my lips without touching his cheeks n say " hmmm.foggg"

by the time the plane landed i was like "hey mr.pilot,gimme a parachute,im jumping out now".
the plane was completely full n hence these guys cudnt allow a seat change.

i guess it was my greed fr a "next-seat-telephone-no-exchnging" girl that god did this to me.so the next time u hop onto a plane,just remember,things can be bad.

ps-ne idea if i can send free sms using some website or somehow.my cell accnt running out fast n i gotta send these messages.

im coming mommy !

Just finished with watching "finding neverland".it touched my heart.A very simple dreamy movie.n at the climax , when tears fill the little boy's wide n clear hazel eyes and slide delicately down his fair and pristine cheeks ,its difficult to deny the tears in your own eyes .Death of his mother it was.

Death is a painful thing.Not the pain of the body.But the pain of the seperation.Of not feeling the smell of her hands.Of missing the moments when you threw your arms playfully around her neck.Of not watching her folding the clothes.of not hearing her voice.

I know that death is not a pleasant thing.But just if we remember that it is there , waiting for of all of us,life can be more sincerely lived.Just remember that at the twilight,you will just have the moments made of these emotions and feelings to savour.nothing concrete.no money.no cars.no houses.no businesses run .no empires built.just these little moments.so we must be good.
a fast brain u may do without.but have a beautiful heart.People wont remember the money u got , but how you made them feel.

And the good news is that this thing called life has lately been, not exactly as horrible as listening to bappi lahiri songs .

Im getting reasonable scores in my tests.After my first term scores ,anything greater than zero seems a reasonable score.

Checked today that my attendance records for the last term are adequate .So I dont need to feign a broken ankle or brain cancer to justify my absence from the classes.

And I am going home.

5th dawns and those two hours in the sky would carry me from a world of deadlines,assignments,notes and submissions to one of my parents smiles and my sister's mischiefs.A kinda hole in the heart remains when I am away from home.And the most painful part is when on the 10th ,I will haul my travel bag on my shoulder and look back and wave to them at the departure lounge of the Delhi airport.Thats life,I think.

And know what , I may get a chance to actually help little poor kids as a part of the work being done by PARIVAAR , an ngo run by an IIM C alumnus here at Calcutta.They wanted IIM C students to help out and some of us volunteered.Lets see.I would really feel glad to do something like this.

So people , thats very much it.Pray that a girl sits besides me on the flight and if u got time , ask god to make it a pretty , single and "telephone-number-exchanging" girl.

the year that was

a very happy new year to you , ur family , ur neighbours , ur pet dog , ur milkman , ur newspaper boy and ur postman.

its 3.30 am and my love with insomania continues.the year was pretty reasonable , perhaps the most defining of my life.so lemme look at the tyre marks im leaving behind on the road called life this year.

~~ I got out of my engineering college gracefully , without a single back paper.thats an achievement.seriosuly, with my kind of IQ , i deserve the nobel prize for doing that.

~~ I got into IIM Calcutta .This was like sachin hitting a century after 10 consecutive ducks.I had been tagged a useless joker all through teh 4 years of my college.So for once it felt good when even that pretty girl in the other class knew that this guy did something decent.

~~ I had to live away from family for the first time in my life.im doin a tolerable job , i think.though my room looks like an assortment of dirty clothes , empty wafer bags , coke cans and chocolate wrappers ,books and magazines, im alive and brush my teeth everyday .

~~ I travelled in an aeroplane for the first time .now this is all relative.i had never done that earlier.so i think its worth a mention amongst my life changing events of the year.The air hostesses were not as pretty as those in the movies.And I did not get a window seat.and an old grumpy man sat besides me and he kept fingering his nose every 9 minutes.and i travelled by air 2 more times after that.

~~ I am not doing as well as i wanted to in my MBA . But i kinda make up for that by assuming a spiritual face and saying " i dont want too much money , u see ".

~~ I managed to start a blog and keep it going.Though many of u must have had this urge to send me a letter bomb due to this blog , ive enjoyed it.

~~ I still love the same girl i loved at the start of the year.her parents named her aishwarya rai.u might have heard of her.

~~ I made the path breaking discovery that humans can survive without sleep.the guinea pig was me for this experiment , courtesy the not-so-lovely work schedule at IIM C.

~~ I developed this funny ability to know when to stop.and i feel i should stop now.

a very happy 2005 to all of u again.be happy and make others happy , atleast make me happy.

Of Indian Government Offices and my love for them

I hate them.I know hate is a bad word.But i really hate them.More than I hated that school bully who used to eat my lunch and sing vulgar songs complete with pelvic gyrations when I was at school.

The targets of my poisonous hate are these bloody "sarkaari" indian government offices or "daftars" which have been serving the public , as they would like us to believe.

Ladies later.Men first.The men behind the rotting files on the shaky tables chew paan with open mouths, smoke cigarettes , drink tea / coffee endlessly , and some even bring in their radios and listen to altaf raja songs at the office. The men are mostly middle aged and have their hair dyed jet black with some locally made dye like " kala jadoo" or “black diamond” or something. They generally have yellow teeth because of their tobacco eating exploits .And mostly commute using shaky scooters or public buses.

They get this delightful gleeful twinkle in their eyes whenever some female walks into the office. Yeah. They are just so frustrated of their equally frustrated wives that any female would do for them . Even the sweepress is good enough for an occasional flirting session. The men of the office jostle to attend to the female while the male visitors are subjected to that “why-don’t-u-die-rite-now “ look and told to wait.

One of the major sources of "job satisfaction" for these lazybums is to harass some educated guy and thus grab the "see-my-power-u-mr.educated ?" category satisfaction.

The women gracing these government offices are more irritating than kareena kapoor in "Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham".These 40-50 year olds blotch their lips with colors as gaudy as daler mehndi's turban's. Their big drooping bellies complete with their stretch marks peep out and they generally tend to have huge waistlines due to the sedentary nature of their jobs , made all the more sedentary due to their own sedentary nature.

The handbag is the integral part of the armory of such women and they like to carry an umbrella to help them protect their imagined fair complexion from the sun. They feel that wearing sleeveless blouses makes them look as irresistible as Julia Roberts , if not more.They have this affinity to improve efficiency by multitasking office work with chores like slicing ladyfinger, potatoes, kheeras and other vegetables.The winters favorite is knitting half sleeved brown sweaters for their grumpy husbands. The “challenges” at the job include proving “my bittoo/raju/pinky/whatever is so smart ...he can dance all those hrithik’s moves ” .

Another feature which marks winter time is the wide availability of oranges and peanuts. And these eatables leave off their legacy in the form of orange skins and peanut shells which can then be found sprinkled liberally all over the office till the gang of sweepers decides to take a break from playing cards and move off their bony asses.

I have developed such a harsh and venomous opinion of these great institutions based on my experiences at my school office ,the bus pass office , the college administrative office , the driving licence office , the colony telephone exchange and the colony electricity department complaint cell to name a few ,triggered off by another of desk hopping sessions at one of these damn offices recently.

I know that some good men and women work at these temples of inefficiency too .I do feel for them .But then forgive my narrow mindedness, I just hate these places.

Whatz MY "success" ?

ive been thinking lately.thinking about the concept of success.Am I on the right track ? will I be a success ? Am I moving towards that stage when I will be called a "successful" man ?

Actually this was sparked about a little discussion that happenned with a friend of mine during the class yesterday.We were flipping through the latest businesstoday edition when we chanced upon the pictures of a classmate of us who recently won the BT acumen debate .congrats to him.

n my friend dint seem to be very impressed while I was like "hey look ! thats our classmate in the snap !" i remarked that this guy wud be a "success" one day.That this guy was better than me ,infact than most of the guys in the class.

So my friend says " how can u say that he is "better" ?n i reply "because the society thinks so-the society rewards him not me, felicitates him not me".

and my buddy retorts-"If u let society define success for u , u wont find ur own success."

wait . isnt there like a common definition of success which has been laid down by society and all of us will be termed successful when we meet the parameters laid down there ? we dont have our own concept of success at all.I want an easy life , but i will be successful if im working my ass off at some I bank in new york.wait,this doessnt make sense.I will be "successful" as per society even though im doing something i dont want to.nah,this is wierd.I wanna spend time with my family , but ill b successful when im at a job where i work day in n day out in a different country.this wont do.kids are working crazy to crack CAT bcos its been told to em that they will be successful only if they get into IIMs.a collective common defintion of success has been fed into their brains.

so whats the way out ? looks like I need my own concept of "success".which will have things which I want.not what the society deems necessary for me to have.yea,this sounds right.we all need our own definitions of success.u may need to crack CAT to be a success , n u may not.it all depends on what "success" is for u.

n yea, a merry christmas to all ! may this season bring ...(all thats printed on those greeting cards ;))

On the Jukebox :"Jab Tum Yaad Aye "- Alka Yagnik

Flashback

i feel like somebody just used a "time catapult" to throw me back in time. all those mock CATS.the analysis.the timing strategies.what makes me more assured about me being a nut is that i had exactly "37" minutes alloted to DI.the ranks.the time AIMCATS.i cant recall my TIME AIMCAT reg number.it was like somethin starting with GR or sometthin which stood for gurgaon.and i liked the receptionist at the TIME centre .yeah,she was sweet.her smile was.The career launcher receptionist wasnt good, she was fat and smudged her lips with thick red lipstick and i dint like the way she looked at my legs.u took that seriously.

And it aint that im in the terminal stages of blood cancer to revel in old memories and feel "thrown back in time".what brought about this cerebral flight is the decleartion of CAT scores some 5 hours back.the same stuff happens again.heartbreaks.celebrations.whoops.sobs.grins.breakdowns.high fives.But the important thing is to decide upon the future.if u want an IIM hard enuf and missed out this time , u deserve a next chance,dont be afraid and give it ur best shot the next year.maybe its easy for me to say that.i dont know.

But if any of you deem me capable of any help regarding CAT and the GD/PI ,dont hesitate to get me on the yahoo messenger at abhi844 or mail me at abhi844@yahoo.com.
But mind you, my devastating ideas have ...well, devastated a lot.

And ive noticed there are a lot of lovely blogs around,i think a lil blogroll revision wont kill anyone.

So if u think that u will like ur blog to be added to my lil list here on the sidebar,please leave a little request comment to this post along with the blog url and send me a thousand dollar cheque and a sexy blonde girl. n I will be glad if u link to my blog from yours.

Ok,lest u start writing the cheque , make it simple,just cut out the cheque and the babe.infact,i was jolted into action to do this by Ravi Handa's blogroll revision.

I think ill watch "love actually" the movie now.3 in the morning is the perfect time to commit such an act.

On the Jukebox : BACK TO UR HEART - Backstreet Boyz

all right , back to work i go

so the "pit stop" is about to end.the fueltanks have been refilled.the tyres have been changed.ive got a new helmet.its anotherlap.another term here at IIM calcutta.the classes start tomorrow for a fresh and glistening term 3.

n the weekend that was a very pleasant one.i slept and ate and watched movies.it was the kinda weekend wen u have the liberty to lose the sense of time.to watch back to back movies.u dont need to shave.or to take a bath.u can get up at 1 in the afternoon and the only troubling question facing u is which is the next movie u gonna watch.

So the movie which brought down the curtains on this lovely weekend was "KAL HO NA HO".i hadnt watched it earlier.its ok,be shocked.and i cried watching it.infact, i cried more than i had watching ne movie.yea, im a 23 year old guy n i cried.n i think that real men do cry.why do they need to keep their feeling bottled up..now dont tell me guys dont feel as sad as girls.i felt sad and i believe my male hormones are working all right.atleast i hope they are.
and as is customary at the start of nething, lemme think what should be my targets this term.the CG thing goes without saying.ill study regularly.yea,u gotta watch this,ill do it,rite from the first day.and ill keep my room cleaner.it looks like a hurricane tore through it rite now.the only things in place are the walls.anything they hold between themselves is so disorganised,including me.yea,that reminds me,i need to organise myself.and i need to think about my future.before deciding wat kinda gal i wanna marry and the no of kids i wanna have,i need to decide upon the more immediate issue-the MBA subjects i wanna specialise in.i came here with an inclination towards marketing but god decided to grant me a summers in finance so am as confused as george bush wud be in an english grammar class.n i need to be more considerate when im talking to my parents.they call me up and im doing this assignment and i kinda rush through the conversation without much attention.i feel guilty doing such things.ill call them up more often and be more nice talking to them.
So thats about it.hope the term turns out to be fun.bcos at the end of the day,thats wat life is
supposed to be , it gotta be fun.atleast mine gotta be .

On the jukebox : EVERYBODY - Backstreet Boys

a lovely day , and im in it

i just love it.the feeling.when the eyes dont feel heavy.the head doesnt feel heavy.when the mind feels as a spring garden .fresh n rosy.the feeling u get seeing a vast countryside field with the windmill and the cows and the cool breeze.thats what happens after 10 hours of non stop sleep.with no deadlines to fear.no assignments to submit.no alarms to shock.when u wake up at 10 in the morning, n dont think -"fuck ! i missed the class again ".instead , u smile knowingly to urself,and pull up the sheets to ur ears.ok, i know im making sleep look as precious as jennifer lopez' bottom.but 6 months at an IIM , n im ready to swap 10 hours of sleep with that.maybe.
n i did see SAW yesterday.

not the "see saw" fought over to sit on by 5 year olds during lunch breaks at the playgrounds.i mean i saw the movie "SAW" yesterday.was a bad decision.the movie wasnt bad.dont crucify me now.but u gotta have a frame of mind to watch a movie.my frame of mind was like - " 5 days of exams n 14 hours of sleep over these 5 days".so i shud have watched a movie that wudnt have demended an ounce of my battered n bruised cerebral contents.mebbe a jim carrey thhing.but i watched SAW.it was a movie which was blood , blown up bodies,shreds of flesh,more blood,psycopaths,guns,and more blood.n i being a person who feels dizzy at the sight of blood in real life ( yeah , thats true, n my parents are doctors) , had to look away from the screen at times.so i gotta watch some bubbly movie now to make up fr this blunder of mine.wait , ill send out a request over the LAN network rite now.yea.done.

n ive been reading blogs.its cool.just looking at the way different people have diferent lives n different ways of thinking.some are grumbling, some are excited,some ae sad,some are funny.iim students.bored housewives.teenage girls.software programmers.CAT aspirants.music freaks.IIT geeks.sometimes it feels a waste of time reading all this but it kinda puts my own life in perspective , just to realise that there are so many people and viewpoints out there, n im just one of them.helps one break free of the "im-the-centre-of-world" viewpoint.
CAT results are gonna be out soon.wish all the aspirants a lot of happiness and luck.it sure fels good when i got that sms from my dad - "C,L,I,K confirmed....CONGRATS munnu".incase u wondering why I recieved the sms directed to this "munnu" guy,thats my nick within my family circle.

guess what ! i just downloded "padosan" from the LAN .the kishore kumar,mehmood riot.now this is gonna be FUN. yea.lemme grab my bag of chips n the coke n the popcorn n turn off the lights now.
tada fr now pals...its showTime !

the "normal life" weekend

the exams are behind me and two days of sleeping+movies+table tennis+music+reading blogs await me.i dont think i did too well or too bad.n neways,due to the end-of-exams euphoria ,nebody wud feel like pretty cool.so lemme feel good.no exam talk.
a lot of guys are leaving for their homes today.n the rest are loading up their comps wid movies n games to chill out over the weekend.we got this message broadcasting tool here on our comps so neone can send out a message to the entire network here.so im seeing a lotta messages rite now which look now - " ne jim carrey movie wid someone";"musafir CD 2 ?";"ne comedy out there ".the girls are asking for "bridget jones diary 2 ". even im downloading SAW now.ive heard its a lil too complicated.n i dint sleep at last night so dont know if its a good idea to test my comprehension skills on this movie.
u know , at times like these ,wen the exams have just got over, u see the real kid in these IIM students.its like someone has pushed up a cage's door and all birds are flying out to freedom.sometimes i feel scared n feel we guys are like machines out there to grab marks and wud kill happily for the grades.but then u see that these are normal kids all right just trying to work hard.so its nice.u feel like ur back to a normal life for this weekend , not an IIM life.
mebbe ill go out tonight.though i know i shud catch up on sleep. but the gangs are planning to move out tonight , so will havta go with the majority.therz some talk about watching "Swades".been a long time since i watched a SRK flick.
one thing i did wrong these exams was trying to study in bed.thot a comfortable body leads to a better frame of mind.but trying not to sleep and study while in bed at 3 in the morning is like turning away ashwarya rai when she wants to kiss u.so it was a kinda sticky position to be in.i think im obsessed with ashwarya rai.but who wudnt.can neone be more delicate,more pristine,more elegant,more pure,more beautiful.shez like the definition of beauty.
im feeling sleepy now.the SAW is almost copied.let me see if i can undertand it right now.or else, ill catch up with ashwarya in my dreams.not bad.

exams ? tell me sumthing new.

here they are.all the 6 of them like dangling targets to be shot down.the end terms for term 2 roll off tommorrow.ive faced so many exams over my education,it no longer excites me.of course , CAT did.n IIT JEE did.the resta have been rather "routine".

n it is the most "global" subject to cut the ribbons.business ethics.its about why we shud not cheat n bribe.so its the kind of subject where one can write a lot of crap.n the professor may just like that.i suspect girls will tend to get higher marks here.in fact , girls do have an advantage here at a b skool.im not debating this.its an accepted fact.the placement figures support that.n its natural.a bank wud prefer a pretty lass over me to meet their old n frustrated clients .in fact, even a not-so-pretty lass wud do.

i just recalled a snippet from the last ethics class:

the professor had orgnised a last class fr the term at 8 in the morning.so the class had a lot of hungry and sleepy souls.the class gets over at 9:30.the professor lets out a contended sigh.he expects that it has beeen a life changing experience for us.n that the sole aim of our lives is to follow "business ethics" on this planet.
so in keeping with the above thoughts , he looks around the class and asks in a deliberate ,slow voice:
"so as students of a premium b skool,what do you plan to do now after studying all this ?"
n one guy replies-" breakfast".

neways,i dont have much to study for this tonight,ive kinda covered the stuff.mebbe ill search fr sum more stuff on the net.but im feeling a lil drowsy after the aloo parantha n veg sandwiches i had half n hour bak.nah, i am not a lazy couch potato to eat all this , i had to eat that since i skipped dinner.

wish me luck pals.

listening to - Oh CArol !

wherez the cold ?

most prolly uve heard this song b4.neways , herz the lyrics:

http://www.icdc.com/~dnice/sunscreen.html

pretty practical and simple things.yet so rarely followed.we guys tend to forget the things dat r the most basic."respect ur elders".heard it a zillion times.simple words.yet so seldom practiced.there r so many intricate n complex stuff in life dat these lil basics of life have been pushed to some dark corner of the brain attic.

air tickets have been booked fr the 5th of jan.im coming home again fr 5 days.that will be great.winters are good at gurgaon.sitting in the warm sunlight.munching on peanuts.sucking on orange slices.the morning cold which makes the ears go red.n the nose too.wearing woolen socks.the mufflers.the room heaters.the blinding fog.the frost on the windshields i stratch shapes in.those heavy quilts.how the mood lifts wen the sun comes out.thats real winter.n thats good.im missing the north indian winter.winter here is letdown to the concept of winters.its hardly cold.infact,its kinda warm.this is no winter.i really miss feeling cold.therez nuthin better than reading comics wrapped cozily in a quilt.

oh, i wanna be home now.hey "5th of Jan",cant u come around in december this time around ?

cant slow down !

man , that was the precise feeling to depict the day i had .slept at 6 in the morning as i was wurkin on that report abt the telecom sector. dragged myself out of bed at 8:30.grabbed breakfast and got to the cost accounting class at 9.45. decided to complete the report by bunking the next class.an hour into the class , i get a call frm the guy supposed to sign for me sayin there were too few people in the class to safely do so. With my attendance already being on the brink , i am forced to play the brat who walks in the class more than an hour late ! n guess wat,the subject was "ethics".the prof turned out to be an angel and ignored this.god bless him.tried to pick up some cost accounting in that class .had a quiz at 5.30 in the evening , u see. but the angelic prof decided to bring in a lil of satan and forgot the concept of time while teaching.that left me with just half an hour for lunch.that included the trip to the hostel n back.n suddenly i remember the telecom report.worked upon it during the break n dint bother my digestive system.rushed to the next class.was relatively cool.i dozed a lil sitting at the back.zoom to the end of class.got to my room n wrapped the report.emailed it.grabbed my calculator and rushed to the quiz hall. tried to get something over the next half n hour. trudged back to my room.took a bath,had dinner and grappling with accounting numericals since then.

i feel i need to get a grip on my life.been kinda drifting of late.like my engineering days.im still not clear abt the specialisation i wanna go in.u know , CAT is said to be the tuffest exam around n with so many guys working their asses off to crack it, i feel lucky to be here at IIM . n not doing my best here makes me feel kinda guilty .So thinz will be changing a lil now.i need to get a grip on my life .yea.

About the heartbreak, i feel fine now .mebbe it was just infatuation.but tnx fr the consolations.i think ill do just fine without a gal around fr sum time to come :)

end of it

hi.i need to write this down.i need to get this outta my system .I need to move on.This is too personal a thing but then i wont get killed for letting it out here.The girl whoz been in the mention over the last coupla posts has pushed me off the cliff of my dreams.events over the last 2 days caused an almost direct offer(the placement lingo wont leave me ?) from my side and she rejected me.straight.atleast thats the good part.no dilly dallying. im not her type.shez not my type.and now i feel so stupid doing such a thing when my parents have sent me here to study.im sorry folx.thank god it got over.ive been popular and cool with the gang of guys and now plan to have it for the resta of my time here at IIM C.people who know me would find this post wierd.tell u wat, it was wierd.but im not drinking or searching for poison or planning to lie on the rail tracks tonite ! sorry devdas , but im not a believer in ur philosophy.end of chapter.life, here i come.

stats and glitches

the wonders of technology again caught up with me with the comments section of blog throwing up some tantrums.and being a computer engineer who freezes at the mention of ne word containing even sounding like coding , i dint wanna mess around with the html codes the blogspot guys wanted me to do.so i chose the "no tension" option of pulling up an entirely different template. and thanx to rohit for pointing out the snag.

the site provides me the hit counter also provides a list of the terms which have led unsuspecting and innocent souls to stumble upon my blog.here it is:

iim
placement
quark
pagalguy
csc
abhinav
calcutta
papers
http://www.businessworldindia.com/sep0604/coverstory01.a
wipro
summers
cat
neha
kalra
funda
prerna

wat else, the damn exams will be here in nother 10 days. im downloading the movie "garfield " from the LAN as i type this.i plan to study riskman tonite.mebbe will catch the movie during the short breaks i plan to have.i swear,will keep em short!;).

song-"It wasn't me -SHAGGY"